True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) (39 page)

I shake my head and bite back the emotion I feel creeping up on me. “That’s why I can’t love you back, Anna. My love will destroy you.”

Anna leans in and kisses my cheek. “You know that’s not true, right. No child is to blame for their parent’s sins, and what happened with your mom, that’ll never happen between us.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whisper. “It would kill me if I did.”

She lies down beside me and gazes up at me, and for the first time in a long time I feel safe again—safe, because this amazing woman loves me.

“It will kill
me
if I don’t get the chance to love you,” she says as she strokes my face. “I love you, Xavier. We can make this work. We can fight our demons together. You don’t have to be afraid of what we feel for one another.”

I close my eyes and lean into her touch. “I’ll try.”

I’m sure that’s not the answer she was looking for, but it’s the best I can give until I can wrap my head around this and make sure I can keep her safe from those demons.

Even if the demon she needs protection from is me.

T
he third time
backstage is a little easier, and I’m beginning to learn the ropes here quickly, just like I did at Larry’s. There are people back here who are best to avoid, while others, like Liv, are an absolute joy to be around.

In the catering room, I find myself sitting next to Liv and Kami. The other women stay clear of the two of us, like they have the past couple of times I’ve been in here.

Deena curls her lip in disgust at me as she passes by our table. I have the feeling as long as I’m with Xavier, she’s going to hold a grudge against me.

“She’s a treat, isn’t she?” Liv says next to me. “She’s just like the rest of them over there—conceited and stuck on their own appearances. That, and how much money their man spends on them.”

I shake my head. “That’s so superficial.”

Liv smiles. “That’s why I like you, Anna. You’re nothing like them. I have a feeling that’s how X feels too. The good ones get tired of that type sooner or later and look for quality.”

The mention of Xavier’s name makes me smile. Ever since he opened up to me the other night, I feel like we’ve grown so much closer. He’s yet to tell me he loves me back, but he seems to enjoy when I tell him how I feel about him, and that’s okay. After what he’s gone through, I’m amazed at the man he’s become today. Most people aren’t strong enough to overcome a past like that, and it gets the best of them, dragging them to low places they can never pull themselves out of.

I’m glad he trusts me enough to tell me what he went through. I firmly believe talking about things in your past is the first step to healing.

My cell buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to see Quinn’s name flash across my screen. “Sorry, Liv. I have to take this.”

I stand and walk into the hallway for some privacy. “Hello.”

“Hey, hot mama! I saw you on television the other night. You looked great. How’s things going?” Quinn asks.

“Good.” I sigh. “Xavier has worked it out so I get to go out to the ring with him every time he has a match.” I pause and think about how much I could use her with me here. I need her guidance. “I miss you, already.”

“Aww, I miss you too, but I’m so happy you’re out in the world, living your own life.”

I shove my hair back from my face. “My father came here, demanding that I go back to Portland with him.”

She gasps. “He didn’t? I take it you told him no? How’d that go?”

“It was intense. Father grabbed me, and Xavier shoved his hand away. I was worried for a minute for my father because Xavier can get crazy when he’s angry.”

“Girl, I know that’s the truth. Uncle Simon should know better than to try and lay his hands on you with your bodyguard around.”

I pick at my nails as I lean against the wall. “He knows now, I think. He left without much of a fight.”

“Honey, I know he’s your dad, but I have to say, I think you’re better off away from him. He’s too controlling. I don’t know why he always focuses on you and says nothing to your little brother.”

“Armando does everything he should. He does exactly what Father wants without question—I did too when I was his age. Once he gets out of high school, I think things will change for him.”

“Agreed,” she says. “You know, Anna, speaking of change, I have
major
news for you.”

I raise my eyebrows, completely curious as to what she’s itching to get out. “Oh? Do tell.”

“You’ll never guess who Andy fired last night…”

I stand a little straighter as I ask, “Who?”

“Alice,” she says with a snicker.

My eyes widen. “No way! Why?”

“Andy’s inventory was off on a lot of things. Apparently Alice was helping herself to bottles of liquor whenever she felt the need to take one home with her. Andy installed a surveillance system when none of us were in the restaurant because at first he didn’t know who was doing it, but then he saw Alice stealing, clear as day.”

Quinn takes a deep breath and sighs happily into the phone like Alice getting canned is the best news ever. “Andy says he knows now that it was probably Alice who took the money out of your apron pocket, and he wants you to know he’s sorry.”

Karma has a way of coming around and making everything right in the world. Alice is a cruel person, and I’m elated that her wicked ways caught up with her. Too bad it didn’t happen before I got fired for something she did. But, hindsight is twenty-twenty. If I hadn’t lost my job, I would never have taken Xavier up on his offer, and we wouldn’t be where we are now, working on our relationship.

“Tell him I accept his apology, but things happen for a reason. I’m happy where I’m at,” I tell her honestly.

“I’m glad things are going well for you.”

“Me too.” A thought crosses my mind. “How are things with you and Brock?”

“Well…” she giggles. “That’s actually the other thing I wanted to tell you. Brock and I are getting married.”

My mouth drops. “Oh, my! Really?”

“Yes!” she squeals. “I can’t believe it. I know it’s crazy, but I love him and I know he’s the one.”

“Wow! Have you told Aunt Dee yet?”

“Ma met him a few days ago, and she adores him. He was so sweet to Ma, Anna. I feel really lucky to have found him.”

“That’s great, Quinn.”

A short man with a buzz cut wearing a
Tuesday Tension
shirt approaches me and whispers, “Anna, the writers need to see you.”

I cover the receiver on the phone. “Okay.”

I move my hand. “Quinn, I have to go. We’ll talk soon.”

“Love you, Anna. Have fun with Mr. Sexy.”

I giggle and shake my head as I tell her goodbye.

I turn toward the man. “Lead the way.”

I follow behind him, unsure of what the writers could possibly want from me. It doesn’t seem like standing ringside to support Xavier requires too much guidance, but I’m sure this is just protocol. I know Xavier meets with them before every show, so I’m sure it’s nothing.

He leads me to a room and opens the door. “They’re waiting for you.”

“Thanks,” I say as I step inside.

The room has two large folding tables pushed against each other with four laptops set atop them. Three men and one woman type furiously, and I go completely unnoticed by them. I scan the rest of the room, unsure of who I’m here to see. My gaze flicks into the corner, and I take a step back.

Rex sits with a smirk on his face and pats the empty chair next to him. “Saved you a seat, Princess.”

The female writer looks up from her computer. “Hi, Anna, have a seat. We’ll be with you in just a moment.”

I do as requested, but I choose the seat on the other side of the empty one next to Rex. My entire body stiffens, every inch of me on edge. I don’t like having him so close, especially without Xavier knowing where I am.

The female writer finally spins around in her chair and faces me. She’s pretty, in that librarian kind of way, her dark hair pulled back in a low-set bun and her glasses resting low on the bridge of her nose.

The kind smile on her face relaxes me a bit. “Anna, I’m Vicky, the head writer of
Tension
. I wanted to meet with you to go over a couple of ideas I have for your character.”

I furrow my brow. “My character?”

“Yes, dear. Now that you’re a full-fledged member of our crew we’ve written a storyline for you. Your stage name is Anna Sweets, and you are Phenomenal X’s love girlfriend.”

I smile. I like that title. It’s fitting considering we’re official now. “Sounds good. Is that all?”

Vicky shakes her head. “You haven’t heard the best part yet. Rex approached me with an idea that will solidify the rivalry between him and Xavier. Something that will really get the fans involved.”

I readjust in my seat. Any idea of Rex’s cannot be good—especially when it involves Xavier. “So what’s the story?”

“You’re going to love this, Princess.” Rex winks at me, and my skin crawls.

“You are going to have an affair with Rex. It will drive Xavier into a jealous rage. Fans will love the intensity it brings,” Vicky says.

I shake my head. “No. No way will I agree to that.”

Vicky removes her glasses and carefully folds them before leveling her gaze on me. “You signed a contract, Anna, and this isn’t up for negotiation.”

I don’t like being backed into a corner.

“What if I refuse?”

“Then we fire you and escort you off the property. You won’t be allowed back into the vicinity at any of our shows.”

I attempt to clarify as my stomach clenches. “So, if I don’t agree to go along with this, I can no longer be backstage to support Xavier, in any manner?”

“Correct.”

I sigh and shove my hair back from my face. This will send Xavier over the edge, but what choice do I have? If I don’t go along with this, there’s no point of me being on the road with Xavier.

I hate it, but I don’t see any other way around it. Xavier will understand that it would all be an act, wouldn’t he. Wouldn’t it be worth it for me to be able to stay backstage with him?

I hope he sees it that way.

I stare at Vicky and do my best to pretend that Rex’s eyes aren’t boring into me. “I’ll do whatever you want, as long as Xavier gets to keep his job. He won’t allow all this to go down without a fight. I know him.”

Vicky smirks. “Mr. Cold doesn’t run things around here. If he tries to fight this, we’ll fire him. Everyone in this business is replaceable.”

“Including you?”

My snarky question leaves my mouth before I can stop it.

Vicky raises one perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Yes, even me. Now, if those are all the questions you have, we’re done here. Get ready. Your first kiss with Rex in the ring is tonight when he faces Xavier.”

“Fine, but it’ll be Rex’s funeral,” I say with my eyes leveled with hers.

Before I can say anything else, Vicky turns back around in her seat and begins typing again. Rex sits with a smirk on his face.

“We could practice that kiss first, if you’d like?”

He waggles his eyebrows at me, and my stomach turns.

“Dream on.”

I shove out of my chair and head for the door without a backwards glance.

Once I’m out in the hallway, I rub my forehead vigorously. How am I going to tell Xavier? He’ll lose his mind.

I head into the weight room—the one place I know I can count on finding Xavier. The man loves to push his body to the limits. Never in my life have I known a man as strong as him.

Xavier holds a bar in his hands, three large weights on each side, and his shoulders tweak up and down. I’ve learned during my time with him in here that this kind of training works his shoulders.

I sit on the bench in front of him, watching him work. After he finishes his reps, he sets the bar down and steps over it.

He plants his lips on mine. “Hey, beautiful, where were you?”

“With the writers,” I tell him honestly.

He twists his lips. “What did they want?”

I take a deep breath. “They gave me a character name.”

Xavier chuckles as he sits next to me and wipes his face with a towel. “What is it?”

I roll my eyes. “Anna Sweets.”

He laughs. “That’s fitting. Is that all they wanted?”

I shake my head and frown.

He slides his index finger under my chin and gazes into my eyes. “What did I say about frowning?”

My frown deepens. I can’t help it. I don’t want to tell him the truth, but I know I have to. It’s not like I can exactly keep this from him. “They wrote a storyline for me…and it involves a love triangle with Rex.”

“What?!” The roar in his voice is unmistakable, and I jump.

Instantly, he’s on his feet and although I grab his wrist, attempting to calm him down, it’s no use. I see the rage building in his eyes. “Please, calm down. Is there anyway we can get out of this?”

“You told them no, right?”

My mouth instantly goes dry. “I couldn’t.”

Pain flickers across his face. “Couldn’t, or
wouldn’t
?”

“Xavier…how…? I didn’t…do you think I want Rex?” I ask, flabbergasted that he could ever think that about me.

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been used by a woman, just to get ahead around here.” The coldness in his voice is unmistakable.

“Whether you believe it or not, I mean it when I tell you that I love you. I love you so much that it kills me to even think about being away from you. That’s why I agreed. Vicky told me that if I didn’t I would be fired and banned from coming backstage with you.” My voice shakes as my emotions threaten to get the best of me.

Xavier runs his hand through his hair. “This is horse shit!”

Before I can say anything else he darts out of the room.

By the time I get to the door, the hallway is empty. I head to the right and search every single room. After about ten minutes of searching I turn around and head in the opposite direction.

Five minutes later I find myself back at the catering room. I glance inside and start to turn away when out of the corner of my eyes I spot Xavier, only he isn’t alone.

Xavier stands beside the wall while Deena leans against it. My stomach clenches as I take in their seemingly intimate stance with one another.

Deena peers over Xavier’s shoulder and notices me standing there watching. To add salt in the wound she runs her hand down his bicep.

Xavier’s eyes widen as soon as he spots me.

Before I can stop myself, I storm over there and fling Deena’s hand off of him. “Keep your filthy slut fingers off of him!”

Deena raises her hands in surrender. “I’m not fighting you. I’m with the next champion now. You can have X for all I care.”

“Then remember that, and stay the hell away from him,” I say through gritted teeth. “Leave.”

Deena’s stare meets the challenge in my eyes. Finally, she huffs and then practically runs out of the room without a fight.

I’ve never been jealous like this before. I guess I don’t share well either.

I begin backing away from him, and he reaches for me, but I quickly swat his hand away.

“Anna! Wait!”

I don’t want to hear his explanation. I know what I saw.

I storm down the hall toward the exit, but he catches my wrist and spins me to face him before I can make it outside.