Torn Asunder (22 page)

"Max!" Cle's
voice had a strangled sound.

"Uhhh?" He looked back at Cle, a blank expression
on his face.

"I think that Cle would like you to drop the
subject," Alistair offered in a soft voice, gesturing to his wife to
remain calm as she glared at Jennifer. "The reasons for Dev and Cle's
marriage are their own business," he finished.

"Oh, God!" Cle felt her face contorting as she
looked from one kind face to the other. If it took the rest of her life, she
would pay Dev Carstairs back for this one, she vowed to herself. She found
herself drinking the tea, drinking the hot toddy, drinking the Scotch. When she
rose to her feet, there was a distinct wobble to her walk.

"See," Max chortled, "I knew she wasn't
herself. She's staggering from the shock."

"From the alcohol, I think," Dev said kindly, one
arm supporting her, even when she tried to turn away from him.

They had a barbecue meal, which at any other time, Cle would
have loved. They cooked prawns wrapped in foil, and deep-water fish the same
way. It was all served with a lemony butter that she could feel dribbling down
her chin. As side dishes there were huge bowls of fruit and iced fruit juices.
Cle's enjoyment would have been ultimate if she hadn't had to worry about the
wedding and the way Jennifer looked at Dev. The whiskey she had drunk dulled
the edges of her reactions so that by the end of dinner she was sure her only
worry was Jennifer. Marriage to Dev was only a dream that could be put aside.

The next day she spent in bed, the combination of seafood
and alcohol playing havoc with her stomach and head. Dev again assumed the role
of nurse and brought her cold cloths for her head and weak tea for her stomach.

Cle wanted nothing more than to have a knock down drag out
battle with him but she didn't have the strength. Even opening her eyes was an
agony. "You can leave, you know. You don't have to stay with me." Cle
was trying to be brave even though she felt she'd been keel hauled the length
of the
Queen Mary.
Damn, why did she think
of that? She did not want to remember any thing about Saturday at the
Nivenses'.

"Would I desert you, my little bride-to-be?" Dev
crooned to her.

"I... hope... Australia's ... largest... shark ... gets
... you," she gasped, her head splitting. "And I would never marry a
man who travels in such fast company— drinking all the time," Cle finished
forlornly.

"I don't have a hangover, love," Dev pointed out,
changing the cloth on her head.

"I never had such things until I met you." She
groaned. "You're a bad influence. Go away."

"I'll change my ways," Dev promised, laughing. He
helped her to the bathroom to shower and shampoo her hair.

"Leopards never change their spots," Cle pointed
out. "I'll join AA."

"They
could help you," Cle sighed. "Thank you." Dev leaned down to
kiss her. "Don't mention it."

They emerged from the bathroom later and Dev helped her slip
into a fresh nightie. As she drifted to sleep, her last hazy awareness was that
Dev had done this before, that Dev had taken care of her in many unattractive
situations, that he had seen her in a more vulnerable, unprotected way than
anyone in the world .

When she woke in the
morning, her first thought was that her mouth had turned into a desert. Her
second thought was that she had to run.

She turned on her side
and looked at Dev sleeping

next to her. One of his
arms was thrown back on the pillow, but he wasn't laying flat on his back. His
body was bent protectively toward her.

I can't marry you, Dev,
she spoke to him in her mind. I want to marry you. I want that more than
anything I have ever wanted and maybe if you were anyone else, I would just
grab my chance and run with it. How can I with you? She lifted her hand toward
the hair falling over his forehead. She touched it lightly, not wanting to wake
him. You have a responsibility, Dev, and I know you. You might think that it
wouldn't bother you, but I think it would some day and if we were married for
years and I saw that look in your eyes, that look that said you'd done the
wrong thing, then I couldn't live with that. I couldn't lose you then. Now, I
have a chance of being a little happy without you. I'll have my work... and my
memories... but if we were married, I couldn't give that up. It would hurt me
too much. And I can't explain any of this to you, Dev, because you would just
ride down all my arguments.

She slipped out of bed and into the shower, feeling logy but
purposeful. This time she wouldn't just dart away. She would make solid plans
so that Dev couldn't find her. She would talk to Jaime.

Dev drove her to work. He was in a relaxed, lazy mood. When he
pulled her to him, outside Max's salon, his kiss was warm, promising. "I
feel damned good knowing that next week at this time your last name will be
Carstairs, my darling." He let her go with one last hug. "I'll pick
you up tonight. Let's get take-out food, shall we?"

"Fine." Cle smiled, reaching for him, her kiss
opening on his mouth.

"Hey," Dev drawled, his hands tightening on her.
"I like that. Shall we go home for an hour or two?" . Cle's pulse
galloped but she shook her head. "Lots of work."

She
got out of the car blindly, not looking back. . When she reached her cubicle
she sat there for long moments trying to formulate a plan.

She called Jaime, knowing it would be the middle of the
night for him. "Jaime? Jaime? It's Cle. Yes, I know what time it is. Yes,
I know how much sleep you need. I'm in trouble. I need your help. Yes. Dev has
set a wedding date. Yes. If I come back to the States, I have... What? What did
you say?" She sat in stunned silence as Jaime spoke rapidly. His plan was
amazing. Yes... yes I suppose you're right. If I'm married to you, Dev couldn't
do a thing. But Jaime
...
I don't like
to take advantage of you like this... Yes, I know you always said that you
wanted to take care of me... Yes,
I...
I think it's a good idea. All right. Good-bye, Jaime."

She wasn't that lucky when she called the airlines. The
soonest she could have a reservation was in five days. That was one day before
the wedding date! Dev would be angry. No, Dev would be bloody furious, to put
it in his words, Cle thought, holding her head in her hands.

She worked through the morning on the Alice Springs
collection, amazed that any ideas could come from a mind that was bent only on
escape.

She contented herself
with an apple and cheese lunch and a carton of skim milk, not wanting to leave
her drawing board when the sketches seemed to flow from her hands.

The phone rang when she
had a big bite of apple in her mouth. She chewed and then answered,
'"ello." She swallowed some.

"What the devil
are you eating?" Dev laughed into the phone.

Cle swallowed the rest. "Apple. Hi."

"Hi, yourself
bride-to-be. Getting nervous?"

"Are you?"
Cle whispered.

"I wish I could come over there and get you and get
married right now." The sensual snarl in his voice sent Cle's temperature up.
She knew she was too young for a hot flash, but she felt sunburned all through
her body
...
on the inside. She heard
his sigh and stiffened. Maybe he was having second thoughts. "I've just
gotten a phone call from my sister Tessa. She, Sybil, and Roddy will be coming
in tomorrow and are booked into the Boulevard Hotel. Lord!" Dev sighed
again. "They want to go to Alice Springs. Are you laughing?"

Cle had to smile at the anguished sound of his voice.
"Not really. But I'm doing some sketches for a show and it will be called
the Alice Springs Collection."

"Terrific." Dev sounded like a martyr. "Tessa
and Sybil will no doubt buy the whole collection. First they want to fly to
Alice Springs, then drive to Ayer's Rock. God, Alistair tells me that it's a
three-hundred-mile drive between those spots.

"It looks like you'll be busy this week." Cle saw
a glimmer of hope. If Dev was going to be busy with his family he wouldn't
notice that she was gone until she was well away.

"We'll
be busy, my love. You
are marrying me. You are marrying my family. I cannot
...
I will not entertain them alone."

"You make them sound like monsters." Cle doodled
on the pad in front of her, watching Dev's face appear on the paper.

"Roddy isn't bad. My sisters are whirlwinds. You notice
I didn't say my brothers-in-law were coming. They take every chance they can to
get a breather from my sisters."

Cle's laugh bubbled up.
"You're terrible."

"That's my girl. I thought for a moment I wasn't going
to hear you laugh." His voice had a husky rasp, making Cle's nerve ends
tingle. "I can't keep my mind on what I'm doing thinking about you. Don't
work late tonight, please."

"I won't."
Cle wanted him with a real ache.

"I have something to tell you, something I've been
meaning to tell you for a long time." The voice changed. "By the way,
are you wearing your glasses?"

"Yes." Cle could hear the throb in her voice.
"What do you have to tell me?"

"Tonight. Keep your glasses on, love. I don't want you
getting headaches. Oh, God, I definitely don't want you to have a headache
tonight. Later."

Cle sat there staring into the earpiece of the phone even
after the voice came on telling her that her phone was off the hook. "Dev.
Dev, let me go. Let me go now," she pleaded, one fist coming up to press
her mouth.” I will have the strength. I will have the strength to leave
you," she grated out.

That evening they were hardly in the door before Dev turned
her in his arms and began making love to her. The take-out food sat on the hall
table despite Cle's halfhearted protest.

Dev didn't listen. His total absorption in removing all her
clothes with loving caresses and punctuated by long hypnotic kisses soon
infected her. "Just think< love, we are going to have a lifetime to do
this." He scooped her up into his arms, his eyes a lazy heat on her.
"I've been thinking about doing this all day." He strode into their
room and set her on the bed, then sank down beside her, his hands stroking down
her body as he removed the last of her clothes. He leaned back to look at her
body as he often did, his hands making circles on her abdomen. "Do you
suppose you're pregnant? I've checked your calendar. Your period is
overdue."

It always flabbergasted
Cle how interested Dev was in her personally, how he had always been very
caring if she had a rough menstrual period. "I'm always erratic." She
shrugged, feeling odd. "Would you mind if I was?" She had a moment's
indecision. Had she skipped some of her pills? Lord, yes! What if she was
pregnant? A

rash of happy feeling coursed through her body. Dev's baby!
She would have something of Dev.

"Mind?" He kissed her navel. "I'd love it! A
little girl just like you with Yankee courage and sapphire eyes." Dev's
words slurred as he moved his mouth over her body, his hands urgent but gentle
on her form. "Kiss me, Cle. I need you so. I want you so... and that's
what I wanted to tell you. I need every pore of you, every fiber." Dev
groaned.

Crying, not able to stem the flood, Cle kissed him.

The quiet explosion of their love deepened the aura around
them, separating them from all others, lifting them away and beyond to their
own plane, answering an elemental need that burned away anyone else, and other
thought. For one fleeting moment, Cle was sure that she saw a sturdy little boy
with Dev's eyes smiling at her and her glow intensified.

CHAPTER TEN

Devs
sisters were dynamos, Cle thought after the second day of being whirled by them
through Sydney. When she appealed to Dev, he just told her that was one of the disadvantages
of being married to him, but she would learn to cope. Roddy was a slighter
edition of Dev with chestnut hair. He was enthralled by the bare breasted women
who inhabited Sydney's beaches.

One day when the
sisters had gone to explore Argyle Arts Center, Dev suggested to Roddy that
they surf at the beach where he had taken Cle.

"I would rather go to Bondi Beach
and look at all the beautiful Australian breasts," Roddy answered,
grinning