Truly Married (29 page)

With one arm still around her he walked her past the desk where the receptionist sat looking both embarrassed and dismayed, then down the short hall and into a large, richly furnished office with a big picture window overlooking Lake Michigan.

“You have a new office,” she said breathlessly, remembering the smaller, cell-like one he used to have.

He grinned. “Yeah, I took over Newberry’s when he retired. Pretty impressive, huh?”

It was more than impressive. Luxurious would be a better description. For the first time Sharon realized that Fergus was a wealthy man. Not just comfortable, as they had been when they were married, but rich, as in having more money and property and even influence than he would ever need!

How could she have overlooked such an obvious fact? She knew lawyers made a lot of money, and Fergus was recognized as one of the top attorneys in the country. That should have clued her, but when he’d come back into her life she’d been so happy to see him, and so frightened and upset about the charges filed against her, that she hadn’t even thought about his financial situation.

What was she getting herself into? Would he think she only wanted to come back to him because of his wealth? It would be such a natural conclusion to draw—

“Sharon, answer me!”

Fergus’s raised voice broke into her thoughts, and she realized he’d been talking to her.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you let me know you were coming? Is something the matter?”

She also noted that he no longer had his arm around her, but had released her and put some space between them. He looked and sounded worried and impatient.

“Oh no, nothing’s the matter.” she quickly assured him. “I just wanted to talk to you. But the receptionist says you’re too busy—”

“I’m never too busy to talk to you,” he snapped. “If you don’t know that you should. What is it you want to talk about?”

Now she’d made him angry as well as taken up his valuable time. Couldn’t she ever do anything right?

“Fergus, I’m sorry. I should have made an appointment—”

“Appointment, hell!” he grumbled. “You don’t need an appointment to see me. All you need to do is tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you.”

“What will you give me, Fergus?” she asked softly.

With a groan he closed the space between them and again took her in his arms. “I’ll give you anything you ask for,” he said huskily, and rubbed his cheek in her hair.

“I want to go home with you?”

“Home?” He blinked with surprise. “You mean you want me to take you to my apartment?”

She nodded. “If that’s where your home is.”

Without another word he took her arm and led her out of the office. As they passed the reception desk he paused. “Cancel the rest of my appointments for today,” he told the woman.

Her eyes widened. “All of them?”

“Yes, all of them,” he answered as he ushered Sharon out.

It was only a short distance up Lake Shore Drive between the skyscraper that housed the firm and the one where Fergus lived. Sharon followed his car with her own, and in fifteen minutes they’d reached their destination.

Fergus unlocked his door and stood back to let her enter. One glance around convinced her that he must pay as much rent in a month as he’d earned in that amount of time when they were together. The living room was huge, and opened to include a dining area and a sunken recreation section that contained a giant-screen television, a book-lined wall, a state-of-the-art stereo system and a desk.

“I see you’ve moved up into the high-rent district,” she said in an attempt at lightness that didn’t come off. Her tone was filled with awe.

“I guess you could say that,” he replied, “except that I don’t rent, I own it. Can I fix you a drink?”

“I...I guess maybe you’d better,” she stammered.

He walked over to the black leather bar that took up one corner. “White wine?”

As she absorbed the high-priced luxury of his living quarters her determination began to ebb. “I need something stronger this time. How about whiskey on the rocks?”

Fergus looked doubtful, but reached for a bottle of bourbon. He poured a generous amount into two crystal glasses and added ice, then carried them both over to the black leather sofa that backed up to the glass wall overlooking the lake.

Sharon followed him and stood looking out. “The view is magnificent!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, and nodded toward the sofa. “Sit down.”

She did, and only seconds before her knees would have buckled.

He handed her one of the glasses, then sat down beside her. “Now, if you’ve run out of excuses for not telling me, I’d like to know why you came all the way to Chicago to see me. You’re not still being hassled by the police, are you?”

He sounded more annoyed than glad to see her. She never should have come. She’d suspected it would be a mistake, and apparently she’d been right.

“Nobody is hassling me,” she assured him, and took a sip of her drink. It was smooth and didn’t even burn when it went down. “It’s just that I...I have something I want to talk to you about, and I didn’t want to discuss it on the phone. I’m sorry that I’ve inconvenienced you.”

Fergus took a healthy swallow of his whiskey, then set it on the coffee table and turned to her. “Honey, I’m the one who’s sorry,” he said contritely. “I don’t mean to growl at you, but you shocked the bejesus out of me when I walked into the office and you practically fell into my arms. It was like an answer to an impossible dream, so just tell me why you’re here and end the suspense.”

She took another sip of her drink, then put it down, too. It was now or never, and no matter how painful and embarrassing it might be if he said he no longer wanted her, she had to try.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “First I need to ask you a question, and I want you to answer it truthfully. Don’t try to spare my feelings or feel guilty if the answer is no.”

He frowned and glared at her. “I always tell you the truth, Sharon. What is it you want to know?”

His green eyes bore into her blue ones, and she looked down, unwilling to let him see her fear and uncertainty. “Do you...that is, do you still want to marry me?”

She held her breath in the silence that followed. Why didn’t he answer? Or at least breathe? She was looking at his chest, and there was no in-and-out movement.

Slowly her glance moved upward. The blood had drained from his face, and there was a tightness in his expression, as though the skin had been stretched over his cheekbones. Their gazes met again and his eyes were cold and expressionless.

“Are you playing games with me, Sharon?” When he spoke his tone was as cold as his eyes.

“Oh no,” she moaned, and shook her head from side to side. “I’ve never played games with you, darling. I love you.”

His expression didn’t change. “I find that hard to believe.”

She reached out and put her hand on his cheek. His skin even felt cold. “You shouldn’t,” she said gently. “I’ve always loved you. Right from that very first day when you gave that lecture on civil rights at the rally on campus at the university. I don’t remember a word you said—I was too busy falling in love.”

His expression softened. “You were just a kid. Still young enough to believe in love at first sight.”

She stroked his cheek with her fingers. “I was nineteen,” she reminded him. “Old enough to fall in love, but too young to be discreet about it. I pursued you shamelessly. That’s where I made my first mistake.”

He reached for her hand and kissed her palm. “Oh no, you weren’t mistaken,” he said huskily. “You lit my fire the first time you approached me. It was right after I’d finished that lecture. You were so beautiful and bouncy and filled with the sheer joy of living. You came up to me, introduced yourself and put out your hand.”

He squeezed the hand he was holding and held it against his chest. “I took it and it was small and soft, but with a firm grip that tugged at my heart. At that moment something connected and sparked. Something I tried my damnedest to ignore, but then you asked if I’d have lunch with you. I looked into those deep blue eyes of yours and my resistance crumbled. I had an extremely important lunch date with a client that day, but I didn’t even take the time to cancel it. I followed you into that cafeteria like an eager puppy itching to be petted.”

She smiled. “And
were
you itching to be petted?”

He smiled back. “Damn right I was, and I still am. It’s an itch only you can scratch, and it never goes away.”

Sharon relaxed somewhat and slowly moved her hand caressingly over his chest. Maybe he did still want to marry her again after all. It was time to quit stalling and find out.

She leaned toward him and he took her in his arms and cuddled her against him. He was wearing a gray suit with a white dress shirt and a conservative blue patterned tie. The jacket was scratchy against her cheek and she unbuttoned it.

“Wouldn’t you like to take off some of these clothes and get comfortable?” Her voice sounded shaky.

He tightened his arms around her. “How many clothes do you want me to take off?” he asked, and he sounded shaky, too.

“As...as many as it takes,” she said.

He put her away from him, then removed his jacket and loosened his tie before reaching for her again. “Will that do?”

She snuggled close and liked the feel of his crisply ironed shirt against her skin. “For now,” she said, and raised her hand to finger his buttons.

She could feel his heart thumping and his rib cage rising and falling rapidly. Her own heart and ribs were doing the same thing, and she had to concentrate to unfasten the tiny buttons on his shirt. When it was open halfway down he caught her hand in his.

“Why are you doing this, Sharon?” he said gruffly.

She looked up at him, puzzled. He sounded as if he didn’t like it. “I want to make love with you,” she answered simply.

“Why?”

She blinked, and a cold dread enveloped her. He’d never objected before when she’d started to seduce him. “What do you mean, why?” It was more of a squeak than a question.

“I mean why do you want to make love with me? You were the one who insisted that having sex again would just be frustrating and upsetting, since there was no chance of a permanent relationship between us. Do you get your kicks out of tormenting me? Are you just trying to find out if you can still arouse me? If so, I’ll show you.”

He moved her hand from his chest to his crotch, then held it there. He was swollen and hard.

Shocked by his accusation, she pulled away from him and stood up. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve never proposed marriage to a man before. I’m so afraid you’ll say no, that you don’t want me anymore. Oh damn, I’m making such a mess of it—”

Fergus jumped up and caught her by the arm. He looked stunned. “You came here to ask me to marry you?”

Sharon nodded. “Yes. I knew you wouldn’t ask me again, and I couldn’t face all the rest of my life without you, but I... I’m afraid I’ve waited too long.”

He caught her other arm and turned her to face him. “Why do you want to marry me now, Sharon? You were most emphatic about turning me down when I left St. Louis.”

“I was an idiot.” She could taste the bitterness of her words. “I was looking for perfection in an imperfect world. I’ve been holding you up to an impossible standard—”

“No, that’s not true,” he insisted. “I’m the one who was flawed. You had every right to expect me to be faithful to our vows.”

“But you were faithful, weren’t you?” Had he lied to her after all?

“Physically, yes, but I did get emotionally involved with Elaine, although I never stopped loving you.”

Relief washed over her. “I know you didn’t,” she said, and she did know. “I think I’m also beginning to understand your feelings for Elaine. It was an unfortunate situation, but we all could have handled it better. The best thing we can do now is leave it behind and get on with our lives, and I’d like the rest of my life to be spent with you.” She paused and looked away. “That is, if you’re willing.”

“Willing?” he said huskily, and put his arms around her. “Willing doesn’t even began to cover it. I love you—I need you—I want you for my wife, the mother of my children.”

Sharon felt light-headed with pure joy as she flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart, I was so afraid I’d lost you.”

He pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck. “I never stopped loving you, my darling, and I never will. I hope someday you’ll be able to believe that, but—”

“I do believe it,” she assured him as she stroked his nape, “and that’s all that’s important. We can’t dwell on the past—we’ve got a future to build.” She rubbed her groin into his and they both shivered with desire. “You said something about babies?”

His hands on her buttocks held her intimately against him. “Yes, I did,” he murmured, “but only if it’s what you want, too.”

“You know it is,” she said shakily. “I told you so, and since we’re not either one of us getting any younger, could I interest you in getting started on that project?”

He raised his head and looked at her. “Right now?”

She smiled and kissed him. “I’m ready if you are.”

With a big grin, he swept her up into his arms and started across the room. “I’ve been ready ever since I walked into the office and bumped into you.”

She giggled. “Are you bragging or complaining?”

“Just telling it like it is,” he said, and walked through an open doorway into a big, luxurious bedroom.

He lowered her to the bed and followed to lay partially on top of her. Capturing her mouth with his own, he inched his hand up her thigh under the full skirt of her dress, sending tiny shock waves to the target he was aiming for.

She writhed and clutched at his back as his fingers brushed back and forth across the crotch of her panties and his tongue explored her mouth. “You’re wet and ready, too,” he whispered contentedly.

“You sound surprised,” she murmured as her tongue played with his ear. “You shouldn’t be. I never could resist you.”

His fingers probed under the narrow strip of material, eliciting a moan of pure ecstasy from deep in her throat. “Then we’d better get rid of some of these clothes,” he said, and rolled off her.