Authors: Nancy Mehl
Tags: #FIC042040, #FIC042060, #FIC042000, #Kansas—Fiction, #Mennonites—Fiction, #Violent crimes—Fiction, #Nonviolence—Fiction, #Ambivalence—Fiction
“So you saw the man in the red truck
and about an hour later the church was on fire?” Noah asked again for the third time. I had the feeling he was having a hard time believing that in a few short hours, so much wickedness had found its way into our midst.
“Could the church have been struck by lightning?” I asked.
“I didn't hear any thunder,” Lizzie said.
Noah shook his head. “One of the men from the fire department said the fire started from the inside. He found something thrown through a window in the back of the church. He called it a Molotov cocktail. Sounds like the same thing used to start the fire at our house.”
“I heard they were used to start church fires in other towns too,” I said.
We were sitting around a table in the dining room. Levi, who had been working at Noah's, was with us. “I'm so grateful our pastor survived,” he said. “But it's hard for me to believe our church is gone.”
Noah nodded, but no one else responded. The loss was
almost overwhelming. For some reason, we were all hungry after we came back to the restaurant, so Lizzie made sandwiches and poured us each a glass of cold milk. Charity had gone back to bed, but it had taken her a while to fall asleep. The fire had frightened her, but if she'd known it had been set deliberately, she would probably have been terrified. That's exactly how I felt.
“It had to be the guy we saw,” Lizzie said. “Although I don't understand why he'd drive through the middle of town as if he wanted us to see him. It seems strange to me.”
“I agree. And why not set the fire and leave town right away? Why wait for an hour? Where was he all that time?”
“Maybe he drove through town and then hung around because he wanted us to know it was him,” Lizzie said. “He's probably proud of what he did. Maybe setting our house on fire wasn't enough for him. He wanted to see something bigger burn to the ground.”
Noah grabbed her hand. “Regardless of this man's motives, we've got to remember that we've only lost a building. We're the church, and we're all still here. Like Levi said, we should just be grateful Pastor Mendenhall is still with us.”
“Thanks to Jonathon,” Lizzie said. She looked at me. “He's a brave man, Hope. Someone to be proud of.”
Noah started to say something, but Lizzie held up her hand. “Yes, I know. We're not supposed to be proud, but I don't mean it that way. You know exactly what I'm saying.”
“That's not what I was going to say,” Noah interjected, “but you're right.” He looked at me, a funny look on his face. “How did the man in the red truck get into town in the first place, Hope? Wasn't Jonathon supposed to be watching the road tonight?”
“No. It was Roger's night. Jonathon said he was going to your house to work.”
Noah frowned. “He never showed up.”
“Well, maybe I misunderstood. When the fire started he was in town.”
Noah shook his head. “I can't figure out how this guy got into downtown Kingdom without alerting someone. If Roger was stationed at the crossroad, wouldn't he have seen him?”
I shrugged. “I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.” I didn't feel it was right to criticize Roger or Jonathon about the obvious failure of their plan, since they were watching the road out of the goodness of their hearts and their concern for our community. But frankly, the situation bothered me too. Where
was
Roger? What had gone wrong?
“We've got to call your father in the morning,” Lizzie said, changing the subject. “Too much has happened. He'll be angry if we don't.”
“I know.”
“Yes, he needs to know about the church,” Noah agreed. He reached for his sandwich and took a big bite. “And about the guy in the red truck.”
Lizzie grunted. “That's not all of it. There's the fact that Hope was shot by Sophie Wittenbauer.”
Noah's mouth fell open and he almost dropped his sandwich. “What? Shot? What are you talking about?”
I frowned at Lizzie.
She shrugged. “Sorry, sweetie, but there's just too much going on. Everything needs to come out in the open.”
Although I didn't want to get Sophie in trouble, Lizzie was right. I took a deep breath and told Noah the whole story.
“In other words,” I said when I was finished, “Papa left me alone for one night, and I got shot at, stalked by a killer, and watched our church burn down. I have a feeling he'll never let me out of his sight again.” I sighed and took a bite of my sandwich. Lizzie's tuna salad was delicious, but for some reason, all I could taste was smoke.
Noah shook his head slowly. “This really presents a quandary. Sophie's actions prove the point the elders have been making. Trying to defend ourselves can lead to dangerous consequences. Someone could have been seriously injured or killed this evening. But then we've got someone coming into town and setting a fire that almost cost our pastor his life.” He stood to his feet, his food forgotten. “What are we going to do?”
“You know what we decided, Brother,” Levi said.
I'd almost forgotten that Levi was also an elder. He hadn't been around much since his mother had remarried. Noah was no longer living at home, so helping to merge their family farm with their new father-in-law's had fallen on Levi's shoulders. I knew he missed spending time at the church. And now it was nothing but a pile of ashes.
“When I thought Charity's life might be at risk, I went for a rifle,” Lizzie said pointedly. “And I'm not sorry for it. When push comes to shove, I'm going to look after my daughter.”
Noah's turned his attention to his wife. “She's
our
daughter, Lizzie. You're not in this by yourself.”
Lizzie dropped her eyes. “You're right. I'm sorry.”
“You're awfully quiet, Hope,” Noah said. “What are you thinking?”
I stared at my sandwich, wondering if I could even finish it.
“I was just thinking about something Ebbie said. We should pray and trust God to defend us.” I raised my head and met his gaze. “Why aren't we doing that?”
Noah stared back at me, not saying anything. Finally he said, “I guess I don't know how to answer your question, Hope.” He looked at Levi. “Why
aren't
we doing that?” he asked.
Levi smiled sadly. “We've prayed for God's help and deliverance, but we're not acting as if we truly believe He'll provide it.”
Noah walked over to the front window and stared out into the street. “Our time has been spent debating how to turn the other cheek, but we haven't talked about faith. About trusting God to be our true protector.”
Lizzie wiped away a tear. “I guess I've been so busy trying to take care of Charity, I've forgotten that God is her Father and loves her even more than I do.”
“I'm going to call a meeting with the elders and Pastor Mendenhall tomorrow,” Noah said quietly. “And we're going to pray again. Instead of trying to figure out ways to defend ourselves, we're going to believe that God is exactly who He says He is.” He turned around and gave me a small smile. “Thank you, Hope. I'm sorry you had to remind us that God is the Great Protector.”
“Yes, Sister Hope,” Levi said. “You've directed our attention back to where it should be.”
“Ebbie's been saying it all along,” I said softly. “And no one would listen to him. Especially me.”
I caught Lizzie studying me with an odd expression, but she didn't say anything.
“I'll make certain he's listened to this time,” Noah said. He turned back toward the window. “I feel ashamed of myself for not taking this stand before now.”
“People talk about faith,” Lizzie said, “but they only want to practice it when there's not much at stake.”
No one responded to her statement. Probably because there wasn't much to say.
“I must get home,” Levi said to Noah. “I hate telling our mother about the fire. She'll be so upset.”
Noah walked over and put his hand on Levi's shoulder. “If anyone can deliver this news with discretion and grace, it's you, Brother.”
Levi stood up, a full head taller than his brother. He smiled at us. “We'll all get through this. Kingdom is a special place, and you're all very special people. Together we'll come out stronger.”
Levi's words gave me hope. He had a way of bringing encouragement to people and stirring up their faith. It was the reason Pastor Mendenhall looked to him to stand in his place when he had to be away from his pulpit.
We all said good-bye to Levi as he left to go home.
“Let's go to bed, Lizzie,” Noah said. “I'm exhausted. The sun will be up way too soon. Why don't you put a sign in the window and let people know we'll be closed in the morning? That way, you can sleep in.”
Lizzie stood up slowly. “No. Everyone will come to see the church and figure out what to do. They'll need a familiar place to sit and talk. To comfort each other and make plans. I'll be open as usual. The town needs us to be available for them.”
Noah didn't argue. He just smiled and walked over to her,
holding out his hand. She took it and looked at me. “Are you coming to bed, Hope?”
“In a little while. I'd like to sit up by myself for just a bit. Is that okay?”
“Do you think it's safe for her to stay down here alone?” Lizzie asked her husband.
“I'm sure she'll be fine,” he said. “No one's going to set a fire and then come right back to the scene of their crime. He has to know that we're all on high alert, looking out for strangers.” He smiled at me. “Just turn off the light when you're done.”
Lizzie and Noah started toward the stairs, but suddenly Lizzie stopped and turned to stare at me. “Will you check the front door, Hope? In all the commotion I can't remember if I locked it.”
I waved my hand at her. “I'd be happy to. Don't worry about it.”
“Thanks.”
As they climbed the stairs I got up and checked the door. Sure enough, Lizzie had forgotten to pull the bolt. I wondered if other Kingdom residents would start locking their doors. The world we'd tried so hard to keep out of our town had come in with a vengeance.
I stepped outside and looked down the street. The fire truck was just pulling away. A few residents were gathered in front of the ruins of our church, as if they still couldn't believe what they were seeing. I walked out onto the porch and sat down on the steps. The rain had lessened to a very light sprinkle. It was only a few hours until sunrise, but today promised to be one of great sadness in Kingdom. A verse in
Psalms came into my mind.
This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
“Give us the faith to rejoice, Lord,” I whispered. “Help us to be thankful that you saved our pastor and that no one else was hurt. Protect us, Father. Take care of us, and help us to trust in you instead of ourselves.” I started to say amen, but something else popped into my mind. I had to wrestle with my flesh for a few seconds before I could say it out loud. “I forgive these men, Lord,” I said finally. “They need you. I pray their hearts of stone will become hearts of flesh, tender toward you. Help them, Lord. Forgive them.”
Sometimes it was hard to forgive, but holding anger in my soul toward the men would only make the wound they'd caused last longer. Their hate had caused enough pain. I wouldn't allow them to move in and build an altar in my heart.
I watched as the people gathered around the smoldering ruins began to drift away and head home. When the last one was out of sight, I got up and went back inside the restaurant, carefully locking the door before going upstairs to bed. Would Kingdom ever feel the same again?
Lizzie got up early
to open the restaurant but didn't wake me, even though I'd asked her to. I'd wanted to help her, but as I lay in bed, I had to admit to being glad I'd gotten a little extra time to sleep. My whole body felt tired, and my head ached. The noise coming from downstairs made it clear the restaurant was exceptionally busy, so I rolled over and pulled myself into an upright position. I was sitting there with my head down when I heard someone speak.
“Mama said you probably need this.”
I snapped my head up and found Charity standing inside the doorway of the bedroom holding a cup of what I hoped was coffee.
“How did she know I was awake?” I asked, amazed at the timing.
Charity grinned. “She didn't. I've been here a couple of times already.”
I laughed and held out my hands for the cup. Charity walked slowly across the floor, watching the hot liquid carefully.
“How did you make it up the stairs without spilling it?”
She wrinkled her little nose and shook her head, her soft black curls bouncing. “Don't tell Mama, but I spilled just a little bit on one of the steps. The carpet soaked it up so you can't tell.”
I reached out and took the cup from her hands. “I won't tell, and thank you very much. There's nothing I want more right now than a cup of coffee.”
She nodded. “I better go back downstairs. Mama told me not to bother you.”
“You're not bothering me.”
“She said you'd say that, but I wasn't to pay any attention.”
That made me laugh. Then something struck me. “Charity, why aren't you in school?”
“School was called off today because of the fire. Everybody's at the church, cleaning up the mess. Mama's feeding them.” She had a solemn look on her face. “She's giving away our food,” she said in a low serious tone. “We might go broke.”
“I guarantee you won't go broke,” I said with a smile. “Your mama and daddy would never let that happen.”
She frowned at me, her expression dead serious. “Ebbie Miller said that when we give to people God blesses us back. Do you believe that?”
“Yes. Yes, I believe that. The Bible says that when we give it is given back to us pressed down, shaken together, and running over.”
She looked puzzled. “So if Mama gives lots of free pancakes we'll get more pancakes back?”
“Well, maybe not pancakes, but God will bless your food.”
“Why does He do that?”
I chuckled. “You're really taxing my sleepy brain this morning, Charity. First of all, He loves us and wants to provide for us. But also, if you show Him that you won't be selfish with what He gives you, He'll give you more because He knows He can trust you to help other people. Do you understand?”
Her face lit up in a smile that warmed my heart. “Yes, I think so. You're the first person who explained it so it made sense.” She paused for a moment. “Except Ebbie.” As she turned to leave, she suddenly stopped and looked back at me. “Can I tell you something, Hope?”
I took a sip of coffee, savoring the wonderful rich flavor. Lizzie made the best coffee I'd ever tasted. “Yes, of course you can, Charity.”
“You are very beautiful. Like a fairy princess. Like Sleeping Beauty or Rapunzel. You should wear your hair like that all the time.” She smiled once more and then ran out of the room, leaving me a little self-conscious but flattered all the same. No one had ever told me I looked like a fairy princess. Of course, since I didn't really know what a fairy princess looked like, it wasn't too hard to dismiss the compliment.
I stood up and grabbed my satchel where I'd put my brush, hairpins, and ribbons. I walked over to the dresser and stood in front of the mirror. I brushed my hair, which hung halfway down my back. My mother's hair had been almost white like mine, and her eyes were violet too, although mine were darker than hers. Instead of immediately wrapping my hair up in its customary bun, I brushed it out until it shone like silk and lay draped across my shoulders. Was I really beautiful? Jonathon had said the same thing. I'd never seen myself that way.
The image of the blond woman I'd seen in the fabric shop came back to me, and I wondered for a moment if I would look like her with modern clothes and makeup. As soon as the thought came into my mind, I dismissed it. There was no desire in my heart to live in the world. My life was in Kingdom, and I felt no call to be anywhere else.
I pulled my hair up and twisted it into a bun. Then I tied it with ribbon and stuck pins in it without looking in the mirror again. My prayer covering lay on the dresser, but when I picked it up, it smelled like smoke. Thankfully, I'd packed another one. I'd planned to wear a fresh dress today, but after yesterday's events, I had no choice but to wear the same dress I'd worn last night. It smelled of smoke as well, but there was nothing I could do.
After adjusting my apron, I pulled on my leggings and shoes, feeling silly for letting a child's comments stir up my vanity. No wonder Papa kept only a small, imperfect mirror in the house. He was probably afraid it would make me vain. I'd been taught that true beauty is something that exists on the inside, not the outside.
After downing the rest of my coffee, I headed down the stairs. As I'd imagined, the dining room was full. Callie was running around, getting orders. I grabbed her by the arm.
“Let me help,” I said. “What can I do?”
She smiled gratefully. “Oh, Hope, thank you. Almost everyone is in town, helping at the church. I'm overwhelmed. Lizzie's cooking up a storm in the kitchen.”
“Do you want me to take orders?”
She shook her head. “If you could clear and clean tables and pour coffee, I can keep up with the orders. Everything's
free today since the town is coming together to clean up the church site and start planning for a new building.”
“My goodness, things are moving quickly.”
“The elders are meeting in Aaron's store, trying to decide what to do next.” A look crossed Callie's delicate features, like a cloud passing the sun.
“Is something wrong, Callie?”
She held up a finger toward one table, signifying that she would be with them in a moment. “I hope you won't see this as gossip, but the story is all over town. Jonathon Wiese stormed into the meeting, demanding the elders start posting guards at the road into town. He accused them of offering us up like sacrificial lambs to be slaughtered. He almost came to blows with Ebbie Miller.” She looked quickly around the room. “Dorcas Wittenbauer was walking past the store and heard everything.”
If there'd been an empty chair close by, I would have sat down. My knees went weak, and Callie reached out to grab me.
“Hope, are you all right? I'm sorry, I didn't realize . . .”
I shook my head. “It's not your fault, Callie. I think it's all the excitement from yesterday. It's just too much to take in.”
“Maybe you should go back upstairs and lie down,” she said carefully. “I don't think you're in any shape to be on your feet all day.”
I straightened myself up and threw back my shoulders. “No, I'm fine. We're all under pressure.” I reached over and hugged her. “We need to stay together, as a town and as a church.” I pointed toward John and Frances Lapp, who were looking rather antsy. “You'd better see to the Lapps while I get these tables cleaned off.”
I turned away from her, hoping she wouldn't see that I was still upset. Jonathon and Ebbie almost coming to blows? What in the world had happened? Just yesterday they'd made up, and Jonathon had expressed doubt in his plan to protect Kingdom. Papa would never allow me to date Jonathon now. Not when he was at odds with the church. Papa! I'd forgotten that Lizzie had said we should call him. Had she done it already? I hurried into the kitchen to get a tub for the dirty dishes. Lizzie stood at the grill, flipping pancakes, her face shiny with sweat.
“Well, good morning, sunshine,” she said with a smile. “Charity tells me you loved getting coffee delivered to you this morning.”
“Yes, thank you,” I said hurriedly. “Did anyone call Papa this morning?”
She nodded. “Noah called the motel. Samuel's on his way back.”
“I know it was the right thing to do, but I hate to think his trip was ruined,” I said, rinsing out one of the big plastic tubs Lizzie used to carry dirty dishes from the tables to the kitchen.
“Samuel told Noah that he and Herman had concluded their business in Junction City, so it turned out all right after all.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” I said with relief.
For the first time, Lizzie noticed the tub in my hands. “Hey, just what do you think you're doing?”
I explained my conversation with Callie, and over Lizzie's protestations, I headed into the dining room to pick up the dirty dishes that cluttered tables where new customers sat waiting for service. After clearing a second table, I looked up
to see Matthew and Anna Engel, Lizzie's parents, watching me. I smiled and went over to greet them.
“How good to see you.”
“It is good to see you too,” Anna said. “But I wish these were different circumstances.”
“I agree. I'm afraid it will take a lot of work to rebuild our church.”
Matthew nodded. “When I finish breakfast, I will go over and help clear the debris.” He looked out the window. “I know it is just a building, but those walls were witness to many wonderful moments.”
Hearing Matthew speak in positive tones about the church was gratifying, since almost a year ago he'd walked away from his position as an elder due to his belief that the church was straying from its original mission.
“Does Charity know you're here?” I asked.
Anna shook her head. “We didn't want to bother Lizzie. I would like to help if you can use me.”
“Oh, thank you, Anna, but I think we've got it under control now. Let me clear your table, and I'll send Callie over to get your order.”
“Are you sure? We don't want to add to your burden.”
“You two are never a burden.” I smiled at her, noting the sweet smile she gave me in return. Anna was a gentle, loving soul who'd been instrumental in softening the heart of her husband.
After clearing their table and wiping it down, I took the dishes to the kitchen, rinsed them and the tub, grabbed clean silverware, and took it back to them. By the time I got there, Callie was already taking their order.
I'd been working about an hour when the door to the restaurant opened and Ebbie walked in. He sat down at a nearby table. We were almost caught up, and I noticed Callie start toward him. I tapped her on the shoulder before she could make her way across the room.
“Callie, do you mind if I take Ebbie's order?”
“Of course not. And take your time, Hope. You're due a break anyway. Thanks for your help.”
I nodded at her and walked slowly toward Ebbie's table. He'd removed his hat, his usually messy hair as wild as ever. He looked surprised to see me.
“Hello, Ebbie. Are you helping over at the church?”
“No, not yet, but I'm headed over there after I eat. I just left the elders' meeting.”
“I heard you met at Aaron's.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “Oh? And what else did you hear?”
I slid into the chair next to him. “Well, I heard Jonathon was there.”
“Are you pumping me for information, Hope?”
I met his gaze without flinching. “Yes, I am. What happened, Ebbie? I heard you and Jonathon almost got into a fight. That doesn't sound like you.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “It doesn't sound like me? But you think it sounds like Jonathon?”
“I didn't say that.”
“You implied it.”
“Hush,” I hissed. “Tell me what happened.”
“I'd tell you it wasn't any of your business, but it wouldn't help, would it?”
“No, not really.”
He shook his head. “First of all, you shouldn't listen to gossip. Jonathon and I certainly did
not
come to blows.”
“I was told you
almost
got in a fight.”
“No, not even remotely. Jonathon asked to speak to the elders, he was permitted to do so, he spoke his piece, and that's all there was to it.”
“And what was his piece?”
“I think you'll have to ask Jonathon that question. I'm not going repeat something said in confidence.” He ran his hand through his hair, adding to its disarray. “I will only tell you that he stated his views and we all listened. Then he left. No fistfights. No yelling. No arguments.” He frowned at me. “Who told you we were fighting? As far as I know, only the elders and Jonathon were in that meeting.”
There was no way I could tell him that Dorcas was the source of the rumor. She was famous for spreading false stories, and it was obvious I shouldn't have given credibility to anything she'd said. “Someone walking past the store overhead you talking,” I said innocently.
He looked amused. “Was this person someone you would call reliable, Hope?”
I bit my lip and shook my head.
His warm laughter made me even more embarrassed.
“Okay,” I admitted, “I shouldn't have paid any attention. It's silly. I was just concerned.”
“Well, everything's fine.”
“I guess so. I'm still surprised about Jonathon. I thought he'd changed his mind afterâ” I caught myself and quickly shut my mouth. I'd almost told him about Sophie.
He sighed loudly. “You mean after Sophie almost shot you?”
My jaw dropped. “How . . . how did you . . . I mean how . . .”
“How did I find out?”
I nodded.
“Sophie told me.”
I was shocked to say the least. “I didn't think Sophie talked to anyone except Jonathon.”