To Rule in Amber (6 page)

Her head fell back and her eyes closed. She snored softly.

"Oh, no you don't!" I cried. I shook her until her eyes opened Wearily. "Stay awake!"

"Wha - why - ?" she murmured blearily.

"This Shadow is affecting you," I said. "Fight it. Talk to me, sing to me, curse at me - anything!

Just stay awake."

Her brow furrowed. "But I've been in a thousand Shadows before -"

"Not like these," I said. "Dad redrew the Pattern that's casting them. It's all different now, but subtly. Can't you feel it?"

"Different?" Her eyes widened. "How? Where is this Pattern?"

"Uh-uh." I shook my head, smiling. "It's best if you don't know. Safer for you, too. Uthor would kill to find out."

She sighed. "Everyone's already trying to kill me… what can one more secret hurt?"

"Not everyone."

"Need to sleep…" she whispered, head sagging toward her chest.

"No! No sleeping! On your feet!
Now
!"

I lifted her easily, and she slipped one arm around my waist for support. For a second she looked up at my face. Then, seemingly against her will, her eyes closed and her chin slowly lowered again.

"Blaise!" I shouted.

"I'm awake!"

Her eyes blinked fast several times, then closed. She couldn't help it, I knew.

No more fooling around - this time I slapped her as hard as I could, leaving a scarlet handprint across her left cheek.

Her eyes flew open. A wolfish snarl came over her usually smooth features, and she twisted away from me.

"How dare you!" she snapped. She punched my chest hard enough to stagger me back a foot.

Like everyone in my family, she had a temper to reckon with. And fists of steel.

I had the strangest feeling I might have gone too far. I had never seen her so furious. Still, it was too late to back down now, though not too late to apologize.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. I rubbed at my chest. "Keep in mind, though, that I was only trying to keep you awake and alive!"

"That's not good enough!
Never touch me
!"

She caught my hand. Her grip tightened painfully.

"That hurts!" I said, trying to keep my own temper. "Let go. We shouldn't be fighting among ourselves."

"I've killed men for less than that," she said. Her voice had a dangerous edge.

"I'm sure you have." I smiled my most charming smile, which had been known to melt the heart of the iciest widow back in Ilerium. "It was the only thing I could think of to wake you up. I won't do it again if you don't go to sleep, okay? It's important."

"Explain it to me." Yawning, she let go of my hand. At least she managed to keep her eyes open this time.

"The same thing happened to me in the Beyond - I slept for three whole days. Dad and Aber finally got me up and wouldn't let me go to sleep. Dad was afraid I might never wake if they left me alone. I don't want that to happen to you."

"Where is Dad? You said he was here."

"Down the mountain." I jerked my head toward him. "He's sick, too."

"Everyone in Chaos is looking for him. He has to go back. Is he asleep?"

"No, tied up."

"What!"

"It couldn't be helped." I shrugged. "He isn't well. Not sleepy, really, but… kind of crazy."

"Crazy?" She stared at me. "What do you mean? What's wrong with him? If you did something -"

"No, no, nothing like that." I hesitated. "Maybe you'd better see for yourself. I think it might have something to do with the Pattern. It's obviously affected you. Maybe it's affecting him, too."

"Show me."

I escorted her down the slope, one hand on her elbow to keep her steady. When we reached our father, she gave a mew of unhappiness and bent to untie him.

I held her back. "Don't. It isn't safe to let him go. He tried to kill me."

"He's hurt -"

"He'll live. I was just about to find him a doctor. I don't suppose you know anything about medicine… ?"

"A little." She knelt beside him, pressing one hand to his forehead. Then, with the hem of her gown, she wiped a line of drool from his chin.

"He's been badly beaten," she said. "Who attacked him? King Uthor's men?"

"I'm afraid it was me." It came out apologetic. "I didn't have a choice, though. He was trying to kill me."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Shrugging helplessly, I knelt beside her. "He was acting crazy. He attacked me with a sword when I turned my back, and if he had been a little stronger, he would have killed me. He's a better swordsman than I am."

Her eyes narrowed, studying my face intently. "What did you do to him? He never does anything without good reason. Did you say or do something to make him mad? Did you threaten him in some way?"

"No, I didn't do anything. I found him unconscious and was trying to help."

She touched the red handprint on her cheek. "Like you helped me?"

"No. I shook him, but…" I shrugged.

"Hmm." She fumbled with the bindings on his wrists. "Help me get these off. Maybe -"

"Don't do that!" I pulled her hands back. "I told you, he's dangerous. He fought like a demon.

Next time, he might get lucky and kill me - or both of us!"

"You have to let him loose. He's the only one who can save us."

"Save us?" I stared at her, puzzled. "Save us how?"

"He caused the Shadows," she said urgently. "Everyone in Chaos is talking about it. If he gets rid of them, maybe the king will let us go home agai -"

I drew back. "Impossible."

"Why? Don't you want to go home?"

"This
is
home. I need the Shadows like you need the Logrus." I thought back to the unicorn and the Pattern, and suddenly the half-formed suspicions in the back of my mind came out: "Besides, the Pattern can't be destroyed. It isn't Dad's creation."

She stared at me. "Of course it is! Everyone knows he made it!"

"He drew it, but it existed long before him. It's in me… and it's in other places, too." I thought of the ruby hanging around the unicorn's neck. "There are forces at work which I don't understand yet. I think they used Dad to create the Pattern. If he hadn't done it, they would have found someone else…

me, probably."

"So it was inevitable?" she said, gaze distant. "Is that what you're saying?"

"I think so. Yes."

"But
why
did it have to be my family?" Her voice rose in a wail. "Why must we suffer for it? I just want to go
home
!"

"Look around!" I said, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. I took in the whole of this virgin world with a sweep of my arm. "Here is a kingdom ripe for the taking. I'm going to build a city here. If you're not happy, there are more Shadows than you can possibly visit in your lifetime. Anything you can dream up exists somewhere out there. You just have to find it. You want to be a queen, or a goddess?

Go ahead! You want jewels or riches? Take them! It's your right. You are a creature of the Pattern, just as Dad is… like I am. It's in you, too, at least partly. It's in
all
of us. I can feel its presence. You might as well enjoy your true heritage."

"No!" she cried. "That's not what I want! I didn't realize how much I missed the Courts until I went home!"

"The Pattern is in your blood!" I said emphatically. "Look within yourself. Can't you feel it?"

"No!" she cried.

More gently, I said, "The Pattern is here to stay whether we want it or not. If that means you can't go back to the Courts of Chaos - well, we'll make our own version here. Call them… the Courts of Dworkin."

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not," I said. She just needed time to get used to the idea of living in Shadows for the rest of her life.

"Chaos is beautiful… a tide of unending change… music made flesh - and the powers we command there…"

"Used to command."

"You don't understand," she said bitterly.

"You're right," I said, letting a hard note creep into my voice. "I
don't
understand. I hated every minute of my time in Chaos. The only way you'll get me back there is if I'm dead!"

"That's why you tied Dad up, isn't it?" she demanded, turning on me suddenly. "He wanted to destroy the Shadows, and you wouldn't let him -"

I actually laughed at her.

"Stop that!" she cried. "It's not funny!"

"Don't be a fool, Blaise. Everything I've told you
is
true. You can see it, if you'll let yourself. Dad has gone crazy in a dangerous way. He can't help us now. We have to help
him
."

"He must have had a good reason to kill you. You did something to him, or he knew you were a danger to Chaos, or -"

I sighed. She didn't want to listen to reason.

"No," I said slowly and calmly. "As I told you, it wasn't like that. I found him lying unconscious in the middle of the Pattern. He kept saying the same strange thing over and over… 'Thellops.' Does it mean anything to you?"

She looked startled. "Thellops?"

"Yes." I saw the recognition in her eyes. "You know what it is, don't you?"

"It's not a what, it's a who." She licked her lips. "Thellops guards the Logrus."

"A Lord of Chaos." I snorted. It always came back to our enemies. "I should have guessed."

"He is more than that," Blaise said. "He takes care of the Logrus. It's a sacred trust. After the king, he is the most important man in the Courts."

"So he attacked Dad?"

"No. He's harmless… old and doddering. His mind drifts. Everyone says he's crazy, but no one does anything about it."

"He's crazy?" That caught my attention. "How? Like Dad?"

"He… he talks to the Logrus. Treats it like a person. Wanders around mumbling to it all day long.

I've seen him do it. It's… unnerving."

Dad hadn't gone quite that far around the bend yet. At least, I knew who Thellops was now.

Perhaps the answer lay somewhere close at hand, and I just didn't see it yet.

"How well do you know Thellops?" I pressed. Maybe she could get him to come here and help us. "Would he take a look at Dad, if we asked? Or would he betray us to King Uthor?"

"I don't know. I never paid much attention to him before."

"But you've met him," I said. "He knows you?"

"Yes."

"And Dad?"

"Of course. We've all met him. Everyone in Chaos has. He decides when - and if- you can enter the Logrus. And sometimes he gives you advice, whether you want it or not."

That piqued my interest. If magically powerful objects were anything alike, maybe Thellops's advice about the Logrus could be applied to the Pattern, too. If I could only master the Pattern and its powers, I had a feeling everything would be a lot easier for all of us.

"What sort of advice?" I asked. "What did he say to you about the Logrus?"

"When my turn came to enter it, he told me to bring a mirror with me. I did, and it became enchanted." Her voice grew husky. "Though I've lost my mirror now, of course."

"Can't you get it back?" Aber, after all, could summon almost anything across vast distances using the Logrus. Something as small as a mirror ought to be fairly easy. And an enchanted one might prove very useful to us here…

Blaise shrugged. "I will try later. I miss her."

"Who - the mirror?"

"Yes."

"What did it do?"

"She showed me the truth, always. Even when it hurt."

Interesting. Unfortunately, truth didn't strike me as particularly useful right now. I already knew the truth: we had a lunatic for a father and no clear way to help him.

What I needed more than anything else was a plan of action. If there was even a chance that Thellops could help Dad, we had to find a way to get him here. But how?

I took a deep breath and slowed myself down. It never helped to rush into things. I tried to take a mental step backward. It always helped me to try to look at problems from a different angle.

Instead of bringing Thellops here… might we somehow bring Dad to Thellops? King Uthor might have a price on our heads, but I could change my appearance at will. From what I'd seen, others in Chaos had that ability, too… maybe even Blaise? If we could disguise our father and smuggle him back to the Courts of Chaos for Thellops to cure…

Then I almost chuckled out loud. Ridiculous - we couldn't just walk into our enemy's stronghold with a vague hope someone might be able to cure our father. We might as well stroll up to the palace gates and ask to be captured or killed.

I chewed my lip thoughtfully. Again I tried to take a mental step back. There had to be another way.

"Tell me more about Thellops," I finally said. Understanding him better might provide a third solution.

"Everyone says he's a harmless old man. I don't know what else to add."

"Is he Uthor's man?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

She hesitated. "It's just a feeling I have. The way he's always looked at the king… with more annoyance than respect, I'd say."

"If I wanted to talk with him, how would I go about it? Is there a place I might find him alone and unguarded?"

"Maybe at the Logrus…"

"Does he ever leave the Courts?"

"I don't think so." She hesitated. "He's old. And crazy. Where would he go? Nobody wants him."

I started to pace. "Tell me more about the Logrus. Is it guarded? Could I get to it?"

"It's not guarded… it doesn't need to be."

"What about Thellops?"

"He doesn't carry any weapons, if that's what you mean. Maybe, if you caught him by surprise, you could bring him here before he could stop you. He doesn't look very strong."

"You never know. Appearances can be deceiving, especially with creatures of Chaos." I shook my head. "No, kidnapping him wouldn't work, anyway. We need him in a cooperative mood. Might we appeal to his sense of duty? Or friendship? How well does he know Dad?"

"Not well, I think. I have never heard Dad mention him before, except off-handedly."

"Thellops!" Dad suddenly muttered, as if on cue.

I glanced down at him. He seemed to be asleep. His arms and legs twitched like a dog chasing dream-rabbits.

Then another thought struck me.