Too Cool for This School (12 page)

“What do they come with?” I asked.

“You get your choice of three sides,” Mint gushed. “I’m
getting papaya salad, garlic noodles, and braised string beans.”

I felt caught off guard. I didn’t really want to eat those things, but suddenly dinner felt very competitive.

“What a fantastic selection,” my dad said. “But I bet the portions are enormous. I don’t think I can tuck away a whole crab. Would you like to split?” He reached across the table and touched my mom’s hand.

“Of course,” my mom said to him, placing her other hand on top of his.

Then everybody looked at me. I couldn’t believe it. Did my parents expect me to split a crab dinner with Angelina Mint Taravel? This. Was. Not. Happening.

“You don’t have to split,” my mom said. “I know you don’t want to pick out a crab for dinner.”

The way my mother said this made me feel like a complete child. I mean, it was like the whole table thought I was a baby. I was twelve. I should have been able to pick out my own crab. So I stood up and stated that very clearly.

“I can select my own crab,” I said. “If everybody else is eating crab, then I want to eat crab too.”

My dad frowned at me sympathetically. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to do that,” I said.

“You’re not picking out your own crab,” my mom reminded me. “You’re picking out one to share.”

“I know. I don’t mind sharing a dinner,” I lied. “But I want to be the crab picker,” I explained, pointing to
myself. My stomach tightened at the thought of selecting which crab would die. But I couldn’t back down in front of Mint. I had to show my parents that she wasn’t
that
special. “Mint, let’s go to the tank.”

And she stood up and grabbed my arm in a hugging way (that annoyed me) and off we went to select our crab.

Standing in front of the tank, watching all these orangey claws reach toward the glass begging for freedom was tough to take.

“You look totally sad,” Mint said.

And I couldn’t hold in my frustration any longer.

“Ava says you texted Todd,” I told her.

Mint put her arm around me, and gave me a strong squeeze. It made me want to puke.

“Well,” she said, “he texted me first.”

I almost fell into the crab tank’s glass wall. That was impossible. There was no way Todd texted Mint first.

“When did he text you?” I didn’t believe a word of it.

“Two days ago,” she said. “He was asking me a question about Jagger.”

This was terrible. Did Jagger
really
like Mint?
Really?
Jagger was cool and funny and interested in Ava.

“Well, you can’t like Jagger,” I said. “He’s Ava’s.”

Mint shook her head slowly. “Nobody told me that. How was I supposed to know?”

I thought back to the trampoline party. Ava had tried to keep that a secret. But it was sort of obvious. At least to people with normal social intelligence.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “I thought you liked Tuma.”

Mint’s eyes grew wide with surprise. “Did he tell you that?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t talk to Tuma. But you met up with him at Skull Coast and picked out shirts together.”

“I like his style,” Mint said. “But I do not like Tuma. I’ve already given him the friendship talk. And we’ve both agreed that we don’t want to be anything more.”

“What?” I asked. She’d been at my school for one week and she’d already managed to have a friendship talk with a guy? She was out of control. I needed to start laying down some boundaries.

“I don’t want you to text Todd anymore,” I said. “It’s a girl code violation.”

“Really?” Mint asked. “Because he says the nicest things about you.”

This blew my mind. Todd Romero was texting nice things about me to my weird cousin?

“Show me your phone!” I said. “What did he say?”

She shook her head again. It was so annoying when she shook her head. “I left my phone in your dad’s car. I thought it would be rude to bring it to the restaurant.”

How lame was she? Todd was texting her about me and she doesn’t tell me.

“Don’t you want to pick out a crab?” Mint asked.

I focused on the tank. The crabs crawled around looking so pathetic. I lifted my finger to the glass and pointed at a doomed crab’s face.

“They can tell what’s about to happen. Their eyes are filled with fear,” I said.

Mint pointed at the exact same crab. “That’s its butt,” she said.

My cousin was so annoying.

“Fine. You pick it out,” I said. I didn’t care if we get the one with the scared butt or not. I power walked back to the table and sat down.

“You don’t have to eat a crab,” my mother said, leaning over and patting my arm. “You can get chicken teriyaki. Or a hamburger. Or I bet they have a grilled cheese sandwich on the kids’ menu.”

Yeah, right. I was
not
going to eat a grilled cheese sandwich off the kids’ menu while Angelina Mint Taravel ate our crab. Never! I could eat half that stinking crab.

Conversation was okay at first, but then it turned rotten. Mint started making demands.

“Lane, I’ve been wondering if I could borrow one of your dresser drawers,” she asked. “You can pick which one.”

Why would she wait to mention this in front of my parents? She’d ambushed me. Did she want my parents to think I was some sort of drawer hoarder incapable of sharing? Because I wasn’t. It just never occurred to me that Mint would need to unpack her duffel bag. She seemed to enjoy keeping all her belongings hidden inside it.

“Of course Lane doesn’t mind,” my mother said, speaking for me.

“You should take two drawers,” my dad said. I shot him a look. Was he kidding?

“Good idea,” my mom said. “One for socks. One for your bras and underwear.”

“Mom!” I said. Why did she need to say that in public—and in front of my dad?

“Is that okay, Lane?” Mint asked, blinking at me in a kind way.

“Sure,” I said. “I can clean a drawer out tonight.” I tried to pretend that my dad hadn’t said two.

“But I think two drawers would be better,” my mom encouraged. “Give your cousin a little room.”

Wow. My mother’s logic was totally messed up. It would be better for Mint to have more room. Didn’t she see that meant I’d have less room?

“You are such a trouper,” my dad said.

“I really appreciate all your help,” Mint said. “You’re awesome.”

I watched her grab a dinner roll from the basket and split it open with her thumbs. Then I felt a hand on me and I jumped a little. But it was my mom.

“You really are awesome,” she said in a sappy way.

Gag. What would my cousin ask for next?

“So are you learning anything interesting at school yet?” my dad asked.

Mint nodded enthusiastically. “I have learned a ton about New Mexico.”

Then she listed the most random facts about my state. She made it sound really weird. Which it wasn’t.

“You’ve got a mind for facts,” my father said.

“Well, I want to remember all this stuff so I can tell my mom about it. I think she’d really like it here,” Mint said.

I didn’t like the way that sounded.

“You mean like when she visits?” I asked, hoping the answer would be immediate.

Mint sat straight up and grinned. “Yeah, but wouldn’t it be great if she came and fell in love with it and we moved here?”

The room spun a little.

“That would be great!” my mom said. “It would be so much fun having you and Betina around.”

“And Clark,” my dad said. “Let’s not forget anybody.”

“Right,” Mint said, letting her grin fade.

I decided not to freak out at the table, because I figured the odds of Mint and her mom and new stepdad relocating were low.

When our crab arrived, I wished I had been staring at a hamburger.

“Just accept that this is going to be pretty messy experience,” my dad said, tying the ends of his bib together.

“Here you go,” Mint said, handing me what looked like
a pair of pliers. “Are there any parts you’re craving? A particular leg or claw?”

This poor animal looked so dead. And the chef had arranged the condiments so our crustacean appeared to be clutching a ramekin filled with pink sauce.

“I’m going to start with our beans,” I said.

The sound of people cracking open a crab was very unsettling. Also, crab juice squirts very far.

“This is delicious!” Mint said. “In Alaska, I feel like I’m always eating salmon in the fall. Crab is a nice change.”

“I wish we had that problem,” my dad said with a chuckle.

“We should buy tickets and go,” my mom said. “Every year I think about visiting.”

“Ooh,” Mint said. “Do it!”

That was when I swallowed wrong and began choking on a bean. My mom gently slapped my back. As quick as I could, I grabbed my water to try to wash it down.

“No,” I said. “Not Alaska.”

“But you’ve never been,” my dad said. “I bet you’d love it. They have moose there.”

Cough. Cough
. “Hawaii,” I gasped. “I’d rather go to Hawaii.”

My mom stopped patting my back.

“I’ll show you how to lick a glacier,” Mint said.

“That’s disgusting,” I said.
Cough. Cough
. “I just lost my appetite.”

With that, I pushed away my beans. And then I stuck my tongue out at our poor, dead crab. And just when I
thought things couldn’t get any worse, something really bizarre happened. I heard a cell phone ring and it was Mint’s. I was really surprised to hear this. Because she’d said she’d left her cell phone in my dad’s car. Why was she lying to me about that? What else was she lying to me about? I couldn’t stop glaring at her.

“It’s my mom!” she said, cheerfully placing her phone next to her head. “She said she’d phone me as soon as the ship got to their port in Italy.”

I turned to my mom. “Shouldn’t she take that call in the lobby?” My mom couldn’t stand it when people talked on their cell phones at the table.

My mom motioned to Mint. “Follow me up front.”

Mint and my mom weaved their way around people’s tables and turned a corner, out of view. I was just about to tell my dad that I could not stand Mint when his phone started to buzz.

“I need to take this,” he said, getting up.

Sitting alone at the table with two dead crabs wasn’t ideal. Because, in addition to looking like dead crabs, they smelled like dead crabs. So I just decided to breathe half as much as normal and stare at the saltshaker until my family returned. But then something unexpected happened. I felt a person tap me on the shoulder. And when I turned around I was shocked to see Todd.

“Hi, Lane,” Todd said.

I felt my face blush. He looked very dressed up in khaki pants and a cute sweater. Why was he here?

“I didn’t know you came to this restaurant,” he said. “My family is celebrating my grandparents’ anniversary.”

I blinked at him in disbelief.

“We’re over there,” he said.

I followed the aim of his finger to a crowded table filled with the remains of a big white cake.

“I brought you a piece,” he said, handing me a small dish loaded with a slice of heavily frosted cake.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention all night,” he said.

My heart raced very quickly when I heard this. I loved the idea of Todd trying to get my attention all night.

“I’ve got to get back to my table now,” he said. Then he did something terrible. He handed me a second piece of cake.

“Oh, thanks,” I said. But I didn’t think I could eat two pieces of cake.

“It’s for Mint,” he said. “Does she eat cake?”

I didn’t even answer that question, because I didn’t even care.

“Thanks,” I said. “You’d better go. My dad is coming back.”

“He can know that we’re friends, can’t he?” Todd asked.

But if he knew we were friends, he might eventually suspect that we were more than friends. Which we most definitely were. We passed each other notes all the time. And we’d held hands. Twice.

“He’s taking an important business call,” I said. “Next time?”

“Okay,” Todd said. “I’ll text you later.”

“Cool,” I said. Then I waved.

And as soon as Todd left, I inhaled Mint’s piece of cake. There was no way I was going to let Todd give my crazy cousin a slice of his grandparents’ anniversary cake. No. Way. But then I realized that I didn’t want to have to explain who had brought me my own piece of cake. So I ate that one too. And then I stashed the empty plates on a nearby table whose occupants had just left. By the time my parents got back, I was feeling very full and extremely energized.

“My mom is having an amazing honeymoon,” Mint said. “She and Clark just visited the Colosseum.”

Gag. I’d heard of the Colosseum in fourth grade. It was a place where crowds gathered to watch gladiators fight vicious animals to the death, like tigers, elephants, lions, bears, and ostriches. What a rotten place to visit on your honeymoon.

“Aren’t you going to eat more crab?” my mom asked, pointing to the big orange shell on the platter that I had not touched.

“I’m good,” I said. I turned around and sneaked another look at Todd. And when I did that, I realized that Mint had had him in clear view the entire evening. Not
only had she lied to me about her cell phone. She knew Todd was in the restaurant and she hadn’t told me.

I turned back to the table and watched Mint as she cracked open our crab’s larger claw. Using a small fork, she dug out chunks of glistening white meat from its shell. I watched her place it in her tiny mouth. Then she cracked another shell. And something about the way she pried open and devoured that crustacean, little bite by little bite, made me realize that even though Angelina Mint Taravel was my own flesh and blood, I shouldn’t trust her.