Unfaithful (9 page)

My heart skipped a beat, allowing me to breathe again.

“They’re feelings a human body isn’t capable of containing. My perception no longer depends on imperfect human senses. But you should know that, Gemma. You’ve experienced it yourself.”

I flinched at the memory Evan was evoking. Although I kept it deeply buried, it only took a moment for it to re-emerge: the sensation I’d felt when I’d left my body. I had felt freed of an enormous burden; all my perceptions—even the simple touch of Evan’s hand—were amplified hundreds of times. Every impact was stronger, more vivid, more intense. So that was what Evan must feel.

I nodded in silence, shaken by the revelation.

“When there’s no body to contain them, feelings expand infinitely, like they’re exploding, and they’re a thousand times more intense. It’s like the body’s an obstacle that muffles every sensation, every emotion, every desire.”

I looked into his dark eyes and a new worry made its way to my lips. “How does it work when you’re in human form, like now?” I asked, puzzled.

“For me it’s almost the same. It doesn’t matter what form I’m in. By now I’ve lost my original human body. In
this
body the spirit prevails over the flesh. I can materialize when I want to, but it’s like I no longer belong to this world. I’m made of different matter, as if the spirit can take on corporeal form. It’s hard to explain.”

“No, I get it. That’s why you can be injured but not killed.”

“Exactly. My wounds heal in no time. I think our bodies are made of some supernatural substance that’s more similar to the soul. It looks and feels like flesh but its structure is different—it’s a stronger, indestructible alloy.” He smiled to himself before going on. “So you don’t have to worry about my not feeling the same sensations you do, Gemma.” He moved his face so close to mine it touched my forehead. “Because what I feel is even stronger,” he murmured against my lips before brushing his over them. “Sometimes I’m not even sure I can control it,” he whispered and then swallowed, his Adam’s apple rising and falling.

“What if you decided not to control it? Could you . . .
behave
like a human too? You’re still an Angel,” I insisted, trapped between hesitation and the need to know. I hoped he could see what I was getting at because I really didn’t know how else to ask.

Evan’s lips smiled on mine and the exasperating sensuality of his gaze suddenly became more decisive. He grabbed my hips and pulled me to him, taking my breath away. In a split second my back was flat against the bed, my legs—still bare—trapped beneath him. “Didn’t I make myself clear?” he whispered in a smothered sigh of repressed desire. With one hand he held my wrists and pinned them to the pillow while with the other he pulled me against him so I wouldn’t try to escape the contact to which the only thing stubbornly offering resistance were his jeans.

All control abandoned me as the whirl of arousal I sank further into with each breath swept me away. It was too strong to resist or ignore. I closed my eyes and surrendered as Evan’s soft lips explored my neck. My hands slid under his shirt and he muffled a groan. “You want to send me to hell.”

“You’ve discovered my plan,” I replied, dizzy with desire.

“He wanted to resist, but by that time he’d lost all control.”

“You want to play that game again?” I smiled against his lips. For a moment he fell silent and stroked my belly. My heart exploded in my chest.

“He looked at her with the eyes of one who had never loved before. His hand trembled as it slowly slid under her shirt. Not because he was afraid, but because he feared he wouldn’t be able to stop himself this time.”

“Then don’t stop.”

“
Ahem
. . .”

From the door came the noise of a throat being cleared and we froze. Ginevra.

“Get lost,” Evan growled in exasperation. “We’re kind of busy here in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Ginevra smiled. “Didn’t it cross your mind to close the door? I tried knocking, but evidently you were too busy to hear me.” I could have died from embarrassment. “I’ll leave when I’ve gotten what I want, Evan,” she said, determined, crossing her arms over her chest like a little girl.

“She wants to race,” Evan explained under his breath.

“Well? You promised!” she retorted. Ginevra simply couldn’t handle losing.

Evan shot her a furious look, trying to make her give up the idea. “We’re not going to have a rematch right now, G. Maybe you haven’t realized it, but you’re not the center of the world. I’ve got other things on my mind right now,” he snapped, glaring at her.

“I can see that,” she said, looking at me as Evan shot her a look, begging her to leave. Or, more likely, telepathically ordering her to leave.

The door slammed shut behind Ginevra.

“You shouldn’t have,” I told him, feeling guilty about how he’d treated her. “We can go, if you want.” I hoped he wouldn’t take me seriously.

“You’re more important than a stupid race,” he whispered, moving closer again. “Besides, unless I’m mistaken, we started a conversation, and I don’t like to leave things half-finished.”

I smiled, ready to pick up where we’d left off. “You’re right,” I whispered as his mouth touched my neck, “one should never leave things half-finished.”

“So did you get the answer you wanted?” he murmured against my skin, a sly smile forming on his lips.

“I
think
so,” I began, pretending uncertainty, “but I’m not entirely sure.”

Evan raised my thigh and pinned me against the bed with his body. A shudder surged through me as he kissed me passionately. Suddenly he stopped, still on top of me, and looked me in the eye. “Not a second goes by that I don’t want you, Gemma.”

I nodded, dizzy, my heart thumping against his chest.

“I don’t want to rush you,” he whispered, his hand gently caressing my bare thigh. “Although it feels like I might go insane whenever I touch you.” A frustrated sigh escaped him as he rested his forehead against mine, trying to regain control of his breathing.

I closed my eyes, stunned by what he’d said because I felt the same exact thing. “Then I’d better get dressed now before I risk making you give in to temptation,” I said, teasing.

He shot me an irresistible smile. “People of my bloodline aren’t exactly known for being able to resist temptation. You know, with Eve and all that.”

“God, no! I don’t want to condemn the world to catastrophic reprisals,” I said, laughing with him.

Evan raised himself on his palms, his body suspended over mine, his hands framing my head. His hair hung down and his gaze softened on mine. “Condemn me, then, with a kiss,” he whispered against my lips, “and I’ll be forever damned, if you wish it so, in exchange for that one kiss.”

He touched his lips to mine but I pulled back. “Never would I wish you damned—not for my sake nor any other reason in the world,” I said, playing along, my eyes locked onto his.

“Alas, you condemn me to a far worse torment by denying me your lips,” he went on as I tried to elude him. “Seal our pact with a kiss, my lady, and I’ll willingly accept damnation,” he whispered in the sweetest tones I’d ever heard.

“How could I not indulge such a heartfelt request? Then I condemn you, Evan William James, with this my kiss.” Gently, I rested my lips on his.

Evan looked at me for a long moment, his expression uncertain. “If I’m damned now, can you explain why I feel like I’m in heaven?”

His irresistibly tender gaze made me smile. “I don’t know. I think that kiss condemned both of us because I feel like I’m there too.” I bit my lip, the longing for him to kiss me again making my head spin.

“Did I condemn you?” He withdrew, tormented. “Forgive me, my love, and give me back my damnation.” He kissed me again to take back his pledge, a groan escaping him. “Damn me again, I beg you. The desire for your kisses is too great a pain to bear.”

“And so, just as I damned you, with this kiss I absolve you of your sins. Here.” I kissed him delicately. “Now you are free.”

“Cruel deception! I don’t want to be free!” He grabbed me by the hips and swiftly rolled beneath me, inverting our positions. “I entrust to you my freedom, my queen. Bind me with the chains of love. Kiss me again, I implore you, and I will be your slave,” he whispered, raising his head to kiss me.

I smiled against his lips, considering his offer. “Hmm . . . my slave, huh?” I bit my lower lip, still smiling. “That’s an interesting prospect. But watch out—if you keep saying it I might take you up on it.”

“Romeo, I’m still waiting!” Ginevra reprimanded him from behind the door, making fun of the game he and I often played, improvising reinterpretations of scenes from books.

Evan fell back onto the bed, exasperated. “Unbelievable!” he grumbled. “She never gives up! Can’t a guy have any privacy in this house?” he shouted through the wooden door as I held back a laugh.

“I think you should go,” I said, encouraging him in spite of myself.

“Giving in to her will only make her more stubborn. She needs to learn she’s not the only person here.”

“Come on, Ginevra isn’t that demanding.” Evan shot me a skeptical look. “Okay, maybe a little,” I admitted.

“The problem is she can’t think of anything but herself and her own interests.”

“Guys, I’m right here!” Ginevra exclaimed from behind the door.

“Come on in, Gin,” I called to her, amused.

“Can I? Are you sure? You aren’t naked or anything, are you?” she asked, making me blush, then walked in without giving us the chance to reply because her mind had already read the answer. “Please oh please oh please,” she wheedled, trying to persuade him, her voice theatrical and her big green eyes disarming.

Evan smiled and shook his head, his answer the same. “You know I love you but I can’t, really, G. It’s already nine o’clock.”

I glanced nervously at the clock, surprised it was already so late. “You’d better take me home. My mom and dad will be back soon and you know how my dad gets when I come home too late.”

Ignoring Ginevra, Evan inched closer to my lips, resuming the tormented mask he’d worn a moment ago. “What affliction you cause me by depriving me of your presence,” he whispered, stroking my cheek.

“Oh God!” Ginevra groaned, rolling her eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother? I’d better leave you two alone.” She turned her back on us.

“You’ll have to go through three centuries of PDAs before we’re even. I’ve had to put up with a whole lot worse. In case you’ve never realized it, you and Simon are as inseparable as doughnuts and icing.”

“Ha ha, very funny!” she responded sarcastically. “I hope I’m the icing! Or do I seem more like the doughnut to you?”

Trying not to laugh, I decided to intervene before the room caught fire. “Believe me, you look nothing like a doughnut.”

“Thank you, sister.” She winked at me and left the room.

“She’s hopeless,” Evan said, a smile on his face, resting his hands on my waist.

“Yeah, but it’s impossible not to love her.”

“That’s true too,” he said, still lying underneath me.

“Can’t you stop time?” I whined, refusing to let him go. “You’re an Angel, you should be able to do that.”

Evan smiled and squeezed his eyes shut. “Here, let me try.” He screwed up his face, tightening every muscle as I watched with bated breath. Then he opened one eye and peeked at me. “Did it stop?”

He raised an eyebrow and I hit him with the pillow. “You’re a clown, you know that? When are you ever going to stop teasing me?”

Evan let out a laugh and pinned me beneath him again, his gaze becoming tender as he kissed me. “I really
did
try,” he said, hiding a grin.

“Yeah, right. Well, we’d better go before my dad comes to take me home by force.”

“I’ll take you, though it’ll be hard to be away from you tonight.” He locked eyes with me, serious again.

I instantly knew what he meant. “So you were being serious. You have to—”

Evan tightened his lips, confirming my fears. “I can’t get out of it.”

“Okay, don’t say any more.” I didn’t want him to go into detail. That dark aspect of his life gave me the shivers. Evan wouldn’t be spending the night with me. He wouldn’t be joining me in my dreams because while I was sleeping, somewhere out there—who knew where or how far away—someone else would lose their life. By Evan’s hand.

Another shiver, cold and unexpected, froze my heart. All it took was a wave of Evan’s hand to extinguish a life—and yet it wasn’t his fault at all. Fate moved the strings in our lives while he carried out orders like a soldier. So why did that aspect of him still scare me so much? Why couldn’t I accept that it was life taking its natural course? I knew the answer, no matter how hard I tried not to think about it. Deep in my heart, I was still afraid of the moment when someone would come for me. Another Reaper Angel like Faust. Or like Evan. Sometimes it seemed impossible that the shadow of death lurked in the depths of his gaze and the warmth of his touch. And yet neither he nor any other Subterranean decided whose time had come. The fact that I’d survived certainly didn’t give me the right to judge them. I owed my life to Evan; he was the one who’d forged a path that diverged from the fate I’d had in store for me. I had no right to judge his dark side just because it scared me.

“Hey.” Evan snapped me out of my thoughts. “Everything okay?”

“It’s just— Will you be gone all night?”

Evan slowly slid his hand up my sleeve and pulled off the elastic band I wore around my forearm, claiming it as his own. He held it tightly in his hand and looked at me. “Yes, unfortunately, but you’ll find me when you wake up. I’ll stop by and take you to school. Now get dressed.” A light kiss on the lips. “I’ll go down and get the bike ready.”

I nodded regretfully as I watched him walk out the door.