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Authors: Morris Gleitzman

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BOOK: Toad Away
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Aunty Pru frowned thoughtfully. “Funny you should ask,” she said. “I've just been thinking about that.”

She stared at the tarmac again.

For a long time.

“When I said she uses long words,” muttered Goliath, “I really meant long pauses.”

Finally Aunty Pru spoke again.“The thing about humans,” she said,“is they're complicated. Some creatures they like, some creatures they don't like. Dogs, for example, they like. And cats.”

“And birds,” said Charm.

“Some birds,” said Aunty Pru. She pointed to the tarmac at her feet.“This little bird they drove over and squashed. Come and look.”

Charm and Goliath started to hop toward her. Limpy grabbed them. He shook his head to remind them of the rule.

Never go onto a road unless you really have to.

He knew Aunty Pru would be reminding them of the rule if she wasn't having such deep thoughts.

“I don't think I'll ever understand humans,” Aunty Pru was saying as she stared down at the road.

Limpy heard a distant roar. He looked along the road. A truck was coming.

“Aunty Pru,” he said. “A truck's coming.”

She didn't seem to have heard him or the truck.

“Aunty Pru,” called Charm. “Truck approaching.”

Aunty Pru still wasn't looking up. She was just staring at the flat bird, lost in thought.

“Aunty Pru!” yelled Goliath. “Move your butt!”

Limpy glanced anxiously at the truck. He saw it was a supermarket truck and it was getting close.

“Aunty Pru!” he screamed. So did Charm.

Limpy hopped forward to grab Aunty Pru but it was already too late. The truck was too close. Charm started to move forward and Limpy grabbed her just in time.

The truck thundered past.

When the dust cleared, Limpy couldn't look.

He didn't have to.

“Aunty Pru,” wailed Charm, and collapsed into sobs.

So did Goliath.

Limpy and the others carried Aunty Pru home. They laid her gently down on the big leaves in the kitchen. The whole family gathered round her poor flat body.

Limpy's warts ached with sadness.

He was sad for Charm too. He'd never seen her so upset. He watched her stroke the tire tracks on Aunty Pru's face and kidneys and saw she was wearing the necklace Aunty Pru had given her, the one woven from spiderwebs with dried mouse eyes threaded on it.

“Aunty Pru was so clever and wise,” sobbed Charm.“How could she have let a human drive over her?”

Mum and Dad came over and stroked Charm's warts.

“If I told Pru once I told her a million times,” said Dad quietly. “Have as many big philosophical thoughts as you like, I told her, but when you're on the highway, don't eat with your eyes closed.”

“Poor old Pru,” said Mum. “I'll miss her, and that's saying something, because I've still got several hundred sisters left.”

Goliath gave a loud sniff. “We could have saved her,” he mumbled miserably. “We could have bashed that truck with big sticks and made it swerve off the highway and explode before it reached Aunty Pru.”

Limpy nodded. He didn't agree with the exploding truck stuff, but he agreed with Goliath's basic point.

They could have saved Aunty Pru.

If we'd managed to make friends with humans, thought Limpy, Aunty Pru needn't have died. If the
truck driver had been our friend, he wouldn't have swerved at the last second and purposely flattened her.

Thinking about it made Limpy's head hurt, so he concentrated on trying to make Charm feel better.

He gave his sister a hug, careful not to squash Aunty Pru's necklace.

“Aunty Pru was very special,” said Limpy. “She deserves to be laid to rest in a very special place. At the top of the pile.”

“You'll be lucky,” said Mum. “You'd need a crowbar to get another dead relative into that room of yours.”

“Thanks, Limpy,” said Charm in a trembling voice.“But if it's OK, I'd like Aunty Pru in my room.”

“Oh, no,” sighed Mum to Dad. “Now she's starting.”

Charm gazed at Aunty Pru again.

“She taught me so many wonderful things,” said Charm. “She taught me about the stars and the seasons and nature and everything.”

“And humans,” said Goliath. “She taught me not to try and eat them.”

“And she taught us something else,” said Limpy.“She taught us never to give up, even when a problem seems so huge you just want to crawl into the swamp and put your head under the mud.”

“I always want to do that,” said Goliath.

“If Aunty Pru was still alive,” said Limpy, “she wouldn't want us to stop trying to be friends with humans.”

“Or trying to kill them,” said Goliath.

Limpy realized Charm was staring at him, her eyes gleaming brighter than the mouse eyes on her necklace.

“You're right, Limpy,” said Charm. “Aunty Pru was the wisest aunty in the whole swamp. In fact, I reckon she was the wisest aunty in the whole world, with the possible exception of some of our rellies in the Amazon. They must be very wise if they've survived there since time began.”

Limpy stared back at Charm.

What he'd said in the human flower bed was right.

Charm was a genius.

Here she was, pale with shock and grief, and she'd still managed to give him the idea that was going to save them all.

“E
xcuse me,” said Limpy to the birds pecking in the mud at the far end of the swamp.“Are you migratory?”

The largest bird stared at Limpy.

“Who wants to know?” it said.

Limpy tried not to look desperate. It wasn't easy. He'd been searching everywhere for the birds Charm had told him about in the supermarket. The ones from a long way away who migrated to the swamp each year. So far he hadn't been able to find a single one.

“Me,” said Limpy. “I want to know.”

He tried to keep his throat sac tucked neatly under his chin so he'd look polite and well brought up. Mum always reckoned a floppy throat sac looked awful. Worse than flies with their flies undone.

The bird didn't say anything.

Limpy pressed on. “I'm trying to find someone
who's been to the Amazon,” he said. “Have you been to the Amazon?”

“Might have,” said the bird.

Limpy looked at the other birds. They were all staring at him expressionlessly too.

“When you fly back to wherever you come from,” said Limpy as slowly and clearly as he could, “do you go to or near the Amazon?”

“Might do,” said the bird.

Suddenly Limpy couldn't stand it any longer.

“Stack me!” he exploded. “This is ridiculous. I give up.”

He turned to go. The birds all burst out laughing.

“Don't mind him,” said another bird to Limpy.“He's just tugging your tail feathers.”

Limpy stared at them, wondering if it was true that birds’ brains were smaller than their beaks.

“Sorry,” chuckled the first bird, wiping his eyes with a wing. “It's my wicked sense of humor. Only thing that gets me through those long boring flights. Yes, we have been to the Amazon. Top place. We always drop in there for lunch when we're passing.”

Limpy felt like doing cartwheels around the swamp. He controlled himself, except for his mucus, which wobbled with excitement.

“Are you going near the Amazon any time in the near future?” he asked.

“Might be,” said the bird.

The other birds all tried to stifle their laughter. One of them swiped the first bird round the head.

“Who wants to know?” chuckled the first bird.

Limpy struggled to stay calm. This was too important to lose your temper over and try to eat birds that were much too big to fit into your mouth.

“Come with me,” said Limpy. “There's something I want to show you.”

Limpy's room wasn't very big and it was a squash fitting all the birds in, but Limpy managed.

The birds kept on with their jokes, right up until they saw the piles of flat dead rellies.

Then they went very quiet.

“These are uncles,” said Limpy, pointing to a stack in the corner. “And these are aunties, and these are cousins.”

One of the birds had been leaning its wing on the cousin stack. It hopped away, looking embarrassed.

“You poor bloke,” said the bird. “We have casualties, but nothing like this. This is like a war.”

Limpy was glad Goliath wasn't around to hear this. It was the day each month that Mum and Dad took Goliath to the waterfall to flush his insides out.

“Have you ever seen anything like this in the Amazon?” Limpy asked the birds.

He half-expected them to say “who wants to know” but they didn't.

“No,” they said quietly. “We haven't.”

“So humans in the Amazon don't kill cane toads,” said Limpy.

“Don't think so,” said the birds. “We've never seen any sign of it.”

It was exactly what Limpy was hoping they'd say.

“I need to go to the Amazon really urgently,” he said. “My ancestors have been living there since time began, and I need to visit them to learn the ancient secret of how to live in peace with humans.” He took a deep breath. “Any chance of a lift, please?”

The biggest bird's beak fell open.

He stared at Limpy.

“You're asking me,” he said, “to carry you halfway round the world, across plains and mountains and cities and oceans, risking wing strain and leg rupture and claw cramp, just so a bunch of your family and friends won't get squashed by humans?”

“Yes,” said Limpy.

The bird stared silently at the piles of rellies.

“OK,” said the bird. “We're leaving first thing tomorrow.”

After Limpy finished thanking the birds, and they left, he started packing for the trip.

His one worry now was how to tell Mum and Dad.

He was pretty sure the journey to the Amazon would be long and dangerous. What if Mum and Dad got upset and tried to stop him from going? Or, even worse, wanted to come themselves? Crossing plains and mountains and cities and oceans was much too risky for a couple their age.

But he had to let them know he was going so they wouldn't think he'd just disappeared or been arrested by an angry supermarket company.

Suddenly he knew what to do. Once he was airborne, and it was too late for anyone to stop him from going, he'd get his bird to swoop low over the swamp so he could tell Mum and Dad he'd be away for a while, but not to worry, he'd be fine and so would they, with Charm and Goliath to look after them.

He felt better now that he'd decided that.

Then Charm hopped into his room and he didn't feel better anymore.

“Have you had birds in here?” said Charm.

Limpy could see she'd spotted some feathers on the floor.

“No,” said Limpy. “They're just left over from an old lunch of Goliath's.”

He felt awful, lying to Charm. His insides felt yucky, like the time he ate the car-deodorant block Goliath gave him for his birthday.

Charm's face fell, and Limpy could see she knew he was lying.

He couldn't bear it.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I have had birds in here. They're going to take me to the Amazon so I can find out how our rellies there live in peace with humans. I didn't want you to know in case you wanted to come. I don't want you to come because it'll be too dangerous and I don't want anything to happen to you.”

Limpy hoped Charm wouldn't be angry.

She didn't seem to be. She was gazing at Limpy, mouth trembling. She put her arms around him.

“I love you, Limpy,” said Charm. “And I'm really glad you're my brother.”

“I love you too,” said Limpy.

They hugged each other for a long time.

“There's something I haven't had a chance to tell you,” said Charm. “You were really brave, the way you saved Goliath from that supermarket freezer. And the way you saved that human girl from that drink. And it wasn't your fault we couldn't save Aunty Pru.”

“Thanks,” whispered Limpy.

I'll miss you, Charm, he thought sadly, trying to stop his glands from trembling too much.

Suddenly he was hoping the journey to the Amazon wouldn't be too long and dangerous.

“G
oliath,” whispered Limpy. “Wake up.”

Goliath moaned and tried to wriggle deeper into the mud puddle he was sleeping in. He opened an eye, then closed it.

BOOK: Toad Away
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