Total Submission (8 page)

Cam bears down on me, so determined,
completely in control. He twists the tie in his hand. “Ready?” he
growls. I nod.

He pulls the tieclosed again, his face
blazing with a domination so intense that it consumes me. I yield
to him, rushing to the edge. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, all I
can do is take what he gives me, over and over, the thick, sweet
slam of his cock splitting me in two as my head pounds and my heart
races, and the world starts to slip away into pure ecstasy.

It’s the most incredible surrender I’ve ever
known.

Cam, my Cam, looks deep into my eyes. He can
see everything, all the way to my very soul. I’m dizzy, reeling,
floating off to some higher plane. My lungs constrict, burning for
air, but all I can feel is the two of us and the burning connection
of his gaze, and how he’s moving inside me, fuck, so deep inside,
hitting everything just right,
possessing
me, until I can’t
take it anymore—

“Come for me,” he gasps, fucking me hard.
“Come now!”

He releases the tie. Air rushes into my
lungs, cold and crisp, and the sensation is so sharp that it
mingles with the pleasure of his cock and the ache of my body and
my whole being shatters in a mind-blowing, life-changing orgasm.
Pleasure rocks through me, again and again. I’m split open, naked
and exposed, every emotion rushing out in one overwhelming tidal
wave.

I hear a ragged groan and then Cam explodes
inside of me, pumping hard as we both ride the waves of pleasure
until our climax fades away.

It’s pure heaven. I’m overcome.

Sobs well in my chest.

“Isabelle?” Cam’s face is stricken with
concern and tenderness.

I’m embarrassed by my tears. But I can’t
stop, something in me has broken wide open, and now I can’t stop
all my emotion from flooding out in a wash of loud, messy sobs.

In his arms, I’m finally free.

“Let it out, Isabelle. Let it all out.” Cam
cradles me to him. “I’ve got you. You’re okay. You’re safe now.
Everything’s going to be alright.”

In his arms, I’m finally free. I don’t want
any secrets between us. I don’t want to hide anymore.

I gulp a shaky breath and wipe away my
tears. “I need to tell you the truth about what happened to me,” I
tell him, my body wracked with emotion. “Why I’m running, why Brent
has this hold over me. Because he knows the secret I’m hiding, and
he won’t let me go, and I can’t… I can’t…”

It’s too overwhelming, I can’t hold back the
sobs.

“Whatever you’ve done, whatever you’re
hiding, it won’t change how I feel about you,” Cam vows. “Trust me,
Isabelle. I’ll protect you, no matter what the cost.”

He’s so calm, so sure, it gives me strength.
To straighten up, and look him in the eye, and confess the dark
secret I’ve been hiding so long.

“I… I killed someone, Cam.”

I freeze in shock. I can’t believe it – that
Isabelle would be capable of such a thing. But she’s lost in her
own guilt and emotion right now, sobbing so hard it slices through
my chest.

I reach for her without thinking. “Shh,” I
murmur, holding her tightly. “I’m right here. I’m listening.”

Isabelle takes a raw breath. “I didn’t mean
to, I swear. Or maybe I did. Maybe a part of me wanted to hurt him.
But I didn’t realize…”

She breaks into tears. I calm her again.
“Just start at the beginning. Tell me everything.”

Isabelle shakes in my arms. “After my mom
went to jail, I bounced around group homes and foster placements
for years. Some of them were OK, but most of the time, the people
couldn’t care less about us. We were just a paycheck to them,
expected to look after ourselves.”

I think back to the file Jake showed me, and
feel the rage build. How could anyone mistreat an innocent child
like Isabelle? How could they not show her the love she
deserves?

Isabelle takes another breath. She’s calming
now, sitting back so I can see her face, and all the pained emotion
flooding her beautiful blue eyes.

“When I was twelve, I went to stay with the
Claytons. There were three kids there already, and we all slept in
the same room together. Mrs. Clayton worked at the hospital, she
was gone all the time. So was Mr. Clayton, at first, but then he
lost his job.”

She takes another breath. I take her hand
and hold it tight. My poor beautiful girl.

“He started drinking all the time, hanging
around the house. He would always walk in on the older girls, when
they were changing or in the shower or whatever.” Isabelle shudders
at the memory. “It was creepy, and wrong, but what could we do? And
none of us wanted to cause problems. Mrs. Clayton was nice enough,
and anything was better than the group homes.”

I get a sinking feeling, I know where this
is going. “Did he touch you?” I ask softly, holding back my
anger.

Isabelle swallows. “Not at first,” she
whispers. “But then Kayla, one of the other girls, she turned
sixteen and left. And it was me and Crystal, and she was just a
kid. My age, but younger, you know? She still couldn’t sleep
without her teddy bear. So… So he started paying attention to me
instead.”

I want to murder that piece of filth. I want
to rip him limb from limb.

“I managed to keep away from him,” Isabelle
continues. “I would get up early, and sleep in the bed with
Crystal, and stay out of his way. But one day, I was home from
school, sick. I had a fever, and there was nobody else around. I
was sleeping, and when I woke up… he was on top of me,” her voice
breaks, “trying to get under the covers.”

I focus on staying calm. Isabelle needs me
to listen right now, not rage against the filthy bastard who dared
abuse her. “It’s OK,” I soothe her again.

Isabelle angrily wipes away her tears. “I
tried to fight him, but he was so much bigger than me. But he was
drunk, and sloppy, and I managed to get away. He chased me through
the house, and I guess he tripped and hit his head. He passed out
on the floor, bleeding. I didn’t… I didn’t stay to help. I just
ran, as fast as I could, back to school, and pretended I’d been
there the whole day. But when I got home again…”

She stops, her eyes turning wretched. “I
must have knocked over an ashtray when I ran, but I didn’t stop.
The whole place burned to the ground. He died in the fire, Cam. He
died, and I left him to burn!”

“No, you didn’t,” I insist, hugging her to
me. “You didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“But I did.” Isabelle blinks at me. “He was
laying there, bleeding all over the floor. I could have helped him,
I could have called someone or gone to a neighbor. But I didn’t. I
stood over his body, and hoped he’d never wake up. And I got my
wish!”

I grip her shoulders tightly. “Don’t say
that, Isabelle. You were just a scared kid, you weren’t responsible
for what happened, do you hear me? You were defending yourself,
that’s all. Nobody could blame you for it.”

Her face twists. “Brent did. When I told
him, we were teenagers. He said that I murdered Clayton, and if
anyone found out, I would go to prison for the rest of my life. I
can’t take the guilt,” she sobs, “I’m so, so sorry.”

I swallow back the rage. How could Brent do
this to her? She’s been through so much. But now I see the terrible
weight she’s been carrying, believing all these years she was
responsible for this man’s death.

That she was bad and rotten, and could be
sent to jail at any moment.

“Look at me, Isabelle,” I command.

She’s still crying desperate sobs, so I tilt
her chin up towards me and stare reassuringly into her eyes.
“You’re safe now, I promise. The past is gone, it’s all over. You
did nothing wrong, I swear. You did whatever it took to survive,
but I don’t believe for a second you killed him. You’re a good
person, it’s in your bones. He was the bad one, he preyed on you,
and tried to hurt you. And he got what he deserved.”

Isabelle’s eyes seem to brighten. “You… you
don’t hate me?” she asks in a whisper.

Is that what she’s been thinking? That if I
discovered her secret, I would walk away? No wonder she’s kept her
distance, always holding back, trying to keep control.

“No. I could never hate you, my darling,” I
swear. “Your secret is safe with me.”

I see the relief in her eyes. “I’ve been
holding it in so long,” she takes a deep breath. “I thought I’d
never be free from the secret.”

“You are now.” I kiss her softly, feeling
her yield to me, totally trusting. “You’re free. The past can’t
hurt you anymore.”

That night between us changes
everything.

Before, I was holding back, scared to
surrender to him for fear I would reveal my dark secret. No matter
how much I wanted to obey him and submit, a part of me felt like I
was on the edge of a tall cliff, too terrified to make the leap.
Afraid that after he knew everything, he wouldn’t want me.

Now I’m falling, but it’s an amazing
feeling. I know that Cam will catch me before I hit the ground.

Always, he’ll be there.

Now, we’re more in sync than ever before. We
fall into a relaxed routine, waking up together every morning, and
eating breakfast together before he goes to work. I changed my
phone number and haven’t heard from Brent. And when I go out, the
security guard Cam hired to stay near me in public makes me feel
safe and protected. It’s been a week now, and I’ve loved the
freedom of spending my days alone: sometimes I meet Olivia for
lunch, but mostly I’ve been enjoying the city, visiting art
galleries and museums, and planning more charity events.

I’ve been thinking I can do more than just
the usual fundraising. When my father died, he left a lot of money
to a charitable foundation in the family name. I never felt
confident enough to talk to the board about our donations, but now
I’m planning a meeting to discuss what we do with that money. I’d
love to be able to start a program helping foster kids, or
organizing volunteers and day trips for kids in group homes so that
they can see the world outside the narrow confines of the
system.

I’ve been blessed with so much. For years, I
was panicked about it being snatched away again, but now with Cam I
feel a security I’ve never felt before. Maybe I can stop worrying
about losing it all, and start thinking about giving it away
instead.

The week speeds past, until suddenly, it’s
Friday. My birthday.

I haven’t told Cam – birthdays are always
weird for me, a bittersweet reminder of my life with the woman who
was my birth mom. The Ashcrofts liked to splash out with fancy
dinners and gifts for me, but it always made me feel like they were
trying too hard to erase the past. Now, I prefer a quiet, low-key
day, so I don’t say a word to Cam, and instead spend the day at the
spa, brainstorming ideas for my meeting with the foundation. By the
time I let myself in the penthouse in the evening, I’m all relaxed
– and full of great ideas for outreach to the kids.

“Cam?” I call, stepping into the apartment.
He said he might be home early for dinner. I love our evenings in
together: every night, he shows me a new side to our pleasure,
pushing me further, teaching me all the ways I can surrender.

My shoes step on something soft. I stop. The
hallway is covered with rose petals, stretching into the living
room.

My heart leaps. “Cam?” I call again,
following the trail down the hall.

In the living room, Cam waits – surrounded
by a mountain of gift-wrapped boxes. “Happy birthday,
sweetheart.”

I gasp. “You did all this for me?” I look
around in amazement. The room is covered in hundreds of roses in
cut-class vases. They’re my favorite white English variety, the
kind with sweet scented perfume. It looks like every available
surface is covered, and the floor is piled with boxes and bags.
“Cam, how did you know?”

He gets up and takes me in his arms, giving
me a slow, hot kiss. “You’re mine,” he says possessively. “It’s my
job to know everything about you.”

Damn, he’s hot when he’s all dominant like
this.

I look around, overwhelmed. How did I get so
lucky with this man? Everything he does makes me feel so special
and treasured.

“Come sit down and open your presents,” Cam
grins, like he’s the one celebrating. He leads me to the couch.

“I don’t know where to start!” I protest,
still dazed. He laughs, and hands me a shoe-box-sized gift, wrapped
in amazing silver and gold paper with ribbons.

“It seems like a crime to rip that open,” I
say, carefully sliding the ribbon off.

“At that rate, we’ll be here all night,” Cam
smiles. He leans closer to whisper in my ear, “And I have even more
surprises planned for you.”

His breath is hot against my skin, and I
shiver from his nearness. My nipples tighten in anticipation. Every
night with him so far has been a wild ride. I can’t imagine what
he’s planning this time.

Maybe I can unwrap faster.

I rip off the paper, and find a box of
Louboutin shoes. They’re amazing black sandals with straps to
criss-cross up my calves: totally sexy and wicked.

“Cam, these are amazing!” I squeal, slipping
one on. Of course, it fits perfectly.

“That’s just the beginning,” Cam grins,
handing me another box. I tear into the wrapping, feeling like
every Christmas and birthday has come rolled into one. Soon the
floor is littered with paper and ribbons as I discover the generous
gifts Cam has picked out for me: designer clothing, gorgeous
diamond jewelry, makeup and more.

“You’re spoiling me,” I protest, when Cam
hands me the last box. “All this is too much, Cam,”

“Nothing’s too much for you,” he smiles,
kissing me tenderly. “I just like to see you smile.”

“I’d smile without any of this,” I tell him
honestly. “I love the thought, but all I need is you.”