Uncle John’s Facts to Annoy Your Teacher Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! (21 page)

BOOK: Uncle John’s Facts to Annoy Your Teacher Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!
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Another problem: A few weeks into the trip, they realized they weren’t traveling as fast as they’d planned. In fact, they were going only about half as fast. They’d brought enough food for six weeks, but would probably need twice that to complete the trip. So they started eating only half of their food rations each day and caught fish to supplement their diets. But because they were traveling through the Garbage Patch, the fish they caught were often polluted and unappetizing. More than once, they caught a fish, filleted it…and found plastic pieces in its stomach.

MIRACULOUS MEETING

Just when Eriksen and Paschal started to really panic about their food supply, they got some welcome news. They’d been keeping in touch with the mainland via a computer and satellite phone. The men learned that another small craft was making its way to Hawaii, and it was pretty close to their position.

So far, scientists have identified about 1,562,663 different life forms on earth.

That craft turned out to belong to Englishwoman Roz Savage ‚who was crossing the Pacific Ocean in a rowboat. She wanted to become the first woman to row across the Pacific and, like Eriksen and Paschal, was also trying to highlight the problem of ocean pollution. But she’d run into trouble: Her desalinators had broken and she was nearly out of fresh water. She had food, though. So the two boats met up in the middle of the ocean about 600 miles from Hawaii to swap sea stories, have dinner, and trade supplies. Savage gave the men some food, and they gave her one of their desalinators.

ISLAND ARRIVAL

Finally, on August 27, after 88 days at sea, the Junk Raft and its sailors arrived in Honolulu, Hawaii. The first thing Eriksen said when he stepped onto the dock was, “We made it! Where’s the food?”

The raft went on display at the Waikiki Aquarium in Honolulu, and the two men planned to make a documentary about the experience. And for their first dinner on dry land? Pizza—quite an improvement over polluted fish, said Eriksen and Paschal.

Fang
(“a sweet-smelling fragrance” in Chinese) is a popular name for female cats there.

FART, FART, WHISTLE

Your body can be used to do some incredible things…like make annoying noises in class.

I
NCREDIBLE JOURNEY

Some kids just seem to have a natural ability to make sounds with their hands, armpits, and mouths. Uncle John was never one of those kids. He tried and tried, but just couldn’t do it. So when he became a young man, he traveled to a remote island in the South Pacific and spent 10 years studying under the world’s great hand-fart masters. Here’s what he learned.

HAND FARTS.
Hold out your left hand palm up, with fingers stretched out. Next, place your right hand on top of the left hand crosswise so that the thumb of your right hand touches your left hand where it meets the wrist. Now, squeeze the fingers around the edge of each hand where they touch. Keep your palms cupped together. Next, open the bottom of your hands a little bit to allow air in. Then, squeeze your hands together back into the starting position. The air will get pushed out, making a noise that sounds like a fart. If you don’t get it the first time, that’s okay. It’ll work eventually.

Four former Eagle Scouts have gone on to win the Nobel Prize.

ARMPIT FARTS.
Raise up your left arm. Cup your right hand against your left armpit. Lower your left arm quickly, squeezing your right hand against your body. Just like the hand fart, suddenly pushing out the air from a tight space will create a farting noise.

FINGER WHISTLE.
Make an “okay” sign with your thumb and index finger. Leave a gap where your two fingers touch—tiny, no more than
of an inch. Place the fingers barely into your mouth, resting on your bottom lip. Close your lips tightly around the fingers, just enough so that air can flow between the gap in your fingers. Press your tongue against your lower jaw, right behind your bottom teeth. Lightly blow air across the top of your tongue through the finger gap. Adjust your finger, lips, tongue, and how hard you blow to sound a whistle. If you don’t get it right away, don’t worry—it takes a lot of practice. But take this knowledge with you and let
everybody
hear just how talented (and annoying) you are.

*      *      *

EAT CAKE!

German chocolate cake didn’t originate in Germany. It’s named after Sam German, an American who invented one of the dessert’s original ingredients—the Baker’s German’s Sweet Chocolate bar—in 1857.

If you lived in Europe before the 1400s, you would never have heard of potatoes or tomatoes.

BEYOND THE WALL

The Berlin Wall was demolished 20 years ago, and few people talk about it today. Why are we talking about it? Because it makes a great escape story.

E
AST VS. WEST

Germany’s capital is one city today, but in 1948, the country was divided in two: East and West Berlin. That’s because the powerful Soviet Union (the United States’ ally during World War II, but main enemy after) didn’t want to let go of East Berlin, the part of the city it governed when the war ended.

The Soviets were so strict that lots of people living under their rule wanted to leave East Berlin. Many wanted to be reunited with family and friends on the western side. Plus, jobs were hard to come by, food was often scarce, and citizens could be jailed or killed for criticizing the Soviet or East German governments.

TRAPPED!

But no matter how much the East Berliners wanted to leave, the Soviets were determined to stop them. First, the government put up fences and ordered soldiers to shoot anyone who tried to get out. Still, about 2 million people managed to sneak across the border. So in 1961, the Soviets decided to build a concrete wall around the city to keep people in.

Country with the highest percentage of Internet users: Sweden About 75 percent of the population can get online.

The Berlin Wall was under construction for almost 20 years. In the end, it was 10 to 15 feet high, 100 miles long, and topped with barbed wire, mines, guard towers, and electrical booby traps. The Soviets were sure the fortification would keep East Berliners from trying to leave. But between 1961 and 1989, when the wall came down, at least 10,000 people managed to escape to the west…and another 5,000 were arrested or killed trying. Most of the people who outwitted the wall did so during the first two years it was being built. That’s because as time went by, the Berlin Wall got longer, wider, and higher.

THE ESCAPE ARTISTS


An East Berlin butcher once made his own “bullet-proof vest” out of hams and roasts, and then flung himself over the top of the wall. The meat absorbed the bullets and the cuts from the barbed wire. He lived and escaped to the west.


For years, college students dug tunnels all over East Berlin that reached to the western side. The first tunnel was dug in a graveyard and was disguised to look like a crypt. “Mourners” arrived with flowers and entered the crypt, but they never came out. The East German government finally caught on to this tunnel when a woman went in with her baby but never returned for the stroller she left up top.


Berlin’s sewer system was a popular way to try to escape because the eastern sewers still linked up with the ones in the west. But so many people tried to get out this way that the Soviets eventually cemented all of the city’s manhole covers shut and assigned guards to keep watch over the sewers.


Because the wall went right through the center of the city, there were many buildings that jutted up against it. Parents were known to throw young children out of upper-story windows toward West Berlin, and firemen on the western side would catch them in nets. Other people tossed mattresses over the wall from windows and then jumped to the western side.


In 1979, eight people flew over the wall in a homemade hot-air balloon. They’d spent months sewing bits of nylon together to make the aircraft. After they succeeded, the East German government kept a close watch on who in the city was buying nylon.

At one time, the word “bra” wasn’t allowed in the
New York Times
crossword puzzle But now it is.

LE McDONALD’S

McDonald’s has restaurants all over the world, but in order to succeed, they have to cater to local tastes. The result: some pretty unusual items on the menu.

T
he Netherlands:
The McKrocket, condensed beef gravy that’s deep-fried until it’s a thick, crispy patty served on a bun.

Germany:
Beer and croissants.

India:
Most people are Hindu and don’t eat beef (cows are sacred in the Hindu religion). A popular menu item is the Maharaja Mac—a Big Mac made with lamb or chicken.

Norway:
The McLaks, a grilled salmon sandwich.

Costa Rica:
Gallo Pinto, which consists of a cup of seasoned rice and beans.

Greece:
Gyros—lamb strips, lettuce, tomato, onions, and a tangy yogurt sauce stuffed into pita bread—is a popular Greek dish. The Greek Mac is made the same way, but with ground beef instead of lamb.

Hong Kong:
Instead of being served on buns, the burgers and sandwiches come on sticky rice that’s been molded into the shape of a bun.

Singapore:
Popular items include the Kampung Burger, a sausage patty topped with sliced chicken and pineapple served on an English muffin; and the McTowkay Burger, a patty of eggs and marinated ground beef mixed together and served on a bun.

Thailand:
The Samurai Pork Burger (it’s teriyaki-flavored). And for dessert, Sweet Corn Pie.

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