To Professor, With Love (19 page)
Her glazed eyes widened, but then she rubbed her nose against mine and made a satisfied hum deep in her throat. “I am so absolutely okay, I think I could live with being this okay for the rest of my life.” Her voice was husky and sexed up. It ignited yet another aftershock from me.
We both grinned those goofy happy grins and kissed slowly, lazily, as if we had all the time in the world. Something loosened in my chest. All the pressures, and worries, and desperations in my life just sort of floated away. For the first time in too long to remember, I didn’t care about anything but this moment. Aspen had taken it all away.
Wanting to thank her for the bliss, I slipped my tongue between her lips and stroked the roof of her mouth. She was everything. Everything I needed. And the way she clung to me and caressed me made me feel cherished and needed in return. We were perfect for each other.
She sighed my name, and I knew. I’d do whatever was humanly possible for this woman.
It didn’t immediately compute when something wet and warm dripped down the inside of my leg. I was too busy floating in our shared high, amazed she seemed to be as punch drunk on our aftermath as I was. But whatever that shit was just kept running. I blinked a few times before I realized...
I’d just ridden her bareback.
And...here came fucking reality, walloping me with a full bitch smack of what-the-fuck-did-you-just-do right in the face.
“Shit.” I yanked my hips back, pulling out of her.
She gasped from the sudden separation. Her eyes were still dewy with passion, glazed over and soft, her expression full of elation and utter relaxation. Then she looked at me. Brows knitting with confusion, she cupped my cheek with one soft hand. “What’s wrong?”
Jesus. Where to start?
***
~ASPEN~
Noel flinched when I touched him. It killed a part of me. After what we’d just done, what we’d shared. I’d never felt anything like that with anyone before, as if we were no longer two separate people, but one binding whole.
Torn in half by his small rejection, I began to withdraw my hand. But he caught my fingers and squeezed them hard. His eyes went frantic, darting around my face as if he was scared...for me. “Are you okay?” he asked, and his breathing was no longer steady but coming in short bursts.
I nodded, confused. He’d just asked me that. “Of...of course. Why? What’s wrong?”
I’d been floating, absolutely high off life. Nothing could top the sensations alive and abounding inside me. Noel had been right; we
were
a force of nature together. Because that had been...that had be better than every amazing word in the entire dictionary. I couldn’t even describe—
But he still looked scared out of his mind. It made no sense. How could he be scared? There was nothing to fear. Life was wonderful.
The fear eased from his eyes as he blinked and then he blew out a breath as if forcibly reining his emotions under control. When he leaned in and tenderly cuddled me, my muscles relaxed. “I swear to you, Aspen, I wasn’t lying when I said I never forget. I don’t. I mean, I never have before. But this was...wow. Shit. It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever done before. And you have to admit it was totally unplanned. And we weren’t exactly thinking rationally, and... If I’d been in the right frame of mind to remember, then...Jesus, we probably wouldn’t have done anything in the first place.”
I pulled away and looked up at him with a crinkle in my eyebrows. But what the heck was he talking about? He cringed in apology. “I’m clean. You don’t have to worry about that. They make sure of that frequently while you’re on the football team.”
I nodded. “Okay,” I said, still not catching on until he added, “Are you, by chance, on the pill?”
The pill?
The meaning finally took root, and every muscle in my body tightened. For a moment, I felt like a complete idiot. I didn’t have a lot of experience in this, but still...I’d read enough and watched movies, and...I totally should’ve realized what he was talking about from the beginning. I had a PhD, for crying out loud.
What was it with smart girls turning stupid whenever a hot guy smiled at them?
Stunned that I’d just put myself in this situation, and it was really happening...to me...I started to pull away, needing space to deal with...everything. But Noel tightened his arms around me.
No longer steady and comforting, his voice shook slightly as he whispered, “Aspen?”
He stroked my hair with those sigh-worthy hands of his just as something thumped against the door of the supply closet we were in.
I yelped, and the people on the other side laughed amongst themselves, their muffled voices filling our tiny space and jerking me back to the present with a malicious vengeance, before they moved off again, obviously not realizing we were inside.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, absolutely horrified. My mouth fell open. I tried to deny what had just happened, but I couldn’t. My skirt was still hiked up to my navel and something wet was slipping down the inside of my thighs.
“Don’t freak out,” Noel commanded in a soft, warning voice. He reached for my arm.
I squeaked out a sound and shoved him away, then gaped at him in utter horror. But...don’t freak out? Was he
insane
?
“We just...”
He blew out a long breath and nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
“At school,” I hissed, completely losing my cool. “
Omigod, omigod, omigod
.” Flapping my hands, I walked in a circle because there was nowhere else to go in this cramped closet, and I certainly couldn’t leave and risk anyone seeing me in my just-had-the-best-sex-of-my-life look. Realizing how rearranged my clothes still were, I beat them back into order, shoving my skirt down over my legs and jerking it around until the zipper was back where it belonged. My blouse was a disaster, there was no way to get the wrinkles out, but I desperately tried to iron it into submission with my hands.
“I can’t believe I just had sex with a student. I’m going to be fired before I even make it back to my office. Oh, shit. Damn. My parents are going to find out, and probably everyone else.” Eyes widening, I looked up at him. “Oh, hell. You’re Noel Gamble. This is definitely going to make the news. It’ll be even bigger than the coach with the volleyball player. Oh...my God. I’m going to be a scandal. How can I be a scandal? I’ve never even gotten a parking ticket. I drive the freaking speed limit and use my blinker to change lanes. And this one time, the telephone company refunded me too much money on my cell phone bill, but I caught the error and gave it back. I. Gave. It. Back. I always do the right thing. I never... Oh, my God. This is the worst thing I’ve ever done. I can’t even—”
“Breathe,” Noel ordered, catching my shoulders and pressing my back against the wall. “Just calm down, okay.”
I drew in a heaving breath, realizing I hadn’t breathed since I’d started my panic attack. I looked up into Noel’s eyes, seeking reassurance. He appeared calm enough for both of us, so I took comfort in that...for like a microsecond. But then it all hit me again.
“Your coach,” I gasped. “Oh, my God, Noel. Your coach said he’d kick any player off the team who was caught—”
“Then we just won’t get caught,” Noel spoke over me, determination lighting his gaze as he gritted his teeth.
“But—”
He kissed me silent. Rough and quick, but it effectively shut me up. Gripping my face in his hands, he forced me to look at him. “What we did was amazing,” he said as if willing me to believe that as fiercely as he did with his stare alone. “It was just between you and me, and it was no one else’s fucking business. I know you won’t show me any favoritism in class, and I sure as hell won’t ask for any. I’ll work my ass off to earn whatever grade I get. We can keep the two separate; that’s all that matters. And we’re two consenting adults who—”
“Who just did it in closet like a pair of irresponsible teenagers without any protection. Oh, my God. I’m supposed to be some kind of role model for all the young girls on campus. What kind of message would this send? Damn it, Noel, you know this is wrong. This can never happen again, not that it matters. We’re going to get caught as soon we open this door, and it’s all going to be over, anyway.”
He shook his head insistently. In that moment, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever met a more stubborn person in my life. “Look, okay, the condom thing was, yeah, a mistake. I’ll admit that one. Neither of us were thinking. Things happened. But it did happen, and we can’t undo it. So we’ll just...we’ll deal with those consequences if there are any. And we’re not going to get caught in here either. We’ll wait until everything settles down between classes. We can slip out after—”
“But I have another class to teach.” Oh, God. Just saying that aloud made this that much more real. And awful.
I’d just had hard and dirty sex, on campus, with one of my students, and I had another class to teach in...shit, twenty minutes.
My hands began to shake. I was one of
those
women now. It didn’t seem real.
Noel choked out a sound of pain and his expression crumbled as he reached for my face. “Jesus, don’t cry.” When he wiped wetness off my cheek, I realized I already was.
A sob worked up my throat, and I shuddered with fear.
“No.” He hauled me against him, my forehead bumping hard against his clavicle. “I’m sorry.” His fingers sank into my hair and rubbed my scalp. “I lost my mind and before I knew it, I was inside you. I’m so sorry, Aspen. I’ll make this right. I swear it.”
I let his words calm me. I even rested my cheek on his chest until he seemed satisfied I was okay. Then I let him crack open the door and check the hall. He took my hand and led me from the stuffy supply closet that now smelled like us. But as soon as we were out, I shook my fingers away from his.
He glanced back at me as if he wanted to argue about it. I knew he wanted me to follow him so we could go somewhere else together. But this had to stop here. And he must’ve seen something in my face, known I wasn’t going anywhere with him, because he clenched his jaw but silently nodded his acceptance.
So, he took off one way down the hall, and I went the other, telling myself this could never happen again. No matter how amazing it had been, no matter how much I loved being with him, no matter how great I felt just looking at him, this could never...happen...again.
"I want to know everything about you, so I tell you everything about myself.” - Amy Hempel
~NOEL~
I gave her twenty-four hours. I knew Aspen. She needed time and space to wrap her head around what had happened. It killed me to give it to her, but I allowed it. But only for one day. I knew there was no way I’d be able to enter her class on Thursday and watch her teach without imploding, so on Wednesday afternoon, beyond grateful I didn’t have to work that night because I’d reorganized the schedules at work, I hiked to her place as soon as I thought she’d be home for the day.
She answered her door, cracking the entrance open and peering out at me with her large, adorable owl eyes. As her mouth fell open, I stepped forward. She had to scurry backward and pull the door open wider to let me in, but she did, without any kind of fight. The shock might’ve prevented her from trying to bar my way.
I was okay with that, because I was inside.
Shutting the door behind me, I held her shocked gaze. “You about done freaking out yet?”
She swung her head back and forth. “No.”
“Well, I’m done waiting.” Cupping her face in my hands, I added, “What we’re doing is wrong. Making it a one-time deal is
wrong
. Trying to convince ourselves it was dirty and tawdry and something to be ashamed of is wrong. It was the best damn sex of my life, Aspen. I felt connected to you, like hell, I don’t know. I wasn’t just getting off in some random girl; I was sharing something deep and meaningful...with
you
. I don’t care how many school policies tell us no.
I’m
saying yes.”
She drew in a loud breath and shook her head. “Why do you make it so hard for me to resist you?”
Hot damn, I was winning. My lips kicked up at the side. “Because you want to say yes just as badly as I want you to.”
A groan, telling me her will was crumbling, exited her lungs. “This is going to end badly.” She leaned forward and thumped her forehead against my chest.
“Maybe.” My arms swooped around her as I kissed her hair. “Maybe not.” Then I kissed her cheek. “I hope not.”
Looking up at me, she showed me all the faith she had in me. “So do I.”
Finally, I kissed her mouth. Her lips trembled under mine, so I eased up on the pressure until she was the one straining forward for more.
Her fingers settled in my hair. I walked her backward to her couch and settled her down. There was so much I wanted to do, and touch, and see. The closet had been nothing but a giant tease. I hadn’t been able to undress her completely, or taste her nipples or kiss the inside of the thigh. I planned to rectify all that right now.
But about as soon as we were both horizontal and I was slowly peeling her shirt up over her head, a buzzer went off somewhere in the back of her house.
Lifting my head in absolute confusion, I glanced around. “What the hell?”
Under me, Aspen laughed and swiped at my hair with fingers as if smoothing it back into place. “Oven timer.” She wiggled under me to let me know she wanted up.
I sat back, blinking at the concept of an oven timer going off. Nothing had ever been cooked in the oven at my apartment, and it sure as hell hadn’t back home. I’d had home-cooked meals a few times when the neighbor lady three trailer houses down had taken pity on us kids and invited us over. But to think of Aspen making a home-cooked meal was...unreal.
“Food,” I said dumbly as my stomach rumbled happily over the idea. Well, hell. She cooked too? This was too good to be true. “What’re we eating?”
“We?” Aspen arched her strict, professor eyebrow at me as she stood and smoothed her shirt back into place. “I don’t remember inviting you to supper?”
“Oh, come on.” I popped up after her and trailed her into the kitchen like a begging puppy. “I’m a poor, deprived college kid. Are you really going to deny this face?” I pointed out my puckered lip and batting eyelashes.
When she glanced over and caught sight of them, she laughed. “Oh, my God. You’re pathetic. Okay, fine. You can stay for supper. I have plenty.”
After she turned off the timer, she grabbed a set of hot pads, but I snatched them from her. “You’re injured. I’ll do it.”
She frowned. “Injured? What’re you talking about?”
“Your arm,” I reminded her as I opened the oven. “Falling box of books. Gashed shoulder. Fifteen stiches. Ring a bell?”
Her hand fluttered to her shoulder. “I don’t even notice them anymore. They’ve stopped pulling when I move.”
“Well, that’s good. But just wait until they start itching. After one of my mom’s
friends
put me in the hospital one time, I—oh, shit. Lasagna. You made
lasagna
?”
She blinked. “I...” Shaking her head, she glanced at the lasagna before turning back to me. “Yeah, I made lasagna. What were you saying about being put in a
hospital
? How old were you?”
I kind of liked the fierce expression on her face, as if she wanted to go defend the past me. I waved a hand. “Oh, ten or so. The point is, I ended up with stiches, and they irritated the hell out of me when they were ready to come out because they itched so much. But, seriously, how did you know lasagna was my favorite meal?”
“I just craved lasagna tonight.”
“Well, you made enough for an army.” I slid it free and set it on the hot plate she’d already set up on the countertop. “So, I’m saying your subconscious knew I was coming and your telepathy told you to make me this.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she rested her hip against the counter as she faced me. “And I’m saying you’re completely ridiculous.” She shook her head, her eyes twinkling. “You know, when I first saw you, I had no idea you’d be quite this...playful.”
I caught her waist and pulled her up against me. Anchoring her bottom against the counter so I could press into her, I ducked my face and brushed my nose against her neck. “I had no idea about a lot of things about you, so I’d say we’re even on that score. You are nothing like I thought you’d be. You’re better. So...so much better.”
When I grasped the hem of her shirt and yanked it up over her head, she yelped out her surprise. “Noel!”
I grinned. “What? I think we should eat topless.” Her hands went to cover her plain white bra, but I caught her wrists. “Don’t.” My voice was soft. Pleading. “I want to see you.”
I heard her swallow. Her body trembled against mine. Then she lifted her bright green eyes and confessed, “Then I want to see you too.”
I breathed easier. “Done.” My own shirt was off half a second later.
Eyes widening, Aspen ran her gaze over me with a look of complete awe. “Wow.”
“Feel free to touch,” I told her. “Because I plan to.”
I smoothed my fingers over the ugly black stitches on her shoulder. She shuddered and closed her eyes, so I kept on, shifting my hand up until I caught hold of the strap of her bra. I slid it off and kissed the patch of skin it’d been hiding. Kissing my way down to the breast it no longer supported, I brushed the cup aside and took her nipple into my mouth. There, I suckled, making her groan until finally she touched me back. She curled her hand around the back of my neck, and clung to me while I tugged gently on her breast.
As my tongue worked over the hard peak, she trailed her hands down my back. When she reached the waistband of my jeans, she came around to the front, made a tentative sweep over my six-pack and then popped open the top button of my jeans. That’s when I couldn’t take it any longer.
“You know, we should wait for that lasagna to cool down before we eat it.”
“We really should,” she agreed and kissed my pec, right over my heart as she made a humming sound in her throat and slid my zipper down.
Gripping her hips, I picked her up. “I have the perfect idea of how we could bide our time.”
Teeth nipped my earlobe before she whispered, “Take me to bed.”
***
~ASPEN~
Noel laid me almost reverently on my mattress. Then he stepped back and ripped open his jeans. I sat up, utterly captivated. He was perfectly formed, his body a sculpted piece of art. As he pushed stiff denim over his hips and down his legs, I swear my mouth watered. I swallowed and let my gaze drop down every blessed inch of him, then back up to his bulging boxers.
“I like how you watch me.” He put on even more of a show by hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts.
“I like watching you.” Holding my breath, I waited and then...wow. He pushed the boxes down until he was gloriously naked.
“You like?” Holding his hands open at his sides, he turned slowly to give me a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view. His tight, narrow butt was just as impressive as what bobbed out the front.
I could barely tear my gaze away. But I managed to meet his eyes. “You’ll do.”
He laughed and crawled onto the bed, pausing when he bumped his knee against the paperback I’d been reading last night before going to bed. Scowling at it, he picked it up and tossed it over his shoulder.
I gasped in outrage. “Hey! My book.”
“I’ll apologize to it later, I swear.” Then he hulked over me and stared down into my eyes.
I narrowed him a half-hearted scowl. “That’s two paperbacks now that have been harmed because of you. I hope you realize that’s not a good way to start a relationship with a book junkie.”
He merely arched an eyebrow. “
Two
books?”
“Yeah. That one, and the one I drenched in the bathtub when I—” Remembering he knew absolutely nothing about the bathroom incident, I snapped my mouth shut and flushed a deep scarlet.
“Bathtub?” He caught on to my distress a little too easily and gave a wicked grin. “Were you perhaps...
naked
in this bathtub?”
I gulped unable to take my eyes off his. “I usually am when I’m in the bath.”
“Hmm.” He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I’m having a hard time picturing you that way. Can you give me a better visual?”
Without asking, he opened the top clasp of my skirt. Then he slid it down my legs. “Damn,” he murmured once I was completely unclothed. “You are so...beautiful.”
I blushed under his stare, and my nipples pulled tight. He focused on them hungrily. “So, about this bath where you ruined a perfectly good book.” Voice husky, he ran his gaze over me yet again His fingertips lightly flicked over one nipple. “Were you perhaps doing...this...when it happened?” He cupped me between the legs and rubbed his fingers against my clit.
I arched and groaned, grabbing a handful of sheets under me as my body pushed up against his touch. “Maybe,” I panted.
“And you were thinking about me while you did this?”
When he leaned down to replace his fingers with his mouth, his tongue sliding mercilessly over my aching flesh, I cried out and grabbed his hair. But, oh, my God. “Definitely,” I confessed on a high voice.
“Jesus, Aspen.” His voice was unstable and frantic. “You completely undo me.”
His hands spread my thighs wider as his tongue lapped deeper. I dug my heels into the mattress under me, feeling his touch from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. Then he pushed a finger inside me, and I cried out my shock. The wave of pleasure was overwhelming. I tried to fight it and embrace it at the same time, unable to stop writhing as Noel took me to a new level of delirious.
Sagging onto the mattress when the muscles in my body went into a post-coital coma, I stared at Noel in dazed wonder while he scrambled off the bed, jerked up his pants and dug through the pockets until he pulled out a folded line of condoms.
“Look, I remembered this time.” He was so boyishly adorable as he sent me a proud grin that I had to grin back. In fact, I had a feeling I was glowing from head to toe I felt so sublime.
He tore one off from the others and glanced at me, smiling as he shook his head. “You look like you’ve just been fucked silly.”
At the moment, I couldn’t feel insulted if I wanted to. I simply kept beaming. “Haven’t I?”
“Not yet.” A new determined gleam lit his eyes as he crawled back onto the bed. Hovering above me, he leaned in to kiss my lips. His tongue mated with mine as he suited up. And then his warm palm clasped my knee, nudging me open just a little more.
When he pushed inside, I threw my head back and breathed through my teeth. He was always just so...there. Huge and filling, like he wanted to take over every available space I had to give and then demand more.
Gripping my thighs, he wrapped my legs around his waist and curled his arms around me. Knotted together until I didn’t know where I ended and he began, we made love.
***
The room was quiet. Feeling too lethargic to move, I lounged sideways across Noel’s chest, completely nude as he ran his hand over my warm, sensitive spine.
“That feels...” I managed a moan. “So good.”
“Oh, yeah?” He sat up enough to lean over me and kiss my jutting hipbone. “Feels good to me too. You’re soft all over.”
I closed my eyes and smiled, unable to control the giddiness roaring through me. But I’d never had an after-sex experience like this before. With the two guys who hadn’t forced me, they’d left with excuses as soon as they’d finished. Actually, since the first hadn’t even bothered to finish, I guess only the one guy had pulled out as soon as he’d finished his business, and then he’d gone on his merry way.
But this...this was nice. I liked after-sex cuddling.
Noel rolled me from my side onto my back so he could kiss my belly button next, but a lump under my spine had me wiggling until I reached back and pulled up the blue bunny he’d won at the carnival.
Arching an eyebrow, he picked it up and sent me a smug grin. “I knew you’d keep this thing.” Then he used the soft cloth of the bunny’s ear to caress me from my navel and up between my breasts.
I sighed and stretched languidly under him.
He hummed in contentment. “I’m suddenly very, very glad you wear those frumpy clothes you do to school. I think I’d flip my shit if any other guy on campus had a clue what you looked like under them.”
I glanced at him, lifting my eyebrows. “What, you don’t like my power suits?”
He gave a quick laugh. “Power suits? Is that what you call them?”