Too Cool for This School (4 page)

This was a great arrangement, because I used my desk as a well-organized storage area. It was the kind of desk with a lid that lifted up, so I kept all sorts of things in it: lip gloss, magazines, notebooks, pens, exciting notes passed to me by my friends, et cetera. My desk was situated in
the ideal place for sending and receiving notes. It sat kitty-corner from Todd, Lucia, and Jagger. So we had a good note-passing flow. I could pass any slip of paper to any one of my friends anywhere in the room. And because we were careful note-passers, we never got caught. And since Ava was just one row away, I was usually partnered with her for group work. It was a dream seating chart.

The day of my first class-captain meeting, I obsessed about what would happen. I knew we met for forty-five minutes in the administrative meeting room next to the secretary. But I had no clue what happened beyond that. Did they serve snacks? Who was going to be our faculty mentor? Would we take the group photo at the beginning? At the end? Would we start planning the Halloween Carnival? Ooh. Would we start purchasing carnival supplies online? I really hoped we’d start party planning as soon as possible. Because the more we planned, the better the party.

“You look really happy,” Lucia said as she walked past my desk to turn in her Algebra worksheet.

I glanced up from my worksheet and smiled. I’d decided to wear my denim skirt with magenta tights and a white cotton top. Lots of people had given me compliments. Even Coral Carter, who I wasn’t really interested in talking to and was actually trying to avoid. Beating people in a competition and then seeing them in class was awkward.

“Time to turn in your worksheets,” Ms. Fritz said as she erased the white board.

Ms. Fritz was such a down-to-earth teacher. She wore jeans and chewed gum and flat-ironed her curly blond hair.
I thought that style made her look a little bit like a model. I watched as she walked down the rows collecting the last of our worksheets. When she got to my desk, she smiled and paused.

“Have I mentioned yet how impressed I am that you’re our class captain?” she said. “I bet you’ll bring inspiring ideas to our next pizza meeting.”

It blew my mind that I was going to eat pizza with my teachers and possibly bring inspiring ideas. I mean, today I wasn’t going to do that. Today was just a meeting of the class captains for orientation with our faculty mentor. And our group photo. But when it came time for our first pizza meeting, I was going to be beyond ready.

As soon as Ms. Fritz reached the back of the room, a note landed on my desk. I caught a glimpse of Todd’s hand pulling away. I loved his notes. I had saved all twenty-seven of them all in a special compartment in my desk.

What? I turned around in my seat and looked at him. My mom was at school? I mouthed the word,
Where?
Todd made a scribble motion with his hand. He wanted me to write him back.

I released a fake sneeze and tossed the note onto his desk. He read it and wrote back in less than ten seconds.

Why would my mom be there? Maybe Todd was wrong. Maybe my mom looked like another person’s mom. That had to be what it was.

“Lane,” Ms. Fritz said, “We’re going to leave for the gym now. You should head off to your meeting.”

The fact that I got to ditch PE was pretty sweet. Because I wasn’t the kind of person who was born with a strong desire to run back and forth and do push-ups while wearing our official school colors: yellow and black. Ooh. Maybe that was something I could tackle as class captain. Maybe I could make PE less lame by letting us wear non-school colors.

As I left my classroom, I realized that I was a little stressed out. Various worries tumbled through my brain. Where would I stand in the group photo? Should I sit? Kneel? I really didn’t want to end up next to Derek. How did that guy even win? I thought the other winners would be like me. I guess Robin and Leslie looked beyond his plastic hair and saw something in Derek that I didn’t. Worry. Worry. Worry. I needed to learn the fifth grader’s name. But it wasn’t urgent. Because, really, why were fifth graders even in middle school? It was weird.

When I got to the meeting room, there was a big paper sign taped to the door that said
WELCOME, CLASS CAPTAINS
. I walked through the door and noticed an entire table set up with cookies and crackers and punch and churros.

“Grab whatever you want and take a seat,” Leslie said.

“Thanks.” I picked up a paper plate and loaded it with sweets.

“We’re all here now,” Robin said. “There is some paperwork involved with your captainship. Derek and Fiona are reading over the honor pledge. You have to agree to follow the six tenets of honor and sign it.”

“Okay,” I said. I didn’t have a problem agreeing to be honorable.

I took the honor pledge and my plate and sat down next to Derek, because that was the only empty seat at the table. I noticed Ava’s cello case leaning against the back wall. On days when she had practice after school, the principal had given her permission to store her cello in the meeting room. I was always impressed that Ava could carry her own cello. Housed in a canvas bag, that instrument was almost as tall as she was.

HONOR PLEDGE

That sounded reasonable. I signed it as quickly as I could and handed it to Leslie so I could start eating my cookies.

“Perfect,” she said as she placed it in my folder, and blinked her bright eyes at me. She applied her lavender shadow in such a way that her eyes looked surprised and happy all the time. I wondered if she’d show me how to do that.

“Lane,” Robin said, frowning at me from across the table. “Do you have to leave early?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“I was just wondering, because I saw your mom in the office,” Robin said. Then she took a big bite of her churro.

Why did people think my mom was in the office? Whose mom looked like my mom?

“Before the photo, I have an awesome announcement,” Leslie said, leaning forward in her chair. “Ms. Knapp has agreed to be our faculty mentor again.”

“That’s great,” Derek said. “She’s so laid-back.”

“Exactly,” Robin said. “She agrees to everything.”

“So let’s start by reiterating our theme,” Leslie said. She hopped out of her chair and raced to the white board. She wrote the word
disco
in big loopy letters.

“And let’s also reiterate our class-captain nondisclosure policy,” Robin said, joining her at the board. “Don’t tell a freaking soul.”

“When do we announce?” Derek asked.

“Next month,” Robin said. “We’ll need to make posters for the big reveal and put them up all over school.”

“How many posters?” asked the fifth grader.

“A million,” Robin said. “We’ll blanket this place.” Then she burst out laughing.

It was obvious that she loved being a captain.

“We should also mention our budget.” Leslie said. “Before we announce, we’ll want to price fog machines, disco balls, and DJs.”

“Our budget is tiny this year,” Robin said with a sour face. “But we consider these items essential for executing a successful disco party. It’s gonna reek of ambiance.”

“And we might be able to purchase a used fog machine. And that could be cheaper than renting one for all three parties,” Derek said.

Robin didn’t look thrilled. “We don’t want to buy heavy equipment. Renting is easier.”

I liked how she put Derek right in his place. Why did he think we needed to
buy
a fog machine?

“Any other suggestions?” Robin asked.

I couldn’t think of one. And apparently neither could anyone else.

“Let’s move on to the photo,” Leslie said. “I brought lipstick in case you need to borrow some. You should always wear more makeup for photos than you wear in regular life.”

“The flash dims your natural coloring, Fiona,” Robin said, handing a colorful tube to the fifth grader.

“Definitely not my color,” Derek said, passing the tube to me.

“You are so witty,” Leslie said, blinking several times at Derek.

No way. Was Leslie flirting with Derek? Did Leslie
like
Derek? Was that why he won? It really wasn’t fair that I
couldn’t share this information with my friends. Because Ava loved a good crush story. Derek set the tube down in front of me but I didn’t pick it up. Wouldn’t that makeup have other people’s lip germs on it? Wasn’t that how you spread mono?

“Let’s get going,” Leslie said. “Photos take place out front next to the cholla cactus garden.”

“I hope I don’t get pricked,” Derek said.

Leslie laughed like Derek was the funniest guy she’d ever encountered in a meeting room. It was nuts.

I left the germy lipstick on the table and followed everybody into the hallway. And that was when I saw her. My mom.

At first she tried to pretend she hadn’t seen me. She lifted a folder up, blocking her face from my view. But I’d already seen her, so that didn’t work.

“Let’s follow our photographer,” Robin said, pointing to a guy with a white goatee wearing a cowboy hat.

That guy was standing almost next to my mom. My surprise quickly turned to panic when I realized that the only reason my mother would be at my school was if something was terribly wrong. So I forgot about following the goatee guy and I raced up to her.

“What’s happened?” I asked. My mind spun and spun. Oh no! There had to have been a terrible tragedy. Was it a death in the family? All four of my grandparents were no longer alive. So it wasn’t about them. I gasped. “What happened to Dad?”

My mother could see that I was beyond alarmed, so she pulled me to her side. “Everything is fine.”

“But why are you here?” I asked. Moms didn’t just show up to school when everything was fine.

“Congratulations!” the secretary said as she passed me. “It’s always wonderful when family moves to town.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. “Mom?” I said.

“Lane,” Robin called. “We need to line up for the photo.”

“I’m coming,” I said. But I wasn’t going to come until my mother told me what was going on. The only relatives I had lived in Alaska. Aunt Betina and her daughter, Angelina. Her father, Uncle Dave, had divorced Aunt Betina several years ago and was working in Toronto. My dad called him a deadbeat.

“Your cousin, Angelina, is coming to town,” said my mother very cautiously.

“Really?” I said. “I thought Aunt Betina loved Alaska. I never thought she’d move.”

“Lane!” Robin called.

“Aunt Betina isn’t moving,” my mom said very quietly.

That didn’t really make any sense. How could Angelina move and not Aunt Betina?

And then my mother did something surprising. She called out to Robin. “Lane will be there in a minute. I need her help in the bathroom.”

Why would my mother yell anything about a bathroom
while inside my school? I wanted to die. Instead of dying, I hurried behind her to figure out what was going on.

“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you,” my mother said, standing beside the paper-towel dispenser.

“Tell me what?” I said kind of rudely. “I can’t be late for the photo.”

“Listen, I want you to know that sometimes in life you find yourself doing something that lacks honesty,” she said. “And you do this thing not because you want to be dishonest, but because there is no other way.”

“I don’t understand what you’re telling me,” I said.

“I’ll give you the truncated version,” she said. “Aunt Betina finally decided to marry Clark. And they’ve decided to honeymoon for a month. Her child care fell through. Angelina is coming to live with us.”

Honeymoon for a month? Child care fell through? What kind of terrible mother was Aunt Betina?

“Stop making that face,” my mother said. “This will be a once-in-a-lifetime chance for you and your cousin to bond. It will be good for everyone.”

“Uh, I don’t know about that, Mom,” I said. We didn’t have a spare bedroom, so I tried to imagine where Angelina would sleep.
My room?
There was only one sixth-grade class at my school, so that meant she’d be in
my class
. Would she eat lunch with me too? Would she expect to hang out with all my friends? For how long?

“I was hoping for a more positive reaction,” my mom said.

“How long will she stay?” I asked.

“A month,” my mom explained. “I told you her child care fell through.”

“A month!” I stared at my mom like she was crazy.

“It’s the perfect amount of time for two people to bond.”

I’d only met my cousin a couple of times at family reunions, and we hadn’t really
bonded
during those times. I tried to remember what she looked like and how she behaved, but I couldn’t.

“The school district wouldn’t allow a visitor to come for a month. So I had to change Angelina’s permanent address to ours. That’s why I’m here.”

“Really?” I asked. That seemed illegal. “When is she coming?”

“Friday,” my mother said.

“Friday!” I yelled. That was way sooner than I expected.

The bathroom door creaked open. It was Robin. “Hey, I’m sorry, but we really need Lane out front. We’re paying the photographer by the hour. Plus, he needs to get to a dog show.”

“Okay,” I said.

I turned to leave, but my mother put her hand on my shoulder and stopped me.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t tell anybody about this,” she said. “We’re fudging the rules a little bit.”

I flipped back around so quickly that I banged into my mother’s bulging purse. “I just signed an honor pledge five minutes ago.”

She took a deep breath and rubbed my back. “I don’t
want you to lie. Just don’t discuss our situation with anyone.”

First I couldn’t discuss anything related to being class captain or having a disco theme. Now I couldn’t discuss anything about my inbound Alaskan cousin. I felt a little bit burdened by all this secrecy.