To Love and to Cherish (5 page)

It appeared that he'd upended her calm. She blushed in a shy manner that made him fear he could fall head over heels in love in a single moment. She wasn't nearly as worldly as she tried to pretend if a mild compliment could cause her to blush so brilliantly.

“I have two cousins who are more attractive than I am. We've known the same people all our lives. I'm related to half of them. No one thinks of any one of us as beautiful, and certainly not voluptuous.” She regained enough composure to laugh. “They don't hesitate to remind us of the years when we were straggly and boney with uneven teeth and unsightly bumps.” She leaned a little toward him. “I appreciate your compliment, but you mustn't say anything like that again.”

“If I agreed to do that, I won't be talking very much. How about the men who work for me? Are they equally forbidden to express their admiration for your beauty?”

“I'm sure they're all gentlemen. Otherwise, you would not have hired them.”

“I don't know what kind of men you've been around, but they must have been like your banker—bloodless and full of conceit. I have a fifteen-year-old nephew. If you think you can muzzle him, you're welcome to try. I've never succeeded. My men are as hot-blooded as any men who've gone a long time without enjoying the company of a beautiful woman. They're likely to stare and be unable to speak without stuttering, but they're gentlemen.” Laurie looked uncomfortable, but if she wanted to go into a partnership with him, she had to know the kind of reception she could expect. Dumbfounded amazement would just be the beginning.

“I'm sure you exaggerate,” Laurie said self-consciously. “Now we ought to talk about the terms of the contract.”

“Naturally, the terms of the contract won't come into play until I have the money, but they can be straightforward. Depending on how much of the purchase cost you provide, you will own that percentage of the herd.”

“Do you mean I will own so many animals and you will own the rest?”

“No. We will each own the same percentage of each cow. When we sell one, we both make a profit. When one dies, we both lose.”

“When would you plan to sell?”

“That's hard to say. I would like to build the herd, select the best bulls, and sell the rest. I would do the same with the cows.”

“So you don't anticipate a major sale for up to a year?”

“Not of Herefords, though I'll be gradually selling off the longhorns. Is that a problem?”

“No. Since we're going to be partners, I want to know your plans for the future of the ranch.”

“You didn't say anything about being a partner, only investing in my herd.”

“I said I wanted to invest in your
ranch
. That encompasses more than the cows. It includes the house, the land, even the equipment.”

This little lady didn't know what she was asking. No man took a woman as a partner, not even a silent one. “I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“It would require more money.”

“And if I have the money?”

“Do you?”

“I won't know until you tell me how much the ranch is worth.”

He tossed out a figure he was certain she couldn't meet. “But it won't make any difference if you have the money. I don't want a partner.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“A reasonable man would have one, and I believe you're more than reasonable.”

Jared had always considered himself a rational man, so it came as a shock to realize he
didn't
have a reason for not accepting a woman as a business partner. He'd never known it to happen and had unconsciously assumed it wouldn't work. But what would a partnership with Laurie entail? Nothing but an infusion of money. She wouldn't live at the ranch, she wouldn't ride with them, and she wouldn't know enough about ranching to make the business decisions. Since she was obviously gifted in math, she would probably want to see the books to make sure she was getting her fair share of the profits, but that would be the extent of her involvement. Partnership with her would be the perfect solution.

“I'm ashamed to say I don't have a reason beyond never having seen it happen before.”

“Then if you will give me a
realistic
figure for the cost of a full partnership, we can discuss terms.”

Jared was so curious he had to ask. “Where did you get your grasp of business? The women I've known haven't been interested in anything beyond babies and what to cook for supper.”

“My father owned the mercantile with my husband. I've heard the two of them and Norman discuss business at the supper table for years. Since I was
only
a
woman
who couldn't understand anything they said well enough to repeat it later, they talked about everything.”

Jared's father had done much the same. “Okay, here's what I paid for the ranch.” The figure was so low she raised her eyebrows in surprise. “It covers only the land, the house, and the other buildings. The range is free to anyone who can hold it.”

Her enthusiasm disappeared. “I can't meet that figure and pay for my share of the herd.”

He was relieved. He much preferred that her involvement be limited to the herd. “That's okay with me. I only wanted enough money to buy the stock.”

“It's not okay with me. If I can't be a full partner, I won't be a partner at all.”

Jared could see his dream was about to crumble if he didn't do something quickly. “Why is being a full partner so important to you? You said you know nothing about ranching.”

At first, Laurie seemed reluctant to answer. Was his question too personal? Was she hiding more secrets she didn't wish to share? Whatever the reasons for her reluctance, she appeared to set them aside. She spoke with a directness that left no room for doubt or insecurity.

“I've been ignored my whole life for the simple fact that I'm a woman. It was assumed I had no intelligence and wouldn't have wished for any. I was told what to do and was expected to be grateful for it.
That
will
not
happen
again
.”

Jared couldn't believe such a beautiful woman had been treated so badly. He'd have willingly turned himself into a slave to be able to make love to a woman like Laurie. Noah Spencer must have been a complete and utter fool.

“A limited agreement wouldn't mean that you were ignored. You would have access to the books so you would know the exact amount of all costs and profits. You would be welcome to come inspect them at any time.”

She was unmoved. “I can't accept that. I would feel like an outsider asking permission to see what was my own. I wouldn't know what was happening with my investment. This is all the money I have. If I lose it, I'll be a prisoner for the rest of my life.” Her agitation was growing. She spoke as though to herself, “I was so sure this was the answer.”

“It can be. It's a safe investment. Herefords are nearly as indestructible as longhorns, which is why I was surprised Mr. Spencer turned down my request for a loan.”

“If I didn't know it was impossible, I'd believe Norman knew I was going to approach you and turned you down just so I could fail and remain under his control.”

That didn't make any sense to him, but he could see Laurie was upset. He could also see that the money he needed was about to disappear. “You'd be welcome to come out to the ranch at any time. If you'd prefer, I could go into town once a week to tell you what we're doing. If you had any questions, you could come see for yourself. Or you could ask someone you trust to come in your stead.”

“You don't understand.
I
want to do this. I don't want to be told by you or anyone else.” She started to rise.

“Don't go.” He had to do something to make her stay, something to keep her from withholding her money. If he changed his mind and said she could have a full partnership for the same money, she wouldn't trust him. She'd probably believe he would treat her like her husband had. He had to find some way for her to believe that she was paying for her share of the partnership. Only one solution came to mind.

“You can have a full partnership if you'll cook and clean for us.”

Jared knew immediately he'd said the wrong thing. “Our cook is so bad we can hardly eat anything he fixes. My nephew was complaining about him just before you came.” He had to try harder, because she wasn't looking any happier. “The army taught me to be neat and organized, but I don't have the time to keep the house clean. I tried to arrange for one of the wives from Fort Verde to help, but no one would do it.”

“And you think I would?”

How did he say he wasn't suggesting anything improper without putting it into words? “As a full partner, it would be in your best interest to make sure your investment was being properly managed and your workers well cared for.”

Her smile was cynical. “Very cleverly stated, but what you're proposing is to turn me into a drudge.”

“Do you cook for yourself, clean your own house?”

“Of course I do, but I don't live I-don't-know-how-many miles from town without a woman or relative around. My reputation would be ruined. I'm surprised you didn't know that's why no army wife would take your job.”

He did, but he'd hoped the hardships of living in the West would knock some sense into the outdated social customs of the East. They'd managed it in Texas. Why not Arizona?

Laurie got to her feet. “Thank you for talking to me and answering my questions so frankly. I regret we couldn't reach an agreement.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I hope you find some way to purchase your Herefords. They sound like the best stock for this range.”

Jared wanted to keep arguing, but he could tell Laurie had made up her mind. It was still possible he might come up with a solution, but it wouldn't be today. Yet he was encouraged by the fact that she'd offered the money and was unhappy that it hadn't worked out as she'd hoped. She wanted the partnership. He just had to find a way to make it acceptable to her.

On the other hand, maybe it was best things hadn't worked out. He would have done his best to control his urges, but being around Laurie for hours at a time would have put a severe strain on him. Even now he could practically feel her full breasts in his hands, imagine how it would be to kiss that lush mouth, to sink into her body with—

He had to stop before he embarrassed himself in front of her, which would guarantee that she'd never set foot on the ranch again.

“I'm sorry we couldn't reach an agreement, but I'll try to think of a way we can work together. I hope you will, too.”

“My terms won't change.”

Her brother-in-law ought to give her a job in the bank. She was a tough negotiator.

He followed her out and helped her into her buggy. As he watched her drive away, he owned he'd do whatever was necessary to make this partnership a reality. Laurie Spencer was simmering with untapped passion. She'd been kept under such tight restraint she probably didn't realize it herself. He needed her money to stock his ranch, but she needed him to bring her back to life.

Still, he wasn't going to give his ranch away. It was all he and Steve owned in the world. If she wanted a partnership, she would have to pay for it one way or the other.

***

Laurie had suffered many disappointments in life, some of tragic proportions, so she wasn't prepared to find herself so frustrated that her proposed partnership with Jared Smith hadn't worked out. She couldn't think of any other way she could invest her money, certainly not one where she could keep the origin of the money secret. And she needed to do that, she thought, as she remembered how she had gotten the money.

Everything had been in chaos the night Naomi shot the man who'd killed their grandfather. On one hand, the men were trying to sort out what happened and figure out how to keep the army from punishing them for killing one of their soldiers. On the other hand, they were trying to keep the women and children from knowing what had taken place. Everyone was focused on Naomi and the two dead men, which left Laurie and Sibyl to clean up as best they could.

When Dr. Kessling was cleaning up the blood, he threw the soldier's saddlebags at Laurie and told her to see if he had stolen anything from Grandpa Brown. She knew more about the house than the doctor did. She found several items the soldier had stolen, but there was a packet of bills at the bottom she knew didn't belong to her grandfather. The men were too busy worrying about the bodies to be interested in the contents of the saddlebags, so she kept the money for herself.

Not until she overheard Noah and Norman talking about bags of money found in their and Sibyl's father's houses did she realize the money had been part of a Union Army payroll. Had anyone from the army found the money there, the men would have been arrested and possibly shot. Too afraid to think of using it yet unable to turn it in, Laurie had hidden the money in the bottom of one of her trunks. She'd kept it hidden for five years. Only Noah's death had made it possible for her to use it. But the question was how?

A partnership with Jared Smith was the only practical plan she had. He was a stranger who wouldn't think it unusual that a wealthy widow had access to so much money. Anyone who knew Noah would demand to know where she got it. If Norman found out, he would be certain she'd stolen it from her husband and insist that she give it to him. She was so nettled she flicked the whip over her horse's head. She regretted it immediately. The road was so full of rocks and holes that the extra speed threatened to shake the buggy to pieces. She slowed the horse to a trot.

Being allowed to learn to drive had been one of the few concessions to independence Noah had allowed.

She couldn't help but draw comparisons between Noah and Jared, even though there was no common ground on which they could be judged. The two men were nearly opposites in every respect.

Noah had disliked her physical appearance and had forced her to try to disguise it. However, it had been immediately apparent that Jared Smith had not only liked her appearance, but had been strongly aroused by it. After four years of being told her appearance was an affront to Noah's mother's memory, Jared's reaction was a great relief. She hadn't chosen her body. It had been chosen for her. There was nothing she could do about it. Noah had made her feel even worse by saying her body gave her the appearance of a woman who would encourage men to harbor unsuitable thoughts. She'd spent years trying to disguise the outlines of her figure and avoiding places where she would be noticed by strangers.

She reluctantly admitted that she enjoyed knowing Jared appreciated her looks, but it was a little unsettling to know carnal thoughts sprang so readily to his mind. Even more disturbing, his interest in her had given rise to a few such thoughts in her mind. She'd never thought she was the lustful creature Noah had accused her of being. Nature had designed men and women to be attracted to each other. How else could the race be perpetuated? She would never yield to it, but it couldn't be
wrong
to feel such an attraction to a man like Jared. Naomi had told her that's how she felt about Colby. It had shocked Laurie at the time, but now she understood.

She wondered what it would feel like to have such strong arms around her. Noah had said a lady should preserve decorum at all times. Apparently that forbade all touching. Once, she'd felt so desperate she'd asked Noah to touch her. His response made her feel like a tramp. After that, she never asked again.

She approached a shallow crossing of the Verde River. Its waters were the lifeblood of the valley it meandered through on its way to the Salt River. Along its banks, oaks, willows, and cottonwoods commingled with a smattering of black walnut and box elder. A hundred feet downstream, a mule deer drank from the crystal clear water. Upstream, a heron stood like a statue waiting for an unwary fish to wander within its reach.

Laurie's horse plunged into the shallow water without hesitation. Despite a cold wind that chilled her cheeks, the desert sun's rays burned their way into the fabric of her navy coat, making her feel too warm. Or was it the result of thinking too much about Jared Smith?

Her horse climbed up the far bank, splashing water onto the parched soil. Despite the sun's warmth and the river's shallow depth, streams flowing from the Mogollon Rim kept the water cool even in summer. The youngsters loved swimming in it.

She wondered if Jared ever swam in the river. The image that created in her mind was so vivid and unnerving she decided she wouldn't think about him anymore—and then proceeded to do it anyway. She found him very attractive. Any woman would. He had a way of looking at her that made her feel he couldn't see anyone else. It was evident he liked what he saw. While that made her slightly uneasy, it also excited her.

After years of being fearful of being thought attractive, it gave her a heady feeling to have a handsome man look at her with lust in his eyes. It was even more intoxicating because she could sense a connection between them. He was a big, powerful man, thoroughly masculine, but there was a sensuality about him that was so palpable it was practically visible, so strong that leaving his house was like being released from bondage. If she were alone with him for any length of time, she wouldn't be able to vouch for her behavior.

That's why she couldn't accept his offer to cook and clean in exchange for a full partnership in his ranch.

Now she didn't know what to do with the money. She could use it in small amounts to take the edge off Norman's parsimony, but that wouldn't give her the complete independence she wanted. If she moved to Tucson or Phoenix and was very careful with her money, she had enough to survive for years, but she didn't want to leave her family and friends. She could look for a job, but that wasn't easy for a woman. She needed to find a new investment, but it would have to be with a stranger to keep from having to explain where she'd gotten the money. There were no other strangers in the valley she felt she could trust, no one she
wanted
to trust.

She had to be careful not to let physical attraction get in the way of pragmatic thinking. This was her future. She wouldn't get a second chance. She had plenty of time to look for another investment. Living under Norman's thumb wouldn't be pleasant, but it wouldn't be forever.

***

Laurie stared at the paper in her hands, unable to believe what she was seeing. It was a list of typical menus for one week and the cost of each meal.

“I used that to determine your food allowance,” Norman was saying.

Her allowance! He made it sound like she was a child. “There are things on this list I don't eat, and it makes no allowance for guests.”

“I figure you'll eat with others as often as they eat with you.”

“You can't determine the cost of a meal merely from the price of the meat and vegetables on the plate. There's butter, oil, flour, seasonings, dozens of other things that go into the preparation of a meal. And that doesn't include soap for cleaning up.”

“I'll talk with Sibyl to see what extra costs she thinks are necessary.”

“Why not talk to
me
! No one knows better what it will cost to feed me.”

“Noah's will made it quite clear that he wanted me to make these decisions for you. I can't go against his wishes. Even if I wished to do so—and I do not—I'm legally bound to follow his instructions.”

“I don't believe
making
all
decisions
for
my
welfare
extends to deciding how much salt I need, or whether I should eat chicken rather than goose.”

“That's what I interpret it to mean.”

She didn't believe that. She was certain he couldn't resist the chance to have her completely in his power. He'd tried to do that with his own wife and had failed. Now he was trying to feed his ego by doing it to Laurie. “What if the prices go up?”

“Bring me any bills in question, and I'll see about making adjustments.”

Laurie could see herself keeping every bill and adding up pennies to prove a point Norman was as likely as not to ignore. “What about the rest of my expenses?”

“Noah left meticulous records of what it cost to run his house. Since there's only one of you rather than two, I've cut that figure by half.”

Laurie ground her teeth. If Norman had paid any attention to those
meticulous
records,
he wouldn't have had to make up those ridiculous menus. “The house doesn't care if there are two or twenty people living there. It takes the same amount to keep it furnished, clean, and heated, and repairs made.”

“Bring me any pertinent bills, and I'll look at them.”

That was probably all he would do. “What about the rest of my allowance?”

“The only other major item is your clothing allowance.”

He looked with disapproval at what she was wearing. She'd dressed more conservatively than she had the day she came to see him about the will, but she was never going back to the tent-like dresses Noah had insisted she wear.

“I'm certain Noah would find your present outfit too revealing.”

“This dress is no more revealing than the ones Sibyl or every other woman in this town wears.”

“We're not talking about other women. Noah had very definite ideas about what he thought was suitable for his wife, and it's up to me to follow those.”

“I'm not Noah's wife any longer. I'm his widow.”

“That doesn't change anything.”

“It changes
everything
.”

“As long as it's Noah's money that supports you, I believe we have to follow his wishes as closely as if he were alive. According to his accounts, he provided you with a generous amount for clothing. Do you really need that much?”

Noah had spent more than necessary on her clothes because he was never satisfied with what he could find in made-up dresses. When a seamstress came to Cactus Corner three months before his death, Noah had immediately engaged her to make clothes for Laurie. He'd been enraged when the woman refused to make the kind of dresses he required. She said if women saw Laurie parading around town in a dress that fit no better than a sack, she wouldn't have a single customer.