Treasure Fever! (7 page)

‘Get a grip, Newton,' said Jack. ‘We haven't even got the money yet and you're worrying about it being stolen!'

‘Yeah, Jack's right,' I said. ‘We haven't found the treasure yet. We need a plan.'

‘I have a plan,' said Gretel. ‘I say we start
looking for it right away,'

‘Good plan, Gretel!' said Jenny.

‘But what if people see us looking for it?' said Jack.

‘Good point, Jack,' said Jenny.

‘We'll tell them we're
not
looking for treasure,' said Newton.

‘Great idea, Newton!' said Jenny.

‘Newton's right,' I said. ‘It's important that we keep this just between us. This is our secret. It's not our treasure until we actually find it. Repeat the oath after me: “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.”'

Everyone repeated the oath, except for Newton, who got a bit freaked out by the bit about the needle. ‘A needle?' he said. ‘I don't want to stick a needle in my eye!'

‘Well, don't say anything about the treasure and you won't have to,' said Jack.

‘But what if I do it accidentally?' said Newton. ‘What if I say something about the treasure in my sleep?'

‘Do you talk in your sleep?' asked Jenny.

‘I don't know,' said Newton. ‘I'm asleep.'

‘Don't worry about it then,' said Jenny. ‘I'm sure you wouldn't have to stick a needle in your eye in that case, would he, Henry?'

‘No,' I said. ‘That would be okay.'

The bell for the end of lunch rang.

‘We'll start the search tomorrow,' I said. ‘And remember—this is our secret. Don't breathe a word to anyone.'

‘Good morning, class,' said Mr Brainfright cheerfully.

‘Good morning, Mr Brainfright,' we chanted back.

‘And it is a good morning,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘A particularly good morning to study history.'

The class groaned.

Maths was bad, but history was even worse. We'd been studying the history of Ancient Rome. Talk about tedious. Tedious maximus.

I'd tried to liven things up a bit by making a working model of the volcano that erupted and destroyed the city of Pompeii, but it hadn't worked out the way I'd planned.

I'd made the model volcano out of clay. It was hollow in the middle and to make real smoke and real flame, I'd stuffed it full of newspaper. When I lit it with a match during my class presentation,
real smoke and real flame came out of it all right.

In fact so much smoke and flame came out that it set off the fire alarm and we'd had to evacuate the school until the fire brigade came and gave us the all-clear.

Mrs Chalkboard wouldn't let me make any more model volcanoes after that, so I'd sort of lost interest in history. I wasn't alone.

‘Hands up if you don't like history,' said Mr Brainfright.

Everybody put up their hands.

Well, everybody except Fiona McBrain—but that was predictable. Fiona McBrain was interested in practically everything. So am I, actually—the difference is that I am only interested in
interesting
things. She was interested in boring things as well.

‘Okay,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Looks like we're outnumbered, Fiona. Who can tell me what's wrong with history?'

‘It's boring,' said Jack. ‘It's about boring old people who lived thousands of years ago and it's got nothing to do with us.'

‘That's where you're wrong,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘It's got
everything
to do with us. History isn't confined to thousands of years ago. It's happening all the time!'

‘How do you figure that?' said Jack.

‘Well,' said Mr Brainfright, ‘what did you have for breakfast this morning?'

‘Um . . . cornflakes,' said Jack.

‘That's history!' said Mr Brainfright.

‘No it's not,' argued Jack. ‘It was just a bowl of cornflakes.'

‘It's still history,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘It happened in the past and you're not a boring old person who lived thousands of years ago.'

‘Wow,' said Jack. ‘So this morning I made history.'

‘Not just you, Jack,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘We
all
made history today. In fact, we are making history all the time. We couldn't stop making history if we tried, because even if we tried to stop making history the very fact that we tried to stop making history would become the history that we were trying not to make.'

Mr Brainfright paused, breathless with the excitement of his history-making speech.

‘And not just this morning, either,' he said. ‘Your whole lives have been full of historical moments—moments that have never existed on Earth in quite the same way before and never will again.'

‘So when I cut my finger on the bread knife this morning,' said Jenny, ‘that was history?'

‘Yes!' said Mr Brainfright. ‘History! Who else has a historical moment that they can share?'

‘When my dad was helping me with my new chemistry set and we blew the roof off his workshop!' said Grant.

The class laughed.

‘History again!' said Mr Brainfright.

I thought of Principal Greenbeard as a kid, hiding his treasure. That was history, too.

‘Will we be tested on this, sir?' said Fiona, who was furiously taking notes, just in case.

‘Who can say what's going to happen next?' said Mr Brainfright. ‘I don't know, but I can't wait to find out! Does anybody else have any historical moments for us?'

‘When I had a spider in my bedroom and my mum stood on a chair and tried to catch it in a glass but one of its legs was too long and it got cut off and fell onto the carpet and it
wriggled
,' said Newton.

The whole class let out a squeal of disgust.

‘When you fell out the window yesterday during our “how to breathe” lesson,' I said.

‘Now that's what I call history!' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Who knows? In two thousand years students might be studying my fall out the window as part of their history class. They might even stage re-enactments!'

‘Cool!' said Jack. ‘I love re-enactments!'

‘Me too!' said Gretel.

‘So do I,' said Fiona, ‘as long as they're historically accurate and not just an excuse to play dress-ups for the fun of it.'

‘Life is an excuse to play dress-ups just for the fun of it, Fiona,' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Hey, I've got a great idea. Why don't we stage a re-enactment of yesterday's fall right now? We're all wearing historically accurate costumes. It will be just like going back in a time machine!'

‘I don't think that's such a good idea,' said David. ‘You could have been seriously injured yesterday.'

‘But I wasn't, was I?' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Thanks to the quick thinking of the class. Okay, now where were we?'

‘You were over by the window,' said Fiona, reading from her notes.

‘About here?' said Mr Brainfright.

‘A little bit more to the left,' said Fiona.

Mr Brainfright moved to the left. ‘Like so?' he said.

‘Yes,' said Fiona. ‘And then you said, “But I don't see why just breathing isn't enough fun for you. I love breathing. The more fresh air the better!” After that, you stuck the top half of your body out the window.'

‘Like this?' said Mr Brainfright, putting the whole top half of his body out the window.

‘Yes,' said Fiona, ‘just like that. And then
you said, “Breathe in . . . like so!” and—Mr Brainfright?'

But Mr Brainfright didn't respond. And there was a good reason for that. Mr Brainfright had just fallen out the window—again!

For a moment the class was silent.

And then there was complete uproar.

Newton squealed.

‘Déjà vu!' said Jack.

‘You can say that again,' I said.

‘Déjà vu!' said Jack.

‘Stop being silly!' said Jenny. ‘This is no joke!'

We ran to the window.

The toes of Mr Brainfright's shoes were in exactly the same place as yesterday.

I grabbed his left ankle.

‘Gretel!' I yelled. ‘Grab his other leg! David, put your arms around my waist. Everybody else take your positions exactly as you were yesterday!'

‘I told him this would happen!' said David.

‘That doesn't change the fact that it's happened!' I said.

‘But I
did
warn him,' said David.

‘Just give me a hand, will you?' I yelled. ‘This is serious!'

‘No,' shouted Mr Brainfright, ‘this is history!'

I pulled on Mr Brainfright's leg as I waited for the rest of the class to get into place.

He felt heavier than yesterday.

I pulled harder.

But I was losing him.

Instead of pulling him into the classroom, he was pulling
me
out the window!

‘Gretel!' I said. ‘Help me!'

‘I'm trying!' she said, but I could see the same thing was happening to her.

Slowly but surely we were
both
being pulled out the window . . . And then suddenly we weren't halfway out the window—we were
all
the way out the window!

I was upside down, face into the wall, hanging from the window ledge by my toes.

Gretel was beside me in exactly the same position.

We were both still holding onto Mr Brainfright's legs.

And then Mr Brainfright started laughing.

Now, I like Mr Brainfright.

I like him a lot.

But I was seriously starting to worry about his mental health.

‘Are you feeling all right, Mr Brainfright?' I said.

‘Never better!' he said.

And then the strangest thing happened.

Gretel and I started laughing as well.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was a terrifying situation to be in, but his laughter was contagious.

Meanwhile, above us, I could hear the class arguing about what to do.

‘I warned him!' David was saying. ‘I warned them all!'

‘Stop being such a know-it-all,' said Fiona.

‘You should talk!' said David.

‘I don't think this arguing is helping,' said Jenny. ‘We should be working together to help them.'

‘Wow!' said Jack. ‘This is the best history lesson ever!'

‘Hey!' I yelled, between giggles. ‘If it's not too much trouble, could somebody actually
do
something?'

‘What do you suggest?' called David. ‘You're too heavy for us to pull in.'

‘How about you get a video camera and film us for the funniest home video show?' said Gretel.

‘No need to be sarcastic,' said David.

‘I wasn't,' said Gretel. ‘I love the funniest home video show and I've always wanted to be on it.'

‘Get a ladder!' I yelled. ‘Call the fire brigade! I don't care what! Get Grant to put his flying boots on!'

‘They haven't been tested yet,' said Grant. ‘It would be too dangerous.'

‘No more dangerous than the situation we're already in!' I said.

‘Then why are you laughing so much?' said Jenny.

‘I don't know,' I said. ‘Why are we laughing, Mr Brainfright?'

‘Why not laugh?' said Mr Brainfright. ‘We might as well enjoy ourselves.'

‘But we could die!' said Gretel.

‘All the more reason to enjoy ourselves while we still can!' said Mr Brainfright.

And then we fell.