Unbreakable: My New Autobiography (28 page)

A white husky we rescued from Aspen seven years ago. She was about seven when we got her, so she’s quite an old lady now. A friend of mine was on holiday skiing and called to say she had seen this sleigh dog that was about to be put down because her back legs had gone. She wanted to know if I would have her, and of course I said yes. Her legs are really bad now, so she can’t walk for long and sleeps a lot. But she still has so much love to give and she’s a gorgeous, serene dog. She has a disconcerting habit of making this haunting howling noise, but it’s not pain, it’s like a call to the wild.

Two Face

She’s seven years old and is meant to be a Pomeranian but I reckon there’s a bit of something else in there too. I got her from a rescue centre after an Amish puppy farm just outside Philadelphia had been raided. Boy, can she run and jump, so I suspect she might be part Australian shepherd, too.

Charlie

He’s a Yorkshire terrier and is three years old. We bought him at an auction for Holly Robinson Peete’s charity. She had got him from a rescue home when he was a puppy. He is such a character. He’s like the Artful Dodger from
Oliver
, and I rather think he would suit a jaunty little cap. I might buy him one for Christmas. He’s into everything, always jumping up and running around with his tongue hanging out. He has bonded with Two Face, and they do everything as a team.

Crazy Baby

The old lady of the family. She’s sixteen years old now and is blind and deaf. She’s a Japanese Chin and we bought her at a pet store in the Beverly Center, which has now closed down. Her character is very much like a cat, a little bit neurotic and superior. All the other dogs are always giving her such shit, but she doesn’t seem to bother. She gets the prefix because she used to come into a room and go crazy over nothing, like a cat that has seen a ghost.

RIP

Lola

Lola was a bulldog and such a huge part of
The Osbournes
. She was
very
famous, and you could even buy a doll of her. She was Jack’s dog and, when she died, I asked him if he thought he could ever replace her. He said he didn’t need to because he has his daughter, Pearl, and that he could never love a dog the way he loves her. Lola was thirteen when she died, which, for the breed, is almost a world record. Usually it’s ten years and you’re done.

Minnie

Died July 2008. As explained in Chapter 2, she was my absolute darling and my best friend. Say no more.

Maggie

Died 2013. A Japanese Chin like Crazy Baby, she was seventeen when she died. We got her at the Beverly Center pet store and she had many health problems but, against the odds, managed to reach old age. Her ashes are in a pot on the living-room fireplace, next to Minnie’s.

Picture Credits

Integrated images

Chapter 1 — Getty Images

Chapter 2 — Rex/Mr. JCY

Chapter 3 — Freemantle Media/Fox Broadcasting Company

Chapter 4 — Redferns

Chapter 5 — CBS via Getty

Chapter 6 — CBS via Getty

Chapter 7 — WIREIMAGE

Chapter 8 — Getty Images

Chapter 9 — © Lisa Osbourne/Instagram (mrslisao)

Chapter 10 — © Lisa Osbourne/Instagram (mrslisao)

Chapter 11 — © Sharon Osbourne/Twitter (@MrsSOsbourne)

Chapter 12 — Neil Preston/Corbis

Chapter 13 — © Brian Aris

Chapter 14 — REX/Zelig Shaul

Chapter 15 — WIREIMAGE

Chapter 16 — REX/ Ross McDairmant Photography

Bibli
dog
raphy

All images from author’s personal collection, except Lola – © Jack Osbourne/Twitter (@jackosbourne)

Plate Sections

Section 1

Page 1 — Getty Images

Page 2 — Top: REX/Ken McKay

Bottom: REX/Ken McKay

Page 3 — Top: Author’s personal collection

Bottom left: Author’s personal collection

Bottom right: ©
The Talk
/Instagram (thetalk_cbs)

Page 4 — Top: Getty Images

Bottom: Getty Images

Page 5 — Top: ABC via Getty Images

Bottom: ABC via Getty Images

Page 6 — Top: ABC via Getty Images

Bottom: Getty Images for VH1

Page 7 — Top: © Ross Halfin

Bottom: © Ross Halfin

Page 8 — Top: Getty Images

Bottom: Getty Images

Section 2

Page 1 — Top: TalkbackTHAMES/Rex Features

Middle: NBC via Getty Images

Bottom: NBC via Getty Images

Page 2 — Top: WIREIMAGE

Middle: Getty Images

Bottom: Getty Images

Page 3 — Top: CBS via Getty Images

Bottom: CBS via Getty Images

Page 4 — CBS via Getty Images

Page 5 — Top: Mirrorpix

Bottom: © Jack Osbourne/Twitter (@jackosbourne)

Page 6 — Top: Neil Preston/Corbis

Bottom: © Brian Aris

Page 7 — Top: © Brian Aris

Bottom: © Brian Aris

Page 8 — Top: © Mark Weiss

Bottom : © Mark Weiss

Section 3

Page 1 — © Brian Aris

Page 2 — Clockwise from top left: Kelly, Jack and Pearl – © Kelly Osbourne/Instagram (kellyosbourne); Ozzy and Pearl – © Lisa Osbourne/www.raddestmom.com; Lisa and Sharon – Everett Collection/Rex Features; Sharon and Pearl – © Lisa Osbourne/www.raddestmom.com; Sharon and Pearl (centre) – © Lisa Osbourne/Instagram (mrslisao)

Page 3 — Top: Getty Images Entertainment

Bottom: Getty Images Entertainment

Page 4 — Top: Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images

Middle: Getty Images

Bottom: The Sun News Syndication

Page 5 — Top: Splash/Corbis

Bottom: WIREIMAGE

Page 6 — Top: Ray Burmiston

Bottom left: FilmMagic

Bottom right: David Fisher/Rex Features

Page 7 — Top: Brian J Ritchie/Thames/Rex Features

Bottom: FilmMagic

Page 8 — Getty Images

With my crazy, beautiful family, hosting the 2008 Brit Awards at Earl’s Court, London.

Dannii and I put on a united front for her first live
X Factor
show, but backstage it was a completely different – and very explosive – story.