Uncle John’s Facts to Annoy Your Teacher Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! (8 page)

4.
High concentrations of volcanic rocks cause the strange events. (Not true—volcanic rocks can’t alter gravity.)

THE EXPLANATION?

The debate has raged for years. True believers always point to magnetic abnormalities, or even the supernatural. But most people think the tricks at the Vortex are just optical illusions. The House of Mystery is likely a tilted house at a strange incline on a hill. The floor, walls, and ceiling are built at sloping angles to trick people’s brains into thinking everything looks crooked and distorted.

Studies show: The three most dangerous foods to eat in a car are coffee, tacos, and chili.

There are similar “mystery spots” all over the United States. Almost all of them (like the Oregon Vortex) opened in the 1930s as cheap roadside attraction to thrill Depression-era travelers. Most of them have a similar hook: single-room shacks on a hillside that are “beyond the realm of science.” Check out one near you…if you dare:

•
The Mystery Spot: Santa Cruz, California

•
Confusion Hill: Piercy, California

•
The Mystery Spot: St. Ignace, Michigan

•
The Mystery Hill: Marblehead, Ohio

•
The Mystery Shack: Maggie Valley, North Carolina

•
Spook Hill: Lake Wales, Florida

•
Cosmos of the Black Hills: Rapid City, South Dakota

•
Gravity Hill: Bedford County, Pennsylvania

*      *      *

COWBOY PROVERB

Never dig for water under an outhouse.

First job: Patrick Dempsey of
Grey’s Anatomy
worked as a unicycle-riding clown.

Want to go looking for treasure? Well, ye pirate, here’s one of the Caribbean’s most notorious stashes. So attach your peg leg, raise your Jolly Roger, and cast off
!

S
EEKING:
55 chests of silver and gold

LAST SEEN ON…
Norman Island in the British Virgin Islands, which some people say was the setting for Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel
Treasure Island
.

THE LEGEND:
In 1750, a ship called
Nuestra Senora de Guádelope
was bound for Spain and carrying a fortune in gold, silver, and spices. Somewhere in the Atlantic, either the crew mutinied or pirates took over—no one knows for sure—and half of the cargo was lost at sea. Englishman Owen Lloyd, a member of the
Guádelope’s
crew, stole the other half, loaded it onto his own ship, and sailed 1,000 miles to the British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean Sea.

Lloyd and his cohorts stashed chests of gold and silver on the uninhabited Norman Island, named after a pirate who retired there with his spoils in the early 1700s. But Lloyd never got a chance to do that—he and his gang were captured before they could retrieve the goods.

Red is forbidden at Chinese funerals because it is the color of happiness.

People on nearby Tortola Island saw Lloyd’s ship and heard his buddies brag about the hidden booty. So the locals put two and two together and rushed to Norman Island. They discovered the loot, but the British government soon found them and took the treasure.

But did they find all of it? Around 1910, a fisherman caught in a storm took shelter in a cave on Norman Island. Waves slammed his boat against the rocks all night. Local legend claims that he woke up the next morning to find chunks of rock in his boat along with a surprise—a small chest of gold coins. He never officially reported the discovery, so the story can’t be confirmed. But people who live nearby believe the man used the money to open several tourist shops around town. So treasure-seekers still travel to the area and continue the hunt for the remaining chests.

To read about more sunken treasure, steer your ship over to
page 97
.

Charles Darwin was born on the same day as Abraham Lincoln—February 12, 1809.

If you meet some rather strange requirements, maybe you can get one of these scholarships.

T
HE ZOLP SCHOLARSHIP

Who’s eligible?
Anyone who’s attending Loyola University in Chicago, Illinois, who is Catholic, and…whose last name is Zolp.

KLINGON LANGUAGE INSTITUTE AWARD

Who’s eligible?
It’s open to anyone who studies languages—speaking fluent Klingon (an alien language on
Star Trek
) is not a requirement.

FREDERICK AND MARY F. BECKLEY SCHOLARSHIP

Who’s eligible?
Anyone who’s left-handed and attends Juniata College in Pennsylvania.

CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY BAGPIPE SCHOLARSHIP

Who’s eligible?
Anyone majoring in bagpipes at Pittsburgh’s Carnegie Mellon University. As of 2009, though, there was only one bagpipe major in the United States. (His name is Nick Hudson.)

Misnamed times two: Pineapples don’t contain pine
or
apples.

NATIONAL BEEF AMBASSADOR PROGRAM

Who’s eligible?
Applicants have to give a speech and ace several interview questions…about beef. The top five get scholarships.

PATRICK KERR SKATEBOARD SCHOLARSHIP

Who’s eligible?
Must have a GPA of at least 2.5 and be an avid skateboarder. (Those unfamiliar with the terms “kickflip” and “boardslide” need not apply.)

TALL CLUBS INTERNATIONAL SCHOLARSHIP

Who’s eligible?
Men who are taller than 6'2", and women taller than 5'10".

*      *      *

NOTHING GETS PAST HIM

In February 2009, Kansas high school senior Geoffrey Stanford found a major error on his state’s standardized English exam. The test writers had used the word “omission” in a question about carbon dioxide, when they really meant to say “emission.” Geoffrey showed the mistake to his teacher, who passed it on to the board of education; they fixed it. As for Geoffrey, he’s not surprised he noticed the error. He says, “When I edit my own papers, I’m a stickler for…the correct use of words. It annoys me when I see mistakes.”

We know you’ve been wondering about this: Snails do not have ears.

Even cartoon characters can be annoyed. Can you match these mischievous kids with their enemies? (Answers on
page 241
.)

1
.
Bart Simpson

2
.
SpongeBob SquarePants

3
.
Flapjack

4
.
Johnny Test

5
.
Timmy Turner

6
.
Jake Long

7
.
The Mighty B

8
.
Charlie Brown

9
.
Kim Possible

10
.
Aang (Avatar)

11
.
Powerpuff Girls

12
.
Ben 10

13
.
Chowder

14
.
Lazlo

15
.
Jimmy Neutron

16
.
Jason Fox

a)
Icky Vicky

b)
Scoutmaster Lumpus

c)
Plankton

d)
Eight-Armed Willy

e)
The Huntsman

f)
Portia Gibbons

g)
Lucy Van Pelt

h)
Paige Fox

i)
Gorgonzola

j)
Mojo Jojo

l)
Nelson Muntz

n)
Vilgax

o)
Doctor Drakken

p)
The Fire Lord

q)
Bling-Bling Boy

r)
Cindy Vortex

Q. Who is Hannah Montana’s rude rival? A: Mikayla.

Whose beat do you march to
?

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”

—Michael Jordan

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

—Dr. Seuss

“The only rule is don’t be boring, and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.”

—Paris Hilton

“Look, Your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.”

—Han Solo,
Star Wars

“I just write what I want to write. I write what amuses me. It’s totally for myself.”

—J. K. Rowling

“Doubt everything. Find your own light.”

—Buddha

“Procrastination isn’t the problem; it’s the solution. So procrastinate now, don’t put it off.

—Ellen DeGeneres

“You alone are enough.”

—Oprah Winfrey

“Some people march to a different drummer—and some people polka.”

—Uncle John

Striped toothpaste was invented in 1955.

Raise your hand…and ask these questions. We bet they’ll make your teacher’s head spin.

Q. Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway
?

A:
A “parkway” doesn’t refer to parked vehicles; originally, parkways were roads that went through or connected public parks. In the 1800s, driveways were private roads that horse-drawn carriages used to travel from the main street to a house or garage. But today, space is more limited, so driveways are shorter and are often used to park vehicles.

Q. Why do drive-up ATMs include Braille writing if blind people don’t drive
?

A:
Visually impaired people do use walk-up ATMs, and the law requires that banks have machines they can use. It’s cheaper to install the same keypads used on walk-up ATMs in the drive-up ones than it is to make new, Braille-less keypads.

Q. Why do airplanes have flotation devices, but not parachutes, under their seats
?

A:
Commercial planes fly too high and too fast for someone to survive a parachute jump. Some jets soar over 40,000 feet, where there’s not enough oxygen in the air to breathe. Even at a lower altitude, skydiving passengers probably couldn’t clear the plane’s wings. And if they did manage to do so, it’s doubtful they could steer their parachutes and land safely without training. So, because passengers are a lot more likely to survive a water landing than a parachute jump, planes contain flotation cushions.

Australian toilets don’t swirl counterclockwise when flushed They don’t swirl at all—they flush water straight down the sides.

Q. Why do stores that are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, have locks on their doors
?

A:
Mostly it’s in case of an emergency; store employees may need to lock themselves inside for protection. Also, most commercial buildings do need locks on their doors, and like the ATMs, it costs less to make a lot of doors with the same features than it does to make special ones for 24-hour stores.