Touching Fire (Touch Saga) (11 page)

“We weren’t doing anything,” I said, disliking the implication in his warning to Isaiah. “
And we’ve been in rooms alone together before.”

He was watching me with that unnerving stare again. Was he waiting for me to throw myself at his feet and confess all my darkest secrets? Or was he waiting for me to tell him what Isaiah
and I were doing all those times we were alone?

“You needed to talk to me?” I said instead.

He must have realized he wasn’t getting anything, because he seemed to brace himself a little as he clasped his hands behind his back and rocked back on his heels. He stared off towards the closet.

“How’s the room?”

I glanced around the room. “Fine. Thank you.”

He nodded slowly. “Are you finding everything all right?”

I gave an indecisive shrug. “I guess. The room’s pretty straight forward, unless there’s a secret passageway behind the vanity you’d like to show me?”

Truth be told, I hadn’t bothered exploring my new quarters.
I should have. It didn’t make sense that I hadn’t. Didn’t most people go exploring their new rooms the moment they were alone? But I couldn’t. It didn’t feel like it was mine. It felt like I was a guest and exploring would be like snooping. Plus, old habits died hard. My stuff was still packed inside my duffle. I couldn’t even bring myself to put my clothes in the drawers. Something Ashton must have noticed when his gaze moved to my open bag resting on the cream colored bench at the foot of the bed.

His shoulders deflated with his exhale of air. His arms fell to his sides.
“I feel as though I’ve done this all wrong,” Ashton murmured. “I honestly envisioned an entirely different meeting between us.” He looked at me, his gaze almost pleading. “I really do want you to think of this place as home, Fallon. I want you to be comfortable.”

I just nodded.
I had no idea what I was supposed to say. How was I supposed to tell him I was used to living out of my bag? That it had nothing to do with him. It was a habit. I was always prepared to leave at a second’s notice. I’d never had a bedroom and had no idea what I was supposed to do with one. Most of the time, I never even had my own bed because two beds cost more money so I had shared with my mom. Everything he was offering me was just too strange.

He sighed. “
I also came to apologize for the events of last night. I never expected…”

He looked so torn that I almost apologized to him, like somehow getting locked in a creepy basement was
my fault. He’d come straight away to see me, but I hadn’t allowed him entry. I hadn’t answered his demands for me to open the door, to talk to him. Eventually, he’d given up, but unlike Isaiah who had stayed the night outside my door, Ashton had left.

“
I don’t tolerate abuse,” he continued. “Something like that never should have happened.”

“
It’s my fault,” I said. “You did warn me not to trust anyone. I should have listened.”

Something crept over his eyes, a shadow of sadness that made me wish I hadn’t spoken.
“That wasn’t what I meant. Delphi has never done anything so malicious. She’s actually one of the kinder of our kind. It’s why Celia sent her. My warning to you was to the people outside these walls. But I will be having a talk with Delphi about—”

Panic tightened in my chest.
“Please don’t. The last thing I need is for everyone to think I need my daddy to fight battles for me, or something. I’ll handle it myself. It’s fine.”

He started to shake his head. “Fallon—”

“Please!” I stressed. When he relented with a reluctant nod, I offered him a small smile. “So you wouldn’t happen to know what exactly I was trapped in that room with, would you?”

Ashton
hesitated. He searched my face like he wasn’t sure he should say anything, but he relented with an almost sympathetic grimace. “There was nothing in the room.”

I started. “Like anymore, or…”

He shook his head. “At all. The room was an old broom closet that hadn’t been used in forever.”

Memories of tentacles and moldy rags brushing my skin sent a revolting chill through me.

“Trust me, something was there,” I argued. “My imagination isn’t
that
good.”

Again, he seemed unsure of how much he should say. “
Maybe whatever had been in there was burned in the fire,” he supplied in a tone I really hated. It was placating. Then he cleared his throat. “You wouldn’t happen to know how the fire started, would you?”

Annoyed, confused, I shook my head.

“Well, I promise that I will get to the bottom of this,” he said. “I don’t know what possessed Delphi to do such a stupid thing, but it won’t happen again.”

“Maybe she doesn’t like strangers,” I thought, remembering her words
to me before I was forced into the reason I would never like closets again. “Whatever the case. I’ll be sure to steer clear of her in the future.”

He seemed to have run out of things to say. He stared at me, taking me in carefully while he judged what to do n
ext. Finally, he gave a slight nod that signaled the completion of our conversation.

“
Understandable.” He said finally, inclining his head. He moved towards the door. His hand closed around the doorknob, but nothing happened. He stopped and turned back. Apparently, he’d thought of something else. “Fallon…” He paused a moment, seemingly gathering each word carefully before speaking again. “What exactly is your relationship with Isaiah?”

I was surprised that he actually asked. I hadn’t thought he would and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say.

“I care about him,” I said finally. “A lot.”

I felt rather than heard his deep
intake of air. All the oxygen in the room seemed to vanish for a moment. He dropped his gaze to his shoes, examining the shiny toes. He visibly struggled with whatever thought was in his head before he spoke.

“I
should have realized…”

It wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.
“Sorry?”

“
When you were children, I didn’t think much of it,” he began cautiously. “I think I always hoped you would eventually outgrow whatever it was that bounded you to Isaiah.”

I shook my head slowly. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you and he have nothing in common, Fallon. Aside from being created by Terrell.”

“Isn’t that enough?” I wondered.

“Perhaps,” he said cautiously. “But you both couldn’t be more different. In fact, you’re worlds apart. Quite literally.”

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

His gaze sharpened, becoming intense as they burned into mine. “He’s human, Fallon, and as much as you wish it, you are not.”

“Why does that matter so much?” I exclaimed, throwing up my hands. “He makes me feel safe. He cares about me. Why isn’t that enough?”

Ashton drew in a deep breath as though he was bracing himself. “Because it isn’t. There are several reasons I could give you, stressing the importance of why you must forget him, but I’m not sure this is the right time. I just need you to believe me when I tell you that this is for your own good.” He seemed to straighten a little, shoulders squared, hands clasped at his back. He rocked back on his heels and peered down at me from the length of his straight nose. “I understand that you don’t believe I have a right to make such demands of you, but I
am
your father and, although I don’t use that card lightly, I do believe that holds a bit of sway in the matter.”

I wanted to laugh. It was bubbling in my chest and playing with my senses. I had to tear into my cheek to keep from giving into the
temptation, because I knew that if I started, I’d probably start screaming at him instead.

“How can you stand there and say that when you loved a human,” I murmured with a great deal of care to keep my voice low and even.

A muscle bunched in his cheek. “And look how that turned out.”

I shook my head.
“I thought you loved Isaiah. I mean, you trusted him enough to follow me around for twelve years and keep me safe.”

“
There is a fine line between love and necessity,” he explained evenly. “Isaiah was a necessity. His only task was to protect you from Terrell, nothing more.”

“So you used him.”
Sharp slivers of hate carved into me. In that moment, I hated him with everything fiber of my being. “Just like Garrison.”

Ashton never so much as batted an eyelash. “Yes. It was what he was created for. You were never meant to be his
, nor can you ignore the facts.”

“Which are?” I bite out through clenched teeth.

“That he is human and can never be worthy of you.”

I wanted to point out that he had loved my mother. He had said so himself.
But he was speaking again.

“
At the moment it may seem like a grand idea, the thought of you with him, but in the scheme of things, it would be best for all involved if whatever was happening between the two of you were to stop now before it goes too far and you are shackled with the consequences.”

I couldn’t help myself. “
And what exactly is too far?”

He watched me, judging me quietly in his mind
, or maybe he was contemplating just how much was too much to say.

“I realize that this may be very
hard for you, and I can’t say I’m an expert on what you’ve been through outside these walls, but I will advise that you tread cautiously where Isaiah is concerned. I do understand your attraction. He’s a handsome young man and you have both been thrown into a world of chaos together and it may feel like he’s the only person who truly understands you, but I can tell you with absolute honesty that continuing this path will kill one of you.”

It was so laughable that I did. I gave a short laugh that bordered on disbelief.
“What?”

He
drew away. “I think we need more time for this conversation. We’ll have it,” he promised when I opened my mouth to argue. “But not at this moment. The others are waiting for us. In the meantime, think on what I’ve told you. Keep away from Isaiah.”

“No.” The defiance left me before I could even consider the consequences.

I could have smacked him for the way his eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

I braced myself before speaking. “I won’t. I need
him.” It wasn’t a lie. Even at that moment, my heart was racing with fear, fear that had nothing to do with upsetting my father and everything to do with losing Isaiah.

“No, you don’t,” he said tightly. “You only believe that because you’re scared. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

I shook my head. “No, that isn’t it. I can’t explain everything, but trust me, what you’re asking, it’s impossible.”

Ashton sighed and rubbed the tips of four fingers over his brow. “
I think we both have a lot of explaining to do,” he decided. “But one thing at a time.” He straightened and met my gaze. “There are some people I would like you to meet. I have to run to my quarters for a moment, but I’ll send someone to escort you.” He turned away and started for the door. His hand closed over the knob, but rather than turn it, he paused. “And, Fallon? Don’t bring Isaiah with you.”

Then he was gone
and I was left staring into Isaiah’s wide, confused eyes.

“
Everything okay?”

What could I do but shrug and lie?
I was just relieved he hadn’t overhead our conversation, not through the door, not through my mind. I didn’t think I could bear to see the hurt in his eyes.

“
Yeah. Fine.”

The crease in Isaiah’s brows spoke of concern, not for me, but for Ashton. His blue eyes kept darting down the hall in the direction the other man had taken. He seemed torn between staying with me and hurrying after his mentor.

“What did he say?” Isaiah said at last, facing me again.

I shrugged, deciding quickly just how much I would share with Isaiah. “
He just wanted to make sure I followed the rules like everyone else,” I said, saving him from hearing that the man he idolized with every fiber of his soul didn’t care one way or another about him.

Isaiah didn’t seem to believe me. “That’s all?”

I tactfully preoccupied my hands and gaze, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind me. “Well, clearly he wasn’t happy about finding you in my room.”

He nodded slowly, believing that answer. “
I guess that makes sense.” He touched my arm when I said nothing. “You okay?” He reached over and brushed a curl off my cheek.

I forced a smile
and turned my face slightly into his soft touch. “Yeah, just not looking forward to going down there. Apparently there are
people
I have to meet.”

His smile was genuine, warm, comforting
… breathtaking, as he took my hand. “I’ll be there with you.”

I grimaced. “Yeah, actually, Ashton wanted me to tell you not to…”