Under His Guard (29 page)

He came a moment later with shivers and jerks and thrusts that powered his come inside of me, where I wanted to capture it. Leon's arms trembled. His throat corded. His mouth fell open. He was so stunning my heart stopped.

When he dropped on top of me, I wrapped all the way around him as I had while we'd made love. Every sated moan pulled him more fully into my heart.

“Sticky,” he murmured.

“Do you care?” I kissed the top of his head and then wiggled down so we could be face-to-face.

“No. Feels good.”

Our hearts knocked against each other, our pulses still racing. I kissed his fingers, then his palm, then his lips. I caressed his spent cock gently, waiting for the whimper he breathed out.

“Lie down, my love.”

With his eyes closed, his arms and legs spread from one end of the bed to the other, he seemed to be asleep when I returned with a warm, wet cloth to clean him up. He mumbled sleepily with a smile. He laughed outright when I jumped onto the bed, sending the washcloth sailing somewhere across the room.

I kissed his chest, rubbing my lips over his heart, which boomed in response. “I want you to be mine.”

“
Mmm
. I am.”

I nipped his chin. “I want you to marry me, be my forevermore.”

Still sleepy, he caught his lip between his teeth without opening his eyes. “Bein' impulsive? You?”

I took his face in my hands. “I'm not being impulsive.”

Hearing the serious tone of my voice, he slid his eyelids open. He wound one leg around mine to bring me back against him. “I am yours, forever. You know dat. Don' need a ceremony.”

“I want one,” I rumbled.

His breath hitched. “I don' want it to be too soon for you,
cher
.”

Dammit
. When had my
impulsive
man become so fucking annoyingly wise?

“It's not because of our circumstances, if that's what you're wondering, Leon.”

“Je sais.”

“Then?”

“I think you need more time.” His tranquil smile absorbed all my frustration.

Gone was the impetuous kid who'd caught my attention and held it fast for nearly a year. The man beside me wasn't rash. He wasn't totally reckless.

He was smart, sure, confident…and sexy as hell. He'd been reborn, the same as me.

We weren't going anywhere, and I had all the time in the world to woo him.

L
eon was strangely old-fashioned in his ideas about courtship. I liked it. Though we lived together, slept together, and made the most mind-blowing love, he wouldn't agree to marry me, not yet. Finally, my man had realized his worth. Not as a pawn in play, not as a rent boy paid for, not as my relief from a troubled past.

It'd taken him so long to become this self-assured man, there was no fucking way I'd overstep the boundaries he set.

I took him to the lake, where we sat on the shore at sunset with old ceramic mugs of hot cocoa in our hands. We spent afternoons beneath the autumn sun in the meadow, colorful wildflowers the only witnesses to our picnics and kisses. Our hikes outside the commune were filled with the wonder of being able to enjoy the bounty of Mother Nature instead of looking over our shoulders every time a twig snapped. In those moments, during all those days, Leon became the most precious gift in my life. We didn't need anything grand. Holding hands, listening to him whistle and hum, sneaking off for a kiss that would lead to much more in bed later…all those small details of life in love grounded me to this existence, bound me to this man.

Leon packed his guns away for good—we hoped—along with his past as a hustler. He began working in the school with Kamber. The kids followed him around the village, seeking his easygoing attention, and when he turned that attention on anyone—on me—he invested every bit of feeling fizzing through him.

He was, without doubt, singularly captivating.

The more I thought about it, the more I understood. He wasn't ready yet. He needed to be his own man first before he could fully be mine. And Leon needed to be certain he was the one person I wanted above all others. I redoubled my mission to make sure he knew how much I cherished him, honored him, and respected him.

Fall went from cool nights and mornings to days of crunchy, ground-covering hoarfrost. The apple harvest was reaped. The war we'd fought so recently seemed so very far away but remained present in our thoughts.

Just like our relationship, the restoration of the liberated Territories took its first baby steps during the months of September and October. The InterNations League was born, a worldwide representative group that mirrored the smaller geographical coalitions. Created from elected officials who came from the Territories, the communes, and the Reformed Corps in equal measures, they hammered out a functioning democracy. Our world was to be integrated on all levels.

The artifacts recovered from staunch government strongholds and top-tier CO mansions—the music, art, and literature that had been banned decades ago—found new homes in buildings being made into museums and libraries open to all and on the airwaves that were no longer controlled by the government. Instead of becoming obsolete, the D-Ps sang with life, news, and novel information.

Jobs were not appointed but applied for. Education took a more personal turn, where children weren't forced into a calling early on. History and future, fact and feeling all mingled into one burgeoning InterNations movement.

That didn't mean our new world was a utopia. Far from it. Every day a new batch of problems cropped up like weeds in the field. But the field was fertile. The new leaders of one united government tangled with the infrastructure issues of military and police, judicial and legal, agriculture, health care, and education.

Above all, there was hope for a better future, for us, for our children, for the generations all over the world to come. The overwhelming spirit of a valiant people, the survivors of near total annihilation, guided us.

Of course, some of our core group would soon be pulled away to take on new responsibilities.

I carried a handful of late-autumn blossoms to the Chitamauga cemetery, making my quiet rounds to my mother's and to Tammerick's and Wilde's markers. I touched each headstone with reverence. Since I realized how much I loved Leon, my mind was unclouded and clear as the bright blue day.

I was thinking about my father, the man I'd never met, when another father walked into the graveyard. He headed to a far corner with one flower tucked in the hand curled around a little baby enclosed in his arms.

Cannon and Liberty.

I didn't want to startle him; nor did I want to interrupt him. I moved cautiously toward them.

“This is your momma, Jonquil. We bring her flowers every Sunday because she liked bright things, as bright as you, Libby.” He ducked his head to the pale yellow knit cap that covered a sweet ring of black curls. He kissed her rosy cheek and she reached up, patting his face. When he frowned, it was less fearsome than before.

“'Course, you could try to take it a little easy on me and your other daddy and let us go to bed at the same time.”

I stifled a laugh and the patch of ground beneath my boots crackled. Cannon pivoted around, covering Liberty's head with his arms. Seeing me, he settled back on the cold ground.

“Sorry, man,” I said.

“The old reflexes are hard to forget.”

“I hear that.” I grabbed my own seat of frosty grass beside him. “We had some bad times out there.”

Cannon tucked Libby beneath his chin, covering her ears with the yellow hat. “We don't talk about the war in front of Libby.”

“You do understand Auntie Liz will have her holstered up by the time she's ten.”

“Not in this new era.”

“So you're an idealist as well as a romantic.”

He snorted in disagreement and then nodded. Libby was hugging his thumb with her round pink fist. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Liz and Linc have to head out soon?”

“They think so.” His mouth hardened. “I think everyone should just stay put.”

I pointed my finger at him. “Idealist.”

“Idiot. Fu—I mean, eff you.”

I'd taken on a new role as active war turned to rebuilding—I was a military adviser and aide. Likewise, Cannon had opted to keep with his Corps training. Nathaniel worked most of his days with Hatch as they sought new ways to smooth over old fears with technological advancements. Both Cannon and Nathaniel were staying in Chitamauga, although they'd travel as needed for training to help any way they could.

Denver, who knew most of CEO Cutler's secrets, had been called to testify against the biggest war criminal who ever was at Cutler's posthumous trial. With our signed affidavits for his character, he hadn't been charged, but he was required to fill in a hell of a lot of blanks.

Once that obligation was fulfilled, he was taking Sebastian on a trip to FarAsia.

Farrow and Val both would spread their time between Beta Territory and Delta. Val, important in the medical field, would continue to work on pharmaceuticals and vaccinations for the good of the people. Farrow had already been appointed a coalition adviser.

Darwin would return to Alpha. Although she daily lamented her lack of boyfriend material, it was common knowledge she'd won over one of our commune men's hearts with her sharp wit and perhaps a talent for more than just the mechanics of engines…

It was Liz and Linc who weighed most heavily on my mind. There would never be another single InterNations ruler, but Linc needed to put his face out there, show people how to lead, take up a politician's life. They were readying to depart to Beta. Both would be profoundly involved in all aspects of ongoing reform.

I'd miss them more than most.

“I asked Leon to be my husband as soon as we got back here.”

“And you call me the romantic.” Cannon showed no surprise at all. “It's not a mistake, you know. I loved before, too. Just the one. I'm not greedy like you.”

“Says the man with the baby in his arms.”

“She's even more beautiful than Blondie, isn't she?” His voice softened with wistfulness before he laid a glare on me. “Are you wooing him?”

“Yes, I'm wooing him.” I fell back to the grass where the morning's frost bit into my jacket.

He covered Liberty's ears with cupped hands. “I mean with more than your cock.”

“If there was any more
wooing
of that kind going on, I'd be limping. I'm dating him. I'm courting him. I'm being careful but not
careful
with him.” I dragged an arm over my face, muffling the next words. “What if I can't be what he needs?”

“Darke, he only needs you.”

“I want to have the ceremony before the others leave the commune.”

“Well, maybe a little bird told me he's coming around.”

“You've been talking to him?” I careened up.

“Nope.”

“Who? Liz?”

“Yup. And Farrow. And Bas…”

“Fuckers. All of you.”

“Dude, language. Little pitchers have small…
ah shit…
I can't remember. Let's just try not to swear around Libby.”

“I believe the sayin' is
little pitchers have big ears
, big man,” Nathaniel said, striding over. He leaned over to kiss Cannon and then his daughter, whom he retrieved from Cannon's arms. “Hey there, gorgeous.”

Her bell-like laugh was half gurgle, half bubbles.

“You sweet, sweet thing. Now we gotta talk about this stayin' up all hours of the night. Papa Cas needs some sleep. And don't be goin' all precious on me, sweetheart. You try usin' those dimples against Uncle Linc. Now, he's the one you gotta charm.”

Listening to Nathaniel talk to his baby girl leveled my heart.

“Would you like to hold her?” Nathaniel asked. Libby's aqua-blue eyes locked on mine, luminous with amusement.

“No.”

Nathaniel pressed her into my arms.

“I said no.”

“We're not on a mission, so I don't have to listen to ya. Besides, she's met Uncle Leon and she needs to meet Uncle Darke.”

“Fuck.”

“I won't tell her grandmama you said that,” Nathaniel drawled with a wink.

Curling my arms around Liberty's small body gave new meaning to fragility. Nevertheless, she kicked her bootie-covered feet free of the blankets and squirmed with vitality.

“She's lively.”

“I know.” Cannon's forehead crinkled. “Wait till you try changing a diaper on a moving target.”

“You're a little hoyden, aren't you?” Keeping her in my hands was like handling a live grenade.

“A hoyden?” Cannon asked.

“A firebrand. Sassy,” I explained.

“That about covers it.” Cannon chuckled.

Nathaniel lifted the little princess from my arms and snuggled her against his shoulder. “How's she been this mornin'?” he asked.

Cannon's gaze skipped between his husband and their daughter. “Um, five by five. And possibly soiled.”

Nathaniel smiled. “How are you, big man? You were up half the night with her.” The loving look passed between the two of them clashed into something hotter.

Their need snapped the air into a tight band.

“I could take Liberty for the afternoon,” I offered.

As soon as the words left my mouth, they began grilling me as if I were taking on the entire Corps Elite on my own.

“Do you know how to swaddle?” Cannon peered at my large hands.

“Nope.”

“Warm a bottle?” Nathaniel bounced Libby in his arms.

“Probably.”

“Please tell me you can sing a frickin' lullaby, because I really want to fuck Blondie right now.” Cannon stamped to his feet.

“Can do,” I assured them.

Having no idea what to do with the baby, I took her sightseeing through the commune on our way to Leon's and my caravan. Her sparkling eyes took in everything from cardinals in flight to falling red leaves. This little girl was going to be so much trouble.

Her pack of bottles, binkies, blankies, and nappies was almost heavier than my rucksack of socks, boots, ammo, and guns. I dropped it on the table inside the caravan and took her to the chair.

It didn't rock, but I did, in slow motion. Liberty broke free of her blankets, and the odor that hit me made my nose curl.
Possibly soiled
. If I could, I'd put Cannon back on manure duty for this. Libby was all over the place once I freed her of the swaddling. I had to hook her delicate ankles in the fingers of one hand and sing to her to make her stay put until I changed her diaper. After she was cleaned up, I decided to tell her a bedtime story, about what the world would be like when she grew up.

“There'll be an environmental rebirth, Territory green spaces.”

Her face pinched tight as if she'd sucked on a lemon. I eased back in the chair, holding her on my legs, where she could squirm at will, free from all blankets.

“Now, that's going to screw your face up, Liberty. It's all good, okay? You just gotta listen to your daddies. They know what they're doing.”

I popped a bottle between her rosebud lips for good measure, and she sucked the milk down with a hearty appetite I approved of. “You don't know yet how lucky you are to be born in world completely different from the one I grew up in. But you will.

“Life will have changed for all of us. It already has. Access to new technologies and medical advancements. In return, we'll exchange our knowledge of the land and husbandry. You'll get to choose how you want to live and who you want to live with.”

Liberty's features relaxed as she toyed with my hand. I talked softly and slowly so as not to startle any more cries from this wild and weird creature.

“You shouldn't be scared, Libby. Change is good. Even if curious city dwellers come to our haven. The new roads will bring them. Those highways will tempt our people away, too, though I reckon not so many.” She spat out the nipple of the bottle once it was emptied of milk and I placed it aside. “You know this is a special place, Chitamauga, where we work hard and love even harder.”

I lifted her to my shoulder to coax a burp from her as I'd seen Leon do. When her soft cheek rested against my shoulder, I whispered the final truth of her wonderful future to her. “You, Liberty, are a symbol of hope and the new tidings of a new world.”