Totlandia: Summer (11 page)

“But…Ally, I…I’m trying.” Jade’s tears were falling faster. They glistened in Oliver’s white-blond hair.

He must have felt them, because his hand went up to pat the top of his head. Seeing the distress in his mother’s face, he started whimpering, too.

Jade ducked her head so that he couldn’t see her anymore. Gulping hard, she added, “Please don’t make this any harder for me than it already is.”

Lorna and Jillian exchanged pitying glances. Watching them, Ally sighed. “Okay, I guess we can try.” She held out her hand.

Jade took it and clenched it tightly. She tried to smile, but her lips quivered. “Thank you, Ally. You don’t know how relieved I am!”

Lorna sighed. “Well…wow! I’m so happy we’re all together again. We have more fun outside of the club anyway.”

Jillian let loose with a relieved giggle. “Yeah, no joke, maybe we should all quit the club. That way, we wouldn’t need to keep each other’s secrets.”

“No! You—you can’t do that! Bettina would blame…” The words were out of Jade’s mouth before she knew it.

Lorna looked at her sharply. “Bettina? What has she got to do with anything?”

Jade’s eyes opened wide. “Nothing, really! I mean…I’m sure she’d be upset to lose more Onesie moms. She’d think it would have to do with Ally’s lawsuit against the club.”

“My what?” Stunned, Ally stood up. “Is that why you’re really here, because Bettina sent you?”

“Yes…I mean, no! I mean…” Jade bit her lip. “She may have mentioned that she was concerned that a lawsuit would make everyone feel uncomfortable.”

Lorna snickered. “By everyone, she means
her.
”

“I can see her point,” Jillian muttered sarcastically.

“Can you?” Jade sounded relieved. “Good! Because frankly I don’t see why she feels she has anything to worry about. Like she said, ‘It wasn’t a good fit, that’s all. But life moves on, friendships are forever, yada yada.’ You’ve just said we have more fun together when we’re not in the club.”

“Life moves on?” Ally was so angry that she was shaking. “Jade, that doesn’t mean I think that it’s okay for Bettina and her gang of wenches to make snide remarks about me behind my back, or to make Zoe’s life miserable, too. The audacity of her, asking you to spy on me!”

“I’m not spying. Not really. I’m supposed to convince you that suing the club won’t be good for it.”

“So glad we cleared that up! Hey, here’s an idea. Go back and tell Bettina that you talked to me, and that you convinced me that it wouldn’t be a good idea—for
her.
But then I realized that it may be a great thing for Pacific Heights, so that other mothers would know the truth about the club’s prejudicial selection system.” Now Ally had a reason to smile.

Jade couldn’t believe her ears. Not only had she failed at her mission, somehow she’d actually encouraged Ally to go through with the lawsuit.

Bettina would be so angry at her that she’d be kicked out of the club, too.

Anger shook through Jade. “I guess you’d like for Bettina to shoot the messenger, wouldn’t you, Ally? If I’m out of the club, I’m also out of your way. You know as well as I do that it would give Brady one more reason to hate me—and to feel sorry for you.”

“He doesn’t need any more reasons to hate you, Jade. Trust me, you’ve given him too many as is.”

Angered and ashamed, Jade turned around and ran out of the park.

But she’s wrong,
Jade thought.
He doesn’t hate me. He feels nothing at all for me. When he hears what happened from her, the two of them will have yet another reason to laugh at me.

The thought of that left her shaking so hard, she sat down on the curb and cried.

Oliver sobbed along with her.

“Wow, a lawsuit against Bettina.” Jillian’s eyes grew big at the thought.

Lorna laughed. “Hey, with all the malicious remarks that come out of her mouth, quite frankly I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now.” She turned to Ally. “Do me a favor and hit her with it before Saturday. That way, the family will have something to talk about other than Lily’s birthday costume extravaganza. The theme is ‘Come as your favorite artist.’ She wants Lily to be Frida Kahlo. The fact that the poor kid will have a unibrow in every one of her fifth birthday photos hasn’t yet occurred to Bettina.”

Ally laughed. “Sorry I’ll miss it. But the truth of the matter is, I won’t be suing Bettina.”

“What?” Jillian and Lorna shouted in unison.

Ally nodded. “It’s true. Because of what I just said to Jade. Not only does it hurt Bettina, it affects all the parents and children—your children—as well.” Ally palmed up a handful of sand, only to let it slowly sift through her fingers. “I don’t need to scorch the ground under the club. It gave me something very precious—your friendships.”

“And Brady?” Jillian meant it as a question, Ally knew.

Ally shook her head. “He and I aren’t seeing each other, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jillian shrugged. “It’s none of my business.”

“You’re my friend, so it is your business.” Ally squeezed her arm. “And thank you for caring.”

“If the club is no longer an issue for you, and Jade has just said she can accept the relationship, why won’t you see him?” Lorna asked.

“Do you really believe Jade is okay with it?” Ally shook her head. “Jade is jumping through Bettina’s hoops because she’s still trying to please Brady. Until she’s ready to stop—or she truly can let Brady go—they’ll always be under Bettina’s thumb. Brady wants Oliver in the club, for all the right reasons. I respect that. The last thing he—and Jade—need is Bettina’s vindictive backlash. The same goes for you. For your own reasons—for your children’s well-being—the club is important to you. Trust me, I felt the same way.” She took each of their hands. “I look forward to the day when I learn that I was wrong.”

She didn’t know it but both Lorna and Jillian were thinking,
So will we
.

Lorna snickered.

“What’s so funny?” Jillian asked.

“Would it hurt to let Bettina
think
she’s being sued?” Lorna mused out loud.

Jillian and Ally were laughing so loud that their daughters stared at them, then they broke into a spasm of giggles.

“Not at all,” Ally gasped. “Lorna, you’re brilliant. Well, this ought to be fun.”

Saturday, 18 May

1:07 p.m.

“What is this, chia seed?” Eleanor lifted a forkful of salad from her plate.

“No, caraway.” Lorna’s answer came with a tentative smile.

Eleanor rewarded her with a snap of her napkin. “Ah! I would have never guessed. Wonderful addition to the pilaf. And those beets! So beautiful.”

Bettina rolled her eyes.

“Eleanor, you’ve barely touched Bettina’s free-range fried chicken and waffles.” Art’s declaration had all the alacrity of a carnival barker. “Trust me, you’ll leave the table five pounds heavier. Especially when you wash it down with the double devil’s food cake she made.”

Eleanor frowned. “God forbid! That’s exactly why I’ve stayed away from it.” She pointed to her untouched chicken. “I have the symphony tonight! The last thing I need is to burst out of my new de la Renta just as I’m being introduced to the guest violinist—what’s his name again? Oh yes, Silvio Jaffe.” She sighed happily. “The board is enthralled with him. The man plays like an angel.”

Bettina groaned. What a fool Art was! It wasn’t as if Bettina was trying to outdo Lorna’s piddly salad with anything too succulently superior—

Okay, sure, maybe just a bit. Then again, a little friendly competition never hurt anyone.

But right now, it was Bettina who was losing on all fronts.

Impressed greatly by Swami Jay’s rationale for a vegan society, Lily now refused to eat her chicken, too, declaring, “Even birds have souls.”

Presuming that Bettina would be upset, Art demanded that Lily stand in the corner while the rest of the family ate dinner.

She did so—in a perfect
tadasana
pose. “Goodie! I can meditate,” she murmured satisfactorily.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” Bettina hissed at Art.

“Why are you mad at me?” he whimpered.

In truth, she was pissed at Jade, who had failed miserably in getting that loser, Ally Thornton, to drop her lawsuit. And from the way Jade put it, Ally’s faux husband couldn’t wait to get the club’s Top Moms Committee into court to cross-examine them.

If any of them repeats even one of my crueler bon mots—something I said in jest, of course!—she better ask to be placed in a witness protection program,
Bettina vowed.

And her mother was raving over Lorna’s rice dreck, while never even acknowledging Bettina’s crispy golden birds? How could she be so insensitive?

She doesn’t have an inkling of all my pain,
Bettina realized.

To add insult to injury, Eleanor turned to Lorna and asked, “Do you have plans for tonight? My friend Genevieve is still in Paris, and she gave me the ticket for her symphony seat. It’s next to mine, in fact.”

“Me?” Blushing, Lorna lowered her fork. “Wouldn’t you prefer to go with Matt?”

“Not unless I want Maestro MTT to ban me for the rest of the season.” Eleanor shuddered at the thought. “There’s a Giants game tonight. I may be Michael Tilson Thomas’s largest donor, but he’d never forgive me if Matt sneaks his iPad into our box like last time and yelps like a crazy man whenever they hit a home run.”

“You know me like a book, Mother,” Matt declared through a mouthful of chicken. “Hey, last time I apologized to him, didn’t I? With a big fat check, I might add.”

To keep Dante from fussing, Lorna pulled him from his high chair and into her lap. “I’m honored you’d consider me, truly, Eleanor. But Bettina and Art have asked if Lily can sleep over. While I play with the kids, Matt can watch the game in peace.”

Eleanor turned to her daughter. “What are your plans for tonight?”

While Art choked on his martini, Bettina took her time chewing one of the grains of rice in Lorna’s pilaf. It’s not as if she could blurt out,
We’re going to a sex club because my husband loves it when I abuse him, and doing it with an audience of perverts may actually make it fun for me, too.

Not exactly polite dinner conversation.

Instead, she gave her mother a big smile. “We’re seeing that new Meryl Streep film. Art thinks she resembled me—back during her
Kramer vs. Kramer
days, of course.”

“Really?” Matt moved his chair closer to hers. “Yep, I see the resemblance now. In profile, you could pass for Meryl. Art, you meant in
The Iron Lady
, right?”

Oblivious as ever, Art nodded—until Bettina kicked him under the table.

“Bettina, what’s the latest on the Thornton lawsuit?” Bettina’s glare was lost on her sister-in-law, who was focused on cutting strips of the chicken for Dante.

“How do you know about that?” Bettina tried to keep her voice level.

Lorna looked up innocently. “Is it supposed to be a secret? I heard a couple of the other moms talking about it at the playground.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it under control.” Bettina had hoped to sound nonchalant, but her venomous tone turned even her mother’s head, for once.

“I agree with you. It’s probably not important in the big picture of the club.”

Bettina couldn’t believe her ears. “You do?”

“Sure. I mean, look at all the wonderful things the club does—not just for our children, but for the city’s more needy citizens, too.” Lorna sighed. “Of course, the more good deeds the club does, the better it looks in the eyes of the public.”

“Really?” Eleanor perked up. “Your little club does charity work? Why, Bettina, that’s wonderful! Why haven’t you mentioned it before?”

“I have, Mother.” The realization that Eleanor had so easily forgotten her few good deeds cut Bettina to the quick. Still, she shrugged it off. “You know how modest I am, Mother. I hate to sound as if I’m tooting my own horn.”

“Since when?” Matt muttered.

Bettina gave him a hard stare.

“You’re not tooting it just for
you
, darling,” Eleanor rambled on. “You’re blowing it for everyone involved. People love to be acknowledged for doing good deeds. I know I do.”

“With the lawsuit and all, maybe now is a great time for some charity fund-raiser with high visibility,” Lorna piped up.

Bettina frowned. “Do tell.”

Lorna shrugged. “It would be hard for Ally to make a case that we”—Bettina winced at the pronoun—“were uncaring, egotistical socialites if we did something important, especially if it involved our children. You know, like a soup kitchen.”

Bettina shuddered. “You mean, allow our tots to fraternize with hobos—in a social setting, no less?”

“You’re brilliant, Lorna!” Matt patted his wife on the back. “The club could call it ‘Adopt a Bum.’”

For once, both Matt’s sister and his wife honored him with the same look:

Shut up. Or else.

Bettina sighed. “I…don’t know about this. The coordination of our club volunteers would be a momentous task—”

Lorna raised her hand. “I’ll happily volunteer to be your co-chair.”

In no way could Bettina disappoint her mother. “Sure. Okay.” She turned to Lorna. “But you’re the lead horse in this race. I won’t mind playing only an honorary role.”

Lorna nodded. “No surprise there. Sure, I’ll take it on.”

“You two working as a team? It’s a brilliant idea!” Eleanor was practically glowing. “In fact, I’ll throw a party to inaugurate the project. We can do it here. In the garden—at night! The theme could be
A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
”

“That’s perfect, Eleanor.” Lorna beamed. “Lots of Japanese lanterns, maybe wood nymphs doing magic tricks and acrobatics for the guests—”

“Great idea!” Bettina didn’t bother to hide her sarcasm. “Perhaps some of the homeless can participate. Many of them live in the parks at night. Does that qualify them as wood nymphs?”

“Your wry sense of humor will be missed as we plan the party, but we’ll muddle along.” Eleanor’s smile wavered, if only for a moment. Still, she pulled both women in close for a hug. “You see, Bettina? Help is always within reach. In fact, I’m sure Lorna could whip your club into shape in no time—if you let her.” Eleanor paused in thought. “Have you ever considered a co-chair position?”