Tundra 37 (29 page)

Tech walked up and folded his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to my laser in time. Rest in peace, Ms. Legacy. You’ve served the Guide well.” Although his speech was short, his voice was sincere.

He walked away, dragging his feet through the snow and Gemme stood up next. “Luna, I know we weren’t the best of friends. I forgive you for pushing me into the recycling bin that day. I can only hope you’ve forgiven me. I wish I could have done more to save you. I hope your soul rests at peace.”

Gemme joined Tech as he unloaded the mining equipment, leaving Brentwood to speak in private. Mixed emotions flooded his thoughts. “Ms. Legacy, Luna, I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you. In return for your sacrifice I will finish this mission. I’ll make sure Thadious Legacy’s dream lives on, and the people of the
Expedition
continue. If you were trying to tell Gemme something, or warn her, I’ll figure out what it was.”

He closed the lid of the back hatch and watched as she disappeared beneath the door. That night he’d have to send a notification to her family. Brentwood sighed and collected his thoughts.

So much to do, and no time to grieve
.

Gemme scanned the sight with Tech’s miniscreen while Tech worked on the drill. Their faces shot up as he approached.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to the beacon’s coordinates. I’ll investigate the device linked to the orb. I have to figure out what Luna said. I must decide if we should take it back to the Seers or destroy it.”

The
Expedition,
2751

Mestasis hadn’t allowed herself to roam back into those complete memories of Old Earth in hundreds of years, and now she knew why. Every fiber of the remains of her body panged in sorrow, vibrating in dissonance with her mission objectives. She couldn’t allow her mind to wander into such dangerous territory, yet her thoughts opened the forbidden door.

What if I’d stayed behind?

Using her good eye, she gazed across the control chamber at Abysme. Ever since the crash her sister hung limp and despondent from the wires attaching her to the ceiling like a blind rag doll. Abysme had left her, and Mestasis shivered as the loneliness crept in. If she wanted her sister back, she’d have to learn more about the one thing that had interested Abysme before the ship had crashed. She had to plunge into the orb, to embrace its power and learn what it was meant to do. Yes, to help Abysme, she had to go in.

The energy from the cosmic swirls called to her, stronger than before. A repeating electrical impulse resonated from its depths, the same code she’d given to James on their first date at the Techno Express. She could remember his fingertips brushing hers vividly, and in the orb, their secret communication lived on.

But was it him?

Mestasis’s mind crawled toward the orb, wary and eager at the same time. Its power had surged exponentially since they crashed, and she didn’t know if she could control herself. She steeled her nerves. The last time she could barely pull herself away, and the ship needed at least one telepath at the helm. Thousands of lives rested on her shoulders, and she needed to know she could remerge to keep them safe. Rooting a part of herself within her body, she connected to the energy and allowed her mind to slip into the depths like a diver into a bottomless pool.

§

The light blinded her as she passed through it. Shapes formed in the distance, black figures curled in dancing poses with salamanders creeping into triangles. A single blade of grass poked through dusty soil and she reached out and ran her finger along the edge, the tip so sharp it almost cut her skin. Golden swirls of sunlight fell on her skin. She stood on a floor of concrete, sleeping blankets spread out in a row of three.

A woman wearing a grubby beige uniform hummed a song, unraveling her long braids in front of the antique mirror.

“Mom?” Mestasis’s voice quivered.

She didn’t turn around when she spoke. “I have a double shift tonight. Make sure your sister eats dinner.”

“Mom.”

This time her mother did turn around. Her dark eyes shone like brown velvet from the halo of her wavy hair, and her skin looked sleek and vibrant, high cheekbones carved into her heart-shaped face with thick lips and teeth white as pearls. Her mother’s beauty captivated her and she stared, brimming with unshed tears. Here was another chance to tell her everything she’d neglected on Old Earth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you, Mom. I was working so hard, I thought I could give you a better home, I thought I could save you.”

“My dear Metsy.”

She rose from the crate and Mestasis’s heart pounded, longing for her mother’s arms to envelop her, to feel her love.

Her mother put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I know I can count on you.”

Mestasis paused. Count on her for what? To save the people aboard the
Expedition
? “What are you talking about, Mom?”

“I know you’ll look after Bysme. I’ll be home at 5:30 tomorrow night.”

“But?” Mestasis felt oddly mute. Here she was opening her heart with everything she’d ever wished to tell her for centuries, and her mother spoke as if she’d see her the next day.

She kissed her on the cheek, her lips soft against Metsy’s skin. Warmth spread throughout her face and neck. She could have stood in that moment forever, but her mom pulled her hand away. She shuffled to the kitchen and packed three soybean wafers into her old work bag.

With a wink, she took out an old plastic box and set it on the cracked plastic countertop. “Something for you and your sister to keep busy with.”

“What is it?”

She smiled as she slipped out the door. “Have fun.”

Mestasis remembered the box. She relived the night they’d opened the container to find a whole set of chess pieces. They’d stayed up into the next day designing a makeshift board with chalk on their floor and playing against each other until their brains felt like mush. It was one of the happier nights of her young life.

She yearned to open the container and sit with Abysme. The red coat of the king poked up underneath a crack in the lid. She reached for it, fingers dangling in the air before she jerked her arm away.

It was only a memory. Her mom had said exactly what she’d said that night, ages ago. Nothing more. Her heart tore open when she realized her words would never get through, never reach the true soul that had been her mother. But everything seemed so real. The cool countertop underneath her fingers had all the right cracks in it, her mom’s hand felt just right on her shoulder. Just as she remembered it.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it?

A thumping sound came from the back room. Mestasis turned to see a ten-year-old Abysme pop up from the blankets. “Did I miss Mom?”

“Yes.” The sudden urge to play the night out again rose up inside her, but she squelched it down. Her sister walked by, ratty pajamas two sizes too big trailing behind her. She opened the lid, the chess pieces falling on the floor. “What’s this?”

Mestasis knew her line even after all these years. “Mom left it for us.”

“What is it?” She rubbed her eyes.

“A chess set.”

The longer she spent in the memory, the more energy it took to remind herself of reality. She needed to find a way to get Abysme back, not play with her memory. She knew of only one way to test the boundaries of the orb, to find out what it wanted. To do so, she’d have to risk her heart being torn open all again. Mestasis closed her eyes and thought of James.

§

A young teen boy brushed by her as she held her steaming cup of synthetic coffee. She watched him disappear between an old woman and her bodyguard as they waited for their coffee.

“Such a plain choice for someone so special.”

Mestasis whirled around, and the liquid in her cup burned the back of her hand, creating golden swirls. The pain seared hot as the day it had happened. But she didn’t care.

James stood behind her holding his own dark beverage. His presence provided sustenance for her starving soul. She soaked in his silver eyes, feeling as though she could lose herself staring into them. And she almost did.

He waited for her answer. People pushed by them, unaware of their statue figures, locked in a moment of time.

She knew what her line was, but this time, she tried something else. She dropped her cup, the coffee splattering across the floor, splashing against the feet of the other people in line. They stepped forward unaware, like ghosts.

Mestasis wrapped her arms around James and pressed her lips to his. He tasted like salt and spice, the all too familiar sensations overloading her senses. She didn’t care about the
Expedition
, the crew, or Abysme. She wanted to live in this moment forever. To relive it time and time again: the heat of his skin pressed against hers, the curve of his lips. The orb held her paradise. She never thought she’d find it again. How could she give it up a second time?

Mestasis’s heart gripped in her chest as she realized where Abysme was. Her sister must have attached her mind to the orb. Craving her memories, the orb trapped her in a neverland within its depths.

If she searched deep enough inside herself, she found a hollowness in the atmosphere. A blurriness at the edges of her sight she hadn’t noticed before. The orb wasn’t big enough to hold her there forever, to make each memory live on as real flesh and blood. But the dimensions of the beacon calling to it on Tundra 37 was.

Mestasis pulled away and looked into his face. “James, you have to help me. Abysme is gone and I don’t know how to get her back. She’s stuck in this orb.”

James gave her a quirky smile and gestured over his shoulder. “I found us a table in the back.”

“No.” She pulled on his arm as he brought her to the same place they’d sat before. The seat that had once excited her now felt like a prison. James looked at her as if she’d commented on the weather. This vision was a shadow of his true self. No one surrounding her had a soul. Her heart broke all over again as she reminded herself he was gone.

Suddenly, the walls pressed in like a fist squeezing the blood out of her veins. A presence beyond the ghosts of memories lurked in the air like a disease. Mestasis searched the electronic pulses, connecting to a dark center. The presence thrived the deeper she fell, sucking at the very essence of her soul. It was old, older than she was, older than she could imagine. It wanted something; her energy, her soul? Mestasis couldn’t tell. But she did sense an aching for things that could never be again. Was it the essence of melancholia itself?

§

Mestasis yanked back so hard, her mind dislodged from the scene. Part of her screamed to go back, as if she’d ripped only half of herself away, leaving a fundamental part of her soul behind. Reliving previous memories was addictive, but it accomplished nothing. She had to contact Alpha Blue, she had to tell them to destroy the beacon. The cool, recycled air of the control chamber surrounded her once again as she opened her eye. She tried connecting to the communications channels, but something blocked her, pushing her back.

Computer, contact Alpha Blue. Code Beta Prime. Message: destroy the beacon.

The wires in the room tightened around her, and Mestasis fought to keep her body in control.
Status of transmission? Computer?

The system didn’t respond. The electric impulses she had sent came back at her, suffocating her consciousness as if the computer tried to blink her out of existence.

Her mindspeak barely came out.
Contact Alpha Blue.

Something moved from the ceiling. Mestasis froze in shock. Abysme twitched like a robot come to life. Her sister’s head jerked to the side, and her blind eyes stared at her with chilling calculation.
Request denied.

§

Spotlights shone on Vira as she twirled in a glittery, plum-colored gown to the center stage. The fabric glistened in the golden light like diamond dust, cosmic swirls streaming in gold along her waist. Flutes played in the orchestra below her feet as the conductor matched every pose she made with the music. She extended her gorgeous long leg in an arabesque, and the flutes rose up with a flurry of high-pitched notes.

Vira waved her wand, sparkles flying through the air and rose up, balancing on the square toes of her ballet shoes. The toned muscles in her legs catapulted her across the stage. She felt as though she danced on air with no need of wings. Her legs took her wherever she wanted to go. She pirouetted to the back of the set, where the nutcracker stood, brushed his beard with her fingers, and then slid back to the front. She finished her performance with a bow, and the dark mass of the audience in front of her applauded, throwing roses at her feet.

§

“Wake up, spacehead.”

Vira felt a punch on her arm and buried her head underneath the pillow, willing the dream to come back again. Maybe if she ignored her sister she’d go away.

“Mom wants you in the kitchen
—
pronto.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, stars blossomed on the back of her lids. No stage, no sugar plum fairy dance. Disappointed, she peeked out from her pillow.

“Aw, Rizzy. You just woke me up from my ballerina dream again.”

“Silly dreams aren’t good for you. They fill your head with nonsense. Now, come on.”

Her sister pulled her up and carried her to the kitchen. She felt like such a burden. Losing her hoverchair was all Rizzy’s fault, because they wouldn’t have been up on the higher decks if her sister hadn’t run away to kiss Daryl.

“And your poster isn’t nonsense?”

“No, that’s a real story from Old Earth.”

“Yeah, a real-made-up story.”

“Whatever.”

Her parents sat at the table with a meager amount of food spread out before them. Her mom’s hair looked greasy from not being able to shower, and her dad wore the same clothes he’d gone to work in yesterday. They still had smiles on their faces, but their expressions seemed sad and forced.