Touching the Clouds (39 page)
“If it weren’t for you, she would have.” Admiration for Kate swelled inside Paul. And love. He loved her. He couldn’t deny it. But he had no right. She belonged to Mike. And love meant risk—he wasn’t ready for that.
Kate looked at him with adoration, which only made Paul’s battle for reason more difficult. “Have you had breakfast?” she asked.
“Helen offered, but I wanted to get down here and see how Nena’s doing.”
“It must be nice staying with Albert and Helen.”
“It is. Helen’s spoiling me.” Paul patted his stomach.
“I’m starved. There’s a café down the street.”
“Sounds good.”
After a waitress had taken their orders and made sure they both had cups of coffee, Kate said, “This is on me.”
“No. I’ll pay.”
“Consider it a thank-you for rescuing me and Nena.”
Paul thought he saw more than affection in Kate’s eyes.
No. She’s just grateful. That’s all.
He took a drink of coffee. “It was mostly Mike’s doing. He’s crazy about you.”
“I’m grateful to both of you.”
“I’ll be heading back to the creek this afternoon. Mike said he’d take me.”
“It’ll be good to get back, I suppose.” Kate’s tone had gone flat. “I’ll miss seeing you every day.”
“Me too. But now that Nena’s recovering I’ve got to get back to work. There’s a lot to do before winter sets in.”
Kate glanced out the window. “Can’t believe another summer’s already gone.”
The waitress returned with two plates, one piled with bacon, pancakes, and eggs and the other a simpler fare of eggs and toast. She set the larger meal in front of Paul.
“Breakfast never seems like breakfast without bacon.” Paul picked up a piece and took a bite.
Kate smiled at the waitress as she slid the other plate in front of her. “Thank you.”
Paul wondered what the sadness in her eyes was all about. When the waitress left, he asked, “What’s wrong, Kate? Something’s troubling you.”
She picked up her fork, then set it back down. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about a plane.”
“You plan to continue flying?”
She poked at her scrambled eggs and then took a bite. “Sure. But I have to find another bird. It’ll take every dime I’ve got. I guess my house will have to wait.”
“Wish you’d stop flying.” Paul had lost his appetite.
Kate stared at him, a troubled expression on her face. “I thought about it. Sometimes I think I should stop. But I’m not reckless—I understand that better now. Alison’s death and this crack-up were accidents, nothing more. But I admit I’m afraid. But I was afraid once before—after Alison. And I walked away from flying. I won’t this time.”
“I worry about you.”
“Thanks. It’s nice to know you care.” Kate took a bite of toast.
Paul finished off a pancake, then pushed his plate aside.
“I thought you were hungry.”
“Guess my eyes were bigger than my stomach.” He smiled, but inside he had a throng of emotions swirling around. “Have you ever thought of doing something besides being a pilot?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could.
“For about two seconds.”
He nodded. “You almost died out there.”
“True, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“I don’t know if I could have stood it.” Paul hadn’t meant to tell her, but now it was out.
Kate stared hard at him, then in a soft voice said, “I can’t quit.”
“I know.”
“God gave me my love of flying. I can’t let fear keep me from what he meant for me. None of us can.”
The comment hung, suspended in the air.
Kate set her gaze on him. “What keeps you from doing what you want, Paul?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a doctor who doesn’t practice medicine. You live in the Alaskan bush and you never see your family. You barely leave the creek. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I’m not meant to be a doctor. And I like my life just as it is.”
“I don’t believe you.” Kate gently added, “I think you’re afraid.”
“Of what?”
“I don’t know. Do you?”
Paul didn’t answer. He knew. But how could he tell Kate he was afraid someone depending on him to save their life would die, and then he’d have to live with it? Or that he was afraid to love anyone ever again?
Kate glanced at a couple who moved out of a booth and headed toward the register. “Whatever it is that holds you back, you can’t avoid it forever. Eventually you’ll have to face it.” She brushed a stray hair off her face. “You’re a talented doctor.”
“It’s not for me. I told you.”
“I’ve watched you. You’re good. You care about people.” She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. “I’d trust you with my life.”
Paul’s hand shivered beneath her touch.
“Don’t you think it’s time you did what you were meant to do—either here in Alaska or in San Francisco?”
“It’s been too long.” Paul removed his hand and picked up his cup.
“Do you really believe that? The people here need you.”
“There are better doctors than me.”
“That may be true, but they aren’t here and you are.” Kate kept her eyes fixed on him.
He stared down into his nearly empty cup. “I suppose I could help out once in a while. But I’m not committing to anything . . . not permanently.”
Kate smiled broadly. “Some of your time is better than none.” She held out her hand. “So, we have a deal? I fly and you doctor?”
Paul accepted her handshake. “Okay. But on a trial basis only.” What was he getting into? Still, he couldn’t quell the sense of excitement—working as a doctor again, spending time with Kate—it sounded like a dream.
Kate stood. “I better get back to the hospital.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
Paul and Kate strolled down the road toward the hospital. Kate took in a deep breath. “It smells like fall.”
She looked up at Paul, her hazel eyes brimming with joy and her auburn hair ruffling in the breeze. Paul stopped. He loved her. He didn’t want to—it would only mean more heartache, but he couldn’t extinguish his feelings.
“What? What is it?”
“Kate . . .” The words stuck in his throat. “I . . . I love you. I know it’s wrong—you belong to Mike, but I can’t help it. I’m in love with you.”
“I don’t belong to anyone.” Kate met his gaze. “And Mike’s a wonderful friend, nothing more.”
“But I thought—”
“He asked me to marry him. But I said no.”
Overwhelmed by the merging of hope and passion, Paul pulled Kate close and kissed her tenderly.
“I love you too,” she whispered, then circled her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.
Paul deepened the kiss.
When they parted, Kate smiled up at him. “So, partners? I fly, you doctor, and we’ll see about the rest?”
Paul chuckled. “Okay. Partners.” He pressed his cheek against her hair, breathing in the fragrance of it. “And, yes, we’ll see about the rest.”
L
ike all books, this one required the minds and hearts of many. When I set off to create the story of Paul and Kate, my journey began with a visit to the Tillamook Air Museum in Tillamook, Oregon. There I met Christian Gurling, who shared some of his knowledge about planes with me and connected me with others who could help, such as Pat Benning and Silver Hanrahan. I owe you, Christian. Thanks so much.
Silver Hanrahan, an aviation expert, is a man I knew only as Silver through online communications. I could count on him to answer any technical question about aircraft. If he didn’t know, he’d find out. I’m very grateful for his help. It was a pleasure to know him. Sadly he died before the book was completed.
Gayle Ranney moved to Alaska as a young mother and teacher. She began flying in 1966, only six years after Alaska became a state. As a bush pilot, she’s done it all and seen it all. It is her experience and expertise that brought the flying sequences in this book to life. Thank you, Gayle, for answering my many questions and for all the extra hours of research you did to find out what we didn’t know. Your skill put me in the pilot’s seat. You made this book possible.
Several family members helped me with this story. My mother, Elsa Trover, a native of Alaska; Susan Hightower; Billy Hightower; and my brother, Bruce Campbell, could all be counted on for real-life input when I needed it. Your knowledge and love of Alaska made it possible for me to write about your extraordinary state. And I offer special thanks to Bruce. I sometimes think you were born 100 years too late. Your real-life adventures provided depth and authenticity to many of the scenes in this book.
My critique group came through as always. Thanks to Bunny Bassett, Billy Cook, Julia Ewert, Diane Gardner, Sarah Schartz, and Ann Shorey. Thank you for sticking with me.
Thanks also to Cheryl VanAndel and her creative, hardworking team for the wonderful cover. You guys are great.
Barb Barnes, I’m grateful for your attention to detail and your soft touch in editing, which allows my work to remain mine. It is a pleasure to work with you.
Huge thanks go to Lonnie Hull DuPont, executive editor for Revell. We sweated through this story. You cared enough to push for my best. I’m grateful for your tenacity and your great eye for a good story.
Last but never least, I want to thank my agent, Wendy Lawton. You are my favorite cheerleader. Your belief in me helps me to press forward even through the tough days when creativity seems out of reach. Thanks for helping me believe in myself.
Bonnie Leon
dabbled in writing for many years but never set it in a place of priority until an accident in 1991 left her unable to work at her job. She is now the author of several historical fiction series, including the Sydney Cove series, Queensland Chronicles, the Matanuska series, the Sowers Trilogy, and the Northern Lights series. She also stays busy teaching women’s Bible studies, speaking, and teaching at writing seminars and women’s gatherings. Bonnie and her husband, Greg, live in Southern Oregon. They have three grown children and four grandchildren.
Visit Bonnie’s website at
www.bonnieleon.com
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Books by Bonnie Leon
S
YDNEY
C
OVE SERIES
To Love Anew
Longings of the Heart
Enduring Love
T
HE
Q
UEENSLAND
C
HRONICLES
The Heart of Thornton Creek
For the Love of the Land
When the Storm Breaks
A
LASKAN
S
KIES
Touching the Clouds