Travis (16 page)

Pulling
back, Travis allowed a little space between them, but he kept his hands where
they were. He wasn’t ready to let go of her. Not yet. Not after ten miserable
years of aching to feel her soft, smooth skin against his fingertips. A full
decade of trying to lose himself in both women and men, desperate to find even
a trace of what he found with this woman.

God
help him. He had to kiss her.

Without
thinking, Travis leaned closer, letting his mouth brush hers gently, his tongue
easing between the seam of her lips until she opened for him. As soon as the invitation
presented itself, Travis delved inside, pulling her to him as he shifted so
that he could go deeper, taste more of her. The soft little moan that tore from
her throat spurred him on, and it wasn’t until she whimpered that Travis pulled
away.

As
he continued to cup her head in his hands, they stared at one another. The look
of disbelief on her face contradicted the hazy lust he could see in her eyes.
She wanted him. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but she was more
cautious than he was.

“You
couldn’t tell me this before you married me?” she asked long seconds later, her
voice dripping with incredulity.

Bucket.
Ice water. Thank you very much.

That
caused him to let her go.

“And
what would you have told me, Kylie? Would you have put your arms around me and
said that it was all right for me to feel like that? That you’d be willing to
share me? Share yourself with another man?”

That
statement hit home for her because her eyes widened as realization dawned. He
gave her a minute to work out the details in her head before he asked his next
question.

“Why
didn’t you divorce me years ago? Why now?”

Even
when Kylie glared at him with contempt, she was still the most beautiful woman
he had ever seen. From her heart shaped face, her pretty bow shaped lips, and hair
so golden brown it sparkled, the woman was heart wrenchingly beautiful.

Kylie
glanced down at her hands, then back at his face.

“I
didn’t have the money,” she mumbled, glancing out the window as she paused on a
breath. “I
didn’t
want to see you again. I
did
want to see you
again. I... You name it, Travis. I came up with one excuse after another for
the last decade. I didn’t want to face you again because I wanted to see you so
bad it physically hurt.” She paused. “It still hurts.”

Her
honesty humbled him. She sounded sad, yet stoic. “I’ve thought about you every
day since then,” he told her, glancing out the front window so that he didn’t
have to look into her eyes as he said the words. She had a way of slaying him
with just a look.

No
one who knew him would ever say that he was much of a talker. In fact, Travis
was pretty sure he’d said more today than he had in the entire past week. Kylie
brought that out in him. He remembered the times they spent together when they
were both much younger and although he didn’t share much about himself
personally, he found it easy to talk to her about certain things. It just felt
right.

Back
when he first met Kylie, he spent hours talking to her. They talked about where
she grew up, her parents, his parents, her sister. They talked about so many
things, yet he somehow managed to make sure she never got too close. He’d been young,
stupid and downright scared shitless about the military. Not that he would admit
the last part to anyone. And when he found himself in the arms of the sweetest,
most beautiful woman in the entire world, he allowed himself to think it could be
forever. That she might just be the one woman who could change him. At the very
least, the one woman who could accept him.

Except,
he never gave her the chance.

So,
instead of letting Kylie into his life, he managed to keep her out. Entirely.
Looking at her now, Travis couldn’t help but wonder why. Ever since Gage
brought her to Kaleb’s house, he’d been wondering the same thing.

Just
the sight of her stirred up old feelings that he would prefer to keep inside
the closed book that contained all of the stories of his past. The problem was,
there were so many feelings coursing through him, Travis didn’t know which way
was up. His ideas on how a relationship – his relationships – would work
weren’t the same as others.

As
much as he wanted to think a relationship with Kylie could be normal, Travis
knew that wasn’t the case.

Wanting
her had never been the issue.

Keeping
her was.

♀♂

Kylie’s
head was spinning. Between the sexy, seductive scent of him washing over her,
along with the explanation she had waited to hear for so long, and then the
kiss…

Kylie
suddenly – and inexplicably – wanted to jump his bones.

There
was a myriad of emotions churning in her – sadness, hope, frustration. Desire.
Yes, definitely lots and lots of the last one. They all swirled together
confusing her about what she was doing here. How she got here. And it had
nothing to do with the drive from Killeen.

Just
that morning, she woke up with the sole purpose of seeing Travis so she could
understand what made him walk out on her all those years ago. The bottom of her
life had been ripped out from beneath her feet just three weeks into what was
supposed to be a marriage to the man she’d given her heart and soul to. And now
she was here, reliving it all over again.

Although
life altering, his explanation was not what she thought it would be. She had
expected him to admit that he was gay and to tell her that he was in love with
Gage – though she didn’t think that would’ve been the case back then.

That
didn’t happen.

No,
this was Travis Walker. He had to be much more complicated than that.

Without
a doubt, she knew she should be coming to terms with the end of their decade
long ghost of a relationship. Travis was offering her explanations, but for
some reason, hope was swelling in her chest, making her want things she knew
she shouldn’t want. The kiss didn’t help because… well, because it rocked her world
even if she had to pretend otherwise.

If
it weren’t for all of the things she had recently learned about Travis, thanks
to the many articles she’d read on the internet, Kylie would swear he was the
same man she met so long ago. Handsome, surly, and vulnerable beneath all of
the rugged exterior. And to top it off, from what she could tell, Travis was
just as confused now as he was then.

Only
now he wanted to talk.

And
she was hanging on every word, trying to wrap her mind around what he was
saying. His reasoning was not at all what she expected. Granted, Travis was
still just as cryptic as always. Despite the additional pieces she was trying
to work into the scrambled puzzle of the worst time of her life, Kylie still
had a hard time rationalizing what he was saying.

Saddened
by her wayward thoughts, she stared out the window, watching as the sky
darkened even more, the dark water in front of her crashed against the bank as
the wind picked up, a storm threatening. The tension inside of the truck seemed
to be churning in much the same way.

She
wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but at least she knew one thing
for sure... It didn’t matter how much time had separated the two of them, Kylie
still wanted Travis with a passion she couldn’t deny.

The
foregone look of regret on Travis’ face had Kylie holding her breath and
wishing that there might be a chance for something good to come out of this.
Although she couldn’t quite wrap her head around what he was telling her, it
was more than she’d ever seen from him, even when they spent the better part of
a year getting to know one another.

Or
rather he spent that year getting to know
her
. Little did Kylie know at
the time, but Travis hadn’t shared any part of himself with her. He’d purposely
left out so many personal things and seeing how he was acting now, he’d held
back emotionally as well.

She
was confused and more than a little angry. Which emotion was more prevalent,
she wasn’t sure either. Hearing that he was bisexual and that she wasn’t the
reason he walked away had lifted a weight the size of Texas right off of her
chest. But his revelation didn’t make it any easier to understand what that would’ve
meant for them. She couldn’t shake the thought that had he talked to her, they
might’ve had a chance.

No
matter what came out of this conversation, Kylie was relieved that Travis had
finally given her what she felt she deserved all those years ago. An
explanation would’ve made it easier. Maybe. Ok, probably not, but she had to
believe that it would have helped to justify his reason for walking away.

Hearing
the words – ménage, polyamory – she knew what they meant. She wasn’t as naïve
as people liked to believe. She read books. Some very interesting books, and
like many women, those things did funny things to her insides, even if she
wouldn’t be the first to admit it.

She
had to give him some benefit of the doubt, although it pained her to do so. At
eighteen, she hadn’t been emotionally equipped to make the life altering
decision to marry him in the first place, but he somehow trusted her enough to
let her. Still he hadn’t trusted her enough to share his true self with her.

Would
she have freaked out? Probably.

Would
she have been prepared to share him? No, not at the time.

If
things were different, would she be prepared to share him now? She couldn’t
answer that question. She had never found herself in a position to make a choice
like that. And when all was said and done, Kylie didn’t know enough about him
to be able to say one way or another. Hell, she didn’t know enough about him to
decide whether she’d want to be with him if he weren’t bisexual.

She
did know herself though and Kylie wasn’t the same girl she was back then. Where
Travis had stayed the same for all these years, still looking for something he
thought was out of his reach, Kylie had changed in ways Travis would never understand.
Broken hearts to the extent she’d experienced tended to make people do strange
things. Kylie’s shattered heart had qualified.

They
sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them staring out into the bleakness
that consumed the choppy waters. From the looks of it, the sky was going to break
open at any moment. It seemed somewhat fitting, considering her heart felt the
same way.

When
the urge to get closer to him overcame her, Kylie opted to go with it this
time, rather than ignore it. At this point, she was risking everything, and for
some reason, just as it had been ten years before, she was drawn to him.

Unbuckling
her seatbelt, Kylie turned to face Travis as he stared out into the ever
darkening sky, purposely not looking at her. He must’ve noticed her moving
because he glanced her way, but didn’t turn his head, which she took as a good
sign. He was aware of her the same way she was aware of him.

Without
asking permission and without explaining anything, Kylie kept moving, unable to
stop herself until she was straddling Travis’ lap, the steering wheel jarring
into her back. There wasn’t enough room, but suddenly she was adamant that she
make this work.

“What
are you doing, baby?” His words were a raspy, a soothing balm to her
overexcited nerve endings. He called her baby. She’d always loved when he
called her that.

“I’m
getting closer.”

He
didn’t ask why, and he didn’t argue, which Kylie was grateful for. If he were
to push too hard, she’d lose her nerve, and right then and there, she just
wanted to put her mouth to his and get lost in his kiss.

She
was somewhat disappointed when he didn’t make the first move, but she held out,
keeping her eyes locked on his.

“I’m
willing, Kylie. Don’t doubt that,” he whispered. “But you’re gonna have to take
what you want, baby.”

He
didn’t have to tell her twice.

With
trembling fingers, she removed his hat, setting it on the dash behind her to
keep from crushing it. Kylie slid her hands along the chiseled edge of his jaw,
letting the dark stubble scratch her palm as she eased her hands behind his head,
twining her fingers in the cool, silky strands of his hair. Pulling him
forward, she met him halfway until their mouths met, joined. The kiss was heart
wrenchingly sweet and explosive all at the same time and Kylie found herself
drowning in the remembered taste of him.

God
how she had missed him. For so, so long, she’d dreamed about what it would be
like to be in his arms once again. To hold him close, to feel his lips against
her skin. After long, delectable minutes, Kylie pulled back, hoping he was going
to take the reins because honestly, she had no experience with this. Being the
aggressor didn’t come easy for her, but she was trying.

“I
want to taste your skin,” he groaned. “I want to hold your breasts in my hand
and suck your nipples until you’re begging me for more.”

Kylie
pulled her hands back from his hair, quickly and easily unhooking the small
buttons on her blouse until she could lower it down her arms. Somewhere through
the short time they’d been together, her inhibitions had turned into smoke and
wafted away on the sultry summer breeze.

“Just
like that,” Travis said as he stared at her chest, his hands coming up to touch
her.

Sucking
in a breath and exhaling a moan, Kylie got lost in the feel of his warm,
callused fingers against her skin. The way he palmed her breasts in both hands
before lowering her bra until the sensitive mounds spilled over the top, her
nipples hardening just from the way he was looking at her.

“You’re
still just as perfect. But I knew you would be. I’ve waited so long to do this
again. So long.”

Kylie
didn’t think Travis was even talking to her, but the words kept coming until he
pressed his lips to the puckered tip, sliding his tongue slowly in a large
circle. When his eyes darted up and met hers, he wrapped his lips around her
nipple and sucked, making her moan, her head going back as a bolt of
electricity sparked from her nipple to her clit.

Yup,
inhibitions have left the building.
Placing her hands on
the back of his head, she held him close to her breast, unwilling to let him go
as she ground her hips down, the evidence of his arousal pressing between her
legs.

“Travis.”
His name fell from her lips as he rocked his hips in rhythm with hers, a
delightful friction that had her body catching fire, getting closer and closer
to release despite the fact they still had their clothes on.

“Say
it again,” he urged as he switched, applying the same fastidious attention to
her other breast.

She
was so overwhelmed with pleasure that she couldn’t get the word out.

“Say
my name again, Kylie. I’m begging you. Say it.”

The
plea in his tone ripped her to shreds and Kylie pulled his head up, pressing
her lips to his. “Travis,” she breathed his name against his mouth, then slid
her tongue in behind it. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

Travis’
mouth trailed heavenly warmth down her neck, over her collarbone, until once
again he was laving her nipple with his tongue. When the windows began to fog,
and the air conditioner was failing to cool them down, Travis released her
breast from his mouth, staring up at her as she continued grinding against the
hard ridge of his erection.

His
hips began to rock more insistently as he gripped her ass, pulling her closer
as the friction intensified and Kylie didn’t slow down. Grinding down harder,
she let the friction against her clit drive her higher… Higher.

“That’s
it, baby. Come for me. You’re so damn sexy.”

“Travis.
Oh, yes. Oh...
Travis
!” Kylie couldn’t hold back, couldn’t stem the
violent eruption that started in her core and shot out through her arms, her
legs, her fingertips.

“You’re
so fucking beautiful when you come,” he whispered against her ear as he held
her close, obviously realizing that she desperately needed him to hold her
together. She just wasn’t sure he realized exactly how close she was to falling
apart.

Dear
God, what had she done?

Not
five minutes later, Kylie had regained some of her composure. Not much, but
some. She managed to slip off of Travis’ lap and drop into the seat beside him,
not bothering to move to the other side closer to the door. His big hand landed
on her thigh, squeezing gently as he leaned his head back against the seat, his
eyes closed. She wondered whether he even realized he was doing it.

“Thank
you,” she whispered.

“For
what?”

“For…
that.”

His
sexy chuckle echoed in the small space. “Baby, it was my pleasure.”

Neither
of them said anything more for several minutes as their breaths slowed, became
more regulated. Before she could ask him what they were supposed to do at that
point, Kylie saw movement out of the corner of her eye, followed by the throaty
rumble of an engine. Turning slightly, she saw a white Chevy truck pulling down
toward the bank. The truck was familiar, and the identity of the driver,
although she couldn’t see him through the rain splattered window, was confirmed
when Travis cursed under his breath.

Hmmm,
now if that wasn’t perfect timing.

Gage
Matthews.

As
if her day couldn’t get any worse.

“Stay
here,” Travis ordered her seconds before he slipped out of the truck, grabbing
his hat from the dash before he left.