Tracing Holland (NSB Book 2) (24 page)

I grin. “Well, that’s good, because I’m not good at anything
else.”

She doesn’t smile, still considering, still searching my
eyes. “No, that’s not what I mean. I’m not talking about your job or career. I’m
talking about history. I’m talking about the way your music changes the people
it touches. The world needs it, Luke. It needs your gift.”

My smile fades as her words overwhelm me. I don’t know what
to do with them. I don’t know how to return something so beautiful, so
precious. Instead, I find myself doing the only thing I can, giving her my
heart with a kiss that unhinges both of us.

A moment ago I was ready to fall asleep and now every cell
in my body is blazing with life. I can barely hear the TV blaring behind us as
I lean over her, our kiss intensifying from sweet to
all-consuming
.
Every muscle in my body tenses, straining with hunger for this woman, and when
she rips at my shirt, I help yank it over my head. Her impatient hands climb my
arms, my bare chest, wrapping around my neck and forcing me into her. She can’t
get enough, and neither can I when she tortures me further by shrugging off her
own clothes.

There is nothing gentle about our contact now. We are
fighting for each
other,
our bodies colliding in that
natural rhythm that makes you forget your own existence. She’s all there is at
this moment. Holland Drake. Beautiful. Talented. Compassionate. Driven. Honest.
And completely mine, for no reason I will ever understand.

Her hands grip my hair, pulling me toward her with the same
force pushing me. We’re completely lost now as I explore her, drawn to every
curve, every addictive gasp from her lips that vibrates through me as she
reacts to my touch. My mouth finds hers again as she fights the button on my
jeans, just wrecking me when she wins. Her merciless grasp only makes me burn
hotter, destroying my ability to focus on anything but her. I can’t even think
straight.

We own each other. We need each other.

“Please tell me you brought protection,” she breathes, and I
grin against her lips.

“Front section of my suitcase.”

“Good. Go!”

I need no more encouragement, and love that she can’t even
wait for me to return. She follows me, nearly driving me to distraction before
dragging me back to our desperate contact the second I succeed. Her perfect
body is fully exposed now as she pulls me on top of her. She’s a dream. She has
to be.

“Have I ever mentioned how gorgeous you are?” I murmur,
almost paralyzed when her beautiful eyes search mine. But we’re in no state for
words, and drive back into each other with renewed desperation. This time, I’m
ready for the assault on my nerves and surrender to every thud of my pounding
blood. It’s blistering through my veins now, consuming me,
propelling
me toward her with an urgency she meets in an agonizing, magnificent, mutual
ache. I’m completely abandoned to her.

Her groans, her reckless grip, is gasoline for the fire I
already can’t control, and I find myself obsessed with taking her wherever she
wants to go, with making myself the only presence in her universe. I want her
to explode, to make her body plead for mine. To draw her to another place,
another level of ecstasy. She’s as wrecked as I am, I can see it, sense it in
every arch, every surrender of her trembling form. It’s devastating my own. I
can’t think, I can’t breathe. I just have to be part of her.

“Luke…” she can’t speak as another gasp takes her breath
away, then another, but I don’t need guidance. I understand this woman. Every
line, curve, and cell just makes sense to me. She pulls hard, her hips begging
with a force that unleashes everything left of the explosive power reserved for
her,
this
one woman I never saw coming. She meets me
in perfect harmony, just as lost as I am.
Both of us completely
annihilated by the volatile connection.
Beautiful, dangerous,
breathtaking.

I’m still fighting for air as we finish and I gaze into her
face, so beautiful in that moment I can’t look away. She grins, releasing a
content sigh that echoes deep into my soul.

“Ok, wow,” she whispers, curving her hands around my arms as
I balance over her, still staring in awe.

I return her grin and give her another kiss.

“Hang on. I have to just stare at you for a moment,” she says
with a sly look, and I laugh.

“Um…”

She pulls my head down and kisses me again. “Sorry. It’s
that stupid
Pavlovian
thing!”

I grin, and collapse on the mattress beside her, completely
content for one of the first times I can remember. We’re quiet for a long time
as we lie close, but it’s not awkward, just perfect peace after the raging
storm.

“You’re getting better, you know,” she teases after a moment,
interrupting the formerly pleasant silence.

My gaze shoots over to her in disbelief, and she laughs at
my expression.

“I’m kidding!” Her eyes dance as she takes my hand and brings
it to her perfect lips.

I shake my head with a grin. “You really know how to give a
guy a complex, I swear.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh yeah, because I clearly didn’t like what
just happened.”

I laugh again, and lean back on the pillow. “You know, please
feel free to tell me how much I rocked your world. Anytime now would be good.
My ego can handle it, I promise.”

It’s her turn to laugh as she turns and props herself up on
her elbow. “So that’s it, huh? That’s what does it for you? To finish and have
my big blue eyes stare into yours.
Husky, post-sex voice all
gravelly and desperate…‘Yeah, baby.
Thanks for
rockin
’
my world.’”

I almost choke, and she giggles as I wrestle her back against
the pillows.

∞∞∞

We have
food sent up and are working our way through another cooking competition when
Holland’s phone buzzes to life. She glances at the display, and there’s nothing
I like about the way her expression darkens.

“What is it?” I ask, and she almost seems startled at my
voice as she glances up. She waves her hand dismissively but I don’t buy it for
a second.

“Oh, nothing.
Just stupid stuff.
Ok, so is there any way you would actually eat that sea urchin aioli the bowtie
dude is making?”

I don’t want to call her out on the lie, but I really
couldn’t care less about sea urchin aioli at the moment. When her phone starts
going again, and again, and again, I’ve had enough. “Holland, what the hell is
going on? It’s obviously not nothing.”

She bites her lip and glances back at her phone.

“Holland, come on. After everything I’ve dumped on you?”

She sighs. “It’s not that. I’m not hiding anything from
you…it’s…”

I curse, suddenly so angry I can barely stay seated. “It’s
Wes, isn’t it? He’s been harassing you since you left Philly with me!”

She shrinks a bit, and I swear my head’s about to explode.
“Luke, please, he just doesn’t understand!”

“He doesn’t understand? What’s there to understand? All he
needs to understand is that it’s none of his damn business and he needs to back
the fuck off!”

“Luke, calm down! This is why I didn’t say anything! Please
don’t be upset with me, I just…”

I freeze, immediately softening and moving to her side. “Whoa,
hang on. Holland, I’m not upset with you.” I take her hands and force her to
look at me. “I just can’t stand the fact that he’s making your life miserable
because of me. I don’t want you to have to fight this battle on my behalf. He
took me on directly at that club, and that’s the way it should be if he has a
problem with me, ok? That’s all. I don’t like you being caught in the middle.”

I can’t tell if she’s convinced, but I know I’m not resting
until she is. “Holland, please, just give me his number. Let me talk to him.”

“What? No. No way.”

“Just let me talk to him. Please! Let me do this for you.”

She shakes her head. “No, Luke. Thank you, but I really don’t
think it’s a good idea.”

I grin and almost laugh. “No, of course it’s not. It’s a
horrible idea! Just, let me try. I have to.”

She looks away. “Seriously, Luke, I appreciate it, I just
don’t see any way out of this one. He hates you because he doesn’t understand.
He will never see you the way I do.”

I sigh. “That’s because all I’ve ever given him is what he
expected.”

Her eyes shoot to mine, and I hold out my hand. “I know it
could be a disaster, but let me try. Please?” I draw in a deep breath. “Just
one shot, that’s all I’m asking.”

“What are you going to do? What could you possible say to
fix this?”

I shrug and shake my head. “I don’t know yet, but I do know it
has to stop.” I pause and look in her eyes again. “I’m not giving you up,
Holland, so either we deal with this, you let him go, or we continue fighting
this battle forever. Ultimately, it’s your choice, but I vote for dealing with
it.”

“Ugh. Fine,” she grumbles, logging into her phone. “I hate
when you’re logical. It’s so annoying.”

I grin and reach for it, but she hesitates. “You’re sure?
You’re absolutely sure you want to do this? After everything you just went
through at that nightmare of a barbeque, you now want to deal with this too? We
can tackle it later, Luke.”

I shake my head and grab the phone from her. “I’m sure.” I
click on his name and take a deep breath when the line connects.

“Holland?”

“No, it’s Luke.”

“What? You bastard! Why do you have her phone?”

“Because it’s me you need to be talking to right now, not
her.”

“That’s her choice!”

“Yes, and she’s choosing the fact that she wants to have
both of us in her life, so now it’s up to you and me to resolve this.”

“Never
gonna
happen.”

“Wes, it has to, man, ok? It has to.” I sigh and clench my
eyes shut for a second, trying to gather myself together.
 
Am I really going to do this? I glance at
Holland and realize I have no choice. “Look, I get it. I do. I was an asshole
for most of my life. You’re right, I would not have deserved a woman like
Holland then, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I do now. But all that means is
I’m going to fight every second of every day to overcome my shortcomings, to
fight toward the goal of being worthy of her, so that maybe one day I will actually
be something she deserves.” I glance up at her again, and almost lose it at the
look on her face. “She makes me want to try, man. She makes me believe that I
can be better. That I have to be.”

He doesn’t respond, and I force my gaze away from Holland so
I can focus back on my plea. “Wes, I swear to you, I know what I have here. I know
she’s too good for me. But I am not the person I was. I’m a person who
understands exactly what I was, and why I need to be better. And I sure as hell
know why I need to be thankful every single day that Holland Drake is in my
life. I will not fuck this up. But, dude, if I do? I will find you, wherever
you are, and let you beat the shit out of me. No questions asked.”

The line goes dead, and I let out my breath before daring a
look back at Holland. I don’t even get a chance to say anything before her arms
are around my neck, her face buried in my shoulder. I just hold her, both of us
locked in silence as we process what just happened.

“That was beautiful, Luke. What you just did was…” she pulls
back and stares at me in awe. “I didn’t think you could surprise me anymore.”

I
smile
,
suddenly
shy
. “I’m pretty sure the surprises are just starting. I’m going to be
surprising both of us a lot from here on out. I better, or Wes just got a
license to mess me up.”

She shakes her head in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”

I’m not really sure what to say next, but I’m glad I did it.
It feels so good to have made her happy.
To have done the
right thing for once.
Still, I’m not sure what to do with these new,
strange sensations, and she almost seems annoyed that I’m not gushing about my
heroics like she is. “You don’t even get it, do you?” she continues, and I
swallow.

“Um…”

“What you just did... I know every part of you wanted to
beat his face in, and instead you did the last thing I ever expected you to
do.”

“I told the truth.”

“You were amazing.” She grins and leans forward, rewarding
me with a long kiss. “I love sweet Luke. I can’t even tell you how hot he is.”

Crap, I hope I’m not blushing. “Well, don’t get used to it. I
have a reputation to maintain,” I tease.

“Not unless you want Wes to demolish you. As God is my witness,
I now get to let him destroy you if you ever break my heart.” She sits back and
scrunches her nose. “What did he say anyway?”

I smirk. “Honestly? Nothing. He just hung up.”

“Nothing? Not a word?”