Topdog / Underdog (9 page)

 

Booth appears in the room. He was standing behind the screen, unseen all this time.

He goes to the door, soundlessly, just stands there.

 

And they was all in Luckys. Shit. And they was waiting for me to come in from my last throw. Cant take too many fools in one day, its bad luck, Link, so they was all waiting in there for me to come in thuh door and let thuh liquor start flowing and thuh music start going and let thuh boys who dont have thuh balls to get nothing but a regular job and uh weekly paycheck, let them crowd around and get in somehow on thuh excitement, and make way for thuh ladies, so they can run they hands on my clothes and feel thuh magic and imagine thuh man, with plenty to go around, living and breathing underneath.

They all thought I was down and out! They all thought I was some NoCount HasBeen LostCause motherfucker. But I got my shit back. Thats right. They stepped on me and kept right on stepping. Not no more. Who thuh man?! Goddamnit, who thuh—

 

Booth closes the door.

 

 

 

Another evening to remember, huh?

 

(Rest)
Uh—yeah, man, yeah. Thats right, thats right.

 

Had me a memorable evening myself.

 

I got news.

What you been up to?

 

Yr news first.

 

 

Its good.

 

Yeah?

 

Yeah.

 

Go head then.

Grace got down on her knees. Down on her knees, man. Asked
me
tuh marry
her
.

 

Shit.

 

Amazing Grace!

 

Lucky you, man.

 

And guess where she was, I mean, while I was here waiting for her. She was over at her house watching tv. I’d told her come over Thursday and I got it all wrong and was thinking I said Wednesday and here I was sitting waiting my ass off and all she was doing was over at her house just watching tv.

 

Howboutthat.

 

She wants to get married right away. Shes tired of waiting. Feels her clock ticking and shit. Wants to have my baby. But dont look so glum man, we gonna have a boy and we gonna name it after you.

 

Thats great, man. Thats really great.

 

 

Whats yr news?

 

Nothing.

Mines good news, huh?

 

Yeah. Real good news, bro.

 

Bad news is—well, shes real set on us living together. And she always did like this place.

Yr gonna have to leave. Sorry.

 

 

No sweat.

 

This was only a temporary situation anyhow.

 

No sweat man. You got a new life opening up for you, no sweat. Graces moving in today? I can leave right now.

 

I dont mean to put you out.

 

No sweat. I’ll just pack up.

 

Lincoln rummages around finding a suitcase and begins to pack his things.

 

Just like that, huh? “No sweat”?! Yesterday you lost yr damn job. You dont got no cash. You dont got no friends, no nothing, but you clearing out just like that and its “no sweat”?!

 

Youve been real generous and you and Grace need me gone and its time I found my own place.

No sweat.

 

No sweat.

K. I’ll spill it. I got another job, so getting my own place aint gonna be so bad.

 

You got a new job! Doing what?

 

Security guard.

 

Security guard. Howaboutthat.

 

Lincoln continues packing the few things he has.

He picks up a whiskey bottle.

 

Go head, take thuh med-sin, bro. You gonna need it more than me. I got, you know, I got my love to keep me warm and shit.

 

You gonna have to get some kind of work, or are you gonna let Grace support you?

 

I got plans.

 

She might want you now but she wont want you for long if you dont get some kind of job. Shes a smart chick. And she cares about you. But she aint gonna let you treat her like some pack mule while shes out working her ass off and yr laying up in here scheming and dreaming to cover up thuh fact that you dont got no skills.

Grace is very cool with who I am and where Im at, thank you.

 

It was just some advice. But, hey, yr doing great just like yr doing.

 

 

When Pops left he didnt take nothing with him. I always thought that was fucked-up.

 

He was a drunk. Everything he did was always half regular and half fucked-up.

 

Whyd he leave his clothes though? Even drunks gotta wear clothes.

 

Whyd he leave his clothes whyd he leave us? He was uh drunk, bro. He—whatever, right? I mean, you aint gonna figure it out by thinking about it. Just call it one of thuh great unsolved mysteries of existence.

 

Moms had a man on thuh side.

 

Yeah? Pops had side shit going on too. More than one.

He would take me with him when he went to visit them. Yeah.

Sometimes he’d let me meet the ladies. They was all very nice. Very polite. Most of them real pretty. Sometimes he’d let me watch. Most of thuh time I was just outside on thuh porch or in thuh lobby or in thuh car waiting for him but sometimes he’d let me watch.

What was it like?

 

Nothing. It wasnt like nothing. He made it seem like it was this big deal this great thing he was letting me witness but it wasnt like nothing.

One of his ladies liked me, so I would do her after he’d done her. On thuh sly though. He’d be laying there, spent and sleeping and snoring and her and me would be sneaking it.

 

Shit.

 

It was alright.

 

 

Lincoln takes his crumpled Abe Lincoln getup from the closet. Isnt sure what to do with it.

 

Im gonna miss you—coming home in that getup. I dont even got a picture of you in it for the album.

 

(Rest)
Hell, I’ll put it on. Get thuh camera get thuh camera.

 

Yeah?

 

What thuh fuck, right?

 

Yeah, what thuh fuck.

Booth scrambles around the apartment and finds the camera.

Lincoln quickly puts on the getup, including 2 thin smears of white pancake makeup, more like war paint than whiteface.

 

They didnt fire me cause I wasnt no good. They fired me cause they was cutting back. Me getting dismissed didnt have no reflection on my performance. And I was a damn good Honest Abe considering.

 

Yeah. You look great man, really great. Fix yr hat. Get in thuh light. Smile.

 

Lincoln didnt never smile.

 

Sure he smiled.

 

No he didnt, man, you seen thuh pictures of him. In all his pictures he was real serious.

 

You got a new job, yr having a good day, right?

 

Yeah.

 

So smile.

 

Snapshots gonna look pretty stupid with me—

 

Booth takes a picture.

 

Thisll look great in thuh album.

Lets take one together, you and me.

 

No thanks. Save the film for the wedding.

 

This wasnt a bad job. I just outgrew it. I could put in a word for you down there, maybe when business picks up again theyd hire you.

 

No thanks. That shit aint for me. I aint into pretending Im someone else all day.

 

I was just sitting there in thuh getup. I wasnt pretending nothing.

 

What was going on in yr head?

 

I would make up songs and shit.

 

And think about women.

 

Sometimes.

 

Cookie.

 

Sometimes.

 

And how she came over here one night looking for you.

 

I was at Luckys.

She didnt know that.

 

I was drinking.

 

All she knew was you couldnt get it up. You couldnt get it up with her so in her head you was tired of her and had gone out to screw somebody new and this time maybe werent never coming back.

She had me pour her a drink or 2. I didnt want to. She wanted to get back at you by having some fun of her own and when I told her to go out and have it, she said she wanted to have her fun right here. With me.

And then, just like that, she changed her mind.

But she’d hooked me. That bad part of me that I fight down everyday . You beat yrs down and it stays there dead but mine keeps coming up for another round. And the bad part of me took her clothing off and carried her into thuh bed and had her, Link, yr Cookie. It wasnt just thuh bad part of me it was all of me, man, I had her. Yr damn wife. Right in that bed.

 

I used to think about her all thuh time but I dont think about her no more.

 

I told her if she dumped you I’d marry her but I changed my mind.

 

I dont think about her no more.

 

You dont go back.

 

Nope.

Cause you cant. No matter what you do you cant get back to being who you was. Best you can do is just pretend to be yr old self.

 

Yr outa yr mind.

 

Least Im still me!

 

Least I work. You never did like to work. You better come up with some kinda way to bring home the bacon or Gracell drop you like a hot rock.

 

I got plans!

 

Yeah, you gonna throw thuh cards, right?

 

Thats right!

 

You a double left-handed motherfucker who dont stand a chance in all get out out there throwing no cards.

 

You scared. You scared I got yr shit.

 

You aint never gonna do nothing.