To Tame a Renegade (41 page)

“I thought Chad looked a mite green around the gills when I passed him in the hallway just now. You can always make things right.”

“I might have gone too far this time,” Sarah said on a sad little sigh. “I owe Chad so much.”

“He don’t want your gratitude. I can’t tell you what to do, Miz Sarah, but I sure would hate to see Chad lose all the ground he’s gained since he returned to Dry Gulch.”

“Thanks, Cookie,” Sarah said as she scraped her chair back and rose. “I’m going to try to undo the harm I’ve done. I hope it’s not too late.”

Sarah remained thoughtful as she climbed the stairs to her room. She undressed by lamplight, donned a nightgown, shoved her bare feet into slippers, and sat down in the windowseat to contemplate her next move. She’d acted hatefully toward a man to whom she owed her very existence. She’d flung words at him she regretted and didn’t know how to make amends. Chad deserved her gratitude, not the sharp edge of her tongue. She wouldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing more to do with her.

This tension between them couldn’t go on, Sarah decided as she opened her door and stepped into the hallway. Their problems would only grow worse with each passing day, widening the gap between them until it was too large to mend. She searched her heart and discovered that her love for Chad was secure, that it had never really been in jeopardy. She prayed they still had a future together, and hoped her careless words hadn’t destroyed Chad’s love for her.

Chad lay in bed, arms folded behind his head, recalling every word Sarah had spoken in anger. Sarah didn’t want their child. She hated him. She had flung those words at him too many times for him to disbelieve them. He’d been crazy to think his life had changed for the better, that he’d found a woman he could trust… one he could love, one who’d love him in return.

Of one thing Chad was certain. Sarah wasn’t going to take his baby with her if she left. No child of his was going to be called a bastard. He’d force her to marry him for the child’s sake. Then, if she wanted to leave without her child, he wouldn’t stop her.

Chad’s ruminations were so distracting he didn’t hear the metallic click as the door opened and closed, or the soft footsteps approaching. He sensed Sarah’s presence before he heard or saw her. His head turned toward the door, peering through the darkness to find her.

Sarah stepped into the pool of moonlight spilling through the window. “Are you awake?”

Chad sat up, his gaze riveted on the slender figure poised in a beam of golden moonlight. “What are you doing here?”

“I… I want to talk.”

“I’m listening.”

“You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you? About tonight…” She shivered and hugged her arms across her breasts. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

Exasperated, Chad heaved a sigh and held up a corner of the blanket.“You’d better get under the covers if you intend to make this a lengthy visit.”

He moved over and she slid beneath the blanket, pulling it to her chin. “I’m still listening,” Chad said coolly. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? If you’re going to tell me you hate me, don’t bother. I’ve heard it countless times in the past few days.”

“I’ve been a fool.”

Chad’s eyebrows spiked upward. “Like hell! I thought I was the fool.”

“Maybe we’ve both been a little foolish. You’ve been my salvation and my rock. I don’t know what would have become of Abner and me if you hadn’t walked into our lives.”

Chad snorted in derision. “You wouldn’t have an unwanted baby in your belly if I hadn’t walked into your life.”

Sarah found his hand and placed it over her stomach. It was still so flat he found it difficult to believe a new life was growing inside her.

“We made this baby together, Chad. I don’t regret it. I believe it was conceived that day we made love in Cora Lee’s bed. The day you banished your demons for good.”

Chad reached over to the nightstand and struck a match to the kerosene lamp. Light flared, and he searched her face in the revealing glow. “What is it you’re trying to tell me, Sarah?”

“I love you, Chad. Nothing will ever change that. I tried to hate you, but when I searched my heart I found nothing but love for the caring, compassionate man that you are. I don’t want you to go back into your shell because of words spoken in anger.” She touched his face in a gentle caress. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and Abner. I’d be a fool to leave you.”

“I wasn’t going to let you leave me,” Chad confessed. “No matter how much you professed to hate me. You’re carrying my baby. Even if you couldn’t love it, I was prepared to love it enough for both of us.

“I don’t regret taking you away from Cunning Wolf’s camp. You could have caught smallpox and died.” That horrifying thought made him shudder. “I could have lost you.”

“You’re never going to lose me. You promised Abner a complete family. I can’t wait to see him. Do you think the doctor will allow me inside his room now that he’s nearly recovered?”

“I’m certain he will. I’m sorry for the anguish I caused you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, not after the way you took care of Abner in the sickroom. I couldn’t have done better.”

A heady sigh rushed past Chad’s lips. “I was so afraid you’d leave me, sweetheart. I feared I’d never hold you in my arms again, or make love to you.”

Chad’s arms came around her, cuddling her against his chest, reveling in the sweet warmth of her pliant body. He groaned as she moved sinuously against him, molding them together, breast to breast, thigh to thigh. Shifting to make a space between them, he trailed his fingertips across her stomach, moving lower, delving into the fine curling hairs between her legs. He traced the outer edge of the triangle, then slid into the moist folds of her female flesh.

“Oh Chad, yes,” Sarah said on a sigh. “Love me. Please love me.”

“Let’s get rid of this first.” Deftly, he pulled off her nightgown and tossed it aside. Then he simply stared at her, his heated gaze slowly traveling the length of her body. He rubbed his knuckles against her tender nipples, then he began to knead her breasts, pulling and lifting them to his hungry mouth.

Sarah whimpered in delight as he drew a nipple between his lips and suckled her. She touched a kiss to his chest, then slid her hand down to stroke his hardening manhood. He retaliated by caressing the aching flesh of her ribs, belly, hips, and thighs. He stroked every inch of her he could reach as she pleasured him with her hands. Her titillating rhythm kept him on the sharp edge of passion as he panted and groaned in an effort to control the savage instinct to spew forth his seed.

His eyes reflected his erotic agony as he lifted his head from her breasts and fastened his mouth on hers, his tongue delving deeply into her sweet warmth. He shifted between her legs and her thighs opened wide in loving welcome. He could feel the throbbing of her body as he probed against her wet entrance. Then he drove inside, jerking her hips against him. He nearly lost it as she arched up sharply, drawing him deeper into her hot center. Buffeted by elemental emotions ripping through him, his movements grew fierce, uncontrolled. Then she cried out, clenching him as if trying to absorb all of him into her body.

The wildness of her response, the bold thrust of her loins against his, were almost more than Chad could bear. His hands tightened fiercely around her hips as he plunged in and out, the violent friction of their joining sending him toward mindless oblivion. He was painfully swollen, ready to burst, and he hung on through sheer dint of will.

Sarah was nearly insensate with pleasure. Her body thrummed, her heart pounded, and her skin burned. Her blood thickened and pooled in the place where they were joined. The violent roar of pleasure reverberated like thunder in her ears. Then she was soaring upward, reaching blindly for the most incredible rapture she’d ever experienced. When she reached that lofty paradise, she hung on for dear life and waited for Chad to join her.

“I’m coming!” he cried as he raced to catch up. He held her tightly as his own release tore through his body.

They rested briefly. The next time they loved, Sarah was the aggressor. She kissed him all over, teasing him unmercifully, her hands, lips, and mouth moving over him in loving exploration. When she closed her lips over the rounded tip of his staff, he arched up violently, nearly toppling her off the bed. With a fierce growl, he carefully removed her and settled her atop him. She opened her thighs and he slid inside. Once again they found that place where only lovers dared to venture.

Chad awoke with a smile on his face and was smiling as he quietly dressed and went downstairs to join Ryan and Cookie in the kitchen the next morning. Cookie poured him a cup of coffee. Chad sipped the scalding brew, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

“You seem in good spirits this morning,” Ryan remarked. “Did you and Sarah make up?”

“You could say that. How was Abner’s night?”

“The boy is well enough to leave his bed,” Ryan said. “He’s asking for his mother. I came down to get his breakfast. He’s suddenly found his appetite.”

“Doc Adams will be here today. He’ll probably give Abner a clean bill of health and free rein to do as he pleases within reason. Sarah is anxious to see him and I can’t blame her.”

“When is the weddin’?” Cookie asked out of the blue.

“As soon as Abner is well enough to attend. I’d like Pierce and Zoey to be there too, if it’s at all possible.”

“You might have to wait till spring if you want Pierce to come,” Ryan said. “Winter’s not over by a long shot. There’s more to come.”

Chad frowned. “If the weather won’t cooperate, I reckon we’ll do it without Pierce. I don’t want to wait till spring.”

Ryan shook his head in mock disgust.
“1
never thought you’d marry, Chad. Pierce’s marriage came as a surprise but yours is a shock, considering your aversion to the state of wedlock. No woman is going to hogtie me,” he vowed. “I can get all the loving I want from a woman without putting a ring on her finger.”

Chad tried to hide his amusement. Ryan had no idea what love did to a man. “When you fall, brother, you’re going to fall hard. Mark my words. I pity the woman who sets her sights on Rogue Ryan.”

“So do I,” Ryan smirked. “It’s not going to do her a damn bit of good. I’m not as gullible as you or Pierce, though 1’ll be the first to admit you’ve both found good women. Probably the only two left in the world.”

“Say, ain’t that Doc’s buggy comin’ down the lane?” Cookie said, glancing out the window.

“He’s makin’ his rounds early today.”

Doc Adams entered the house in a blast of frigid air. “It’s damn cold outside,” he said as he shed his coat. “How’s my patient today?”

“Hungry as a bear and eager to leave his bed,” Chad said. “And he wants to see his mother. I can’t hold Sarah off much longer.”

Doc chuckled. “Thought that might be the case. Well, let’s have a look at him.”

Sarah awoke to the sound of voices in the hallway. She cracked open her bedroom door and saw Doc Adams and Chad entering Abner’s room. She washed and dressed and left Chad’s room in a rush. Skidding to a halt at Abner’s door, she was somewhat reluctant to enter without an invitation. She was more than a little surprised to see the way opened to her.

Abner saw her standing in the doorway and his face lit up. He called out to her. The sound of his voice released her feet and she flew across the room, scooping him up into her arms and hugging him fiercely.

“Too tight, Mama,” Abner said when her hugs became too exuberant. “I’m not sick anymore. Doctor Adams said I’m not ‘tagious, either.”

Sarah searched Abner’s face. A few scabs remained where the pustules had been, and he appeared to have lost some weight, but otherwise he looked wonderful. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Doc Adams stepped forward, smiling at the poignant sight of mother and son reunited. “Abner is no longer contagious,” he said. “The lad can leave his bed, but I suggest he take it easy for awhile. Feed him whatever appeals to him.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Sarah said tearfully.

“Thank Chad, here, he’s the one who nursed the boy through the rough parts.”

Chad gave her a cheeky grin. “She already did thank me. I hope you won’t mind taking a look at Sarah before you leave, Doc. I want to make sure everything is all right with the baby.”

“I’d be happy to. Show me your room, Sarah, we’ll conduct the examination there.” He turned to Chad. “You
will
invite me to the wedding, won’t you?”

“You can count on it. I was just waiting for Abner to recover to fetch the preacher out here.”

“You’re gonna be my papa,” Abner said proudly.

“You bet, son. I meant it when I said we’d be a family.”