To Love and Protect (37 page)

Clarissa gathered up the pillowcase and left her room.
 
She reached the top of the servant’s stairs without incident.
 
She had just begun to descend the stairs when she heard the pounding of footsteps.
 

“Justin, leave her be,” she heard Matilda say.
 
Clarissa continued down the staircase, still able to hear the conversation between Southerby and his grandmother.

“Grams, I cannot do this anymore.
 
I have given her all the space I can.
 
She will not talk to me.
 
She will not talk to Megan.
 
She will not talk to her father.
 
Her anger for me is being taken out on everyone.
 
I don’t care if she yells and screams at me, but dammit she will talk to me.”

Those words helped Clarissa find a physical strength she didn’t know she had.
 
She flew down the stairs with an agility that surpassed her slow and steady movements of the previous days.
 
She slipped out the servant’s entrance just as she heard Justin yell her name.
 
Behind her there was commotion spilling from the house into the twilight sky.
 
Clarissa made it to the stable and climbed into the loft before Justin gained his entrance.

Clarissa peered over the edge and watched as Justin angrily approached one of the horses.
 
Sensing his anger, the horse backed away from him, neighing worriedly.
 
Justin brought the horse from his paddock, not bothering to attempt to soothe him.
 
She watched as he bent to retrieve a saddle before another person’s entrance garnered her attention.

“Son, you can’t go,” Justin’s father said.

“I can, and I will.”

“Don’t go in anger.
 
That is what started all this mess in the first place.
 
We haven’t even finished searching the house.”

“Believe me, you won’t find her in that house.
 
Perhaps if I beat her until she can’t sit down she will learn not to traipse off on her own.
 
Lord knows, one spanking didn’t make it clear enough.”

“You didn’t!”

“I did, fat lot of good it did me.
 
She still doesn’t know how to stay in one place.”

Clarissa felt herself scowling at the younger man.

“Justin,” his father said reprovingly.

“I’m going.
 
Gramps has predicted a fierce storm.
 
She has no idea what she is getting herself into.”

“We’ll send out a search party.”

“Do that in the morning, if you must, but I’m going now.”

In the morning
, Clarissa fumed silently.
 
Did he think so little of her that he would wait until morning to send out people to search for her?
 
You do not want to be found
, she chided herself.
 
Justin finished saddling his horse and was about to mount when his father halted his progress.

“At least take these extra blankets and food.
 
And send word on your progress.”

“Aye.”
 
She watched the men briefly hug and Justin whispered something to his father.
 
The man nodded his agreement before pulling back.
 
He watched Justin mount and ride out of the stable before returning to the house.

Clarissa waited until she was certain that everyone had gone before she made her way down the ladder.
 
She found pants and a shirt and quickly changed.
 
She reached inside the fireplace and rubbed soot all over her exposed skin and in her oiled hair, darkening it.
 
There was a quiet, little mare in the back of the stable that she had ridden before her illness.
 
She saddled her as quickly as possible and stuffed her food-laden pillowcase in a saddlebag and a blanket in the other.
 
Then curling her nose, she used her old clothes and rubbed them in some manure-covered straw and then rubbed it on herself.
 
If she were assaulted, hopefully the smell would turn away her would-be attackers.
 
She pulled a heavy coat off a peg in the back, mounted her horse, and left.

***

Clarissa rode hard the first hour, once she had gotten far enough away from the house that no one would hear the clopping of the horses’ hooves.
 
Since then, they had slowed to a walk since she knew that Justin was ahead of her, probably several villages by now, and that a search party would not be sent out until at least tomorrow.
 
If ever
, she thought cynically.

He probably only went after her because she had bested him in getting away.
 
She wanted to scream out her frustration at him, but instead let out a low, almost inaudible growl.
 
Clarissa looked down and noticed her horse’s head began to droop.
 
She looked up at the night sky and saw that the full moon was already past its zenith.
 
It must be late indeed.
 
All of a sudden she struggled to suppress a yawn.

She shook her head to wake up and nudged the horse into a canter.
 
They were passing a dark copse of trees when she thought she heard a rustle from deep within.
 
Her breath hitched slightly until she saw a rabbit hop out from the underbrush.

“You gave me a fright,” she told the furry little creature that twitched its nose looking around dazed, as if it had just been awakened.
 
She was so absorbed with the expression on the face of the rabbit that she did not see the dark figure that stepped out from the trees.
 
The person grabbed her horse’s bridle and jerked the reins from her hands.
 
She frantically grabbed at the pummel trying to keep her seat.

She saw him reach up to her as if in slow motion.
 
Knowing that her life depended on her actions, Clarissa kicked free of the stirrup and kicked the man in the chest.
 
He bent over to catch his breath and she slid off the other side, running into the trees on the other side of the road.
 
They were less dense, but hopefully they would provide enough shelter for her to hide.

Clarissa had only taken a few steps when she heard the crunching of dead leaves and snapping of twigs behind her with every step the man took.
 
Already drained of energy, Clarissa continued to run on her fast depleting stock of adrenaline.
 
Her left leg dragged behind her slightly, causing her gait to be awkward.
 
She tripped on the trunk of a small tree that had fallen and went flying, landing on her belly.
 

Steely hands grabbed her upper arms and rolled her over.
 
Clarissa kicked and screamed, trying to scratch at the man when he let go of one arm to silence her by covering her mouth.

“Shut up,” the man growled.
 
In response, she bit down on his hand, hard.
 
He followed with an oath she had never in her life heard before.
 
“Damn you, Clare, would you stop before you do permanent injury to one of us?”

Her fighting slowed as she realized the voice sounded very familiar, and that he knew her name.
 
“Justin?”

“Thank, goodness,” he sat back on his heels, rubbing his palm against his thigh.

“Do you mind letting go of me?” she asked, her tone cold and impersonal.

“I don’t think so.
 
Damn, but you stink,” he said as a breeze picked up.

“Let me go and I’ll leave so you no longer have to smell me.”

“No.
 
I don’t care at this point if you smell like rotting food.
 
You are not leaving my sight.”
 
He stood and hauled her to her feet beside him.
 
“What if I had been the person that shot at you that day?”

“Where do you think you’re taking me?” she demanded to know, avoiding his question. He pulled her struggling form back towards the road.
 
“I will not return to your parents’ house.”

“I wouldn’t take you back there.”

“Oh.
 
Where are we going?”

“London.”

“Oh.”

“You sound disappointed.
 
Isn’t that where you wanted to go?”

“Yes,” she raised her chin a notch, the moonlight making her hair sparkle.

“You know, you merely had to ask me.
 
You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
 
She remained silent and attempted once more to free her arm from his grip.
 
“I already told you, you are not leaving my sight.”

“I will not run.”

“How can I trust you?
 
You never stay where you have been directed.
 
I believe this is the second time you have run off on your own.”
 
Not waiting for a response, he put her on his horse before tying the mare to his.
 
Then he climbed up behind her.
 
“Did you roll around in horse shit?” he asked before nudging the horses into a canter.
 
She refused to answer, but then he did not expect one.

***

Hours later, Clarissa’s body ached from the continuous bouncing of the horse’s gait.
 
Her head had begun to throb ages ago and now felt like a tiny demon had taken up hammering inside her brain.
 
Clarissa’s stomach roiled with the pounding in her head.
 
Instead of complaining, she just firmed her lips and tried to make her mind go blank.

Justin could feel Clarissa’s body stiffening against his.
 
Anger still pounded through him at her asinine move.
 
What in the hell had she thought she was doing?
 
Did she really hate him that much?
 
He had hoped he could convince her to love him, but now he didn’t know if there was any hope of that, and he refused to lock her into a marriage where she would grow to hate him even more than she already did.

He pulled off the road and onto a winding path.
 
Clarissa shivered in his arms as the temperature began to drop.
 
He could feel the goose flesh rise on her arms, yet she did not complain.
 
Justin wanted to comfort her, but knew she would only reject his efforts, so he just continued the grueling pace.
 
He watched as the hunting lodge’s silhouette could be seen as they rounded a bend.
 
It was not grand like the lodges in England, but it was comfortable and would protect them from the storm that he could feel moving in.

“Where are we?” she questioned him suspiciously.

“My family’s hunting lodge.”

“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” she said worriedly, shivering.

Justin pulled the horse to a stop and got down before dragging her down after him.

“I don’t really care what you think at this moment.
 
If you had thought before you left the house, neither one of us would be out here.
 
A storm is fast approaching, and by morning, snow will be covering the ground.
 
I will hear no more of what you think, do you understand?”
 
He ignored the mutinous look he gave her.
 

“This time of year?”

“We typically still get snow in late spring,” he answered.
 
“Now, go inside while I put the horses away and bring in some water.
 
If you think you can manage it, you might want to start a fire, otherwise you’ll have to wait for me.”

Clarissa turned to walk up the stairs when she heard Justin pointedly clearing his throat behind her.

“Did you forget another edict, my lord?” she asked tartly.

“You will not be able to get in without this,” he said, dangling the key in front of her.
 
He watched as she walked up to him and snatched the key from his grasp.
 

***

Clarissa slammed the door shut behind her and leaned against it, letting her breath come out raggedly.
 
Her legs felt limp, her body ached along with her head.
 
She wanted to sit down and cry, but instead stiffened her resolve.
 
The fireplace taunted her from across the room.
 
Determinedly she walked over there and began working on it.

After fighting with the flint for what seemed like hours, but was truly only minutes, she almost yelled with joy when a spark flew at the tinder.
 
She quickly added several more sparks before gently blowing on the fire as she had watched the footmen and maids do hundreds of times.
 
After taking a deep breath and blowing gently, a fire finally exploded to life.
 
Clarissa quickly added more twigs and then a log to the growing fire.
 
She scooted closer and held her hands up, letting the blaze fight the chill that had taken control of her body.

The wind began to pick up, howling around the house.
 
Smoke began filtering into the room.
 
The acrid smell burned Clarissa’s eyes, and made her cough violently.
 
She ran across the room and tried to open several windows, but they were stuck shut.
 
Clarissa ran to the door and jerked it open, stepping outside.
 
She ran into a warm, muscular body just as a coughing spasm overtook her.

“What the hell is going on?”
 
She couldn’t answer him as she tried to catch her breath.
 
Justin ran into the lodge and she heard him yell, “You didn’t open the flue.”
 

“What?”

“It lets the smoke out while keeping the warm air inside.”