Unforgettable (25 page)

 
“When? Just now?” He lunged for me and I let him pull me into a hug.

 
I could have lied to him, but I knew he deserved the truth. “In the kitchen,” I mumbled.

 
“In the kitchen? And you didn’t say anything?” I hated the edge of disappointment in his voice.

 
“I just freaked out. I didn’t know what to say.” Talk about understatements.

 
“How about “Ethan, I remember.”?” Uh, when he put it like that it seemed like the logical thing to do, unfortunately I was me and I did things my own way.

 
“I’m sorry.”

 
“When were you planning to tell me?”

 
“I just needed a minute to myself. I was freaking out a little bit.” I was planning to tell him right away, wasn’t I? I didn’t know for sure anymore.

 
“Did you need the time just to dig around for the ring?”

 
I thought back. No, I had needed time to think, but it was true that left the kitchen knowing I was going to look for it.

 
“No, well yes. I remembered the ring and I just had to make sure that I was right. But it’s not in your drawer anymore so I was worried you had changed your mind. I don’t know what happened after that, I just snapped. I
had
to find it. I didn’t mean to ruin your surprise, Ethan. Really.” Snapped. That was what people with temporary insanity pleaded in court.

 
“I moved it.” Well, at least he didn’t say he had changed his mind.

 
“Oh.” We stood there awkwardly, which wasn’t something that happened to us very often. With Ethan at least, I was always in my comfort zone.

 
“Well, at least you got your memory back. That’s what’s most important right now.” That’s right. I had full use of my faculties for the first time in days. It felt wonderful. Except for this situation, of course.

 
“So, you remember the last two years?” I nodded. “What about us? Do you remember us?”

 
“Of course. That’s why I hugged you in the kitchen. I was so happy to remember you again.” I gave him a big smile and held him to me. “I love you. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” He really was the most wonderful man in the world.

 
“Oh Jules. I love you so much.” He leaned down and captured my mouth, his tongue mingled with mine. I felt a zing in my lady parts and I wiggled to relieve some of the pressure.

 
He continued kissing me as he moved me backwards and toward the bed and I took the few seconds he was turning off the movie to divest myself of my pajama top. Ethan turned around, saw me and jerked his own shirt off while I kicked away my pants and panties.

 
Ethan was going too slowly for my taste so I reached over to unsnap his jeans. “Hurry.”

 
He listened to me and unsnapped his jeans, whipping them off in a flash. I took the opportunity to climb up on the bed and kneel in the center. Ethan followed me up seconds later. We were pressed together and I could feel the hairs on his legs against my thighs. I felt myself grow wetter, if that was possible. I didn’t resist as Ethan pushed me down on the bed with my head on the pillows, I just opened my legs and wrapped them around Ethan. Ethan dragged his finger up my slit and I shivered. I needed him desperately.

 
He bent his head as if her were going to go down on me and I stopped him. “No time. I need you inside me now.

 
Ethan gave me a smile that reminded me of a pirate and positioned himself at my entrance. I was just about to grab his ass and force him inside of me when he did it himself. For a second I felt like I would black out. It felt that good, but I regained my equilibrium a second later as he moved me over and started thrusting in and out of me. It didn’t take long for my orgasm to overtake me and the next thing I knew Ethan was holding my waist and nudging me.

 
“Flip over.” Now we’re talking. It’s like he was inside my head and knew just what I needed.

 
I moved to my hands and knees and let him angle me until I was filled with him again.

 
“Oh god, Ethan. Hard, I need it
hard
.” In the next breath he was slamming into me as if his life depended on it. I could barely get enough air my gasps were coming so fast. I lifted one hand and rubbed a circle on my clit, coming apart almost immediately before collapsing down onto my face. I was completely spent. Obviously Ethan wasn’t. Before I was even able to turn my head to get air, Ethan was pulling me up and settling me on his lap. I felt fuller than I had ever been, and as hypersensitive as was humanly possible.

 
Ethan grabbed me around the waist and moved me on top of him before I took over and ground myself on him. He came almost instantly and pulled us down onto the pillows with a moan. I tried to get my breathing back to normal while Ethan moved his hand on my hip. I felt
perfect
in that moment.

 
“God, I missed you.” His words, spoken into my hair sent a warm thrill through me.

 
“I missed you, too. I don’t ever want to feel so alone again.” Thinking back to the strangeness of my amnesia made me feel extra grateful that I remembered how important Ethan was to me. He was The One. I knew it in my heart and after my momentary panic on Friday and my little flip out a few minutes ago; I now knew it in my head. I wasn’t scared anymore.

 
“We need to talk. About
it
.” I would have liked to put it off a little longer and wallow in my happiness and satisfaction, but I sighed. I knew he was right.

Chapter Twenty Three

 
I wondered if I should talk first and explain my feelings or if Ethan was going to break the silence. I knew we had to clear the air, so much had happened, and although I had been a little out of it for the past three days, I was fully in control of my mind now. I felt guilty about what I had put Ethan through. Looking at him with full faculties, I could see the strain that my amnesia had had on him. He looked haggard and stressed, even though he seemed a bit better today than he had been yesterday.

 
“Well, I guess I’ll start.” Whew, Ethan was going to break the ice on what I knew was going to be a stressful conversation. “How did you find out about the ring?” I scooted out of his arms and turned myself to face him. He didn’t look angry so that gave me the confidence to tell him the truth.

 
“Elisa told me.” I was not afraid to throw her under the bus. I would trust a thieving one legged hooker before I would trust her again. “She just called me out of the blue and I wouldn’t have answered normally, but I was just finished uploading my latest post and I was distracted thinking about what dishes I wanted to order for dinner that night at the new Thai place. Once I hit the button I was sorry I had done it, but it was too late. She was talking about going on a date with some guy from work and I was just listening and agreeing with her when she told me she had something to tell me in confidence.” I hesitated to share the rest with Ethan. He worked with Elisa and I didn’t want him to have conflict at the office, but I knew he deserved the full story.

 
“She told me that you had told everyone in the office that you had a ring for me and you were going to ask me to marry you. I didn’t say anything for a second because I was so caught off guard, but then she went on and said you had something special planned for me. I told her thanks for the info and hung up. I don’t know how to explain it Ethan, I was here all alone and I just panicked. I thought about the shopping trip that Carrie had strong-armed me into and it all fit. Then I wondered if Elisa was telling me the truth so I went through your desk, sorry.” I felt bad admitting to him how I had invaded his privacy, but he knew already anyway, so I figured I might as well confess everything.

 
“When I couldn’t find anything there I started going through your drawers, and I must say you don’t hide things very well.” Ethan gave me a look that made me feel about ten years old so I went on. “Anyway, I stood there with the box in my hand and my heart was pounding. I was afraid to open it but at the same time I was excited. When I pulled the top back it felt like my heart stopped. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. The green of the stone was like the color of your eyes and all I wanted at that moment was to for you to ask me to marry you.” I closed my eyes and braced myself to finish. “But after a minute I started thinking about being married and it just seemed like the most frightening thing in the world.” I felt bad when I saw the look on his face. I pulled my hand up to his jaw and let it drift down to his chin. I didn’t say anything else, just waited for him to respond to what I’d just told him.

 
“What are you afraid of?” His voice was quiet. I wanted to be able to tell him that I wasn’t afraid anymore but that wasn’t true. I wanted to marry him but I was still scared.

 
“That I won’t be the kind of wife you need. You know that I don’t have any example of how to be a good wife except your mother, and I am definitely not in the same league as Ellen. I can’t entertain people effortlessly like she does, I’m not a good decorator, I mean, since you’ve moved in my house is the most stylish I’ve ever seen it. You know me Ethan. I say the wrong thing at every opportunity, there’s no telling what kind of trouble my mouth will get me into next. If we were married, it would reflect on you.” I would have gone on but Ethan was shaking his head.

 
“You are the kind of wife I
want
, Juliet, and that’s all that matters to me. I don’t want a clone of my mother. I want
you
. I
need
you.” My heart stuttered at his words. They were the most perfect words ever spoken and, oh my god, he was saying them to
me
.

 
I looked into his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips. I was expecting him to propose any second. This was the moment most girls dreamed of their entire lives, myself not included, but I was still waiting anxiously.

 
“Is that why you were acting so weird Friday night?” Those were
so
not the words I had been expecting.

 
“Well, yeah. I mean, I had just been told a huge secret, which, the more I think about it was incredibly hateful of her, ruining your moment and all, and then I was feeling guilty because I went through all of your stuff and found the ring. I was practically bursting. I was feeling all wound up. Then you came home as relaxed as ever and you weren’t acting like you had some big secret then I started second guessing myself.” I would have kept on rambling but Ethan interrupted me.

 
“Okay, I get it, but I have to ask, and don’t lie to me now, do you think you got the amnesia because you didn’t want to marry me?” I opened my mouth to deny it, but he went on. “Seriously Jules, you forgot our entire relationship. You forgot back to before we were ever together.” Crap. He sounded so hurt. I guess he had a point. I did forget it all. What did it mean? I didn’t know what to say so I stayed silent. Heck, I didn’t know why I forgot that particular chunk of my memory, but his explanation sounded reasonable. That made me feel like a lame-o. I liked to think I was a better person than that. God, that’s the kind of thing Mom would do. Ugh.

 
“I’m so sorry Ethan. I don’t know what else to say. I would never have done that on purpose.”

 
“I know, babe.” He sounded like he meant it, but I couldn’t be sure. I was wrong pretty often.

 
“Really, I love you so much. I would
never
want to forget you. You’re the most important thing in my life.” I grabbed his bicep. Hmm. That’s a nice bicep. I shook my head to get back on track.
Focus
Juliet. I realized it was time to put it all on the line. I had to let Ethan know that I was a sure thing. “You are
it
for me.”
 

 
He didn’t say anything to my declaration, but his face seemed to relax as well as the muscles underneath the hand still clutching his arm. That was a good sign, right?