To Russia With Love (Countermeasure Series) (55 page)

Cassandra’s heart infused with hope and a half smile quirked her lips.
Waldo.
She wished she had more resources in Russia that could help with locating Trevor. Powerful resources.

Boris!
Why didn’t I think of him sooner?
Cassandra’s thought slapped her up the head. Armed with the information George had passed on, she was more confident of his help. Pulling her cell from her pocket, she made the call. Each unanswered ring was like a death knell. On the fifth ring, the line connected with a click and then silence. She asked tentatively, “Boris? Is that you?”

“Where are you?” Boris’s voice boomed over the connection. “I have been looking for you. I went by your apartment. It was empty. Are you okay? Is Trevor with you?” His familiar voice was strained and filled with worry.

“I’m safe for now. I’m not sure about Trevor; we lost contact after he escaped the mansion. I thought you would know!” Anger coated her voice. Anger at Boris for dragging them into a bigger mess then it should have been. “You and I need to talk. You have some explaining to do.”

“Where are you? I will come to you.”

Curve Ball

J
ESSICA KNEW CASSANDRA WAS RIGHT. She needed to tell Stephan. The rules of engagement had been broken and warped to no end by that little twist of fate. Whatever his reason for drawing a line between them, it had been overridden by the shared responsibility over the indelible connection growing inside her.

Stephan’s baby. She had warred over the responsibilities a child brought to the surface. Would she be a good mother? Was she ready to take on such a huge task, a career all on its own? Her initial fear and concern had morphed into exhilaration and joy. Once she was able to see the bright side of the curve ball thrown at her, she wanted that baby more than anything in the world.

Her only concern was Stephan’s reaction to it. Jessica knew he would be shocked. Her pregnancy dismantled his so carefully outlined plans. The “when I say it’s over, it’s over” rule had been crossed off the slate when they both had forgotten to use precautions that one night in his office. Yet, Jessica consoled herself that the impact of her pregnancy would be a positive one. She had observed him when they had been in public places. His eyes had lingered on babies and rounded pregnant bellies. Eyes filled with craving and longing—a longing he seemed to deny himself for some reason.

The emotional attachment they’d developed through the many weeks they had been intimate encouraged her to believe he would give them a new chance, remove all their boundaries and limits, and let their relationship run free, even bloom. Jessica wasn’t going to give him an ultimatum or impose fatherhood on him. She would give him a choice. Whether or not he wanted to be a part of their child’s life would be his decision to make. Her emotions fluttered from hope to downright fear at the prospect that he could reject them both.

Cassandra was thrilled with the prospect of being an honorary auntie. Their child would be, without a doubt, spoiled rotten. And if Stephan decided not to be a part of their lives, Jessica would console herself at knowing she would have a little part of him for herself forever.

It was late when Jessica parked in front of Stephan’s house. The lights shone through the windows on the main floor and, through the sheer curtains, she observed as a shadow moved in the sitting room by the front window. Once the decision to tell him solidified in her mind, she couldn’t wait a minute longer to follow up on it. The sooner she got it off of her chest, the sooner she would be able to focus on the things that mattered.

Taking a deep, ragged breath, Jessica made her way to the door with uncertain steps. She rang the bell and waited for what seemed like an eternity, switching her weight from one foot to the other. Her heart grew heavier with each second and her palms began to sweat. He was home. She knew it.
Is he avoiding me? Does he have company?
She grew lightheaded and disappointment formed a hard lump in her throat.
This is a bad idea.
She was about to turn away when the door opened.

For an instant, Stephan’s eyes glimmered with delight at seeing her standing at his door. The moment was short-lived, quickly replaced by the business mask he presented to clients and acquaintances. “Jessica. What brings you here?”

“Can I come in?” The fact that she had to ask caused a pang in her chest.

Stephan hesitated and then opened the door wider, gesturing for her to come inside. Instead of leading her into the living room where they had spent happier moments together, Stephan led her down the hall to his study. His actions spoke louder than words. She wasn’t welcome. He waited for her to sit before taking his chair on the other side of his imposing desk. Stephan looked at her over his clasped hands. “So…?”

Jessica tilted her chin up and held his gaze. “It’s my turn to say we need to talk.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

Her eyes wandered around the study and returned to his. “Would you prefer to go somewhere more public? Maybe the Brazen Head?”

“It depends on why you are here. Should I be concerned for my virtue?” The spark of humor in his voice gave her hope that not all had been lost.

“I can’t guarantee your virtue will be left intact. If I recall correctly, your office had a wild effect on my senses. Your study might just do the same.” She followed the direction of his gaze to the edge of the desk. Desire instantly flooded his eyes and she could tell he was recalling the event just as she was.

“Have you come here to tempt me into repeating it?”

Stephan’s teasing and the humorous glint in his eyes gave her hope that maybe he would be receptive to her news after all. “Possibly. It will depend on you.”

His expression changed abruptly, as if he was reminded of his own decision to avoid her. “You know it can’t happen, Jessica. It’s over.”

“Just hear me out. I have something important to tell you.”

He nodded. “I’m listening.”

She took a deep breath to compose herself. Her heart raced in her chest and her palms grew clammy. She was a hormonal mess. She couldn’t hold off any longer. It was now or never.

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes narrowed to thin slashes and his face turned to stone the second the words left her lips. Her heart sank to her feet and she closed her eyes in pain. She had expected him to be shocked, but she’d never anticipated the disgusted expression that covered his face.

She grew lightheaded again and her hands began to tremble. Clasping them tightly in her lap, she waited anxiously for something, anything, a word from him. After several moments of thick, heavy silence she blurted out, “Talk to me. Say something.”

Stephan’s stare was unwavering as he studied her. “To be honest, I’m at a loss for words. Stunned, really. I knew you had a tenacious streak, but I never thought you’d go this far.”

“What are you talking about? Don’t talk as if you don’t have as much responsibility in it as I do. We were both careless that night in your office.” Her tone was strong. Confident.

Stephan paused and a glint of something she couldn’t recognize crossed his eyes. “Why are you doing this? Are you looking to get even because I ended it before you were ready to?”

“Are you trying to say I planned for this to happen? To get pregnant with your child to get you back?”

Stephan scoffed sarcastically. “Un-fucking-believable. Who the hell are you? I have to say, you are a very good actress. You do sound so very sincere.”

“Stephan. I
am
pregnant. Only a couple of weeks along, but pregnant nonetheless. It didn’t happen by itself. It takes two to tango.”

She didn’t think his eyes could harden any more than they did. This time they glowed with rage. A rage she hadn’t expected or foreseen from him.

“Of all the things I imagined happening between us.” He paused, clenching his teeth as if to contain the anger burning in his eyes. His voice pitched low and was full of unadulterated pain. “Of all the things I thought you capable of to drive me mad. This was not one of them.”

“This?”

“I saw you. Jessica. I saw you the other night with
him
.”

“What are you talking about?” She became frantic, trying to comprehend what he was implying.

“I saw you walking into Trevor and Cassandra’s house with that young guy.”

“What young guy? Sean?” A deep frown creased her forehead. “He’s just a friend. What does he have to do with anything?”

“Does he know you are trying to pass his child off as mine?”

“His child? Sean’s?” Blood rose to her head, her cheeks heated and her pulse pounded in her ears. Anger reddened her vision. “Are you fucking insane? This is
your
baby!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jessica.”

“I never slept with Sean.”

“You certainly didn’t. I am sure you were wide awake making that child.” His tone was inflammatory.

“Why are you doing this? Hurting me this way?”

“How do you think I feel, knowing you were with someone else when you said you wanted me?”

Tears flowed down her cheeks and fell to her lap as she stared at him, trying to make sense of his words. “I don’t just want you. I
love
you.”

Stephan pinned her with tortuous eyes. “And this is how you show it? Passing off your boyfriend’s child as mine?”

“Whether you believe me or not, this is
your
son or daughter growing inside me. No one else’s.”

A glimmer of hope flashed in his eyes but vanished instantly. Stephan pulled a sharp intake of breath before his cold eyes settled on Jessica again, cutting her to the bone. “You see? I knew things would get complicated. I knew the day would come when you would want a child. You’re young. Your clock would start ticking and when I couldn’t give you what you wanted, needed, you’d leave.”

For weeks, she had wanted to know more about him and now he was giving her a glimpse into his core, into what made him who he was. She wanted to see it all now. The good and the bad. She held her breath, waiting for him to continue.

“I knew your youth would make things worse, but I just couldn’t help myself. I had to have you. Thought that maybe we could forget everything else but the feelings we draw from each other. What I feel for you is raw, all-consuming. Stupidly, I thought I could draw a line and obey it myself. We both ignored that line when it came down to it and I accept my part of the blame; but I never, in a million years, expected you to stoop so low. The idea that you were with someone else right after you left my bed is sickening. I never took you for a liar or a manipulative woman. But you are one.”

Anguish blasted her from every angle. She couldn’t understand what he meant. “Why can’t you just accept you’re going to be a father?”

“Because I
know
there’s no way this child can be mine.” His absolute belief in his pain-infused words gave her pause.

“But it
is
!”

“It
can’t
be.” He collapsed in his chair and his mouth formed a grim line. “I’m sterile.”

The air expunged from Jessica’s lungs and her heart missed a beat. Wide-eyed, she shook her head. “No way! Listen to me! You are
wrong
. If that’s the case, why did you use protection when you made love to me?”

“Force of habit. I’m a responsible adult. Birth control is not the only reason people wear condoms, Jessica.” Stephan rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger, then lowered his hand to the desk, clenching his fist.

Thoughts swirled in her head and she felt detached from reality for a second. Then it all came crashing down on her. Every time she saw his longing eyes trailing an infant, every time he covertly observed little ones at play, he wasn’t denying himself one; he thought he couldn’t have one for himself.
But he was wrong!

“Stephan,
listen
to me! I don’t care what you say. This
is
your child.”

“Stop the pretenses, Jessica. It can’t be true. There was a test done a long time ago.” The calmness with which he said the words brought chills to her spine. Stephan exhaled a deep breath and shook his head. “This is pointless.”

Jessica understood that nothing she could possibly say would get through to him at that time. She had to find a different way to reach him or simply give up. “Fine. You don’t seem to be open to the possibility that your test, whenever it was done, could be wrong. For the record, I’m keeping
our
child. If you’d like to be sure, you are welcome to request a paternity test once he or she is born. If not, it’s your loss. This would be your chance to have what you’ve craved for so long.”

“I never—”

“Oh, yeah you did.” Jessica rubbed her brow to hold back the headache that was creeping up on her. “Don’t lie to yourself. If and when you’re ready to accept the fact that maybe those tests were wrong, accept that I’m all you need in your life, you know where to find us. But don’t take too long, or I might be the one passing on the offer.”