Turn To Me (25 page)

“You summoned me?” I said flatly.  I didn’t know what to do with my hands so I pushed them into the back pockets of my jeans.  I kept my distance, though my eyes drank him in as he stood behind his desk.  He’d discarded his suit jacket and tie, loosened his collar, and turned back the cuffs of his white dress shirt.

He frowned at my tone before rounding the desk to approach me.  I took a wary step backward.  Blane stopped in his tracks.

“You haven’t done that in a while,” he said grimly.

“Done what?” I asked, pretending ignorance.

In answer, Blane took another step and I couldn’t resist the compulsion to inch back away from him.  His face darkened even as mine grew hot.

“Why are you afraid of me again?” he asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snapped.  “I’m not afraid of you.”  I wasn’t sure how to feel at the moment, I just knew I was hurting.  If he touched me, I might break down in tears, which was the absolute last thing I wanted.  I wanted to get away and pull myself back together.

He crossed his arms over his chest, regarding me silently.

“You heard what I said to Kade,” he said quietly.

I shrugged, glancing away from him to study the wall over his shoulder.

“Kade is misinformed,” Blane said.  “I have no intention of going back to Kandi.”

“It’s none of my business.”  I pushed the words out past lips that felt numb.

“Of course it’s your business,” he shot back.  “Do you think I’m just using you until I get bored?”

I didn’t speak and didn’t look at him.  He’d just voiced the fear I wouldn’t even admit to myself.

He cursed, then moved toward me so quickly I started in surprise.  I stumbled backward, only to have his hands close firmly on my waist, holding me in place.

“After all we’ve been through, you’d still believe that of me?”  His eyes searched mine, their depths the stormy gray I’d come to expect when he was angry. 

“I don’t know what to believe,” I said, my voice hardly above a whisper.

He studied me, his lips set in a grim line.

“Believe this.”

I barely had time to process the words before his lips touched mine.  The familiar touch and taste of him was like a drug. 

No.  I couldn’t let him do this.  I knew I didn’t stand a chance of guarding against him if he used my own body against me - my body which was even now straining toward his.

I wrenched my lips from his, turning my face away.

“No,” I gasped, trying to squirm out of his grasp, but he was too strong.

Blane ignored my protest, his hands moving into my hair as he gripped my head, forcibly holding me in place as he kissed me again.  My hands pushed against his chest, but it was like trying to move a wall of granite.

His lips moved against mine, their harshness gentled now, coaxing.  I could smell his cologne and his own unique scent, spicy with an undercurrent of something darker, muskier.  His skin was warm under my fingers, the heat of his body soaking through the linen of his shirt.

The rough pads of his thumbs brushed my cheekbones as he changed the angle of his kiss, his mouth slanting across mine.  I tried to hold myself stiff, unaffected by his efforts.  The warm heat of his tongue touched the seam of my lips, a gentle request.  I gasped, sucking in breath, and his tongue surged inside my parted lips, taking advantage of my moment of weakness.

Blane took his time, stroking and exploring and beguiling me.  My thoughts were fuzzy, incoherent.  My bones melted as his arm curved around my waist, pulling my now languorous body fully against him, one hand remaining in my hair, his large palm cupping the back of my head.

Something seemed to crack open inside my chest as he held me, so tightly did his arm wrap around me to hold me close.  If I allowed myself, I could almost believe I was something precious to him.  But that path was dangerous; the near certainty of heartbreak loomed.

Blane lifted his head, his eyes now a brilliant green, his lips glistening and as swollen as mine felt.  The air was thick with expectation and unsaid things.

“You're more to me than just a diversion,” he said, his voice low and rough.  “Do you believe me?”

I couldn’t speak, afraid I’d give voice to all my fears and insecurities if I so much as released a single syllable.  Did I believe him?  I wanted to – too much so.  Maybe that was enough.  Hesitantly, I nodded.

Something close to relief flashed across his face, then was gone.  His lips pressed against my forehead and my eyes slipped closed.  It would be easy, too easy to fall in love with Blane, and I was afraid I’d already passed the point of no return.  He gathered me close, resting his chin on top of my head, and I savored how I felt secure and cared for in his arms.

“I have to go,” I finally said, reluctantly pulling away. 

“I think it would be a good idea for you to leave town for a while,” Blane said, releasing me.

I jerked my eyes to his in surprise.

“It would be safer,” he continued.  “Kade can take you, go somewhere for a week or two, just until the trial is over.”

“But that would leave you here alone,” I protested.  “They’ve been threatening you, too, Blane.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said grimly.  “It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Then we’ll handle it together.  I’m not running away.”

“It may not be your choice,” he said slowly, his jaw hardening.

“You’d force me to leave?”  The very thought raised my hackles.

“If it gets any worse, then yes.”

I shook my head, choosing to ignore his comment.  I didn’t want to fight.  “I’ve got to get to work,” I said, moving out of his arms.

“Remember the party tomorrow night,” Blane reminded me.  “Here’s the address.  You can meet me there.”  He grabbed a slip of paper off his desk and handed it to me.

My heart sank again.  “I can’t come,” I confessed.  “Romeo changed the schedule and I have to work.”

“Damn it,” Blane said in disgust, shoving a hand through his hair, “why won’t you quit that job?”

That hit my last nerve.  “Because I need the money, Blane!” I exploded.  “And it’s great and it’s nice that you want to help me, but that won’t do me any good when this is over!”

He froze, anger emanating from him as he stared at me.  His face was an unreadable mask, and I wished I could take back the words I’d spoken.

“I’m trying to tell you that I’m not going anywhere,” he bit out, “and you already have me halfway out the door.”

His words stung, the truth in them making me wince, so I lashed out.  “Isn’t that how you roll, Blane?” I snapped.  “You think I don’t know I’m just the latest in a very long line of women?”

“You’re throwing my past up in my face?”  In two strides, he was in front of me, his hand gripping my arm in a painfully tight grasp.  I swallowed heavily as he loomed over me, his eyes flashing with fury.  “I didn’t know you then, Kathleen.  What do you want from me?”

I tried to back up, but couldn’t.  My heart pounded in fear, which only made me angrier.  I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, cowering was just instinctual.  His anger was an intimidating thing.

“Nothing,” I hissed furiously.  “I don’t want anything from you.”

The door suddenly flew open.  Both Blane and I looked to see Kade standing in the entry.

“Lovers’ spat?” he smirked, but I noticed his eyes were serious as he took in the situation.

“I was just leaving,” I said, more to Blane than Kade.  I jerked my arm out of Blane’s grasp.  He let me go, his eyes locked on mine.  I walked away quickly, casting one last glance back at Blane who stood unmoving in the middle of the office, watching me walk out the door.

Kade said nothing as we walked to his car.  Without a word, he tossed me my car keys.  I looked questioningly at him.

“I think it’s best if you have your own mode of transportation, just in case.”

I nodded, grateful to get my car back.  I drove back to my apartment, Kade following me in his Mercedes.

He didn’t speak until we were halfway up the stairs.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Like you care,” I muttered.  Kade would probably turn a cartwheel if Blane and I broke up.

He took me at my word and didn’t say anything further.

I found a note from Alisha taped to my door and was glad to read that she was at home and waiting for me to bring Bits over.  I walked him first before knocking on her door.

“How’s your grandma?” I asked, once I was inside.

It took a minute for her to answer since she was crouched on the floor saying hello to Bits who was currently jumping and licking her face.  Eww.  I knew where that dog’s tongue had been and I certainly wouldn’t want him licking my face, or any part of me, for that matter.

“She’s fine,” Alisha finally replied, standing and taking the load of doggie toys from me.  “I really appreciate you helping me out.”

“No problem.  Bits and Tigger got along really well actually.”

“So,” Alisha said, drawing out the syllable, “who’s mister tall, dark and handsome I saw you take into your apartment?”

I blushed and Alisha smiled knowingly. 

“Yum,” she said with a grin. 

“It’s not like that,” I stammered.  “He’s...just a friend.”

Alisha’s grin faded as she looked at me.  “You all right, Kathleen?” she asked, concern creasing her brow.

“I-”  The words “I’m fine” stuck in my throat.  It would be so nice to have someone to talk to.  “Blane and I had a fight,” I finally said. 

She regarded me seriously.  “Are you okay?  He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“Of course not,” I said, shaking my head.  “Not that kind of fight.  It’s just, I don’t know.”  I swiped a hand over my tired eyes.

“What did you fight about?” she asked.

“His ex, I guess,” I shrugged.  “He expects me to act like this is going to work out, when we both know it won’t.  I’d be kidding myself to believe that.”  Wouldn’t I?

“He’s been with a lot of women,” Alisha agreed, “but you never know, Kathleen.  It could happen.” 

Allowing myself to believe that terrified me.  If I let that idea get a foothold, if I believed Blane when he said he wasn’t going anywhere – that would make me vulnerable.  And if I was wrong?  If Blane was wrong?  I couldn’t stand the thought of what that might do to me.  I shook my head.

“I’ve got to get ready for work,” I said.  “Thanks for listening, Alisha.”

“Listen, Kathleen,” she said, grabbing my hand.  “I know it’s hard, you want to try and protect yourself, but give him a chance.  You might be surprised.”  She gave me a hug that was tighter and longer than usual.  It felt good to have a girlfriend.

Twenty minutes later, I’d dressed in my work uniform and ran a brush through my hair.

“Don’t you want to eat first?” Kade asked.

“I’ll grab something at the bar,” I said with a shrug.  I suppose I should have been hungry, but I wasn’t.  My stomach rolled at even the thought of food.  I tried to hold on to my anger, but really I was just mad at myself, not Blane. 

“So what’s the story with Kandi?” I asked Kade, proud that my voice was strong and firm.

He glanced at me but I wouldn’t meet his eyes, finding my boots and making a great show of putting them on.

“Her dad and Blane’s dad were buddies,” he answered.  “Two strong political families, wealthy, connected.  They raised Blane and Kandi side by side.  She’s a few years younger, but they always planned for them to get married.  They’ve been on again and off again for years.”  I looked up to see him staring at me, assessing.  “But then I guess he met you.”

“Blane and Kandi broke up before he met me,” I denied, somehow not surprised by the history between the two.  “I had nothing to do with it.”

He didn’t reply, his eyes gazing into mine before I looked uncomfortably away.

“She’s quite intent on getting him back,” I said with forced lightness.  I remembered with a sinking feeling how beautiful and sophisticated she’d looked at the fund raiser and in Blane’s office.  I couldn’t compete with that, especially given her shared history with Blane.

“Kandi usually gets what she wants, yes,” Kade confirmed.  “Whether or not that’s Blane remains to be seen.”  His voice clued me in on something.

“You don’t like her,” I said, studying him.

“She’s a selfish, narcissistic bitch,” he replied.  “What’s not to like?”

I laughed in spite of myself. 

When we got to the bar, Kade pulled over to the curb, but made no move to park in the spot next to me.  I got out and went to his window, which he’d rolled down so he could speak to me.

“I need to check something out,” he said.  “I’ll be back later.  You good from here?”

“I’ll be fine,” I said.  “Where are you going?”

“Thought I’d check on those phone records and swing by where Bowers was staying.”

“Be careful,” I told him.

His only response was a smirk.  I rolled my eyes and watched Kade drive away, the taillights fading in the distance.  I was nearly to the bar door when I reconsidered, going back to my car and getting Blane’s gun from the glove box.  I shoved it into my purse and headed inside.

I was not greeted with good news.

“We have to wear what?!”  I eyed the red velvet Tish was holding.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish I was,” Tish said with a snort.  “Romeo left them for us.  Said we’re supposed to wear them until Christmas is over.”

The outfit I contemplated was a little red velvet mini-dress with white fur trim around the hem and neckline.  Except there wasn’t really much of a neckline.  It was strapless and sleeveless.  Not only was I going to look like a tramp in it, I was also going to freeze my ass off.  Tish was already wearing hers – of course it looked good on her.  Unfortunately, my chest and ass were larger than hers.

I wanted to say a very foul word.  With a shared look of long-suffering with Tish, I took the outfit and stomped to the bathroom to change.  Tish helpfully gave me an extra pair of her nylons to wear – they would at least help keep me warm.

Tish had to help me zip the darn thing – I couldn’t reach it.  I then studied my reflection in the mirror.  Good lord, I looked like I was going to fall out of the top of the dress.  I tried unsuccessfully to tug it higher on my chest.  There was no way I was going to wear this all the way until Christmas.  Romeo could just stuff it.