Toxic (35 page)

Everything about him went hard, rigid, and he was shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m not who you think I am. I thought you already knew that.”

“Then who are you?” I cried.

He didn’t answer. He’d disconnected from me completely.

I’d seen that blank, cold look before.

I shuddered at what that meant.

Jeremy didn’t deny anything I’d said though, and that made me want to grab him and spin him around, I was so mad. “Tell me, why? Why?”

Clamping his jaw, he glared at me.

“Tell me, Jeremy, did you ever really love me?”

His eyes turned cold, black.

Goading him, because anger pushed me to do it, and honestly my broken heart didn’t know what else to do, I went on. “What, nothing else to say now that the truth is out?”

“Fuck you!” he growled.

I flinched. “You already have,” I said, the fight in me gone.

He drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

I had to look away from him or I’d cave. I knew I would.

“All you had to do was believe in me,” he muttered.

My body was trembling.

He didn’t seem to care what state I was in as he walked toward the door.

I threw my hands up in the air. “Sure, do what you do best—walk away.”

Then he stopped.

I noticed something on the table. It was an envelope with a red ribbon around it.

He tapped it with his fingers but didn’t turn around. “This is what I’ve been doing all week—contrary to what you choose to believe, I wanted to help you. The note I left you explained everything. I thought that would be enough.” He laughed a little. “I guess I was wrong. I guess Dawson’s hold on you was stronger than I wanted to believe. My mistake. It won’t happen again.”

Shaking my head, tears in my eyes, I snapped. “I have to know one thing. Why did you turn me off that last night? Why not see your plan through and marry me? You didn’t know the news would break the next day and ruin everything.”

He turned toward me and his eyes flashed with that same emptiness I’d seen that last night. “The only thing I ever wanted from you was for you to believe in me.”

With that he walked out the door. His steps were slow and seemed to falter but that could have been what I wanted to see. I was trembling after all and my sight was blurry from the tears left unspilled. I didn’t know what note he was referring to but there were no words that could erase what he’d done.

Closing my eyes, I blocked out the image of his back as he took those final steps to the elevator. I couldn’t bear to see him get in it. He had already taken everything from me and yet it took all I had not to run to him and beg him to stay.

I was a stupid, stupid girl.

The elevator door closed and my eyes snapped open. As soon as he was gone so was my composure. My knees weakened and I crumpled to the floor like a rag doll. Minutes passed as I tried to pull myself together. I grabbed the table and rose to my feet before I reached for the envelope.

What was inside? The details of how he was going to break TSC apart and sell off the pieces? I didn’t need to see that. I wanted to tear it up. Yet, I couldn’t resist opening it.

My heart was in my throat as I crossed the room. With shaky fingers, I pulled the ribbon and opened the thick envelope. What I found was nothing like I had expected to see. It was filled with TSC stock certificates. I flipped through them, there were twelve of them with varying amounts of shares, all owned by different companies, and each signed—and not just signed but signed over to me.

I froze, my muscles clenching and going stiff. I didn’t understand. If Jeremy wanted to steal TSC from me so badly, why was he signing the shares back over to me?

I had to find out what the hell was going on.

Hunter was getting off the phone when I barged into his office. He glanced up and his face looked pale. “Phoebe, I was just coming to find you. You’re not going to believe this.”

Anxious, I waved the envelope in front of him. “No, you’re not going to believe this.”

Hunter, though, was lost in some kind of state of shock. “The shell company, J Truman, is administered by Dawson Vanderbilt, not Jeremy McQueen.”

His words echoed in my head. I felt dizzy and I had to sit down. The last of my emotional strength collapsed right there in his office. I could have been a rag doll I was so limp. “Dawson?”

“I’m sorry, Phoebe.”

“What do you mean? You told me it was Jeremy.” My voice sounded bleak. Barely able to get the words out.

“I know. I’m so sorry. I was wrong. J Truman is a Vanderbilt Brokerage holding company. It seems that over the past year they have brokered most of the stock purchases and more recently they have funneled all of stock we released through J Truman to the purchasing companies. My guess is the purchases were made on Dawson’s recommendation.”

My face felt numb but somehow I managed to move my lips and ask, “How did you find that out?”

Hunter flipped through a stack of papers. “I have a friend over at the SEC and I called him yesterday. I asked him to look into the recent stock purchases. I was hoping, in some offhanded way, they wouldn’t be one hundred percent legit and I could use that against Jeremy as leverage to buy them back. I don’t get it though, why would Dawson want me to think it was Jeremy?”

Everything suddenly clicked into place. It wasn’t Jeremy at all who had been using TSC’s vulnerability—it was Dawson. But for what? Some kind of leverage to keep me?

Tears scalded my skin as they slid down my face. “No, not you, me,” I whispered.

I felt sick. The look on Jeremy’s face as he turned to leave was already haunting me. I’d let him down by not believing in him.

I really was a stupid, stupid girl.

Hunter shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry. When I saw the stock agreements that had been faxed to me, I assumed you requested them. Jeremy Truman signed them all and I just assumed J Truman, the shell company, belonged to him. But here,” Hunter handed me some of the papers he had in front of him. “They were never even faxed. Someone put them here and with everything going on, I just never noticed.”

“Dawson must have done it,” I said hoarsely.

Oh God.

What had I done?

I shoved the papers back in Hunter’s hands. “I have to go.”

“You can’t. The board meeting will start soon.”

I handed him the envelope I was still holding in my other hand. “Look inside. Somehow Jeremy bought the shares back and he is gifting them over to me. My guess is there’s enough shares in there to give us back control.”

Hunter started pulling the certificates out. “He must have gone to each company. How did he manage to convince them to sell?”

I gave a sad shrug. “I don’t know but I have to find him. Take the deal with Starwood. My mother will be here if you need her. I’ll call you later.”

I hurried as fast as I could, sprinting to the elevator, and then running toward the street. Hugh had parked out front and just as my mother was getting out of the car, I hopped in.

“Where are you going?” Poppy asked.

“Find Hunter. He’ll explain everything,” I shouted as I closed the door.

“I have to get to Jeremy’s loft as fast as you can,” I told Hugh.

He got a gleam in his eye as he jerked into traffic. I pulled my phone from my purse and called Jeremy. It didn’t go immediately to voice mail, but he also didn’t answer. I hung up and texted him.

Me: I am so sorry. Please . . . you have to forgive me.

I waited for a reply.

But none came.

My throat tightened. My mouth was completely dry. My body felt numb. I had done just what Dawson wanted me to do—believed the worst about Jeremy.

Traffic was ridiculous and it seemed to take years before I got to Jeremy’s loft. I told Hugh to go. If Jeremy wasn’t there, I was going to wait, and I didn’t care for how long. I knocked and when there was no answer, I used my key.

As soon as I walked in, I was surprised. He was there. I could see him from the foyer. He was sitting on the sofa with his head down.

“Jeremy,” I said softly.

He didn’t answer me.

I dropped everything in my hands and went to him. “Jeremy, talk to me,” I pleaded.

He looked up. His face was gaunt and his eyes had shadows under them. In my fury, I hadn’t noticed any of that at my office but he looked utterly exhausted.

“I’m sorry.” I dropped to my knees and took his hands. “You have to forgive me.”

He just shook his head.

“Jeremy,” I cried.

“Don’t,” he said.

“I love you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” His voice was broken.

“We can get through this.”

He shook his head. “No. This has to end. We can’t keep doing this to each other. You’re right—what we have is toxic. We’re just not good for each other.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it!”

“I do.”

“You don’t.” My voice rose.

“You believed the worst in me. I can’t keep doing this.”

“I said I was sorry.”

His eyes gleamed, like he was listening but not hearing what I was saying.

My throat got even tighter. “I didn’t know, Jeremy. I didn’t know Dawson had done this.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” His tone was bitter.

“It does!”

His eyes were flat. “Don’t you get it? That’s what makes it even worse. You really thought I could do something like that to you. I was worried you’d be upset but . . .” His words trailed off. “Dawson wanted you to believe I could hurt you and you did. He was right, he knew better than me. He told me he did. I told him no, I knew you, and you would never believe a story like that. But you did.”

“No, not in my heart I didn’t.”

He looked at me. “Phoebe. It’s over.”

I reached for his face. “No, don’t say that.”

He stood up. “I called Jamie. He’s coming to pick you up.”

I tried to pull him back down to me. “Don’t leave,” I begged.

“I have to, for both of us.”

“But we can work through this.”

I looked up and saw a single tear in his eye. “Good-bye, Phoebe,” he said as he walked toward the door.

I scurried off the floor and ran to the door, blocking his way.

He stopped a cautious distance from me. “Don’t make this worse. I’m going to leave and give you time to get your things together.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going to let you go.”

“It’s not your choice.”

I stepped closer. “No, but it’s not only yours either.”

“Why are you doing this?” Jeremy’s anger came to the surface again.

I tried to put my arms around his neck. “Because I love you too much to lose you again over this.”

He shoved me away. “You should have thought about that before you believed I’d betray you for money or revenge or whatever the fuck sick reason you believed.”

“I’m so sorry,” I pleaded.

His eyes, those intense blue eyes, blazed at me. “Not going to cut it this time around, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t act like you’re okay with this,” I screamed in his face.

“I tried to do this nicely.”

“Tell me you want to live your life without me.”

He closed his eyes. “I think it’s better if we’re not together.” His tone was softer now.

“That’s not what I asked. Look me in the eyes and tell me you want to live your life without me.”

His eyes fluttered and his mouth opened, but he said nothing.

I reached for him again. “If you can’t do that, then you owe it to us to stay here and talk through this. You might be right, we might not be good for each other, but we have to talk before we can decide that.”

He stepped closer to me. “Why are you making this so much harder than it has to be?”

My heart stopped. “Because I love you, like I’ve never loved anyone in my life and I can’t lose you. Not again. I was a mess without you this week. I never even—”

His hands went to my hips as I spoke and his intense blue eyes filled with anguish. Unexpectedly, the door opened and I had to move to avoid getting hit. I also had dislodged myself from Jeremy’s grip.

“Hey, man,” Jamie said to Jeremy. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.”

Jeremy looked at me with sadness looming in his eyes. “I’m sorry but I just can’t.”

“No,” I screamed. “No.”

He looked at Jamie. “I was just leaving.”

My mouth dropped and tears filled my eyes. “Jeremy,” I cried.

Jamie’s gaze landed on me.

Jeremy stopped at the door and looked back at me. “I really think it’s best this way, for both of us,” he said hoarsely and then he closed the door.

I fell to the floor, my legs no longer able to hold me up. My body felt numb. He had done what he told me he’d never do—he left me.

Jamie collapsed beside me and pulled me into his arms.

“I ruined everything,” I cried.

“Phoebs, talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

We sat on the floor and I told him everything. How I was led to believe a lie and it was my fault that I didn’t trust Jeremy.

I should have believed in him—in our love.

After a long while, I couldn’t cry anymore. I just sat there, words coming from my mouth in a monotone that made no sense.

Jamie suddenly pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go. What do you want me to get of yours?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “They’re only things. I don’t care about them. I care about him. I want him.”

All I could think about was how much I wanted him.

Everything that happened after that was a blur. Jamie had a car waiting outside. When we got in, I wasn’t sure if he’d gone to work yet or not, but I was grateful he was there for me. If not, I would have never left and nothing good would come out of another confrontation with Jeremy so soon.

But I wasn’t giving up.

Not this time.

I looked around and thought—I’d be back.

When I looked at Jamie, he was looking at me. “It will be okay. I would have Lindsay spend the day with you, but she and my mother left early this morning for a spa day and won’t be back until late tonight.”

“Lindsay and your mother?”

He gave me a slight smile. “Yeah, my dad came back a few days ago and my mother had a complete change of heart.”