True Control 4.2 (5 page)

Chapter 11 HIM

I move my arm from around Lucy to grab her arm and turn her to me, not rough, not gentle. She drops her arms to her sides, but doesn’t look up into my eyes. “Look at me, little girl.” She does. Her usual responsiveness.

But Jake stands and moves to be next to us. I can see Dad coming back from closing the front door to join us too.

It’s like watching a bad movie. You can see everything happening, but you can’t make it better.

I let go of Lucy’s arm. “Where were you this afternoon?”

She doesn’t stop staring, but it’s Jake that answers. “I told you. Her purse was stolen and she was stuck in my old elevator.”

I move just my eyes from him to her. A few times. Dad is now on the other side of Lucy. A tight little circle. I laugh. “Not buying it.” I look at Lucy again. “Tell me where you were, Lucy. Now!” She jumps at the rise in my voice. Good.

But Jake is still interfering. “I told you…”

Dad shuts him down this time. “Jake. Stay out of this.” Lucy is the only one who doesn’t look at Dad. I can see Jake wants to argue, but he doesn’t say anything more.

“Answer me, little girl.” I say this quietly, in a deep demanding voice. One I know she’ll respond to quickly.

Chapter 11 HER

It’s my downfall. Not being able to lie to him. I thought I could. He’d see right through me. And this is my one chance to get him to see…

I swallow, not taking my eyes off him. “I needed to talk to Jake.” I watch as his face slowly melds…into the angriest face I saw one time before. Somehow made more horrible by the calmness, the lack of change in his body. It’s all on his eyes and lips. And I want to run again. My heart leaping into my throat, I have to hold back a cry. I put my hand to my mouth though.

But this time, we’re not alone. Jake sees this change too. I can feel him press a little closer. And Ron turns to face Max a little more.

How strange. I can hear every breath, feel every tension. How long have we stood like this? I start to see pops of bright lights in front of a darkening curtain. I stagger a little and feel hands on my arms. I look down and can’t tell if they belong to Jake or Max. Oh, I see…both.

I’m pulled towards a chair and sat down hard. I want to say, “Thank you,” but my mouth’s not working…all fuzzy right now. I cover my face and try to follow the words said behind me. But I really just need to breathe for a moment.

Chapter 12 HIM

Shit. She’s going to faint. I don’t drop my anger, but I grab her arm to stop her legs from buckling under. Jake grabs her other arm. I look from his hand on my wife to his face. He’s not letting go. We pull her over to the table and put her in a chair.

“What the fuck is going on, Jake?!” I can see Dad moving to stand near us again. I ignore him.

“She was scared of you.” Jake matches my tone, says this like it’s an accusation. An explanation. It’s not.

“So? She runs to you?!”

Jake lowers his eyes to Lucy’s head. I don’t need to look down to see that she’s trying to get her breathing under control again, covering her face and shaking. He tries for a calmer, more even tone, “She didn’t run to me, Max. She needed a friend to talk to. That’s all. I didn’t make it home…she got stuck in my elevator. That’s it.” He tries to shrug like this is no big deal.

My tone hasn’t changed. I’m only getting angrier. “Let me get this straight…she left here for her appointment, but instead went to
your
place…looking for
you
?” He only nods, keeping his eyes on me again. For a moment I can’t see beyond the red. I can’t believe any of this is happening.

My nightmare earlier tonight was someone holding Lucy for a ransom or taking her and…and hurting her. But this?! That she was with my own brother?!

Dad interrupts, “Jake…why would Lucy go to your place?” He’s angry too, but trying to sound calm like Jake.

Jake doesn’t look at him as he answers, just keeps staring at me, “I’ve been talking with Lucy…for a few months now…we’ve become
close
friends.” I don’t like the way he stressed the word. My jaw and fists clench harder. “She was scared about her doctor’s appointment today…and she needed a friend to talk to.” He repeats what he’s already said…it’s not an explanation!

Jake finally takes his eyes off me and looks at Dad. “She’s been scared for a while. She just needed…a friend…” Dad shakes his head slightly, but I can see that he’s out of words too. Jake fills in the silence again. “It was stupid. She knows this. She knows she shouldn’t have…” He glances at me, but lowers his eyes to her again quickly. “She would’ve been home sooner, if it weren’t for my elevator. I found her when I left here and brought her back as soon as I could.”

Dad sighs. It’s a sound we’ve heard before, with a look we’ve seen. It’s a resolute sound and look. He doesn’t like what he’s heard, but he’s done listening. So am I. I don’t wait for him to speak.

“Thanks for bringing my wife home where she belongs, Jake.” Sarcasm and anger mix to clip each word. He shoots me a look filled with volumes, but doesn’t say anything back. “Lucy.” She doesn’t move. I look down at her and repeat her name a little louder to get her to look up. “Go to our room.”

She pushes herself to stand, but Jake grabs her arm again, pulling her closer to him. “No.”

I narrow my eyes, anger taking a backseat to disbelief for a second. Only a second. “Get your hand off my wife, Jake.” I don’t move. I don’t need to, we’re all standing very close.

Jake drops his hand, but Lucy stays standing against his arm. My brother stares at me; I stare back. I’m pretty sure he wants to hit me. I know I want to hit him.

Dad breaks in, “Lucy. Go sit on the sofa.” No one argues with his commands. Lucy meekly moves two steps back and turns to the living room. I don’t take my eyes off Jake, but I see her sit on the edge, watching us. “Jake. Max. Sit.” We don’t move. “Now!” That did it. We both sit at the table, slowly, still staring at each other.

Chapter 12 HER

This is so much worse than I could’ve imagined. All three Traeger men, here, angry. All because of me. I want to cry and cover my face. But it’s a train wreck I can’t look away from…I have to watch, to stare.

Ron takes the seat I was just in, between Max and Jake. “This has been a long day for everyone. I have a few phone calls to make to clear up this mess.” His voice booms like Max’s. His anger a film covering everyone. “Max. You need to see to your wife. She’s obviously had some sort of shock or something today.” He speaks slowly, “She needs to be dealt with…
gently
tonight.” Max looks at him, but takes a while before he nods.

“Jake.” I watch as Max looks at his brother again; Jake turns to look at Ron. “You need to go home. And think about how your involvement here tonight only made matters worse…for everyone.”

“I’m not leaving until I hear Max say that he won’t hurt her.” I shiver hearing this. Jake is calm, but his voice has the same edge, the same steely grit as Ron’s. I want to jump up and run. I want to cower behind Jake. I want to beg Max to forgive me. I just want to hide really.

Max laughs. It’s a choked sound, sandpaper against bricks sound, “
You’re
trying to tell me what I can and can’t do, little brother?” Oh, God. This is only getting worse.

Ron puts his hand on both men’s arms on the table. “Enough.” I can see how he has an effect on them. Grown men, but they’re both still under his control. I can see myself in them, under Max’s control. Always. “Max, that detective is going to want to check on Lucy, to get a report tomorrow…it’d be best if you kept your anger in check right now, son.” Max again only nods.

Ron turns to Jake. “I told you to go home. Now.” Jake nods too.

He gets up and walks over to me, standing close, hiding me from them for a moment. He puts his finger on my cheek, tracing a tear I didn’t know was there. “I’ll call you tomorrow. You’ll be fine.” I only swallow in response, still too afraid to speak. My arms are wrapped around me, trying to hold my fear in, keep myself safe. It’s futile. But his words do make me feel better…it’s a lie, but I hold onto it.

He walks down the hall and I can hear the door quietly open and close. I can’t help but look back at the table. Ron and Max are both staring at me with the same look. Disgusted anger. Shocked anger. Furious anger.

I’m too frightened to move or breathe or blink. I just keep holding onto Jake’s words…I’ll be fine.

Chapter 13 HIM

I close the front door.

Dad stayed long enough to send Lucy to bed and make the calls he needed. I had to sit and listen as he explained that it was just an accident. That Lucy is fine and back home. No, no need to investigate anything. She was only trapped in an elevator for hours, but she’s fine now.

I had to listen to Dad laugh and charm his way out of the favors he pulled for me. The number of people he had already involved. He didn’t waste any time. If Lucy hadn’t shown up when she did, my house was minutes from being a full-blown TV-style crime scene investigation.

I sigh. I know he’s right. I have to keep my anger in check. Tonight anyway. There may still be questions to answer tomorrow. Too many people involved.

For his sake. For my sake. I can’t let my anger have control. If I punish Lucy tonight…I have to stop myself from thinking this. The images that pop into my head are too vivid. My hands ache to punish her!

I take a deep breath and walk down the hallway. I stop at our bedroom door. I can’t go in there. If I see her now…I won’t be able to stop myself.

I turn and walk into the guest room instead and close the door quietly.

Chapter 13 HER

I don’t remember falling asleep. I’m still in my clothes, on top of the covers. It’s late though. 3:00 a.m. I don’t need to roll over to know Max isn’t in bed. But the house is quiet. I don’t know where he is.

I get up and head to the bathroom. The lights hurt for a second, making me blink my puffy and red eyes. I splash more water on my face. Take off my clothes. Put on my robe and nothing else.

I don’t have a plan. I’m not really thinking. Just going on instinct. Maybe…

I quietly open the door. I can see the guest room door is closed. He must be in there.

I take a deep breath. Steeling myself. I can do this. I have no choice…I have to face him sooner or later…

I quietly open the door and hear his deep breathing. I hesitate. I second guess. Maybe I should just let him sleep…not wake the monster…I’m trying to joke to myself?!…so not funny!

I stand over the bed, putting my hand on his dark, soft waves. I gently rub his head, “Max…come to bed, sweetie…”

He’s awake in an instant, rolling over and grabbing me with him. He’s on top of me before I can even squeal at the sudden movement. “You want me to come to bed, baby?” I only nod. I don’t know if he can see me even.

I can’t see his face, his shoulders block the light from the hallway. But I can hear the edge in his voice still. I’d hoped waking him quietly, gently…a foolish hope that he’d respond gently too.

I feel his hand inside my robe, pushing it open. I can feel him hard against my leg already. I can’t help myself. My body is a traitor. I respond and arch to meet his hand between my legs. He roughly shoves two fingers in, his knuckles punching against me. I cry out, but he only repeats the slamming in and out several times. I know better than to try closing my legs. I’ve made that mistake before. I don’t resist. I just cry out with each thrust. He finally pulls his fingers out and I shudder with pain…and that traitorous wet excitement I always feel with his touch, good or bad.

“On your belly.” I try to obey, but my robe is trapped under us. He lifts off a little and I get my arms out. I slowly roll over. He grabs my hair and yanks my head back. “Spread your legs, whore.” He hasn’t called me that…not since that night. I know he thinks I betrayed him again tonight. I open my legs. He laughs. “You can do better than that.” I open further and he lets go of my hair.

“I’ll give you a choice, little girl.” I shiver hearing his words. I thought he’d move to be between my legs, not leave me exposed like this. “I promised not to beat you…tonight anyway. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t hurt you.” I muffle a little cry into the bed. “But I’ll give you a choice now. I plan to beat you with the buckle of the belt…up and down.” His fingers trace goose bumps from my legs to my shoulders. I shake and cry into the bed more. “But I’ll relent…only beat you with the leather…if you tell me now that you deserve to be fucked hard in your ass. Like a good little whore needs.”

Oh God. He did this on our honeymoon. I remember the pain. But…but he’s never hit me with the buckle before…I can’t take that…I can’t. “Please…”

“Please, what, little girl?”

I can’t say it. He’s made me beg for punishment before. He’s made me tell him exactly what I did wrong to deserve his anger. But this… “Please…”

“I’m losing patience, Lucy…you’ve just earned the buckle on your ass no matter what you say…wanna save your pretty back and legs that pain? Then tell me what you deserve, whore.”

“Please…do…do my bottom…” I know better than to curse, to say it the way he did. Even in my rabbit holed-brain, I know better than to anger him more that way. I push my mind away, trying to not feel his body move to be above me, between my legs.

But I feel everything. There’s no escape. He spreads my cheeks with his thumbs. I can feel the tip of his hard cock against me and I try to squeeze my body smaller, away. He laughs. “Go ahead. Tense up. I’ll only like it more.” He pushes a little, but not in. “I’m not going to make this easy on you, whore. I’m not going to make you wet. I want this to hurt.” He pushes in fast and hard.

I scream. I’m being ripped apart. A searing pain, I try to push up and get him off. I don’t have control over myself, it’s instinct to fight against this pain. But he doesn’t budge. His legs stay locked next to me, his cock buried deep. He shoves my arms down and holds me against the bed. “I like when you move. Pushes me in deeper.”

He pulls out a little and I cry more. He’s almost out and I take big gulps of air and hair, my face smashed to the side, my hair covering me. “Tell me you want it. Tell me you
deserve
it.”

I know he’ll only hurt me more if I disobey, if I try to resist. “I want it….I…I deserve…” my tears cover the last word. My cry strangles it when he shoves into me again.

He leans forward, pushing his cock down and making me cry out louder. With his lips gently against my ear, “Move your hips. Shove yourself against me.” I’m too shaky to do much, but I move my hips up, crying more. “Good whore. You do like it, don’t you?!” He kisses my ear and raises up. He thrusts in and out fast several times, then slows down. I can hear his breathing over my cries and grunts. I know he’s slowing down to stop himself from cuming too fast.

“Please…”

He stops, his cock deep in me. “Squeeze me then. Make me cum, whore.”

I shake my head against the bed. “Do it or I’ll cum now, get hard and fuck your ass all over again.”

“Please, Max…please…” But I close my eyes, squeezing them as much as my ass. I cry out, letting go.

“Again.” I don’t know how, but I do. My cries are constant, shaking the bed, us. I don’t know if I let go; it feels like I just hold onto him. A desperate embrace of sobs and pain.

I feel him explode, his legs rocking the bed and me. But he doesn’t get out. He stays in me, rubbing my head and back. When my sobs finally quiet. He leans over, pulling out and kissing me cheek through my hair, “That’s my good whore.”

He gets up and I roll over, waiting until he leaves the room to really cry. My body convulses with sobs. I don’t hear him when he returns. “Get up.” I jump at his voice. But my sobs are silenced. I shakily get off the bed, grabbing my robe. It’s still clean even if I’m not. I wrap this around me and slowly walk out. I feel my asshole is the size of my ass and I can feel his cum dripping out of me. I have to stop myself from throwing up. I take a few deep breaths before I walk into our bedroom.

He’s in the bathroom. I can hear the shower running. I walk in slowly. He’s already cleaning himself off. His beautiful hair slicked back, his muscled body bubbled with soap. He sees me and opens the door. His eyes are still hard, but he doesn’t say anything. I let the robe drop to the floor. I’m numb.

The warm water feels good for a moment, a shock against my numbness. He hands me the soap and turns away while I clean myself. I wince at the pain, trying to be gentle. When I turn around, he’s staring at me again.

But his face has changed a little. The anger’s still there. But so is pain. He’s had this look before. Like he wants to cry but he won’t let himself. “Why?!”

I don’t know how to respond to this. His voice takes on more volume over the water. “Why would you betray me like that, Lucy?”

“I...I’m sorry…I wasn’t trying…I didn’t mean to hurt you…” My voice echoes and I can hear how pathetic I sound. I’m hurt, but I’m the one apologizing to him. This is just the way it is with us.

He moves slowly to stand in front of me. He puts his hands on my shoulders, gently. But I don’ trust that he’ll stay gentle. I can see the dark anger, I can still hear it. His body is still tense. “Haven’t I always told you exactly what I expect of you?”

“Yes” This is true. From the beginning, he’s told me how it has to be with us. His demands were never a secret he hid. Jake’s right; I’m the one who’s been hiding.

“Then you know you’ve been very bad, little girl.” It’s not a question. I don’t move. He said he wouldn’t punish me today. But I’m suddenly very cold in the steamed shower.

He turns off the water and opens the door. I follow him out. He puts a towel around me and dries off my hair and back. He kisses my forehead and even smiles at me as he turns to get his own towel. I’m too numb, scared, confused…I don’t know what to make of any of this.

When he’s dry, he takes the towels and hangs them up. I watch as he gently takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom. I watch as he gets in bed, propped up on pillows and pats my side of the bed. I slowly get in. My butt still hurts and I wince as I put pressure on it, lying on my side quickly. He puts his arms around me and pulls me onto his chest more.

I’m still not trusting…but this has always been our routine. He punishes me, then comforts me. I’m used to kissing my own tears on his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my cheek. I put my hand up on his stomach and feel his breaths, his muscles. I can see that he’s aroused again under the sheet. I can feel my own body respond to his gentle touches. A damn lab rat in his maze, doing whatever I can for a piece of cheese!

I decide I have nothing to lose. If he’s going to keep his promise of not hurting me more, then it’s now or never. “Max?”

“Yes, baby.” He sounds almost sleepy.

“I…I don’t want to make you angrier with me…but…”