Under My Skin (Skin Deep) (18 page)

Chapter 20

It’d been two days since I’d gone home and slept for the first time since Jackson’s accident. Two days that had gone by with no change. Chloe had apologized to me when I’d walked into the room the next morning. She’d been frantic with worry that she’d pissed me off beyond forgiveness for talking to me like that, but she’d explained she just wanted me to get at least one good night’s sleep. I forgave her for it…I understood her motive and, now that I look back on it, I was pretty impressed that she was that forceful.

I was alone with
Jackson…it wasn’t that I hadn’t been alone with him before, but this time…I was feeling a little frantic. They’d been talking again. Talking about things that I didn’t want to talk about, because that could not happen. COULD NOT!

I’d been talking to him every day but today, now, I felt like I was racing against time and there was so much I needed to tell him. It poured out of me and I couldn’t have stopped it if I wanted to.

“Jackson, you’ve been gone for way too long. I need you…I need you to open your eyes and come back to me, to us. WE need you…all of us.” I cleared my throat.

“Especially me. I love you, Jackson. I love you with every breath in my body, and I need you to hear this. I need to hear how much you mean to me…because you are everything.
Everything
! But it’s not even all about me. Your mom is here, Jacks, and she misses you like crazy. I met her finally, and I love her to pieces. She’s great, but she’d have to be because of how great YOU are. But you would get that from her, but…”

I shook my head, disgusted with my own ramblings when there was so much else left to say. “Anyway, I just needed you to hear how much I love you. You’ve shown me how much you love me, and I can’t thank you enough for that. And if that’s what I have to live on for the rest of my life- the memories of your love- then I’ll live the rest of my life knowing what it was to be truly loved, and I’ll be thankful for that.”

My voice cracked as emotion clogged my throat. Tears filled my eyes and began streaming down my cheeks as I continued pouring my heart out to the silent form lying so still in front of me. “Oh God, Jacks…I just…I can’t do this without you. You need to wake up! WAKE UP!” I sobbed, my words echoing in the room.

“I- there’s more- and-” I started, haltingly. And then I said the words that I’d been keeping bottled up inside. The words that I had wanted to say while looking into those deep brown eyes that I love so much, while that dimple that makes me weak in the knees flashed with that smile I’d give anything to see again. “I’m pregnant,
Jackson.”

A choked gasp came from the doorway and I jerked my gaze up to see
Brandon standing there, a shocked but rueful expression on his face.

I stood quickly, reaching out for him, stumbling over the words to make him understand why I hadn’t told him, especially given the fact that we were together… “
Brandon, I’m so so sorry…I wanted to tell you but I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything with things so up in the air about Jacks-”

He cut me off, as he’s been doing quite a bit lately. “Allie, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I understand.” He ran his hand over his hair agitatedly, blowing out a breath. “You know that no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you, right? For you and the baby?”

“Yes, but Brandon, it’s-”

“I know it’s his,” he cut in again.

“How did you…what?” I stuttered then flushed as I realized that he knew exactly the same way I did.

“Force of habit, baby. I always wore a condom, he didn’t.” He froze and then backpedaled, not wanting me to get the wrong impression. “It’s not that I never wanted to go without, or that he always did go without, I know that he didn’t. But with me, it’s just, like I said, a force of habit. I’ve never gone without one with anyone…not under any circumstances. Well, with you there was a couple times that I…you know.”

I nodded…yeah, I knew. But it was never in a place that he’d get me pregnant. I sat down in the chair beside Jackson’s bed again.

Brandon
crossed the room and knelt beside me, grabbing my chin and forcing me to meet his gaze. “Things are going to be okay. I swear it. Regardless of what happens.” He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead before gathering me in his arms, holding tight when the dam burst again.

I cried for what seemed like an eternity, soaking his shirt with my tears until I couldn’t cry anymore, only small, hiccupping sobs remaining. I finally pulled away from him, murmuring an apology when he got to his feet slowly, his poor knees obviously killing him from kneeling on the linoleum floor like that for so long.

A nurse bustled in and shot me a look of sympathy as she took in my tear-stained face and obviously bedraggled appearance. “Need anything, honey?” she asked me as she passed, moving to check the machines beeping around the bed and the man lying in it.

“No, thank you. I’m good,” I said.

She finished her check-up and patted first me, then Brandon, on the arm as she passed by. “I’ll be back in a while to check on him again. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” With a kind smile, she walked out the door, leaving us alone again.

I sighed and glanced up at
Brandon again. “Want to sit with me for a while?” I asked him.

He smiled and nodded before grabbing the other chair in the room and pulling it over beside me. He sat and reached out to pat
Jackson’s good leg. “Hey, man,” he said to him. Then he looked at me as he said, “You know, you’re a lucky bastard, Jackson. And by lucky I mean that you have gorgeous woman sitting here bawling her eyes out over you because she loves you so much and because you knocked her up.”

He winked at me and continued, this time looking at
Jackson as he spoke. “But you gotta wake up, man. You kid is gonna need someone to teach him all that fancy house building shit you do so he can build a killer tattoo shop to work in on the side.”

I giggled at that, reaching out to take
Brandon’s hand in one of mine and Jackson’s with the other.

“But no, really, man. We miss you. So come home, buddy.” The last words sounded choked and he cleared his throat.

He glanced back at me and I gave him a watery smile. “Allie,” he said tentatively, “Are you happy? About the baby, I mean?”

I blew out a breath and nodded, placing my other hand protectively over my belly. “I really am,
Brandon. I was shocked at first, but…I’m going to be a mom. And I’m going to love him or her with all my heart. WE will.”

He nodded, clasping my hand a little tighter. We didn’t say much after that, just sat in silence with his hand resting on
Jackson’s leg while I held their hands in each of mine, lost in our own thoughts.

And then I felt it. A tiny little flutter against my hand.

I sat up, jerking my hand out of Brandon’s and clasping both of them around Jackson’s good one. I held my breath, willing it to happen again. Brandon started to ask me what was wrong but stopped when I shook my head rapidly not to speak.

There! Again! I grinned, the waterworks starting again as I turned to
Brandon excitedly saying, “He moved! His hand-it MOVED!”

Brandon
jumped up and raced from the room as I pleaded with Jackson to move his fingers again, to wake up, open his eyes, anything! In a second he was back, nurse in tow. She moved around the bed quickly, checking his monitors, his vitals, and then gently opening each of his eyelids to shine a light into his eyes to check reaction.

There was no real reaction from
Jackson until she shined the light into his second eye and he gave the slightest flinch. She looked over at me and then Brandon, grinning as she said, “I’ll call the doctor.” She rushed out of the room again and I laughed as Brandon came over to me, grabbed me up and kissed me quickly, grinning at me like a kid on Christmas day.

“I’m gonna go call his mom and everyone,” he said.

I turned back to look at Jackson and gasped, tears pouring freely down my face as I looked into deep brown eyes…eyes that were open and looking at me.

“Ohmigod, ohmigod, OHMIGOD! Thank fuck! Oh, Jesus, you’re awake!
JACKSON!” I cried, squeezing his hand in mine and leaning down to kiss his fingers. I could feel my hands shaking around his…hell, my whole body was shaking. I let go with one of my hands and reached for the call button, frantically telling the nurse who answered, “He’s awake! His eyes are open!”

I heard footsteps running in the hallway outside the room and all of sudden there was frantic movement everywhere as people flooded in. Nurses and doctors surrounded the bed and I was pushed back a little, my grip on
Jackson’s hand coming loose. I stepped back, not really wanting to lose that connection with him, but knowing that I was in the way, and watched as they asked questions, poked, prodded, and wrote notes.

Brandon
skidded back into the room and came to me saying, breathlessly, “They’re all on the way. I called your parents and they’re coming, too.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, leaning against him as we watched, waiting to hear some kind of information out of the cluster of white coats and scrubs. Bits and pieces of conversation floated by us;
‘pupil reaction good…eyes clear…lungs sound good…let’s try taking him off the vent…good…good…
’

Finally, one of the doctors stepped back to talk to us. Before he could say anything, though, Sarah and Chloe came rushing through the door, Emma, Luke, and my parents hot on their heels. Damn, they’d gotten here fast!

“Okay, folks. I’m Dr. Michaels. I’ve examined Mr. Matthews and have some good news. Yes, he did, in fact, wake up from his coma and I’m confident we’re on the road to recovery. So far his lungs sound good and we’re taking him off the ventilator; the puncture has healed very nicely with no complications as far as I can tell. We’ll do some scans to be sure, though. We’re going to keep a close eye on him to see if there are any lasting effects from the head trauma; we’ve been rather worried about the slowing of his brain activity, but only time and testing will tell what we’re dealing with.”

He glanced around at everyone and said, “Since he’s just waking up, we’ll let you all see him briefly, two at a time, and then we’ll be taking him to get started on running the tests and scans. Try not to excite him or we’ll have to kick you all out. Okay?”

We all nodded and Sarah asked a few questions of the doctor as I sidled away from the group, moving closer to the bed. I could see Jackson’s eyes searching the room and they widened when they landed on my face. One of the nurses followed his eyes and motioned me over. I went, taking his hand in mine once more, and smiling like crazy when he gave it a small squeeze.

And just like that, my world began to right itself…

The last few days had been crazy since Jackson woke up and he was definitely on the mend. They’d moved him out of ICU last night, and so far everything was checking out great; no lasting brain damage or anything, the cast on his leg was getting ready to come off.  He wasn’t one hundred percent, but he was alive and that’s more than I could ask for.

He was getting restless, but then again, who wouldn’t? He’d already been told that he’d need to do some therapy just to get back up to speed from being out for so long, but he didn’t bat an eye at it; he’d only asked when he could start. I hadn’t told him the news yet about the baby…but I think it might be about time. Brandon and I had been sitting there talking to him for a while, Emma and Luke had just left, and Sarah and Chloe were on their way. I hadn’t told anyone else just yet; I wanted to tell
Jackson first. I took a deep breath and grabbed for Brandon’s hand. He held it, bringing it up to his lips for a kiss, and then nodded at me to go ahead.

“So…” I began, not really sure how to approach the subject.

“That sounds serious,” Jackson quipped, a smile quirking the corner of his full, kissable lips.

“Well, it is…sort of.” I sighed and decided to just blurt it out. “I’m pregnant.”

Jackson shifted in his bed, straightening up a bit, and then fiddling with the blanket. “That’s…wow. Are you…is it a good thing? I mean, how do we…?”

Brandon
took pity on him and clapped him on his shoulder. “Dude…it’s a good thing. She’s happy, we’re happy, you’re gonna be a dad, man!”

Jackson
caught my eyes, his brows raising in question. I nodded and he grinned, then hooted loudly and reached for me, capturing my face between his palms when I moved toward him, kissing me gently. When he finally let me go, I turned to Brandon and my smile slipped when I saw the sadness in his eyes. It was gone so fast that I wondered if I was mistaken, but my gut said I wasn’t.

Jackson
’s voice broke into my thoughts. “How far along are you?” he asked excitedly.

I smiled at him and answered, “About a month and a half, two months? I found out the day…” My smile fell and my words trailed off. The day of the accident was the day I’d found out at the doctor’s office Emma had dragged me to.

His smile faded and a look of concern replaced it. “Allie, baby, I’m so sorry!” he said quietly.

I gasped and smacked his arm lightly. “No! You don’t apologize! It wasn’t your fault and you know it!”

He nodded, but I could still see the regret and sadness swimming in his gaze. I clapped my hands together and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, isn’t it about time for your sponge bath?”