Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader (69 page)

FOLDABLE FAMILY PANEL COOK KIT

Problem:
In many developing countries it is increasingly difficult to obtain fuel—mostly wood or coal—for cooking. How can people cook without fuel?

Simple Solution:
A solar-powered oven

Explanation:
Roger Bernard and Barbara Kerr of Solar Cookers International (SCI) developed such an oven, and the best part is that anybody can make one. For decades they have been doing workshops for families in impoverished villages, providing the materials and know-how to make solar ovens. The materials: some cardboard, aluminum foil, glue, and a plastic bag (an oven cooking bag works best). The oven really works, too. Even on partly sunny days, it will reach 300°F. Meat, beans, rice, vegetables, breads, and other foods can be cooked without using any fuel. It takes longer than conventional ovens (although for many dishes and on sunny days it doesn’t), but the benefits outweigh this drawback. Another plus: Put the food in the solar oven, go about your day, and come back later—the solar cooker won’t burn your food, it will just keep it hot.

First pilot ever to fly a loop-the-loop: Lincoln Beachy, on Nov. 18, 1913 (San Diego).

ADAPTIVE EYECARE

Problem:
In 2002 the World Health Organization estimated that one billion people around the world who needed eyeglasses could not get them. In the African nation of Ghana alone, there were only 50 opticians for a population of 20 million. Poor eyesight means difficulties in reading, education, and employment. Without enough doctors, how can people get the glasses they need?

Simple Solution:
Universal, adjustable eyeglasses

Explanation:
In 1996 Oxford professor Dr. Joshua Silver started Adaptive Eyecare. After years of research, he had invented glasses with lenses that were filled with a clear silicon oil. A small pump on the frame changes the amount of oil in the lenses, thus altering their curvature. (The pump is removed after the adjustment.) That means that as a person’s sight deteriorates over time, they don’t have to go find an optician—they simply turn a knob until their vision is in focus, and voilà! A new pair of glasses! And each lens can be adjusted separately. The glasses are universal, since anyone can adjust them to their own eyes, which keeps manufacturing costs down. The glasses are sold to nonprofit groups and governments around the world, keeping with Dr. Silver’s goal of improving the vision of the world’s poorest people.

*        *        *

WEIRD TALES OF THE STAGE

The Bluebird
is a classic play about two children who go searching for the Bluebird of Happiness. A designer at a midwestern theater thought it would be a great idea to have
real
bluebirds fly around the theater at the end of the play. So he sprayed pigeons with blue paint and put them in little cages hanging above the audience. Apparently no one ever considered what the paint, combined with the heat from the lights, might do to the birds. On opening night, the cages were opened at the end of the show…showering a horrified audience with hundreds of dead “bluebirds.”

The Chinese were the first to use a decimal system, in the sixth century B.C.

FOUNDING (
hic!
) FATHERS

Before they were (hic) alcoholic beverages, (hic) they were people (hic) who made alcoholic beverages (hic
).

J
OHN WALKER

Background:
In 1820, at age 15, Walker started working in his father’s grocery, wine, and spirit store in Kilmarnock, Scotland. Unhappy with the inconsistencies in the barrels of whiskey, he set out to refine the process. Walker soon became known throughout Scotland for his technique of blending single malt whiskies.

Famous Name:
Walker’s son Alexander joined him in 1856 and began marketing Walker’s Kilmarnock Whisky in England and Australia, and later in the United States. In 1908 the company name was changed as a tribute to its founder, Johnnie Walker.

DON FACUNDO BACARDI MASSÓ

Background:
Born in Spain, Don Facundo emigrated to Cuba around 1830. There he discovered rum—a harsh “firewater” popular among pirates. A cultured man, Don Facundo made it his goal to create a smoother version that could be served in fine restaurants.

Famous Name:
It took more than 30 years of experimenting with every step of the manufacturing process, but in 1862, Don Facundo perfected it and introduced Bacardi Rum. The family still runs the business today using the same secret technique created by Don Facundo 140 years ago.

JASPER NEWTON DANIEL

Background:
He was born in Tennessee in 1850, the youngest of 13 children, and ran away when he was only six years old. Little Jasper ended up living with a neighbor named Dan Call and earned his keep by helping him make moonshine whiskey. In 1863 Call sold his still to Jasper, who was then only 13.

Famous Name:
Known as Jack, Jasper Daniel had a knack for making—and selling—whiskey, and distributed it to both sides during the Civil War. He used his war profits to build a real distillery.

A slight man at 5'2" and 120 pounds, Daniel relied on his personality as much as the quality of his whiskey to make sales. He always wore a mustache and goatee, a planter’s hat, and a knee-length frock coat. He never appeared in public without his “costume.” When postwar liquor laws changed, Daniel was the first man to register a distillery in the United States, which he called Jack Daniel Distillery No. 1.

Percent of the cost of a 12-ounce bottle of beer that goes to federal and state taxes: 43.

JOSÉ ANTONIO DE CUERVO

Background:
Sent by the king of Spain, in 1758 José de Cuervo traveled to a small town in central Mexico. There he began cultivating the agave plant, which for thousands of years had been fermented by the indigenous peoples into a beverage known as
mezcal
. De Cuervo produced a more refined version of the liquor, which took on the name of the town in which it was made…Tequila.

Famous Name:
His descendants have been producing it ever since, and have become one of Mexico’s richest and most respected families. But it wasn’t until the turn of the 20th century that Cuervo-produced tequila began to carry the name José Cuervo.

PETER SMIRNOFF

Background:
Peter Smirnoff’s first batch of vodka came out of his still in 1864. Over the next 15 years, he became famous throughout Russia and in 1886 was named the royal distiller of Czar Alexander III. By 1900 Smirnoff was producing a million bottles of vodka per day.

Famous Name:
One of Smirnoff’s suppliers, Rudolph Kunett, fled Russia when the czar was overthrown and purchased the rights to sell Smirnoff vodka in the United States. The only problem: no one bought it—the vodka had a reputation as a harsh liquor that led to a bad hangover. Kunett finally gave up and sold his Connecticut distillery to G. F Hublein and Company in 1939. Part of the deal included the last 2,000 bottles of vodka. But they had no vodka corks left, so company president John Martin decided to put whiskey corks on them instead. That changed everything. In the South, a salesman sampled it, loved it, and came up with a new slogan: “Smirnoff’s White Whiskey. No Taste. No Smell.” It sold out. Why? Fewer people were drinking straight liquor in those days—they wanted something that could be mixed. So Martin resumed the vodka production, advertising it as a mixer. Today it’s the bestselling liquor in the United States.

The ocean sunfish produces up to 30 million eggs at a single spawning.

THE CAT’S MEOW

We’ve done a lot of quote pages about dogs in past
Bathroom Readers.
Now, it’s time for cats to have their day
.

“After scolding one’s cat, one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”

—Charlotte Gray

“If a cat spoke, it would say things like, ‘Hey, I don’t see the problem here.’”

—Roy Blount, Jr.

“If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.”

—Nan Porter

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.”

—Hippolyte Taine

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you later.”

—Mary Bly

“Cats keep their cool, no matter what. Even when they do things like fall or lose their balance, they’ll walk away with an attitude that seems to say, ‘I meant to do that.’”

—Michael Jordan

“Whether they be the musician cats in my band or the real cats of the world, they all got style.”

—Ray Charles

“If cats seem distant and aloof it is because this is not their native planet—they are here just to visit and dominate.”

—Hank Roll

“To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction—and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by.”

—Stephen Baker

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.”

—Dereke Bruce

“You may own a cat, but cannot govern one.”

—Kate Sanborn

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”

—Leonardo da Vinci

Scaredy cat? Charles Lindbergh carried a Felix the Cat doll with him on his famous flight.

BRAINTEASERS

Uncle John emerged from “the brainroom” giving these puzzles three thumbs up—one thumb for being fun, one thumb for being challenging, and one thumb for “I just learned something.” (We still can’t figure out where he got the extra thumb.) Answers on
page 498
.

1.
You’re sitting on a bus. The kid next to you has a helium-filled balloon. She lets go of the balloon and it ends up against the ceiling, just about in the center of the bus. The driver suddenly hits the gas pedal and the bus lurches forward, throwing you back into your seat. What does the balloon do?

a)
It moves backward.
b)
It moves forward.
c)
It stays where it is.

2.
How can you make the following equation correct without changing it:

8 + 8 = 91

3
. You place an empty glass on one side of a balance scale and a one-pound weight on the other side. Then you fill the glass with water until the two sides are perfectly balanced. Now you put your finger down into the water without touching the glass. It makes the water level in the glass rise, but it doesn’t overflow. What happens to the scale?

a)
The glass side goes up.
b)
The glass side goes down.
c)
It holds still.

4.
You’re sitting in a boat in a swimming pool. You have a large anchor in the boat. You drop the anchor into the water, and, of course, it sinks immediately. What happens to the water level in the pool?

a)
It goes up.
b)
It goes down.
c)
It stays the same.

5.
Try to solve this in your head: Take 1,000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1,000. Now add 30. And another 1,000. Now add 20. Now add another 1,000. Now add 10. What’s the total?

Ask Virginia Woolf: Three percent of all English surnames are derived from animal names.

THE BIGGER THEY ARE…

Sometimes making big business decisions means making big blunders, as these folks found out
.

B
AD APPLE

In 1988 Apple Computers hired a small computer company from Virginia called Quantum Computer Services to develop an online service for their customers. It was to be called AppleLink Personal Edition and was set to come out in 1989. But before Quantum could launch the service, Apple changed their minds and terminated their contract. Bad idea. Quantum had negotiated in their contract that if Apple let them go, they got to keep the technology. They launched the service themselves in late 1989, with a new name…America Online.

STAR WARS: THE PUBLISHER’S MENACE

British book publisher Dorling Kindersley saw sales of its
Star Wars
books rise dramatically after the release of the movie
The Phantom Menace
in 1999. Elated company execs quickly ordered a huge printing for the Christmas sales season—and sold a whopping 3 million copies. The only problem—they had printed 13 million copies. Loss: $22.4 million. In January 2000, the already debt-plagued company admitted the mistake and CEO James Middle-hurst resigned. In March, the once-prosperous worldwide publisher was sold to media giant Pearson. (
Note
: Ten million books would make a stack more than 150 miles high.)

A TOBACCO COMPANY TELLS THE TRUTH!

In 2001 tobacco giant Philip Morris did a study of the effects of cigarette smoking for the leaders of the Czech Republic. The report they issued touted the “positive effects” that smoking has for government. It shortens people’s lives, they said, which means lower costs for pensions, housing, and health care for the elderly. The details of the report were supposed to be private, but somehow the press got hold of them and made them public. Result: A major public relations blow to a company that had just spent $100 million to boost its image. Philip Morris issued an apology to the Czech people and then canceled plans to make similar reports in four other nations.