Authors: Davie Henderson
I nodded. “It's not impossible that Tim McCann injected the syringe with his right hand, but it's unlikely. Add the fact he'd never used drugs of any kind before, and the case doesn't look quite so open and shut as it did when we first walked into his apartment, does it?”
Paula sighed.
“You sound like you need a break,” I said helpfully. “A day off. A change of scenery.”
“Travis, we had a deal.”
“And I intend holding you to it,” I told her. Glancing at my i-band I saw it was almost lunchtime, so I headed for my flat to dig out my copy of
Niagara.
That nightâwhile, if all was going according to plan, Paula was watching the movie and being blown away by a backdrop so stunning it upstaged even Marilyn MonroeâI settled back to read the Olden Days diary I'd found in Tim McCann's apartment. The first few pages painted a vivid picture of the diarist, and it wasn't an attractive one. He was a taxi driver put out of business by the rising cost of petrol, and he basically wanted to rant about the influx of southerners who'd come up to Scotland in the wake of the London Floods. He didn't have much else to say once he'd made his point about how much harder it was to get work because they were taking all the jobs. Another three paragraphs, to be precise; his diary ended halfway down Page 6.
I didn't bother reading those last three paragraphs, because what was on Page 7 looked much more interesting. The printed day and date had been scored out. In block capitals, written in pencil, were the words,
THE PET SHOP.
The handwriting under those words was completely different from the diary entries. It was smaller, more disciplined, and ran across the printed date dividers. And it was in fresh pencil, rather than faded ink. I quickly saw that the content was as different as the appearance.
It was a novel. Tim McCann's latest work, no doubt. Within a few pages he'd drawn me into a world of the future, just as the travel articles of Calum Tait drew me into the past. While the world Calum described was one I lamented the loss of with my heart and soul, tomorrow's world was one I quickly came to fear.
Cities were completely enclosed in domes. The fertility of people living in these sanitized biospheres was beginning to recover, but the outside world was still a toxic, sterile place. As a result, resources were even more limited than at present, creating a problem the governing computer solved in a logical but chilling way. It was assumed everyone would live for eighty years, so a couple were expected to use 160 years of consumables. If they had a child, the total resources allocated to the three of them stayed at 160 years. In short, any parents who wanted their child to live a full life had to agree to end their own existence prematurely. This created heartbreaking acts of self-sacrifice, not only involving parents never living long enough to see their children grow up, but a husband ending his own life to give his wife longer to live, or vice-versa.
There were no such dilemmas for Numbers in this world. They felt no urge to have children of their own, and were content to do the logical thing and let genetic engineering maintain the balance between population and resources.
As if the scenes Tim McCann described at The Passing Placeâwhere parents went to be put downâweren't bad enough, there was another harrowing twist. The idea was that you could transfer your credits to a dependent and declare yourself in Valid but, rather than going to The Passing Place, you could go to what was known as a Pet Shop. You were literally putting yourself in the shop window, and anyone with enough credit to spare could buy you and take you home and feed you, in return for your undying gratitude and obedience. Such shops met the need for pets in a world without animals, and status symbols in a world with few material possessions.
McCann's novel told of children entering one such shop with morsels to feed âpets' they couldn't afford to take home; and of a pet rescue circle comprising Names who'd banded together to buy a âpet' which they'd take turns sharing their food rations with. The scene where they had to choose which person to save from The Passing Place was a truly distressing one.
The final passage Tim McCann had written was equally disturbing, but in a very different way. It started with a group of Numbers entering the shop and saying they wanted to buy some pets to act as their dancing tutors. It was quite plausible, since most Numbers have a limited repertoire of dance moves and execute them in a mechanical fashion. Anyway, they'd asked the inValids to go through everything from hip-hop to waltzes with imaginary partners.
Then, at the end of the pathetic little talent contest, the Numbers gave a collective sneer which made it clear they'd never had the slightest intention of taking an inValid home.
I was glad Tim McCann hadn't written any more. I couldn't imagine it was the sort of story that had a happy ending.
I switched out the light, trying to forget about
The Pet Shop,
and turned my thoughts to Paula.
In an ideal world I would have dreamed about Niagara Falls and Paula or Marilyn Monroe. Come to think of it, in an ideal world I would dream about Niagara Falls, Paula,
and
Marilyn Monroe. If I had to choose two out of the three, I'd have forgotten about the falls.
What I actually got was one and a half out of three: Niagara without the falls, but with Paula.
Oh, I also got Jenâand a guilty conscience for not having included her in my initial three wishes.
Unfortunately, I got something else as well. The Pet Shop.
How predictable was that?
The Pet Shop was located slap bang in the touristy heart of the town of Niagara Falls. And of course I was in one of the display cabinets, and Jen was in another one. Her hands were pressed to the glass and she was whispering something to me that could have been âI love you' or âHelp me.'
Behind her, in another cabinet, someone was waving to me. Their face was hidden because Jen was in the way. All I could see was the waving hand. It was Annie MacDougall's hand, shriveled up and growing almost right out of her shoulder.
A bell tinkled behind me. It was a small brass bell, over the door of the shop, and it announced the arrival of a Pareto.
He walked past me and stopped in front of the cabinet containing Jen. Annie MacDougall knocked on the glass with her withered hand to get his attention, but all she got was a sneer. The Pareto turned back to Jen and said something I couldn't make out. Then Jen was taking her clothes off and turning around slowly so the Pareto could inspect her. He nodded his approval to the shopkeeper, who I noticed for the first time.
It was Doug MacDougall.
In front of my eyes, Doug and the Pareto haggled over what Jen was worth, and finally Doug said, “I'll throw in the other one for nothing, a âbuy one, get one free'.”
My heart skipped a beat, thinking Doug was talking about me and I'd be joining Jen.
But after Doug unlocked Jen's cabinet he moved over to the glass case containing Annie.
I had both hands pressed to the glass of my case as Jen was led out of the shop. As she passed by she put one hand up to press against mine.
And then she was gone, and I knew I would never see her again.
As Annie MacDougall passed she tried to press her hand against the glass next to my palm, like Jen had done. But she couldn't reach, and in the end she just waved me goodbye with her withered, armless hand.
Annie left the little shop of horrors just as Perfect Paula came in.
My LogiPol partner got me to strip, which was a role reversal from my other kind of dreamsâthe daydreams, where you actually have some say in what's going on. Anyway, stripping for Paula was fine by me, although it would have been a whole lot better if she'd reciprocated and I hadn't been in a glass case.
What happened next wasn't so good, howeverâshe looked me over from head to foot, and a mocking sneer appeared on her face. I didn't have to be a psychotherapist to figure out her sneer had something to do with the inadequacy Names feel in the presence of Numbers.
As if that wasn't bad enough, after looking me over and mocking me Perfect Paula turned to Doug MacDougall, shook her head and left without a backward glance.
Doug came over and said, “Sorry, Ben. Better luck tomorrow.”
After switching off the lights Doug walked to the door, turning over a cardboard sign so the word CLOSED faced the outside world. He hesitated with his fingers on the door handle, as if he'd forgotten something, and came back to the counter. He brought out a bowl and shoved it through a slot near the foot of my display cabinet.
“Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite,” he said, and headed for the door. The brass bell tinkled, but I didn't see Doug MacDougall leave The Pet Shop because I was looking down at the bowl.
It was full of golden yellow moss.
“Y
OU OWE ME AN APOLOGY
,” I
TOLD
P
AULA AT THE
station house the next morning.
“Sorry.”
“That's not what you were supposed to say.”
“Okay, Travis, what was I supposed to say?”
“You were supposed to say, âwhat do I owe you an apology for'?”
Paula sighed, then said, “What do I owe you an apology for?”
“Making me take all my clothes off, sneering, then walking out the shop without buying me.”
“Sorry,” she said. “Happy now?”
“Don't be a spoilsport. You were supposed to ask what H on earth I'm talking about.”
“I don't think I want to know.”
I told her anyway.
“You're making me glad I can't dream,” she said. But we both knew that wasn't true.
“Last night was enough to make me wish I couldn't dream, either,” I told her.
“I watched the movie,” she said. Her abrupt change of subject caught me by surprise. It shouldn't, because it's a Number trait I should be used to by now. Whereas we say something like âby the way' to warn whoever we're talking to that we're about to change tack, Numbers don't observe such linguistic niceties. I suppose it's because their brains work faster than ours and they don't need any warning of a change of subject to make sense of what follows. Sometimes I think they do it on purpose to throw us and make us look stupidâlike I must have looked as I tried to follow Paula's conversational shift.
Then it dawned on me. She was talking about
Niagara.
Trying to sound casual, but not quite pulling it off, I said, “And?”
“It looks like an amazing place.”
“You'll come then?”
“I'd like to, but it probably wouldn'tâ”
I didn't let her get any further. I hate the word âprobably.'
They
use it all the time, and it makes me think they're constantly weighing up all the possibilities to reach the most logical conclusion without the slightest emotional input in the decision-making process. If I had to pick one word that summed up the difference between
us
and
them,
it would be âprobably.' Notice I didn't say it would probably be âprobably.' “Paula,” I said, “forget what would âprobably' be for the best, and for once in your life do something spontaneous without analyzing the likely consequences. Listen to your heart and tell your head to shut up.”
“It's not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“You can't change who you are, what you are.”
“Can't you see that's exactly what you're trying to do? Part of you wants to go with me to Niagara Falls. I know that for sure, just as I know you can't ever be happy or fulfilled if you continually deny part of what you are.”
“What's wrong with that sentence is it went on eleven words too long.”
I counted back my words but ran out of memory before I ran out of fingers. The very fact Paula had been able to effortlessly count the words in real time should have made me want to give up on her. But, for all the differences between us, something drew me to her so powerfully that giving up wasn't an option. “Paula, you talk about not being able to change who you are, what you areâI think the problem is you're not sure of who and what you are. The community, where everything is geared to logic, doesn't let you express the part of yourself that's all about emotion.”
Paula still didn't look ready to say âyes' to the Niagara trip, but she wasn't saying âno,' so I said, “Look, I'm shallow enough to admit I'm hoping whatever it was that happened between us in Newport library will happen again at Niagara Falls. I'm hoping it'll happen more powerfully, too powerfully for you to deny. But, more than that, I'm hoping that going to Niagara will let you find yourself. I'm hoping its wild beauty will set your spirit free.” That hadn't occurred to me until I said itâmy motives had been of a more selfish and sordid natureâbut I didn't feel disingenuous once the words were spoken because I meant every one of them.