Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) (16 page)

“He’s kidding.” I smacked him. “You can sober him up
but you can’t take him out.”

“If this is him sober I think I liked it better when
he was drunk and passed out,” she glared.

“Give me a few minutes and I can make your wish come
true.” He signaled for a waiter and ordered a mimosa. I gave him my
‘I do not approve’
look and he just smiled. “I do tend to be
at my best when I’m drinking.”

“I beg to differ,” I complained.

“Is he always like this?” Cameron asked. She had her
arms crossed in a guarded pose.

“Unfortunately yes,” I replied.

“You know you love it.” Tristan leaned down to kiss
me. I pulled back. Not because I was annoyed with him like normal,
but because I felt like being affectionate in public was like I
already dismissed Roman and it just felt wrong.

Tristan looked at me funny and I didn’t know what to
say. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I think he assumed I
was just mad at him for his comment and let it go. He pulled out my
chair for me and suddenly I felt like the worst person in the
world. I already cheated on Roman by giving in to temptation last
night and it finally hit me how wrong it was. “Ella, are you okay?”
I looked up at Tristan and forced a smile. I nodded and took a
seat.

Tristan went to hold my hand and I pulled away,
looking guilty at Cameron. Tristan leaned in closer to me and
whispered, “Did I do something wrong, because I’m sensing something
isn’t right here.”

“No, everything is fine.”

“Ella, I can feel something is wrong. I feel…guilt,”
he said, eyeing me.

“What do you mean you feel guilt?” I asked.

“I don’t feel it, but…” he looked at me. “You
do…why?”

“I…I…” I had no idea what to say.

I looked at Cameron again. She sighed, dropping her
guard. “Look Ella, I knew from the beginning what you were coming
here to do and at any time I could have called Roman to let him
know but I didn’t. It’s not my business. I told you I’m here for
you and whatever you do is up to you. I don’t judge,” she said,
giving me a kind smile. “So you two don’t have to hide anything
around me or feel guilty.”

“Who’s Roman?” Tristan asked.

“You didn’t tell him?” she said, trying to hide her
smile.

Once again I was at a loss for words. Josie and Billy
showed up then and paused when they got to the table. “Okay, what
did I miss?” Josie asked, sensing the tension.

“Who’s Roman?” Tristan asked again.

“He’s…um…maybe we should talk about this later,” I
tried, not wanting to explain this in front of everyone. The look
on Tristan’s face told me that this was going to be a long and
awkward breakfast. I sat up and cleared my throat. Dean arrived and
took a seat next to Cameron. “I think we should order now,” I said,
hoping he would drop this. Tristan gave me a side long glance, but
didn’t say anything.

I looked up at Dean who was glaring at Tristan. “You
still on a murderous rampage or you better now?”

“Dean!” I yelled.

“Ella, it’s fine,” Tristan said, not even bothering
to look at me. “I understand your need for concern,” he began,
addressing Dean. “But you don’t have to worry. I would never do
anything to hurt Ella.”

“It didn’t seem that way last night.”

“Last night I wasn’t myself and I apologize for that.
You have my word that I would never do anything to hurt Ella and I
will do whatever I can to protect her.”

“Say whatever you want, but hear this. You do
anything to hurt my sister or harm her in any way, I will make you
wish you were never born,” Dean hissed.

“Are we done now?” I glared at Dean. He didn’t say
anything else. Instead he just picked up his menu.

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the
real hurt he was giving you last night,” Josie winked.

“Josie,” I chastised.

Dean looked at her appalled. “New subject
please.”

I was so embarrassed I knew my cheeks had to be
bright red. “I prefer to talk about how you were spying last
night,” I said, narrowing my eyes at Josie.

“I wasn’t spying. I just popped in to make sure you
were okay,” she smiled sweetly.

“And let me guess you just so happened to pop in
when?”

“I think you got a few moves you could teach me,” she
said, wagging her eyebrows.

“Next time you pop in you should stay,” Tristan said
to Josie with his cocky smile.

“Gross,” Josie and I both said.

“You wouldn’t mind Billy, would ya?”

“Just as long as I can borrow Ella,” he smiled.

“Okay, you know what,” I started.

“Seriously dudes, that’s my sister and I don’t want
to hear this,” Dean said, making us all laugh, breaking some of the
tension. I had a feeling that Tristan’s sudden mood change was to
hide the fact how really pissed off he was. I knew the second
breakfast was over he would demand to know who Roman was and I
would have to tell him.

After breakfast, we all went our separate ways. Billy
and Josie went with Dean and Cameron to go sightseeing. I could
tell Dean wasn’t thrilled but he went along anyways. I would have
traded spots with him at the moment if I could. I was dreading
talking to Tristan and I knew he wasn’t too thrilled either. By the
way I brushed it off at breakfast and made it a point not to talk
about it then I knew he knew this was serious.

Inside the room, Tristan automatically went to the
couch and took a seat. “Want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
His mood changed from soft and light to hard and guarded, not
making this any easier.

I took a breath, letting it out slowly. I knew there
was no point in trying to lie. So I decided I was just going to
come out with it. “Roman is…my boyfriend.”

His face dropped and he leaned forward, resting his
elbows on his knees. He covered his face with his hands and then
ran them through his hair. “Is it serious?”

“Yes…but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Our last conversation didn’t go so well.” He looked
up at me waiting for me to explain. Knowing this might take a bit,
I sat down on the bed so I could brace myself if my legs gave out.
“I kind of left in a hurry when I came to find you. I told no one
what I was doing or where I was going. I left a lot of worried and
pissed off people back at school.” I looked down at my thumbs,
digging into my over picked cuticles. “I didn’t tell Roman, well,
because how do you tell your boyfriend that you find out your
ex-boyfriend is still alive and you have to go find him because you
have to tell him you love him because the guilt of not admitting
when you should have was eating you up inside.” I bit my lip and
looked up at the ceiling. I could feel the tears start to pool in
my eyes and I was not going to let myself cry, not this time.

Tristan looked up at me, his eyes filled with
sadness. “You feel guilty for not telling me how you felt?” I
nodded, afraid my voice would betray me. He got up and sat next to
me on the bed. I looked into his eyes and thought I might lose it.
He slipped his arms around me and I leaned into his chest. “Ella,
there’s no reason to feel guilty. I don’t ever want you to feel
that way.”

“Easier said than done,” I mumbled into his
chest.

He let out a breath. “Does he know?”

“He called several times since I left. I avoided his
calls at first not able to explain it to him, but after a while I
knew he deserved the truth. So I told him.” I pulled back to see
his expressionless face.

“And he broke up with you?”

“I don’t know exactly. He said he understood, but…I
told him…” I had to look away. “I told him I loved him, but he
didn’t say it back.” I could feel my lip begin to tremble. Tristan
dropped his arms. “Do you hate me?”

“No Ella, I could never hate you. Why would you think
that?”

“Because I lied to you.”

He placed his hand gently on my cheek and pulled me
forward so he could kiss my forehead. “Ella, no. I understand why
you didn’t tell me and I’m not mad at you. I should have known
someone as beautiful as you would have been snatched up by now,” he
winked, trying to force a smile, but I could tell he was hurt.

I threw my arms around him needing to feel him
against me. I could feel his hesitation to hold me back which hurt
more than I thought it would. “Do you love him?” he asked, making
me stiffen.

I tried to blink away the tears, but a few managed to
escape hitting Tristan’s shoulder. “Yes,” I whispered.

He let out a breath but didn’t pull away. I could
tell he was conflicted. His mind was a jumbled mess of confusion
and I couldn’t get a clear read. “Stop that,” he said, pulling
away.

“Stop what?” I asked confused.

He stood up abruptly. “You don’t get to do that. You
don’t have the right to get inside my head.”

“I…I wasn’t…”

“Yes you were. I could feel it. That’s not fair
Ella.”

“I’m sorry. It was an accident. Sometimes I can’t
always help it and I...I just wanted to know what you were
feeling.”

“You want to know what I’m feeling? Feel this.” He
placed my hand over his racing heart and held it there. “This is
what I feel every time I’m with you. Every time I touch you,” he
reached up and cupped my face. “Ella, you make my heart beat ten
times faster just by being in my presence. I wish you would just
trust in this,” he said, hitting my hand where it lied on his
chest. My shoulders started to shake as the tears spilled down my
cheeks. Tristan lifted me up off the bed and wrapped his arms
around me tight. “Ella, I don’t know what’s going on inside your
head right now, but whatever you’re feeling, just know I’m right
here.” I pulled back to look into his beautiful blue eyes that I
missed so much. “And I’ll always be here,” he said, placing his
hand over my heart.

“Tristan, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you from the
beginning. I was just so happy I found you I didn’t want to ruin it
and I guess I was being selfish.”

“You weren’t being selfish. You were being human.” He
hugged me again and I could feel the tension relax in his body.
“Look, whatever is going on back at home we’ll worry about that
later. We’re here now so let’s make the most of our time together.
No sense in punishing yourself for something you can’t control.”
Something about the way he said
‘our time together’
made me
believe he meant it was limited. And that made me worry.

“Hey, no more crying,” he said, lifting my chin with
his finger.

“Let me guess, pretty girls don’t cry?”

“Close, but no.” I scrunched my eyebrows in
confusion. “Naked girls don’t cry.” I raised a brow and he picked
me up in one swift motion. “I believe you owe me a sponge bath,” he
said, throwing me his cocky smile. I laughed as he carried me to
the bathroom.

When he put me down, I sighed, still having a slight
feeling of guilt. I knew it didn’t matter much anymore. I guess I
never expected to feel so conflicted. When I found Tristan, he was
all I cared about, all I could think of. And when I was with him,
nothing else mattered. But the mention of Roman twisted my stomach
up in knots making me feel like the worst person in the world. Two
completely different men that I loved and all I could think about
how selfish I was because I wanted both. I didn’t know how to let
the other go so I decided I would allow myself both, but I knew it
wouldn’t last long. Tristan noticed my expression and turned off
the water. “Ella, we don’t have to do this. I would never make you
do anything you’re not comfortable with. I would understand.”

“Tristan,” I grabbed the sides of his face. “I love
you and yes I love Roman too, but I knew what I was doing when I
came here. I knew what would happen when I found you and I don’t
regret one minute of it. I want you, right here, right now.
Everything else we can deal with later. Let’s not worry about it.”
And that was the truth. When I look into his eyes, all thoughts of
Roman dissolved. I was where I wanted to be, where I needed to
be.

I leaned behind him and turned the water back on. He
smiled and pushed me back against the counter. He kissed me with
such a force I thought I would lose my breath. Before I knew it he
was ripping my clothes off – literally. Shredded pieces of cloth
were flying everywhere. He lifted me up on the counter and I
wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer. I ripped his shirt
in half and he pulled back looking at me in shock. “That was really
hot,” he smiled.

“Just wait,” I said as I shredded his pants. He
grabbed my hips and pulled me into him while my fingers ran up and
down his bare back. I tilted my head to the side as his lips
traveled down my neck. His hands were slowly making their way up my
sides, sending shivers through my whole body and making me quiver.
I pulled him tighter against me wanting to feel his bare skin
against mine. My pulse was racing with anticipation. I heard a
small growl and the next thing I knew his teeth were sliding into
my neck. I gasped as he tightened his grip around me and bit
deeper. I was overcome with a flood of emotions. I felt like I was
riding a wave. I ran my fingers through his hair and pushed myself
into him. I let out a tiny moan and he pulled back. I wiped the
little bit of blood from his lips and licked it off my fingers. He
smiled and for a moment I thought we would break everything in the
bathroom.

The old school, bear claw tub was just big enough to
fit the both of us. I leaned back into him as he rung out water
from the sponge and slowly moved it up and down my shoulder. I
adjusted the bubbles in the water by swirling my finger around in
circles. “How do you feel?” he asked, dragging the sponge across my
shoulders.

“Amazing,” I said, unable to unscrew the smile from
my face. “What do you want to do today?”