Touching the Clouds (17 page)
The next day, the fog had lifted, and although Kate wished she could stay longer, she needed to be on her way. As she readied to leave, Joe approached her. “Are you going to Candle on your way to Fairbanks?”
“Yes. It’s my first stop.”
“Nena’s sister lives in Candle. She’s having a baby and asked Nena to come.”
“I can take her.”
“Nena, do you want to go?” Joe asked.
She nodded hesitantly. “She needs me.”
“How much will it cost?” Joe asked Kate.
“For you? Nothing.” Turning to Nena, Kate asked, “Will you need a flight back?”
“No. My sister’s husband will bring me. He has a good sled and strong dogs.”
“Okay. I’ll have to get the plane ready. And we’ll take off at first light.”
“I’ll be there.” Nena’s voice sounded small and wobbled a bit.
It was still dark when Kate made her way to the airstrip. Joe walked beside her, carrying a firepot to heat the engine. Kate had a lantern in one hand and a can of heated oil in the other. The lantern light flickered over glistening snow.
Joe pulled the tarp off the Bellanca, lit the firepot, and set it beneath the engine. Kate poured oil in and then went to work clearing ice from the plane.
Once the engine was warm enough, she cranked it and then started it. While the Bellanca ran, she did her usual check of the gauges and consulted her maps.
A light bobbed through the darkness. It was Nena with the baby in a pack, tucked in the front of her parka.
Kate stepped out of the plane. “Ready?”
Nena nodded. Her eyes looked wider than usual as she stared at the plane. “It’s loud,” she shouted.
“That’s normal. Climb in. It’s warmer inside than out.”
Nena faced Joe, her hands on his arms. “I will be back soon.”
He hugged her, then lifted the baby’s hood and kissed the top of her head. “Send a message when you’re coming home.”
“I will.” She kissed him, then turned and stared at the plane.
Joe put an arm around her and walked her to the door. He whispered something in her ear, and she leaned against him for a few more seconds. With a nod, she turned and climbed in.
“See you, Joe,” Kate hollered, stepping in behind Nena. “I’ll take good care of her.”
Joe nodded and closed the door. Kate latched it from the inside. “You can sit up front with me,” she told Nena as she headed for the cockpit.
Looking stiff and apprehensive, the native woman made her way to the front and gently lowered herself into the passenger seat beside Kate. She gazed at the dimly lit sky.
“I’m glad I get to be the one to take you up.”
Nena didn’t respond. She looked downright scared.
“There’s nothing to worry about. This is a good solid plane, and I’m a first-rate pilot. The weather’s calm. We’ll be fine.”
“You think so?”
“I do. And it’s not far to Candle.” She smiled, hoping to instill confidence.
Kate revved the engine and throttled up. Nena grabbed hold of the side of her seat.
“It’ll be all right. I promise,” Kate reassured her friend.
“Thank you, but you cannot promise. Only God knows.”
Kate wasn’t sure how to respond. Over the years, she’d had lots of nervous passengers, and usually there was little that could be said to make them feel better, but Nena was a woman of faith.
Kate gave it another try. “God does know. So we’ll be fine.”
“What if he knows I’m going to die today?” Her eyes looked almost round.
Kate nearly laughed, but managed to remain serious. “I’m sure he wants you to live. You’re too precious a human being, and you’ve got your children to look after.”
“If I’m precious, he might want me in heaven with him.” Nena smiled.
“I guess we’ll just have to see then.”
Kate turned the plane so it was lined up for takeoff and headed down the runway. When they lifted off a small “Oh” escaped Nena’s lips. She clung to her little girl. Once in the air, she stared at the snowy world below. “How wonderful! I am seeing as God sees.” She glanced at Kate. “It’s beautiful. I think I like flying.”
Kate laughed, thinking back to her first time in the air and the wonder of it. “I’ll take you whenever you want—when I’m in Kotzebue.”
“I’d like that.” Nena took in a loud breath. “Oh, see there— the mountains. They look so different from here—even more beautiful.” She turned dark eyes on Kate. “Thank you. Even if I were to die today, I would be happy.”
“Your happiness is all good and well, Nena, but I’m more inclined to keep on living.”
“Yes. I agree. It is a good day to live.”
K
ate pulled on her coat. It was nearly time to leave for Albert and Helen’s place. Her eyes wandered to the end table where she’d left Richard’s letter. She dropped onto the sofa, picked up the envelope, and opened it. She skimmed over his greeting
—“My dearest Kate.”
She wished he wouldn’t say that. She wasn’t his Kate anymore. The words blurred and she blinked back tears, remembering how things had once been between them—a lifetime ago.
“I’ve been waiting, hoping and praying you’d come home.
I’ve written and heard nothing back from you. I don’t think
a letter is asking too much.”
Guilt clenched Kate’s insides. She’d meant to write. She’d even started a letter, more than once, but didn’t know how to tell him what she felt. She tried to focus on the words.
“Do you think you’ll be coming home soon? I found a little
place down by the river. It would be perfect for us. There’s
good fishing along that stretch.”
Kate crumpled up the letter, tossed it in the wastebasket, and strode to her desk. She grabbed a sheet of paper, dipped a pen in ink, and fought for the right words. It was over. She had to tell him.
“
Dear Richard.”
The salutation glared back at her. She dipped her pen into the ink, then wrote, “
I’m sorry for not
writing sooner. I meant to.”
She stopped. The letter had to be honest and firm but not cruel.
Kate continued, “
I’ll never forget what we had.”
She swiped at a tear.
“But everything’s different now. I have a new life. I’m
happy and doing what I’ve always dreamed of.”
She gripped the pen more tightly. “
I can’t give it up, not even for you, not
for anyone.”
Kate studied her words. Did she mean it—was flying more important than everything else? She couldn’t imagine life without it.
“I tried to explain before I left, but I guess I didn’t do a
very good job of it. I’m sorry things have turned out as they
have, but we’re not meant to be together. You will always
be a sweet memory, but it’s time to go on with your life as I
have with mine.”
Her pen hovered over the paper.
“I know
there is someone for you who will be the kind of wife you
need. I will always cherish what we had and I pray you’ll
find peace and love.”
She reread the letter and signed it, “
Sincerely, Kate.”
Kate gently blew on the paper to dry the ink, slipped it into an envelope, and put a stamp on it. Before she left the apartment, she fished Richard’s crumpled letter out of the wastebasket, pressed out some of the wrinkles, and set it in the desk drawer.
On her way out of the store, she dropped the envelope in the mail slot, then pulled on her gloves and headed for the car. It was New Year’s Eve—a time for new beginnings. She didn’t want to think about Richard anymore.
When Kate pulled up in front of Albert and Helen’s home, she wondered why there were no other cars out front. She’d expected a group of partiers. Shutting off the engine, she stepped into the cold and gazed at a clear night sky with patches of sparkling frozen fog. She walked up a path cut through the snow, ice crunching beneath her boots. Although Albert had spread gravel on the walkway, there were still slick spots so she put her feet down with care. She stepped onto a small porch where a Christmas wreath decorated with red ribbon and pine cones still hung at eye level.
Before she could knock, Albert swung open the door. “Evening, Kate. Come on in.”
She walked indoors and looked around the front room. There were no other guests. “Am I early?”
Closing the door, Albert glanced at the clock. “No. Didn’t Helen say eight?”
“Well then, I guess everyone else is late.”
“The only one who’ll be here besides you is Mike.” He helped her with her coat. “It’ll just be the four of us. Figure the other pilots didn’t want to hang out with a couple of old codgers like me and Helen on New Year’s Eve.”
“Speak for yourself,” Helen called from the back of the house.
Albert glanced toward the kitchen, then hung Kate’s heavy parka in a closet adjacent to the entryway. Resting a hand on her back, he ushered her into a small living room.
Helen kept a tidy home. Colorful afghans hugged overstuffed furniture and a fire crackled in a Franklin stove. The occasional table and piano had become collection centers for family photos. Most of the pictures were of their two children, taken at varying ages. They both lived outside Alaska now, a heartache for Helen.
“My sweetheart’s been baking all day. I almost think she likes New Year’s more than Christmas.” Albert grinned.
“Is there something I can do to help?”
“I think she’s got things under control, but I’m sure she’d enjoy your company. Go on in.”
Kate walked to the back of the house where Helen was taking a pan out of the oven. “What is that wonderful smell?”
“Apple strudel.” Helen set the steaming dessert in the warming closet of her Windsor range. Closing the door and still wearing her mitts, she turned and hugged Kate. “So good you could come.” She held her at arm’s length. “This is going to be fun.”
“Albert said it’s just Mike and me.”
“I’m glad. We’ll have a chance to get to know Mike better. He only comes into the store once in a while, mostly to see you, I think.” Helen tugged off her cooking mitts and set them on the counter beside the stove. “He seems like such a nice young man. I’d guess you two have a lot in common.”
Kate lifted her brows. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re matchmaking.”
Helen chuckled. “Oh no. I’ll leave that up to God.” She smiled. “But you did attend Christmas services with him, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but that’s all. He got an emergency call and had to leave.” Kate had been disappointed but wasn’t about to let on. “We’re friends—nothing more. There’s no room in my life for romance, anyway. I have my career to think about.”
“There’s always room for romance.” Helen’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Mike and I have never even had a date.”
Not a real one
anyway.
Helen offered a knowing smile. “If he has any brains, that’ll change soon. Would you like some coffee?”
“That sounds good.”
Helen filled two cups with dark brew and handed one to Kate. “There’s cream and sugar.”
“That would only ruin it.” Kate took a sip. “You make the best coffee.”
Helen poured cream into her cup, then added a spoonful of sugar. “To tell you the truth, it’s a little strong for me. But that’s the way Albert likes it.” She sat at the kitchen table.
Kate settled into a chair across from her and took another drink of coffee. “I like it strong. But not like Sidney’s. His is too much like mud.”
“It is dreadful.” Helen chuckled, then set her cup on the table in front of her, her expression turning serious. “You know, Kate, one day a career won’t be enough. There’s more to life than flying.”
“I know that. But I’ve got to work hard while I can. The rest will come . . . later.”
“And what if the right man comes along now?” Helen picked up a dish of chocolate drop cookies sitting on the table. “Cookie?”
Kate took one, wondering about Helen’s statement. What would she do if she fell in love? Mike was a good man. She liked him, but could she love him?
“I have peanut butter and oatmeal raisin if you’d like.”
“Thanks, but I better stick to one at a time.” Kate took a bite of her cookie. “Even if the ‘right’ man came along, I’m not ready to see anyone, not like that. It hasn’t been that long since I broke my engagement.”
“Of course, that’s right. I’m sorry. I’m being thoughtless.”
“No. It’s just that I got a letter from Richard. Sometimes it feels like he’s still with me. He doesn’t want to let go.”
“Really? How so?”
“He keeps telling me that we belong together, that he loves me. And in his most recent letter, he told me about a house he’d found for us.” Kate shook her head. “It’s not like him. He almost sounds a little cracked, like he’s not living in the real world. I thought he understood about my flying. I wrote back explaining that everything is over between us. I hope he gets it this time. It was a difficult letter to write.”
“It’s hard to let go of someone you love.” Helen smiled softly. “I remember a young man I dated, back before I met Albert. When he ended our relationship, I thought my heart would break. I mooned over him for weeks and weeks. I even wrote him love letters that I never sent. I remember a few times going to the café where we used to meet, hoping he’d come in and realize how much he missed me.”
Helen sipped her coffee. “It was so silly, but at the time I remember it felt as if my life had come to an end.”
“So, what do you think I should do?”
“Just allow time, dear. He’ll get over you eventually.”
“I’m not even sure I ever loved him. Sometimes I think I told him I’d marry him because it was expected. Our families had been friends for years and we’d dated all through high school. Marriage seemed the reasonable next step.”
“Usually being reasonable is good, but when it comes to love . . . well, there’s just nothing reasonable about it.” Helen dipped a cookie into her coffee and took a bite. The room turned quiet, except for the ticking of a porcelain plate clock that hung on the wall. Finally, Helen rested her arms on the table and leaned toward Kate. “I’m worried about you.”
“Me? Why?”
“You’re such a lovely woman, but you’re single-minded— fly, fly, fly. That’s all you think about.”