Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) (54 page)

             
“David; how are you?” Amanda offered him a hug.

             
“Good; I moved off to granola country; I live in San Francisco now.”

             
“Granola country; that’s funny,” Amanda laughed.

             
“Some nice but strange folks around there.”

             
“How are you, David?” Troy greeted his old friend.

             
“Good; you?”

             
“I’m great. Sam and I are getting married in a couple of months.”

             
“Hey, congratulations! I’m still waiting to meet the right woman. Now what doesn’t make sense?” David queried.

             
“Cade leaving Amanda,” Troy offered.

             
“What?” David frowned at Amanda.

             
“Her father and brother ran him off and she hasn’t heard from him since,” Samantha explained.

             
“That doesn’t make sense. I knew the night he beat the hell out of Chris that Cade was in love with you, Amanda,” David looked truly perplexed.

             
“Obviously we were all wrong,” Amanda shrugged. “I’ve moved on; life happens,” Amanda assured him.

             
“I’m sorry to hear that, Amanda,” David looked troubled.

             
“Thanks.”

             
“I see Jenny finally got her man,” David was smiling now.

             
“You knew?” Amanda smiled at him quizzically as Troy and Sam excused themselves to say hi to the others.

             
“Yeah, Jenny and I had fun together but we were both interested in other people.”             

             
“That’s a little odd,” Amanda informed him.

             
“Nah, it was easier than sitting around alone,” David shrugged.

             
“I guess I can see that,” she mused as she recalled her own experience with Kevin.

             
“I know my timing is probably terrible, but I am only in town for a couple of days; could I take you to dinner?” David requested.

             
Amanda laughed nervously. “Wow, um,” she watched Reece approach, Cadey-Lynn in his arms and felt relief wash over her. “David, I would like you to meet Reece Foster; Reece this is David Lewis. Reece and I are dating,” Amanda explained.

             
“Right, sorry; I should have realized you would be seeing someone,” David nodded.

             
“This is my daughter, Cadey-Lynn,” Amanda added.

             
She watched David survey Cadey-Lynn with a frown.

             
“Cade left knowing you were carrying his child?” David looked confused now.

             
“No; he didn’t know about Cadey-Lynn,” Amanda informed him.

             
David shook his head, his expression confused. He glanced between her and Reece and seemed to reconsider whatever had had been about to say.

             
“Good luck to you, Mandy. It was nice to meet you, Reece,” David, his expression was still baffled, nodded and hurried off.

             
“What was that about?” Reece asked her.

             
“I hadn’t seen David in years; he didn’t know about everything,” Amanda shrugged.

             
“Did I hear him ask you out?” Reece was watching her closely.

             
“Yeah,” Amanda reached for her daughter. “I see Cadey-Lynn made it back to her favorite person,” she teased to change the subject. The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly enough but her encounter with David had left her shaken. That night she wrote:

             
Cade,

             
   Today several of my old classmates met in the park for an unofficial reunion; Chloe organized it. I hadn’t seen several of them since that night Jason invited us all to his grandparent’s place. I still smile when I think about that night. It was so nice to see everyone today and yet it was difficult too. Many of them met Cadey-Lynn for the first time. Not a single person asked who her father is; not one. Instead they all seemed puzzled that you were gone. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one except that it only confuses me more. I’m supposed to be moving on; I’m dating for crying out loud! I don’t need to start this round of questioning again! I have to stop writing in here; I have to quit clinging to dreams. This is reality; what I’m living. You’re gone, I have a daughter to raise, and I can’t stagnate here waiting for nothing. I still miss you, I still miss you.

Thirty-Five

              Amanda lay on her couch, trying to hold her eyes open. Reece was on his way over and Cadey-Lynn had just gone to bed for the night. It had been a busy day on the ranch, Amanda running back and forth between the various activities that had been carried out that day. Amanda could feel the chill in the night air, suggesting that fall was already here and winter would follow shortly. The seasons were brilliant in Montana, though with the exception of winter, short lived. Amanda felt her lids droop again and questioned the wisdom of inviting Reece over. It was the last conscious thought she had before she heard her name being called.

             
“Amanda,” There was a light touch on her shoulder.

             
Amanda felt awareness slowly returning and took a deep breath; a familiar scent filled her senses. Cade’s cologne overwhelmed her causing her to sit upright and startle the rest of the way awake.

             
“You alright, Amanda?” Reece was watching her closely.

             
Amanda frowned at him. She had dreamt it; no she could still smell his cologne.

             
“Amanda, sweetie, are you alright?” Reece came to squat beside the couch.

             
It was Reece.

             
“Are you wearing new cologne?” Amanda demanded.

             
“Yeah, my sister sent it to me. You don’t like it?” Reece’s gray eyes were dark with worry. “What’s wrong?”

             
Amanda closed her eyes; she felt like a complete idiot. As she took a deep steadying breath she also breathed in the familiar scent and memories assaulted her, memories that she had managed to keep buried for months now. Cade teaching her to drive, doctoring her knee, carrying her safely into her house the night of prom, making love to her in this very house. Amanda shook her head and opened her eyes.

             
“Talk to me, Amanda,” Reece demanded.

             
“I’m sorry, Reece. I don’t mean to be all weird on you,” she offered a weak smile.

             
“So I’m guessing that this is the same cologne he wore?”

             
“Yes, and I was asleep and it really threw me for a loop. I’m sorry, Reece; really. I’m okay,” Amanda placed her feet on the floor and forced a smile.

             
“I’m sorry, Amanda.”

             
“Nothing to be sorry for,” she assured him.

             
“You are exhausted, Amanda; I’m going home and I’ll call you tomorrow,” Reece kissed her forehead.

             
“No, Reece, I’m fine.”

             
“You are exhausted; I can see it in your eyes. Get some rest, Amanda.”

             
“Thanks, Reece,” Amanda smiled for real.

             
After he had left Amanda locked up and turned the lights off in the lower part of the house before closing herself in her room. She felt shaken and fidgety. She finally grabbed her journal and sat down.

             
Cade,

     It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written. I told myself that I was dispensing with this habit but sometimes it is the only way I can make sense of the crazy emotions that swirl around inside me. Things have been going so well between Reece and me. I even met his family a few weeks ago. Tonight he arrived wearing the same cologne you
always wore. Memories poured over me so strong that I could hardly breathe. When do memories lose their sting? How long does it take to come to that place where you no longer feel sad from loss? I wish I knew; I wish I didn’t still hurt when I remember you. I’ve told our daughter all about you. She says good night to your photo every night. I wish I could speak to you once more so maybe I could understand. God help me I still miss you and I still love you.

____________________________________________________

             
Amanda apologized to Reece again the next day and invited him to supper. She shoved aside the memories that had been let loose to rampage through her mind and emotions and was able to laugh and talk and by the end of the evening decided she was going to be okay. As Reece kissed her goodbye she could again feel him pull back when he preferred not to. She closed the door behind him and moved around the cabin in slow motion as her thoughts swirled and chased themselves. Her steps were slow on the treads. By the time she had reached the top of the stairs she had reached a decision.              

             
The next day, Amanda crossed the yard to the big house and let herself inside. Naomi still helped with the cooking and cleaning but was taking things much slower these days, as her arthritis was prone to acting up as the weather cooled and then turned cold.

             
Amanda found Jenny in the kitchen loading the dishwasher while Angie slept in her swing. 

             
“Hey, Mandy,” Jenny greeted with a smile.

             
“Hey, Jenny,” Amanda set Cadey-Lynn on her feet.

             
“Aun’ N’omi,” Cadey-Lynn took off in search of her great aunt. Amanda let her go, knowing her aunt was in her room and that Cadey-Lynn would look there first.

             
“Could you watch Cadey-Lynn overnight tomorrow night?” Amanda queried and watched her friend turn to lean against the counter; her expression was curious.

             
“Of course; why?”

             
“I have something I need to do.”

             
“Okay, that tells me a lot. I don’t like the look in your eye, Amanda; what’s up?” Jenny looked concerned now.

             
“I just have something I need to do. You think I’d do something rash?” Amanda demanded with a self-mocking smile.

             
“Uh, yeah; I do!” Jenny laughed.

             
“I know what I’m doing,” Amanda promised her friend.

             
“I hope so, Mandy.”

             
“How are you today, Jenny?”

             
“I’m fine. How are
you
?” Jenny closed the dishwasher and started it.

             
“I’m better than I have been in a while; I really am.”

             
“I’m glad,” Jenny still looked concerned.

             
“I’ve got to run to town. I guess I should get Cadey-Lynn and be on my way,” Amanda stood.

             
“Leave Cadey-Lynn and pick her up when you get back,” Jenny offered and then went to hug her friend.

             
“I love you like the sister you truly are now, Mandy. Promise me you won’t do anything you’ll regret?” Jenny whispered.

             
“I won’t,” Amanda promised and then turned to let Cadey-Lynn know she would be back in a little while. Amanda spent a couple of hours buying the things she needed to carry out her plan before returning to the ranch and throwing herself into work.              

             
That night she dreamt of Cade, of their night together in the room she now slept in. She woke the next morning with tears dried on her face. She washed her face, dressed her daughter, and resolutely moved forward with her day. That afternoon she took a long shower, dressed and packed Cadey-Lynn’s bag.

             
“You look nice,” Jenny noted when Amanda dropped Cadey-Lynn off. Amanda wore pair of fitted jeans, a nice top, and her boots, her hair was carefully straightened and make up perfect.

             
“Thanks.”

             
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Jenny demanded as she eyed her friend.

             
“Positive. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Amanda promised. She hurried to her jeep and drove across town to Reece’s place; her nerves were starting to kick in by the time she arrived. She wiped her hands on her jeans before ringing the doorbell.