Trust Me (20 page)

“So tight baby… your fucking squeezing me so good.” Chad moans and then he lets loose on me in wild enthusiasm slamming into me and making my body quake. He lifts and brings us back down to the mattress and he lets his weight press me down so that all I can feel is Chad Blake, in and on me. “Fuck baby can I come?” He asks and I find the question insane because I don’t know why he would not want to come.

“Jesus yes Chad come. Come just as hard as you made me come.” Not knowing that what I was saying was considered dirty talk I continued to stroke his ego with praise for his penis and its ability to make me beg cry and scream.

“Look at me Carrie.” He yelled but there was no anger in his tone, it was all pleasure. “Look at me when I come baby. I need to see you.”

I cup his face in my hands and lock our gazes when he shouts a curse and stills inside of me. I can feel his erection kicking inside me and I love it. His lips fall to mine and his tongue is lost on my tongue. There is no room for anything but him inside of me. No room for hate or shame or sadness. There is only a glowing warm spot that is all comfort and safety and yes, love! And it’s all because of this man panting and breathless beside me.

As of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strong
I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out right

Alice In Chains

Chapter Twelve

It could have been hours or even days. We lay against one another, my chest over his as my fingers walked paths along his back and his arms, trailing the yellow brick road to his skins version of the Emerald City. Like always my eyes fell to his version of the Tin man. It was a woman dressed up in a candy striper uniform only pin up style so she was sexy as hell. “Why is your Tin man a Tin Woman?” I trace my fingers over the defined eye lashes and kissy lips of the Tin woman and following the yellow brick road and the broken hearts that lie upon it.

He grasped my fingers and brought them to his lips before linking them and pulling them to his chest. He had been lying on his stomach with his head to the side facing me as I curled on the side of him mapping out his inked up back. The move pulled me closer but now half lying on his back I could see the lion and the scarecrow on his arm. “My mom died when I was born. It was complications with the labor. She had heart disease and didn’t know and the birth was too much strain on her and she went into cardiac arrest and never came out. I made her the Tin woman because of that.

Now he unclasped my fingers and raised up on his forearms as I shifted back onto the side of him. Chad pulled me across his back again so I now lay on the side with the lion and scare crow. Laughing at how easily he moved me I snuggled in tight to his side. He rolled to his side facing me and held his tatted arm out.

“After my mom died my dad couldn’t take the pressure of single dad-hood and offed himself. He’s the lion, because of the cowards way out. He took no thought to where I would go or who would want me. I lucked out when Grandpa took me without thought. He was in his forties at the time and still young. My grandma had died of the same thing as my mom but it had been a few years before I came along. So growing up it was me and my grandpa. He was telling me from as far back as I can remember to use my brain and apply myself for a better life.

“He made me work for my first guitar that I bought off Cal when I was twelve after mowing lawns for three summers.”

“It’s your black acoustic isn’t it?” I asked knowing that it had to be second hand and his favorite. I knew a story was there.

He nodded. “I love that guitar. I have put more money into it then what it would cost to buy a new one. It’s not the same though, Grandpa made me earn it with my own sweat. So yeah, he’s the scarecrow because he was bound and determined I use my brain.” He pointed to the stance the scarecrow was taking, his arm pointed out towards nothing while the other pointed towards Emerald City. “Use your brain and pick your path, never stray and never second guess yourself and you’ll be fine. He told me that at least a thousand times but I did as he said. Pointing to Emerald City is where they are waiting for me and pointing to nothing is endless possibility.”

“God I love that Chad. I love that your canvas is your story and that every little thing holds meaning to you. Creative as hell to, it’s amazing.” I look up at him and drop a kiss on his shoulder. “
You’re
amazing.”

I love this man with so much of myself that it’s hard to breathe at times. I love his mind and how creative he is in every aspect of himself. I am lying on my back and he is tracing invisible patterns on my skin. “What would you tattoo on me?”

He smiles and lets his hand glide down my body to the soft skin of my pubis. “That’s easy baby.” He says with a devil may care grin and kisses me just above the slit of me. “I would use script right here.” He says indicating the top of my vagina. “It would say ‘ Property of Chad Blake.” He laughs when I do and then drops a kiss to that very spot then gets serious. “I would go freehand on the inside of your thigh, something as beautiful as you.” He shrugs, lost in thought. “I can’t touch you without intimacy and it would melt me every time I could see my ink before I make love to you.”

He leans in kissing me and we find ourselves at the start of round two when he falls between the cradle of my legs and runs a finger through the slit of me and gasps. “Always so ready for me.”

“Always” I gasp when he slips his finger inside. I lean up to kiss him and from the angle I’m laying I can see where the tattoo ends and is left blank on his right shoulder. “What are you putting here baby?” I ask and trail my tongue over his collar bone before I nibble the skin on the cap of his shoulder.

“That’s where Dorothy will be.” He pushes against me with his hand sliding deeper when he pulls back and moves his finger to his mouth sucking my wetness away.

“And Dorothy is who?”

He smiles his rockstar smile and winks at me. “Don’t know yet. Dorothy is my symbol for home. I don’t know what home is yet. Might be in LA if we ever make it big, might be a woman. I won’t know till I find home, when I do that will be my Dorothy.” He didn’t say anymore, just slipped inside of me with painful slowness and made love to me, mind heart and body. There were no more words left to be said.

*

“What time is it?” I ask and I kind of hate breaking the silence.

He holds me tighter but rolls to his side to look at the alarm clock. “Nine-thirteen.” He rolls to his back again and resumes kissing the top of my head.

“I think I need to get home.” I groan not at all wanting to leave him.

When he shifts to move me from his chest I am overwhelmed with embarrassment that he is so quick to take me home. I sit up immediately and start looking for my clothes, taking his gray quilt with me. “Any clue where my clothes are?” I ask but avoid eye contact.

He starts laughing and combs his fingers through his hair. It is so unfair that he is devastating to look at. I know he is naked under the sheet, know what he has beneath it and it just sucks that I got caught up in the moment and believed it was real. “I think their scattered from the kitchen to right there.” He laughs again and points to the floor where my bra is lying across his guitar.

“Oh no what if Harvey came home?” I ask completely horrified by my behavior in Harvey’s house.

Chad laughs again and shakes his head. “Me and gramps have a code Carrie. He knew not to come home tonight.”

“That’s despicable.” I scowl and strap on my bra followed by my tank top.

“What’s up Carrie girl?” He asks when he see’s I’m fuming and trying my best to get out of here.

I don’t answer and just wrap the quilt around my waist and move to the door. He flies from the bed dropping the sheet and grabbing me from behind stalling my departure. “What the hell baby?”

His breathing is fast and he sounds panicked. “Where are you going Carrie?”

“Home obviously!” I snap and try my best not to cry.

Were you gonna wait for me or just run?” He sounds more like himself now but there is a distinct edge in his tone.

Suddenly I feel foolish for jumping to assumptions. He didn’t sound happy when I said I was leaving and he seemed surprised by my attitude. “I’m sorry.” I whisper feeling the shame roll in like a comfort blanket.

“For what?” He asks and there is no hiding his annoyance.

“Nothing just forget it.” I try to drop it but apparently Chad wanted me to embarrass myself further.

He only pulls me closer to his chest. I can feel his breath on my neck and I don’t bother hiding my shiver at his closeness. “No, no forgetting. What happened that freaked you baby?”

He drops a kiss below my ear and I bite back my groan but have fully relaxed into his chest. “I had a momentary lapse in my confidence is all.” And then I hiss as he presses his hips against my ass and I feel how hard he is.

“Tell me why.” He says and his teeth find the lobe of my ear. “Tell me or I’ll test a theory here and now Carrie.”

Theory? What?

“When I said I had to go… you seemed relieved.” I couldn’t help but shift my weight when his hand slipped beneath my bra and pinched at my nipple.

“That makes no sense baby.” He presses against me again and this time I fall forward the front of my body is pressed against the door. “Tell me or I’ll fuck it out of you?”

Holy fuck!

“You said you and Harvey have a code. It reminded me of the fact I am one in many.” His free hand falls between my legs where I am soaking wet and so completely vulnerable. I have been trapped before and how he had me here in this position and desperate to be fucked was beyond me.

Was I becoming a masochist?

“Your right, you’re the exception and the rule baby. I have fucked a lot and I don’t deny it or hide it. Maybe I should show you the benefits of my experience. Then you can get a taste of all the shit I plan on doing to this hot little body of yours.”

I came right there. He had barely touched my clit and I lost myself to his words and the way I was trapped against him. I was disgusted and turned on at the same time. Chad felt me come, heard my cry and spun me before I could take a deep breath. “Fuck yeah Carrie.” He groans in appreciation to my orgasm.

“Something’s wrong…” I choke but the passion is dancing the Tango with my fear at the moment and it’s a Molotov cocktail to my mind and my sex. “I’m so confused!” I gasp when he slams two fingers inside me. He is reaching with his free arm in the dresser drawer next to the door. I hear a crinkle and then a jingle of change and trinkets of some kind as he slams the drawer.

He places the condom wrapper at my mouth and I know instinctively to open it. I bite down and twist my neck as Chad drops to his knees. He buries his face between my legs and starts licking me while he takes the condom from between my lips and stands back up. “Fucking wet as hell baby.”

He drops a rough kiss to my lips and it doesn’t last nearly as long as I would have liked. “One day I’ll teach you to roll these on with your mouth but not tonight.” He says and I watch between our bodies as he rolls the condom down. I can’t help but wonder why if he had been celibate for the last few months that he had condoms in his room? But I can’t even process the toxic thought when he thrusts inside me and yells my name.

He looks at me, his body cradled between my legs. His whiskey eyes looked passed my defenses and forced through any walls I intended to rebuild. Chad was here to stay. His look told me so… in a ‘back-the-hell-off-and-let-me-in’ kind of way.

He slid himself up my body, snapping his hips back before sliding against me again. I gasped at the feel of him thick and stiff against me, my wetness coating him making his slip and slide easier each time he moved. “Look at me Carrie.” He growled, and not like erotic growls he had spoken to me with earlier. Chad was angry and totally sexed up.

“I could be in a number of different women tonight.”

Whoa. Where the fuck did that come from?

I stiffened immediately and tried to pull back from him but he locked my feet under his hands and wrapped them around his hips and shoves inside of me again. My traitorous body made it ridiculously easy for him to slip deeply in me and though I wanted to curse said body, I was too busy trying hard not to moan, turned on by the forceful intrusion. What in the ever loving hell is wrong with me? This should literally have me in a panic attack, not about to come!

“Don’t flinch or fight me Carrie. I would never hurt you. If you want me out of you, just say the word.” He timed his words to a heavy thrust as he held himself deep inside me. When I said nothing he pulled back nearly slipping free of my body then snapping those narrow sexy hips, cutting into me deeper again. “I could be in a number of beautiful women. They would let me in, scream and shout in ecstasy and be just as gritty and dirty as I wanted then leave me with nothing more than a request for another night another time.”

Thrust.

“I have never wanted that.”

Sharp withdraw… thrust.

“I have wanted desperately to be here with you. Even if I were leaving with blue balls and a broken heart I would chose you over them.”

Thrust.

“I say again that you can take what you want from me.”

Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. And I gasp.

“Take everything that I am, because without you I am a vacant shell.”

Withdrawing almost entirely…

Still holding me against the door, only the thick cap of his erection inside of me he stayed there against my body, looking more intense then I had ever seen before. “There are many times I tried to walk away from you. To stop you from owning every part of me, and those moments flew out the window and blew far from existence the second you said ‘all in’. When I tell you to take what you want, that you own me, entirely. I mean it Carrie. I’m yours and you should feel free to touch me and demand from me anything you want. I am truly and utterly yours to have for as long as you let me in.”