Twist of Fate (8 page)

She rolled over onto her back, like she'd been in deep in thought, then rolled back over with her elbow resting underneath her, propping up her head.
 
"What was she like?"

"Who?"

"The one that got away?"

"There was more than one, but it was my senior year. Simone and I had been going strong all year. I was in love, or at least I thought I was. One week before school let out for the summer, I surprised her by showing up at her house. She wasn't alone." I laughed thinking about it. "She was with some guy from another school, who I'd occasionally see at parties. I had no idea she was cheating on me. She fucking crushed me."

Her hand started to run down my arm, until she stopped and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry. Girls can be real bitches sometimes." She said, then continued a few seconds later, "What happened with the other one?"

I gulped, staring at the ceiling. Trying to avoid her eyes, her question, how good it felt to have her next to me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you said there was more than one?"

'Yeah, I did, didn't I?" I rubbed my temples, trying to get up the nerve, blowing out a nervous breath.
 
"Do I really have to tell you who?"

She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, shutting it.
 
Her eyes flicked to mine. "You don't mean...me, do you?"

"After we kissed I thought we'd figure something out. I had a crush on you from the first time I met you. You were twelve years old."

"Ben, I lived 3,000 miles away, how would that have worked?"

"I know. It was stupid and lame. Then you stopped coming, and texting, whatever. I moved on, and look where it got me? A fucking broken heart twice. Love is way overrated, so I avoid it."

"You have to move past all that. You need to move on, unless...unless, you don't still love Simone do you?"

"Hell no. After six months of feeling sorry for myself, I just turned it off. Didn't give a shit no matter how sweet they were. I just didn't want to feel that way ever again. And, then I saw the same shit go down with Tommy not once, but twice. I swear that boy is cursed."
 

"Twice? You can't be serious? What happened the second time?" She sat up, crossing her legs over one another, waiting for the story. "You should have seen his face when he found out. It was real shitty too. He was dating this girl, Lizzie, sophomore year. He thought Audrey was for him, but Lizzie knocked him off his feet even more. He was madly in love.
 
He even started talking about moving in together, and she agreed to do so the following year.
 
Which would be now. They were going to get their own apartment off campus, be some happy fucking couple, y' know?"
 

She nodded in understanding. So I continued, "Tommy knew she was at a mixer with another fraternity that night, but he didn't care. He totally trusted her. That night one of our brothers got a text from his girl at the same frat party talking about how Lizzie was locked inside a room with a guy. Well, he came flying down the basement, grabbed Tommy, and a few more of us just in case a fight started. We got there, we went around the back of the house. No one ever saw us. I was the first one to sneak a glance in the bedroom window and saw them. I begged him not to look, but he shoved me aside anyhow."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah. Tommy must have stood there for five minutes making sure. I know he knew it was her, but I can tell he just didn't want to believe it."

"Oh, god. What did he see?"

"What do you think he saw? He saw Lizzie with some dude getting it on. If you could have seen his face.
 
I never saw him so upset. We waited outside for over an hour for her to come out. Everyone left, but me. I stayed with him. She came out, he jumped up. As soon as she saw him I think she knew, but she tried to play it cool. She came over, kissed him on his cheek. Tommy actually started to cry. Not like crazy waterworks, but he pushed back a few tears. He looked right at her and asked her if she had fun. She said yes, and he told her to never come near him again, and that he hoped that she wasn't too tired from getting laid to pick up her shit, that it would all be on our front lawn. She begged him to forgive her, but he kept walking away, so I followed and kept my mouth shut. He still blames himself. He thinks it's karma, or some bullshit.
 
The ultimate payback for freshman year. I swore right there, that I would not fall in love. At least not in college. I'd wait until I was old enough, the orgies would be over, the partying, all of it."

"How did you get over Simone? How did you turn it off?"

"Another girl from high school that goes here showed up one night at the frat. We got drunk, her and her roommate took me back to their dorm that night, and then I never looked back. I don't know, it was like some switch flipped, turning off my feelings."

"That's gross, Ben." He winced as the words left my lips. "Please tell me you get checked for STD's?"

He sat up, staring into my eyes, a serious expression crossed his face. "First of all, I don't have sex without a rubber, and second, yes, I've been checked to be on the safe side. My turn, what about you?"

"I already told you." I chewed on my lip.

"Yeah, but you told me about one dude, not the other one."

"Ben, I can't talk about that. I'm sorry."

"Why not? Are you still in love with the guy or something?"

I stumbled out of the bed, almost falling when I tripped over his leg. "I really appreciate you walking me home, but I think maybe you should head home."

"What did I say?" He sat up on his knees, frantically scanning my face for answers.
 

After a minute of thinking about my situation, I reconsidered. None of this was his fault. "It's nothing. Let's just get some sleep."

I switched off the light clipped to my bed frame, climbing under the covers, while Ben scooted back until his back hit the wall. He pulled the blankets over until they were covering me, snuggling me close. "I'm sorry if I said something to hurt you," he mumbled. I wrapped my hand around his, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting him know it was okay.

BEN

Chapter 10

I was studying in the main room when Paige walked in with Tommy. I looked up briefly to say hello, but she just passed me by and made her way into the basement. A few of the guys had organized a small party at the last minute. Unfortunately, I had a huge exam and needed to cram and get all this shit to sink in before nine in the morning.
 

The words were getting blurry after the clock read one a.m., and I hadn't moved in case Paige came upstairs. I hadn't seen or talked to her in three days.
 
Just because we hadn't talked didn't mean that I didn't think about her way more than I should. I was just distancing myself because I knew she didn't want me the way I wanted her. I wasn't really sure why she ignored me tonight, but I had a feeling I did something to piss her off. So, I found it best to just ignore the situation. It had never let me down before.

I could tell Paige was felt sorry for me by the look on her face when she finally came upstairs.
 

"I'm really sorry if I hurt you back then," She blurted out. "I never meant to."

"I know you didn't. Friends?"

She walked over to me, resting her head on top of mine, peering down at my open book. "I thought we already were friends?"

She kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, we are," I said.

The next day I barely got up for class because after Paige left, I downed several shots of Jack to stop thinking about her.
 
I brushed my teeth, rushing out without changing.
 
The next sixty minutes went by painfully slow. One by one chairs scraped across the floor as they finished their test to hand in, then ducked out. I went over my answers twice to make sure that I crossed every t and dotted every i. Once I was confident, I walked up, handing it in. This grade accounted for fifty percent of my final, so I was a little nervous letting it slide out my fingers.

During those minutes, I was able to keep Paige off my mind. The rest of my day was open, so I hit the recreation center to hit the weights, then run a few miles. When I swung the doors open, I saw Paige smiling at the girl at the front desk. I waited, hesitant to see which way she'd go, before I headed in. But, she turned on her heels toward me. When she saw me her face lit up like a Christmas tree, so I walked to meet her halfway. "Hey, you done working out?" I asked her.
 

"Yeah, just finished. I teach a small yoga class on Wednesdays."

I stepped back. "You do? I didn't know that."

"There's a lot about me you don't know."

I held the door open for her. "Well, we'll just have to fix that now won't we?"

She strolled out into the sunlight, pulling her hair out of her ponytail. And, I swore it was not until she cleared her throat that I didn't even realize that I was staring. "Catch you later, Ben," she said, lifting her hand slightly, waving.

After chucking my bag in a locker, I ran seven miles in one hour flat. I didn't want to go home because I knew the minute I did, that I'd call her, or text her to come over. Or, find some reason to just see her, so I finished up in the weight room, quickly changing into my suit.
 
I let the warm water take my mind off of things for about ten minutes, as I did lap after lap trying to erase Paige, and girls from my mind. But, it didn't help anymore than running on the treadmill had.

I was getting dressed after showering for our night time festivities when my phone dinged.
 

I glanced over at my bed, reading the message just as I yanked my shirt down. I froze when I saw Paige's name light up. My night just changed with one message and I knew it. I wouldn't be downstairs picking up random girls, drinking with my brothers, I'd be with Paige, pretending we were just friends. She was outside, but afraid to knock on the frat house door to ask for me. I grabbed my phone, tapping in a quick message. I tucked the shirt in, quickly dabbed on some cologne, racing to the front door. I passed a few guys on the way that muttered a few curse words at me since I almost knocked them over. I came to a halt when I got to the door, counted to five then yanked it open. "Hey," I said when I saw her several feet from the house like she was hiding.
 

She gave me her famous knock-me-off-my-feet Paige smile, then said, "Sorry, I was nervous they would think something."

I jogged up to her. "That's okay. What's up?"

"You feel like going for a walk?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

We walked for quite a while, talking about classes, yoga, frats, guys, girls, you name it. We stopped at Pinkberry because it was Paige's favorite yogurt place.
 

She was licking a bite off her spoon, when she noticed me staring at her mouth. "Did you want some of mine?"

"No, you eat it. You look like you're enjoying it."

"I can't believe you didn't get any." She stuck her spoon in, scooping some out then held it out to me. "One taste."

I gave in when I saw her attempting her best pouting expression. "Fine." I opened my mouth, just as she slipped the spoon inside. "Good, right?" She asked, excitedly.

I nodded, instantly getting a brain freeze.

She laughed, while I banged my hand on the table trying to create pain somewhere else. I started to think about our night coming to an end, and how to work around it. "Feel like going back to your place? We could rent a movie?"

She shook her head. "I can't. Ellie is using it for a few hours."

I stood up, taking her hand in mine. "My place it is."

The house was crawling with people, but I didn't feel like hanging out with everyone. Paige came to me earlier, and I kind of wanted to know why. "Let's go upstairs. It's more quiet." I yelled over our theme song, "Welcome to the Jungle," by Guns n Roses as it blasted through the house.

She stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up. "I don't know, Ben."

I spun her around to face me. "What's wrong?"

"I just...I should have said it earlier. I'm just really sorry about when we were younger. I hate knowing I hurt you." I could tell by her face, and her omission that she was conflicted about what I was expecting once upstairs.

"P, c'mon. It was years ago. I already told you to forget about it." My hand slid down the length of her arm until I reached her hand. "Stay."

She rocked back on her heels, staring down at her feet. "I have a paper due. I should really go."

I grabbed her wrist, and I know she must have seen the desperation in my eyes as I tried to get her to change her mind. "Stay and I'll make it fun for you. I promise."
 

She smiled lightly, as she lifted her face. It felt like forever waiting for her answer. She looked like she was about to cave, so I gestured for her to move up the stairs.
 
I smiled when she pushed past me, and started her way up.
 
Jack slipped out of the room, with a bottle of booze, smiling at us. "Oh, hey, Paige."
 

"Hey, Jack." She smiled at Jack who was eyeing the pair of us up, but then turned to me, slapping his hand on my back. "Have fun, Benny," he laughed, practically running out of the room.