Touch the Sky (Free Fall Book 1) (19 page)

“
H
ey
,” I say as soon as I open the door and see Gabe standing there. He has his hoodie over his arm, even though it’s warm outside. His blond hair’s messy, his bangs in his face. He licks his lips, which makes me wish I was the one doing it, but I don’t move for a second. Instead, I stand there, shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts and stare at him. The dark bags that were beneath his eyes are gone. The blue clearer and more crisp than it used to be. He looks like he’s put on a little weight too. Gabe’s still thin and lithe, but he’s filled out, making me wonder why I missed all the signs before.

“Luke?” he says, and I realize I must have missed him saying hello.

“Sorry. Lost myself for a minute. Jesus, you’re fucking sexy.”

He smiles, the blue in his eyes somehow lighting up, as he almost looks a little shy at the same time.

“I could say the same about you. Are you going to invite me in?”

I smile and feel the happiness deep in my gut.

I missed him.

I want him.

I love him.

“I don’t know. What are you going to do for me?” Pulling my hands from my pockets, I cross my arms.

“Whatever you want.” Gabe steps forward, closer and closer until I feel the heat of his body against my skin. He smells like soap and orange juice, like maybe he drank some before he came over.

“Look at you. I don’t see you for close to two months, and you come back all cocky.” Winking at him, I step out of the way so he can come in. “You can sit. We have like an hour before we have to leave to catch the bus.” Since Rusty is such a piece of shit, we didn’t want to risk driving her down south for Gabe’s car. We decided to take the bus and then we’ll drive back up together. “You want something to drink?” I ask him, opening and closing my hand just for something to do.

“No…I’m good…”

Deciding I’m being a fucking idiot by acting so shy and unsure around him, I sit down next to him on the couch. Our legs touch and even the simple contact makes my body go haywire.

He starts, “I—”

“Shh,” I cut him off. With my hand on his chin, I turn his head away from me and look behind his ear to see the semi-colon tattoo there. My pulse gets a little erratic and my breathing gets heavy. I looked up more on the tattoos after Gabe’s email. It’s pretty fucking amazing. “I love it,” I tell him before leaning forward and kissing the tattoo. I trace it with my tongue before sucking his earlobe into my mouth, and feeling him shudder. “I…I love you.”

I knew if I didn’t say it quick, Gabe would say it first. He’s better at shit like that than I am, but it’s important to me that I tell him. That he knows before he says it to me again. That he believes it.

He turns, drops his forehead against mine and we close our eyes. I breathe him in and wonder if he’s doing the same to me.

He was my first real friend. The first person to really know me. My confidant, in a fucked-up time in my life, and now he’s the guy I love.

“I love you too.” His breath ghosts across my lips. He puts a hand on my left leg, and I let my hands rest on his neck, holding him, my thumbs brushing against his cheek. “Thank you for supporting me. For giving me the time I need. For making me stronger, but also letting me learn how to be strong on my own.”

His words fill the empty places inside me. Sometimes the only way to be there for someone is to be willing to let go, even if it is only for a little while. For as long as I can remember, I tried to take care of my mom. I never wanted her to feel bad. As fucked up as it sounds, I tried to protect her, when she should have been the one protecting me.

I tried to do the same thing with Gabe, but by giving him the space he needed, maybe I had a little hand in helping him fly. “I
am
kind of good, huh?” I tease him because we’ve had so much fucking heavy, I want to enjoy some time without the weight.

Like he said, bipolar is something he’ll have to deal with for the rest of his life. I’m not stupid enough to think things are perfect and that they always will be, but they’re good.
He’s
good.
We’re
good. As long as we hold on to that, hold on to each other, we can make it through anything.

“Yeah…yeah, you are,” he says, his lips closer to mine.

“I really wanna kiss you.” I brush my lips against his.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Nothing,” I reply and then my lips are on his. My tongue is in his mouth. I taste the orange there too. Maybe it was gum, or juice, I don’t know. It adds to his sweetness, though.

We become frantic. Our tongues duel. Our teeth clank as we kiss deeper and more passionate by the second.

We become a tangle of body parts as Gabe reaches for my zipper and I lean forward. He sinks back, and I push his hands away. “Get yours,” I tell him and he works his button and zipper as I do the same to mine. “Just wanna touch you. That’s all.” Want to feel his hot, hard, erection against mine.

We push our pants down far enough so we can touch each other, and then he’s lying down, one foot flat on the floor, the other leg on the couch. I fit between his legs, attacking his mouth again with mine. His hands grip my ass, dig into my flesh as I thrust my cock against his. I already feel it in my sac, the need to come, as he squeezes me tighter and I knot a hand in his hair.

My thrusts become quicker, more frenzied until Gabe goes rigid beneath me. Hips still against mine before he rushes out, “Oh fuck,” and spills himself all over his stomach. A couple thrusts later, I’m right behind him. My orgasm slams into me as I fall against him. “I needed that,” I say into his hair, and Gabe chuckles.

“Yeah.” He runs his hand through my hair. We’re both breathing heavy and holding each other. “I needed it too.”

W
e’re on the bus
, Lucas is holding my hand, and I’m so fucking happy to be with him that I almost gush out tears of joy. To be able to touch him and kiss him fills me with such profound contentment, I don’t know why I waited this long to see him.

Except I do know why. I needed to be ready. I wanted my meds to start working, to get settled with work and school, and to feel like I could manage it all on my own.

Ezra was certainly relieved that I’d have my own set of wheels after today. And that Lucas was coming on this trip with me. We even started hanging out a bit more at the apartment, even though he’s got this new friend he’s been going to art shows with lately. He doesn’t seem so concerned about me anymore. Like maybe he trusts that I got my shit together, and I absolutely do this time. I owe him a lot for putting up with my stubborn ass.

“So, you ready for this?” Lucas asks as he kisses my temple. “To go back to the place you grew up?”

“Yeah,” I say, and when he circles his arm around my shoulder I settle against him on the seat. “It’ll be fine. It’s not like I can get inside the house and go through my old room or anything like that. I had to surrender the key when I left.”

I can feel Lucas grit his jaw against the top of my head. “Would’ve been nice for them to at least be home, to see their only son. They better hope nothing hap—”

“Nah, it’s okay,” I say as my chest pounds hard and I watch the passing landscape out the window. For as much as I want to be immune to how invisible I’ve felt over the years, it still stings. But the wound is slowly healing.

“It’s fucking shitty of them,” Lucas bites out. “You’re amazing, Gabe, and I’m pissed that they’re so self-absorbed they can’t see that for themselves.”

“Thanks for saying that,” I say as my gaze latches onto his. His emerald eyes shine back at me, his curls escape his beanie at his temple, and I’m overcome with staggering emotion for this guy that I love. “I’ve been talking to my therapist about it and I’m okay. This is a first step, at least with my mom. And who knows what’ll happen if she gets more help. Maybe we can email or something in the future.”

Lucas remains silent, simply watching me like he’s been doing all morning. Like maybe he’s seeing me in a new light. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says, pushing my bangs out of my eyes. “I’m just proud of you. And I love you.”

My breath hitches in my throat because damn, hearing him say those words fills me to bursting point. I lift his fingers from my shoulder, spread them out and kiss his palm like I did in the hospital. I feel a shiver travel through him as his arm tightens its hold on me.

“I went to see my mom last month,” he says in a thick voice. “At the cemetery.”

I twist my head to see his eyes. They’re soft and full of melancholy. “Yeah?”

“It was good. I told her about you.” He threads our fingers together. “I…you know…said some things that were overdue.”

My pulse throbs against my temple. “Luke, I would’ve—”

“No, it’s okay. I needed to go by myself,” he says low in my ear. “Next time.”

Lucas dozes a bit as I insert my ear buds to listen to some tunes. Before I know it, we’re pulling into the San Diego Greyhound terminal and heading on foot down National Avenue.

After a couple blocks, I slow down and turn the opposite way toward Harbor Drive because I realize I’m not ready yet. To face those memories in North Park where I grew up, even though it’s only a shell of a house, especially since no one’s home. I want one more breather.

“Its really nice here,” Lucas says as he walks beside me for several long blocks taking in the sights. Seaport Village is a touristy area with plenty of places to sit and people watch. He’s unaware that we’re headed in the wrong direction but I can tell he appreciates the view of the water up ahead. We cross the street to the harbor side and I find an empty patch of grass away from the crowd.

“Can we sit for a while?” I ask, sinking down. “Take in the view?”

“Cool by me,” he says, squatting down beside me and swiping the sweat from his neck.

Lucas crosses his legs to get more comfortable as we stare into the distance at boats traveling in and out of the marina. My gaze naturally glides upward to the clouds as the warm sun beats down on my face.

“Come ‘ere.” Lucas slides my hoodie from my shoulders, folds it on his lap, and nudges me downward so that my head lands on the soft material. My knees are bent and from this position, I have a perfect view of the sky.

“Not ready yet?” he asks as he forks his fingers through my hair.

“Five more minutes,” I mumble, my hands digging into the cool grass. “So glad you’re here with me.”

His nails scratch along my scalp in a leisurely manner. “Me too.”

My gaze slides up lazily to meet his. “Later, can we…will you…?”

“What?” he asks, his eyebrows scrunching together.

My cheeks heat up. “Will you…fuck me later? Like we talked about in our—”

His face closes in on mine. “Baby, I’ll fuck you every day if you want me to. You don’t have to ask me that.”

My cock begins to stir. I should not be bringing this up in public. Nobody is in listening distance to us, though there have been plenty of passersby. But I just want him, need him, so badly. To feel connected to him, especially now.

“It’s sexy when you blush like this.” His thumb brushes over my cheek. “I’m going to do more than just fuck you tonight.”

I swallow roughly. “Yeah, like what?”

I can feel his cock swell beneath my hoodie. “I want to taste you.
Everywhere.
I haven’t had a chance to yet.”

A moan rises in my throat and I close my eyes, attempting to get my pulse under control and the image of Lucas rimming me out of my head.

All at once there’s a roar in my ears and my lids spring open.

A naval jet is flying low overhead and it immediately brings back memories of me sitting on my front porch after school searching the sky for planes.

Lucas’s eyes are drawn upward. “Is that a military aircraft?”

“Yep,” I say. “There are a few navy and marine bases around here.”

I lift my arm above my head and stretch my fingers toward the white contrails the aircraft left behind.

Lucas smirks. “What are you doing?”

“Touching the sky,” I say as if it’s so simple. So easy. One day it will be.

Lucas leans forward and kisses my forehead, blocking my view of that deep cerulean blue. “You’re beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Our gazes connect for a long moment and my heart wings frantically in my chest. Affection and longing and hope—so much fucking hope—crowds the back of my throat and all I can do is sigh and smile.

“C’mon.” Lucas nudges me with his knees to sit up. “We need to get us an extra set of wheels.”

I stand up and straighten my shirt. “Us?”

“Of course
us
,” he says, grinning. “Rusty’s not going to last forever. We have things to do, places to explore.”

That gives me an extra boost of courage. We’re an
us
now and it feels so goddamn perfect.

“Okay, I’m ready.” I reach for his hand, intertwining our fingers. “We got this.”

W
e hope you enjoyed it
!

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eviews help
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R
ead
on to view a short excerpt from
THE DEEPEST BLUE
by Christina Lee and
A HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS
by Nyrae Dawn.

O
nce upon a time
,
Christina Lee
lived in New York City and was a wardrobe stylist. She spent her days getting in cabs, shopping for photo shoots, eating amazing food, and drinking coffee at her favorite hangouts.

Now she lives in the Midwest with her husband and son—her two favorite guys. She’s been a clinical social worker and a special education teacher. But it wasn't until she wrote a weekly column for the local newspaper that she realized she could turn the fairytales inside her head into the reality of writing fiction. 

She’s addicted to lip balm and salted caramel everything. She believes in true love and kissing, so writing romance novels has become a dream job. 

N
yrae Dawn
can almost always be
found with a book in her hand or an open document on her laptop. She couldn’t live without books—reading or writing them. Oh, and chocolate. She’s slightly addicted.

She gravitates toward character-driven stories. Whether reading or writing, she loves emotional journeys. It’s icing on the cake when she really feels something, but is able to laugh too. She’s a proud romantic, who has a soft spot for flawed characters, who make mistakes, but also have big hearts.

Whether she’s writing young adult, new adult, or adult you can always count on a healthy dose of romance from her books. She likes to tackle tough subjects, and believes everyone needs to see themselves in the stories they read.

Nyrae is living her very own happily ever after in California with her gorgeous husband (who still makes her swoon) and her two incredibly awesome kids.