Unending Love (7 page)

“Hide from
what
, Addie?” he whispered.
“What are you hiding from?”

She burst into soft tears and shook her head. 
He thought perhaps she wouldn’t answer him but after a few moments, she began
to speak.

“I am hiding from fools like the ap Athoe
brothers and Eynsford du Lesseps,” she wept. “I am hiding from the lords who
would see me in the halls of Winchester and send me secret messages that were
intercepted by servants who then spread vicious rumors.  I am hiding from the
wives of those lords who would slap me in public or tear my surcoat in church
and call it an accident.  I am hiding from maidens that were supposed to be my
friends but when attractive suitors would call upon me, these same maidens
would steal from me or break my hair combs, or refuse to talk to me and cause
me to eat my meals alone. Someone even cut my hair one night when I was
sleeping; they cut off the bottom of one of my braids and I had to cut my hair
to even it out.  I am hiding from all of these horrible people, Maddoc, and I
will not allow you to judge me for what I feel nor stop me from what I feel I
must do.  If I want to join the cloister to remove myself from these terrible
things, then I will do so.”

She was wiping her face furiously by the time
she was finished, angry and heartbroken tears coursing down her cheeks. Maddoc
sat still and silent against the wall, letting her vent, feeling overwhelming
sadness for her.  It was probably more than she told her mother and
grandmother, embarrassing and painful things to tell. He sighed heavily.

“I am so sorry,” he murmured. “It sounds as if
you bore the brunt of some very mean and petty actions. Is that why you came
home?”

She nodded, wiping at her wet chin. “I withstood
it for three years,” she said, finally looking up at him. “Three long years of
abuse until I could stand it no longer. I had hoped to secure a high position
at court, perhaps even a lady in waiting to the queen, but that dream will
never know fruition. Everything I wished and worked for is in ruins.”

Maddoc watched her face, feeling so very sorry
for her. God, how he wished he could have protected her or helped her.  Poor
Adalind didn’t deserve any of what had evidently been dealt her.

“You know why they did it, do you not?” he asked
quietly.

Sniffling, she eyed him with confusion. “Because
they hated me.”

“That is on a small part of it, I am sure. But
there is a greater reason.”

“What is that?”

He smiled faintly. “Because they are jealous,”
he said. “Look at you; I have never seen a more beautiful woman and I am quite
certain I am not the only one to have noticed your beauty.  All of these women
you speak of are simply jealous. You have something they will never have and
they will punish you for it.  It is envy, pure and simple.”

The words from his lips warmed her, eased her
sorrow.  Still, she knew he was saying it out of kindness. Perhaps he really
didn’t mean any of it. He was simply trying to make her feel better. Averting
her gaze, she wiped the last of the tears from her face.

“You are very sweet to try and ease me,” she
said, “but you do not have to say such things.  It does not matter why those
things happened, only that they did.  But I would appreciate it if you did not
tell anyone.  It is my shame to bear.”

“I will take the information to my grave,” he assured
her. “But I did not tell you those things simply to ease you. I told you
because they were the truth.”

She shrugged.  Then she cast him a side-long
glance, a weak grin on her face. “You have never said such things to me
before,” she said. “Have you grown so foolish in your old age?”

He snorted. “I have grown wise beyond measure,”
he told her, smiling. “What a fool I was to resist you those years ago.”

“That is your misfortune.”

“More than you know,” he agreed, eyeing her. “Is
it too late to consider that marriage proposal you presented to me when you
were eleven years of age?”

She laughed softly, displaying her pretty white
teeth. “You must be getting desperate,” she said, rising to her knees and
brushing off the straw. “As I recall, you never had any shortage of female
admirers.  Grandfather used to say that there was a star in the sky….”

He cut her off, finishing for her. “For every
heart I have broken,” he pretended to be annoyed as she giggled. “Perhaps I
resisted you all of those years just to throw you off of my true intentions
towards you.  I did not want to make such an easy conquest.”

She laughed out loud as she began to make her
way out of the stable. “You have no true intentions towards me, Maddoc du Bois,”
she said, glancing behind her as he followed. “Stop teasing me. You will only
break my heart again and I do not think I can stand it.”

The night outside the stables was cool and misty
as they emerged from the stable.  Adalind immediately wrapped her arms around
her torso, chilled, as they headed off towards the keep.  Maddoc took her elbow
politely, escorting her, but at some point he realized he had hold of her
because he wanted to.  He probably should have let her go at that point but he
didn’t want to; he knew he would miss the feel of her in his hand. 

“It was never my intention to break your heart,
you know,” he said softly, his gaze moving about the posts up on the parapets
that were being set for the night. “You must remember that I was rather young at
the time as well.”

She cast him a side-long glance, a smile playing
on her lips. “And you were therefore completely ignorant of women?”

“Absolutely.”

“But now you are not. You are wisened and
experienced.”

He shrugged with some hesitance. “Wisened, yes.
But I am not entirely sure about experienced.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am a busy man. A woman takes time and
I’ve none to spare these days.”

“Surely you must have spared time for your
wife.”

He nodded. “I did, but I had no choice. She was
my wife and by virtue of that station deserved my attention.”

Adalind fell silent as they crossed the darkened
bailey, drawing closer to the keep.  She was interested in his wife, this
mysterious woman who had held the one thing in life Adalind had ever wanted - she’d
had Maddoc.  She tried to be careful in her approach.

“What was she like?” she asked after a moment.

He was thoughtful. “She was very well bred,” he
replied. “She was well educated and spoke appropriately. She had been
well-schooled in how to behave for a husband.”

“But what was she
like
? Was she humorous?
A shrew?”

He grinned. “I am not entirely sure I know,” he
said softly.  “It seemed to me… well, it seemed to me at times that she was
simply doing what she was told to do, as I was. I cannot say there was any
affection in our marriage. Simply duty.”

She gave him a disapproving expression. “Did you
even
try
to get to know her? Perhaps she was a very nice woman.”

He could see she was mostly teasing him. “Of
course I tried,” he insisted weakly. “But I am afraid to tell you the rest.”

“Why?”

“Because you might become angry with me. This I
could not abide.”

She fought off a grin. “I will not become angry
with you.”

“Swear it?”

“Tell me, you coward, before I become angry.”

He tried not to laugh. “Very well,” he said.
“She was a very plain woman with a plain personality.  She cried for three
hours after we first met. She saw me as a fear, as a duty, and nothing more.
When she became pregnant, she wept nearly the entire time, every day, so I
mostly tried to stay away from her. Any sight of me greatly upset her.  In
hindsight, I do not think I was a very good husband to her, although I did try.
She simply wanted nothing to do with me.”

Adalind paused as they reached the wooden stairs
that led up into the keep.  Her eyes glittered warmly at him.

“She was a fool, then,” she said softy, a smile
on her lips. “I am glad I was not here to see it.”

“See what?”

“Her indifference. You deserve a woman who will
worship everything about you.  I am afraid I might have had to slap some sense
into her.”

A smile spread across his lips as he looked at
her. “You are my champion, then?”

She nodded firmly and turned for the keep. “If I
cannot have you, then I will make sure whoever has you is well aware of your
worth.”

The smile faded from his face as he watched her
take the steps.
If I cannot have you
. Those words had never bothered him
until this moment. Now, they bothered him a great deal. In fact, the past two
days had seen to destroy every notion he’d ever had about Adalind de Aston. He
was coming to feel like the annoying little girl from the past and this
glorious creature in front of him were two different women. Had he only just
met Adalind, as the magnificent beauty in front of him, he would have pursued
her in an instant. He’d never pursued a woman in his life, although he’d had
ample opportunity. Therefore, this was all uncharted territory for him and he
was vastly uncertain.   

“My lady,” he called to her.

Adalind turned to look at him. He was standing
at the bottom of the steps, partially shrouded by the darkness of the night.

“Aye?”

He paused before answering and his insecurity was
evident.  The usually confident knight seemed uneasy.

“I would ask that you reconsider committing
yourself to the cloister,” he said quietly. “You never know what opportunities
will be presented to you. You would not want to do anything in haste.”

Adalind visibly sobered. “Perhaps,” she said,
not particularly noticing how uneasy he seemed. She was thinking of her own
future, or lack thereof. “I appreciate your concern, Maddoc. Thank you for
lending your ear.”

“Always, my lady,” he said softly as he turned
away. “For you, always.”

Adalind wished the soft tone he used equated to
interest in her, but she knew better. With a sad sigh, she entered the keep.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age-old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.

CHAPTER
FOUR

Adalind didn’t sleep very well that night. 
Whenever she closed her eyes she had visions of Maddoc.  Although the two of
them had many conversations over the course of the years, they had never had a
conversation like the one they’d had in the stables.  The kind and polite
knight she had known all these years had somehow turned warm and deep.  It only
made her love him more, now with a love borne from an adult woman’s heart and
not a child’s.  She fell in love with qualities she didn’t know he had. 
Her
[J8]
 
heart ached for him more than she could bear.

Consequently, she woke up exhausted and grumpy. 
Her sister tried to talk to her, as did her mother and grandmother, Emilie, but
she didn’t want to speak of such things.  She didn’t want to speak of Eynsford,
or Maddoc, or anything else. She simply wanted to be left alone, which is what
she told her mother and sister in a fit of angry tears, so they left her alone
for the most part. They understood Adalind was dealing with a great many things
and it was necessary to be patient with her.  If, and when, she needed an ear
to listen, they would be there for her.

After the nooning meal, the hall in the keep was
silent for the most part as the occupants of the castle went about their
business. The main level of the keep housed the hall, her grandmother and
grandfather’s private chamber, along with a small receiving room for her
grandmother and a solar for her grandfather.  As far as keeps went, it was a
very large one, and it was a fairly simple thing to gain some privacy.

Adalind sat in her grandmother’s receiving room
working on an embroidery loom. She had started the piece yesterday, sketching
out a scene of hummingbird and flowers with charcoal on the fine piece of
linen.  She was quite an accomplished artist, drawing and painting beautifully,
and she was also very accomplished in her sewing. Her years of fostering had
seen to that and, fortunately, she had a talent for it.  It was an escape as
well as a hobby, and she had been quietly doing her work since the early
morning hours.  Everyone had stayed clear of her as if she carried the plague.

David wasn’t unaware of the situation with his
granddaughter.  He had seen what had happened yesterday when she had exploded
at du Lesseps, but he had wisely stayed away as her mother and sister and
grandmother attempted to comfort her, only to be pushed away.  Du Bois was the
only one who seemed to be able to communicate with her and, not surprisingly,
ease her, which was causing David to closely watch the interaction between the
two. Adalind was fragile and he didn’t want Maddoc’s well-meaning attempts to
give the girl false hope.

David had been in his solar since early morning
as well, having received word from his brother, the powerful Earl of Hereford
and Worcester, that one of their allies along the Welsh Marches was being
harried by a Welsh prince who was gaining some momentum.  Christopher de Lohr
had stopped short of asking his brother for immediate assistance, but he had
put him on notice.  Canterbury carried almost a thousand men and David was sure
his brother would request three-quarters of that number.