Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader (2 page)
Read Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Make Your Own Origami Rubber Duck
Beauty Secrets From the Good Old Days
Make Your Own (Origami) Toilet
Dude, Your Pants Are Falling Down
The Great Diamond Hoax of 1872, Part I
The Great Diamond Hoax of 1872, Part II
Shake the Trees and Rake the Leaves
The Golden Age of Radio, Part I
The Golden Age of Radio, Part II
* * *
DO NOT CALL IN EVENT OF EMERGENCY
The Office of Homeland Security operates a secret emergency hotline that connects to the governors of all 50 states. In 2006 the number was placed on the national “Do Not Call” registry. Reason: the line was being barraged by telemarketers. Wisconsin governor Jim Doyle says the phone rang once during the early days of the Iraq War. In a panic, he grabbed the phone, thinking he was about to hear instructions or grave news. Instead, he was asked if he was unhappy with his long distance service.
GREETINGS FROM “CURIOSITY CENTRAL”
A
nnnnnnnnd…we’re back!
Wow! It’s hard to believe it’s time to write another introduction, but here it is—
Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader
, our 19th edition (we’ve already rented our tuxes for next year’s 20th anniversary celebration).
But there’s plenty of reason to celebrate this year. Our insatiable curiosity has taken us to new heights in our continuing quest to bring you obscure knowledge and eye-popping trivia.
If you’re an old friend, welcome back. If you’re new, welcome to the family. And speaking of family, our little team at the BRI is tighter and happier than ever. We truly had a great time putting this
Bathroom Reader
together. Sure, it was a lot of work, what with all of the researching and compiling and writing and revising we’ve done over the last 12 months. But every single day one of our crackpot staffers would crack the rest of us up. That’s especially important during the final push to get the book to press, or “crunch time,” as we affectionately call it. Our little red schoolhouse becomes a bunker: the kitchen table is covered with (somewhat) healthy junk food; we drink gallons of coffee; John D. brings his cot to zonk out on in the back room; and Uncle John groans a lot.
So what compelling topics do we have in store for you? Too many great ones to list, but here are some of our favorites:
•
Long-lost history:
Lincoln’s duel, the first trans-Pacific flight, and roving gangs of robots.
•
Music, music, music:
the two weeks in 1927 that put country music on the map, and the shrieking birth of punk rock.
•
Follies, flubs, and fabulous hoaxes:
stupid campaign promises, the college kids who beat the Vegas casinos at their own game, and “Bunga Bunga!”
•
Humanity’s fascination with food:
how nutmeg brought the world together and how the potato nearly ripped it apart.
•
Canadian lore:
The United States government’s top secret plans to invade its friendliest neighbor. (Really!)
•
Helpful hints:
how to store your collectibles, why you should wash your hands, and how to get home safe if you’re stranded in the wilderness.
And now, before I sign off, let me send a big
Bathroom Reader
thank you—
• To our inhouse writers, John D, Thom, Brian (our robot pirate zombie), and Jumpin’ Jay.
• To our outhouse team featuring the writing talents of Malcolm and Jahnna, Jolly Jeff, Gideon, Kyle, Jef, Matthew, and to Angie, who keeps finding those amazing running feet (the little facts at the bottom of every page).
• To our production staff featuring the amazing Amy, whose calm demeanor and editing prowess helped make this book the best ever. To our mystical Julia, who somehow manages to manage it all. To our number-one reliever, Jeff A., copyeditors Sharilyn, Claudia, and Kristen, shipping diva Shobha Grace. And to Michael B., whose covers keep getting better!
• To Sydney, JoAnn, and the friendly folks at Banta.
• And last but most,
TO YOU!
You’re the reason we make these books, and we’ll bring you them with a smile year after year.
Keep on reading. And as always,
Go with the Flow!
Uncle John and the BRI Staff
P.S. Porter the Wonder Dog says…nothing. (He’s a
dog!
)
It’s not a typo: It’s
www.bathroomreader.com
It’s always interesting to find out where the architects of pop culture get their ideas. These may surprise you
.
E
LVIS PRESLEY.
Most of the King’s biographers attribute his singing style to black gospel and country music. But Elvis wanted to reach a wider audience, so he based his early vocal stylings on pop crooner Dean Martin. (For evidence, listen to Elvis’s first recording of “Love Me Tender.”)
THE MICHELIN MAN.
In 1898 André Michelin’s brother reported seeing a stack of tires that strangely resembled a human figure. That inspired Michelin to commission French artist O’Galop to paint a man made of tires. (The first Michelin Man was named Bibendum. He was much fatter than today’s version and smoked a cigar.)
SHELLEY WINTERS.
Born Shirley Schrift, the actress—who starred in more than 70 films, including
Lolita
(1962) and
The Poseidon Adventure
(1972)—changed her name when she got to Hollywood in 1943. Her mother’s maiden name was Winter, and she took the first name from her favorite poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley.
COLUMBIA PICTURES LOGO.
In 1993 Columbia hired New Orleans artist Michael Deas to update their logo—a woman in a toga, holding a torch (the original 1924 model was rumored to be actress Evelyn Venable). So who’s the new model? Actress Annette Bening has claimed it’s her…but it’s not. The real model: a 31-year-old Louisiana woman named Jenny Joseph. “When I go to the movies,” she says, “I get my 15 minutes of fame. The kids get a kick out of it.”
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA
.
The title character in Ernest Hemingway’s 1952 novella was inspired by a Cuban fisherman named Gregorio Fuentes. In the 1930s, Hemingway hired Fuentes to watch over his boat, and the two formed a friendship that lasted 30 years. Ironically, Fuentes outlived the author by many years, dying in 2002 at the age of 104. In all those years, he never read
The Old Man and the Sea
.
A two-hour movie uses about two miles of film.
Being on a game show may look easy from the comfort of your living room, but under those hot television lights, contestants’ mouths sometimes disconnect from their brains
.
Anne Robinson:
What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant:
Crocodiles.
—
The Weakest Link
Alex Trebek:
If a Japanese
isha
(doctor) asks you to stick out your
shita
, he means this.
Contestant:
What is…your behind?
—
Jeopardy!
Anne Robinson:
Who is the only Marx brother that remained silent throughout all their films?
Contestant:
Karl.
—
The Weakest Link
Todd Newton:
Bourbon whiskey is named after Bourbon County, located in what state?
Contestant:
England.
—
Press Your Luck
The Puzzle:
TOM HANKS AS _ORREST GUMP
Contestant:
Tom Hanks as Morris Gump.
—
Wheel of Fortune
Richard Dawson:
Name something a blind man might use.
Contestant:
A sword.
—
Family Feud
Eamonn Holmes:
Name the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.
Contestant:
William Shakespeare?
—
National Lottery Jet Set