Unforgettable (11 page)

 
Oh my phone! I could get online with it. I looked around before remembering that I had left it in the kitchen. I should go get it. What if I needed to make a call in the middle of the night? What if someone called me? I weighed the pros and cons of going out there. Really, the only con was that I would encounter Ethan. That really wasn’t a con so much as me being a chicken. I needed my phone.

 
I looked at the clock. What? It was only seven fifteen! The time was crawling at a snail’s pace. There was no way I was going to be able to hole up in here for several more hours or until I got sleepy. Inspiration struck! I could go into my office. It was really just the tiny room across the hall, but I had put my desk and old PC in there. I could get online and I wouldn’t even have to venture out to the kitchen.
 

 
I looked around for my robe; it didn’t hurt to have on an extra layer of clothing. I know I threw it on the bed earlier, but it was nowhere to be found. Ethan must have taken it back to the bathroom. Crap.

 
Lucy was still under the covers so I quietly went to the door and peeked out. Yes, I peeked like the coward I was. The coast was clear; I didn’t even hear the TV, so I figured he must be in the kitchen. I was especially glad I decided against getting my phone as I walked across the hall and opened the office door. Double crap! He was sitting at a drafting table that I had never seen before. He looked up at me. At least he had his shirt on now.

 
“Everything okay?” His pencil had stopped moving while he fixed his gaze on me. I felt self-conscious in my baggy faded tee shirt but that only lasted for a moment before my eyes were drawn from him to the walls.

 
Shelves now hugged every visible wall surface, but that’s not what held my attention. The Star Wars dolls looking at me from every direction did that. I blinked to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating but they were still there when I opened my eyes. What the hell was
this
? There were probably a hundred or more dolls still in packages gazing down at me. Everywhere I turned there was more Star Wars memorabilia. I’m talking space ships and light sabers.

 
“What is this?” I gestured around the room.

 
“Rebel Base.” He smiled and looked over his shoulder.

 
I took another step inside, almost afraid of what I’d see. The only thing that I could recognize was my desk, but even that looked different somehow.
Oh my god, he’s a weirdo.
My mind went straight to those freaks that congregate at SciFi conventions. I had never been to his apartment so this new side of him took a moment to absorb. I threw him a glance over my shoulder and he was still beaming proudly.
Geek!

 
“I was just going to get on the computer, but since you’re busy I’ll just go get my phone.” I turned to go but he jumped up off of the stool he had been sitting on.

 
“Wait. You can get on the computer, you won’t be bothering me.” He walked over the desk and turned on a computer. It was not my old PC. This one started up fast.

 
“What happened to my other computer?”

 
“Your laptop? It’s over there.” He pointed to a shelf above a life sized R2D2 where a laptop was sitting.

 
“No, the computer that used to be on my desk. Where is it?”

 
“This is the computer you bought when you started doing your blog. You needed something fast with more power.” Again with the blog. I was going to have to spend a little more time checking it out. I walked over to the desk and sat down. I would have preferred to be alone, but now I was trapped inside a Star Wars fanboy’s wet dream.

 
I decided to ignore the décor and focus on things that I could possibly deal with. “Can you tell me how to get to my site? I’d like to look at it a little closer.” He leaned over and typed in the address and my site popped up quickly. It looked even better on this larger screen. “Thanks.”

 
He sat back down on his stool and I started reading my work. I was engrossed in it in no time. I could hardly believe it was mine. It was something that I would have loved reading if I stumbled across it. I clicked on a link to a cooking segment. My kitchen was suddenly filling the screen. Wow, this was the coolest thing
ever
. The camera zoomed in on me and I started talking about béchamel sauce, and the right way to make it. I felt my chest swell. I was good. I finished that clip and went to the next. I sounded so knowledgeable about chicken scaloppini. Anyone could make it after watching this. I didn’t realize how absorbed I was until I heard Ethan speaking from next to me.

 
“You’re great, aren’t you? You should read the feedback on that episode. It was phenomenal.” He sounded so proud of me. I looked over at him. He was smiling as he watched the video. My stomach flipped over. His smile made him look beautiful. For a second I couldn’t breathe. I quickly turned my face back to the screen so that I didn’t get caught staring at him again.

 
“It’s awesome. I can’t believe it’s me.” We fell back into silence but I was acutely aware of him right beside me. He still smelled fresh from the shower. I decided to breathe with my mouth. I couldn’t chance any adverse reactions. That clip finished and I clicked open beef stroganoff. Mmm. I was getting hungry now. Stroganoff sounded good.

 
“What’s the matter?”

 
“Huh?”

 
“Why are you breathing so loudly?” Oh shoot, I forgot I was breathing through my mouth like some Neanderthal. I quickly took a breath through my nose.

 
“I guess I was just getting excited about the stroganoff.” I tried to play off my panting but I didn’t think he was buying it. I could feel him looking at me and my face started flaming. Again. What is this, the fourth time today?

 
“Are you hungry? It’s been hours since lunch.” I was starving, but I wasn’t going to admit it.

 
“I’m okay; I’ll probably make a sandwich in a little while.” My evil, treacherous stomach decided to growl right then.

 
“You stay here and relax; I’ll make us some sandwiches.” He was up and out the door before I could come up with an excuse for him not to. I felt I finally could relax with him and his aroma no longer next to me.

 
R2D2 was staring at me like he could read my mind so I clicked back to the blog page and started scanning the feedback from my readers. Well, I guess you could call them fans. Holy moly, I have fans! This was way cooler than someone sending compliments back to the kitchen through the server. But I couldn’t get a big head. I didn’t really know how to do this. My future self had fans. Me, not so much. I was still skimming down the page when Ethan came back in with Lucy on his heels. He handed a plate to me. Sandwich, chips and a napkin.

 
“Thank you.” I didn’t want to start scarfing down the food right away so I set it on my lap and picked up a chip. The crunch was thunderous in the small room. I made sure my lips were completely sealed before I continued to chew. Ethan didn’t seem to mind. He sat down on the stool with his plate and started in on his food.

 
I picked up my sandwich without looking at Ethan and turned back to the computer. I didn’t care that I was turning my back on him. A girl can only take so much. We ate in silence uninterrupted by any choking or spilling on my part. I considered that a success.

 
Lucy was begging at my knee so I gave her a piece of my sandwich. She gobbled in down without chewing. I guess she gets it from me. She saw I had no more to give her and went to beg from Ethan. Little traitor. Ethan gave her the last bit of his sandwich, so I stood up to take the plates back to the kitchen.

 
“Are you through with that?” I held out my hand for his plate and he handed it to me.

 
“Thanks babe.” I know he called me “babe” on purpose and it made me stiffen. I turned my head to him, waiting for him to say “sorry” or something but he didn’t. It was like he was challenging me to call him on it. We had an eyeball duel for a few seconds before I broke off, admitting to myself I wasn’t going to say anything. I fled the Star Wars museum and rinsed off the dishes. I kept expecting Ethan to follow me in to the kitchen but he never showed. I noticed that the dishwasher had finished with the load so I emptied it. Still no Ethan. Is it twisted to want him to chase me so that I could knock him back? Well, maybe not knock him back, just discourage him.

 
Maybe I’m just perverse. He had been nothing but kind and supportive of me since the accident. It’s true that I don’t remember being with him like
that
, but I would be lying to myself if I denied being curious. Sure, it now appeared he was a nerd thereby lessening his coolness, but that nerd could kiss.

 
There, I said it. The kiss earlier in the day had been awesome and no amount of blocking it out or pretending it never happened was going to change that. I wanted to kiss him again. Was it wrong to want to kiss him as
this
Juliet as opposed to the one he’s involved with? Because
this
Juliet didn’t have any qualms about seeing where this could go. That future Juliet however was standing in my way.
I
wasn’t who Ethan wanted to kiss, that was future Juliet.

 
God, it’s just too much to handle. Has it only been since yesterday that my whole world had been turned upside down?

 
My phone started ringing in my purse so I pulled it out and looked at the face staring back at me. I didn’t have a clue who it was. It said Elisa, but that didn’t help me at all. I held it until it stopped ringing and went to voicemail. It hit me again that I don’t know what all I’ve missed. She might be my best friend for all I know. I thought about going and asking Ethan, but I didn’t want to feel
that
dependent on him. I just stuck the phone back in my bag and looked around the kitchen.

 
I imagined standing at the island and making my cooking videos. I went over to the refrigerator to read my recipes again. A second later I pressed my head to the freezer door and burst into tears. Obviously, the pressure was getting to me. Why couldn’t I remember? It’s not fair! I have this supposedly perfect life and I can’t even enjoy it. I don’t know how long I stood there crying before I felt arms coming around me.
         

 
“Jules,” he whispered into my ear. He turned me around and pulled me close. I started crying harder. He stroked my hair and all I wanted was to be with him.

 
I tipped my head up. “Kiss me, Ethan.” He hesitated for only a second before he brought his head down to mine. I felt his lips and it was all over as far as I was concerned. I couldn’t get enough of him. His lips, his tongue, and god, his smell. I brought my hands up to pull his head closer to mine while he backed us against the refrigerator. I sucked his bottom lip into mouth and he groaned. I tasted his tongue and felt the heat of his mouth in mine.

 
I made a noise in the back of my throat and after a second he pulled back.

 
“Why are you stopping?” I panted out.

 
“You’re not ready.” He took my hands from the back of his head and placed them at my side.

 
I couldn’t believe he was rejecting me. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

 
“Are you kidding me?” I could barely say the words out loud.

 
“No, I’m so sorry Juliet, but you’re not ready for this. I wish to god you were, but…”

 
“But nothing,” I spat. “I can’t believe you. You’re up in my face all day, but the minute I give you some encouragement you push me away. Fuck you, Ethan.”

 
I shoved past him and ran back to my room but not before my tears started flowing again.

 
I had barely slammed the door behind me when it was thrust back open.

 
“Get out.”