Uncorked (25 page)

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Authors: Marco Pasanella

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BABIES & KIDS

We haven’t all the good

fortune to be ladies; we have

not all been generals, or poets

or statesmen; but when the

toast works down to the babies

we stand on common ground.

We’ve all been babies.


MARK TWAIN

A baby will make love

stronger, days shorter, nights

longer, bankroll smaller, home

happier, clothes shabbier, the

past forgotten, and the future

worth living for.

BIRTHDAYS

Time marches on!

Now tell the truth—Where did you find

The fountain of youth?

Another candle on your cake?

Well, that’s no cause to pout.

Be glad that you have strength enough

To blow the damn thing out.

BUSINESS

In matters of style, swim with

the current. In matters of

principle, stand like a rock.


THOMAS JEFFERSON

Here’s what my lawyer taught
me—

Say it with flowers,

Say it with eats,

Say it with kisses,

Say it with sweets,

Say it with jewelry,

Say it with drink,

But be careful, never, never say
it with ink.

FOR ANY OCCASION

Here’s to you with a glass full of bubbles

To blow away all your troubles.

Three be the things I shall never attain,

Envy, content, and sufficient champagne!


DOROTHY PARKER

HEALTH

To your good health, old

friend, may you live for a

thousand years, and I be there

to count them.

—ROBERT SMITH SURTEES

Here’s to your health,

You make age curious, time furious

And all of us envious.

HOLIDAYS

Be at war with your vices, at

peace with your neighbors,

and let every year find you a

better man.

—BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

May all your troubles during
the coming year be as
short as your New Year’s
resolutions.

I have known many,

Liked not a few,

Loved only one,

Here’s to you!

Here’s to those who’d love us,

If we only cared;

Here’s to those we’d love,

If we only dared;

Here’s to one and only one,

And may that one be he

Who loves but one and only one,

And may that one be me.

WEDDINGS

Here’s to the health of the happy pair,

May good luck meet them everywhere,

And may each day of wedded bliss,

Be always as sweet as this.

May your wedding night be like a kitchen table,

Four legs and no drawers!


IRISH SAYING

A NOTE ON WEDDING TOASTS

Toasts are offered once all the guests have been seated and have been served their drinks. At less formal gatherings, toasts should be offered after everyone has gone through the receiving line and been served a drink. At a large wedding, it may be more practical to do most of the toasting at the rehearsal dinner rather than at the wedding reception. In either case, toasts generally are offered to the bride and groom, beginning with the best man. The groom then responds with a toast of thanks. Other toasts may follow in this order: fathers, beginning with the father of the bride; mothers, beginning with the mother of the bride; groom to the bride; bride to the groom.

TOASTING TIPS

Offer a toast to the guest of honor only after the host has had the opportunity to do so.

Never toast when you are drunker than your fellow guests. What you find hilarious may be offensive to the less inebriated.

Be yourself and be sincere. Chances are, your dinner partners either know you and like you or want to.

Fill your glass with anything other than water, at least according to my superstitious Italian stepmother. Pause to let the others refill their glasses.

Stand up, but don’t bang a spoon on your glass unless you’re a teenager or want to risk shattering someone’s good crystal. The toastee should remain seated.

Introduce yourself and speak slowly, clearly, and as loudly as if you were talking to your hard-of-hearing grandmother.

Hold your glass in your right hand when proposing the toast and raise the glass toward the person you are toasting when you are finished. Europeans expect to be looked in the eye as a sign of your sincerity. At small tables, clink every glass after the toast. To avoid bad luck, be careful not to cross arms with another person.

Conclude by raising your glass and saying “Cheers!” (see
this page
for how to say “Cheers!” in many languages).

If you choose to wing it, remember:

Humor is good, humiliation is not. Keep the toast clean and appropriate, avoiding inside jokes and potentially embarrassing sentiments.

The toast should be no more than a minute or two. It’s a toast, not an Oscar speech, and it’s not about you.

CHEERS! (IN TWENTY-SEVEN LANGUAGES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER)

Arabic: Shereve! Hanya Bismallah!

Armenian: Genatsoot!

Basque: Osasuna!

Cantonese: Gom bui!

Czech: Na zdraví!

Danish: Skål!

Estonian: Terviseks!

French: Santé!

German: Prost!

Hebrew: L’Chayim!

Italian: Salute!

Japanese: Kanpai!

Korean: Guhn-bae!

Latin: Sanitas bona!

Nigerian: Mogba!

Oriya: Chitta!

Portuguese: Saúde!

Quechua: Ukyaykusun!

Russian: Vashe zdorovie!

Spanish: Salud!

Thai: Chokdee!

Ukranian: Bud’mo!

Vietnamese: Chúc mung!

Welsh: Lechyd da!

Xhosa: Impilo!

Yiddish: Mazel tov!

Zulu: Oogy wawa

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I BELIEVE THAT THANKS
are a lot like toasts: Be brief, be direct, and tell the truth. So here goes:

I thank my agent, David Kuhn, whose idea it was to write this book (as well as his wise and cheerful colleagues Jessi Cimafonte and Billy Strickland). I thank Doris Cooper and Lauren Shakely at Clarkson Potter for believing Mr. Kuhn. Even greater thanks go to my editor, Emily Takoudes, for her unerringly sage counsel and apparently limitless patience. Thanks too to Emily’s assistant, Hilary Sims.

I’d also like to express my gratitude to my friends Enrico Bonetti and Francesca Forcella, who selflessly collaborated on much of the “research” required for a book on drinking wine; thanks too to Tom Molner and Andy Brimmer, who have also been sassy and enthusiastic volunteers.
Grazie
as well to Fabio Ercolini and Sabrina Puccetti, with whom I have treasured friendships lubricated by good food and wine. David Shipley deserves thanks for encouraging me to write (after recusing himself) the op-ed piece on New York’s crazy wine laws, which came to the attention of David Kuhn. Thanks (and love) also to Jodie Foster, who continues to show me how to be fearless even when
terrified. Huge and bottomless gratitude to my pal Will Schwalbe, who, in addition to being the smartest man I know, is modest, encouraging, and, above all, a true and cherished friend. My thanks also to David Cheng, Will’s partner, who has patiently sat through more chatter about this project than anyone deserves.

There could be no book on wine without winemakers. I would like to thank all whom I have mentioned in these pages (Fabio Burlotto; Laura Collobiano and her oenologist, Saverio Petrilli; Luca D’Attoma; Alessandro Mori; Stephane and Mireille Tissot) as well as many others who continue to inspire me with their dedication. I would like to extend a special thanks to our winemaker, Roland Krebser, as well as to Klaus Egger and Elodie. Also worthy of appreciation are the importers, distributors, and sales reps driven by similar passion. In particular, I wish to acknowledge Bradley Alan, Guglielmo Mattiello, and Neal Rosenthal.

A store is only as good as the people who work there, and with few exceptions, we have been blessed. I’d like to thank all the people who work and have worked here, especially Suzanne Zudiker, John Lahart, and, of course, Ryan Ibsen. Similarly, there would be no store without customers and neighbors, so a big
grazie
to all of them. Also included in my thoughts are our former neighbors, the fish merchants, especially Vinnie and Frank Fogliano, who embraced a stranger in their midst with open arms.

My greatest thanks go to my family: to my father, my mother, my brother, and Lisetta, without whom I never would have discovered the connection between wine and my dreams. Above all, I want to express my love and gratitude to my wife, Becky, who makes me feel like a better version of myself and with whom I share the greatest joy in my life, our son Luca.

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