To Love Again (40 page)

“The priests have become his greatest confidants. They exhort him to greater prayer, and to almsgiving that God will give us a son, but unless my husband binds his body to mine again, there will be no child. I even brought Casia, the courtesan my brother favors, to the palace in secret to teach me her seductive wiles. I wanted to use them to entice my husband, but alas, it was to no avail!” the empress said, her blue eyes filling with tears. “Now there is a movement afoot among those same priests who influence my husband to put me away in a convent for the remainder of my days, that Leo might take a new, young wife who will, the priests assure Leo, give him the son I cannot.

“I am not a girl any longer, my lord,” Verina said with dignity, “but I am yet capable of bearing a child given the opportunity to do so. These wicked clerics really seek to give my husband a wife who will be in their debt, and who will spy for them!”

“What is it exactly that you want me to do?” Aspar asked her.

“Leo both fears and respects you, my lord,” the empress said. “The respect stems from his many long years in your service, and the fear stems from the fact you put him in his high place. He sometimes wonders if you might not be capable of also removing him from that place. He has quickly grown fond of his position.

“The priests fill his ears with cruel words about you, Flavius Aspar,” Verina continued. “They tell him you wish to rule through him, and that if you find you cannot, you will overthrow him and take the throne for yourself.”

“I do not wish to be emperor,” Aspar said. “In his rational moments Leo must know that. Had I wanted the imperial throne, it would have been mine. I had but to renounce my Arian beliefs for more Orthodox practices, and enough of the clergy would have supported me so that the imperial crown would have rested on my head.”

“I realize that, my lord, which is why I have come to you. Your motives are honest, and your loyalty is to Byzantium alone, not to any faction or single man. Help me to retain my place at my husband’s side despite the wickedness of those who surround him. If you aid and protect me against my enemies, I will see to it that Leo permits your marriage to Cailin Drusus.”

Aspar pretended to consider her offer, although he had already decided to help her. The emperor owed Flavius Aspar his position. If his wife was similarly bound to him, so much the better. His own position would be that much stronger. It was very unlikely that Leo would ever father another child on any woman. He had not the stomach for it. He preferred fasting and prayer to the hot, sweaty tangle of passion. Aspar suspected the emperor would actually be secretly delighted to be relieved of such a duty. Verina had always been a loyal wife to him. He would prefer the old and the familiar to anything new, and nubile.

No
, Aspar thought.
I do not want to be emperor: I want my son to be emperor
. With both Leo and Verina in his debt, he would have the power to foster a betrothal between his younger son, Patricius, and the youngest imperial princess, Ariadne, in a few years’ time. First the marriage, and then afterward Leo would be convinced to name Patricius his heir.

“I will champion your cause, lady,” Aspar finally told the empress, who sagged, visibly relieved, against his arm. “These priests overstep their authority. Their only duty is to the emperor’s spiritual welfare. I will personally register my distress at their actions to the patriarch. Once that is done, I know we can trust that he will put an end to the matter. I am truly shocked those chosen to guide Leo spiritually would so abuse their position. It must not be allowed to continue. You were quite right to come to me for help, lady.”

Secure now that her cause was just, Verina straightened herself proudly and said, “You will not find me ungrateful, my lord. It will take a little time, you know, but I will see that you and Cailin Drusus are allowed to formalize your relationship
within the church. You have my word on it, and you know that word is good.”

“I thank you, lady,” Aspar said quietly.

“No,” she responded, “it is I who must thank you, Flavius Aspar. I could only wish Byzantium had more men like you in its service.”

When the empress and her party had departed to return to Constantinople, Aspar walked with Cailin in the gardens, where there was no chance of them being overheard. Quietly he explained to her exactly what it was Verina had sought from him, and how he had agreed to help the empress in exchange for her aid in the matter of their marriage. “You must force yourself to please Father Michael so he will baptize you,” Aspar told her. “When the moment comes that the decision is made in our favor, I want no impediment to our marriage. A baptized Orthodox wife can only reflect favorably upon me. There is more at stake than you can know right now, my love.”

She did not ask him what it was. Cailin knew that Aspar would share that with her when the time was right. “Very well,” she agreed, “I will stop asking difficult questions of Father Michael, and meekly accept all he says with the humility a good Christian woman should possess. If I think the rules and regulations imposed by the church are silly, I must admit to liking the words of this Jesus of Nazareth. They alone make sense to me, even if the rest of it doesn’t.” She slipped her arms about his neck and pressed her body close to his. “I want to be your wife, Flavius Aspar. I want your children, and I want to walk the streets of Constantinople proudly, the envy of all because I am yours.”

They walked together through the gardens and down to the beach, where they removed their garments. They strolled hand in hand into the warm sea. He had just recently taught her to swim, and Cailin loved the freedom of the water. Laughing, she teased him and frolicked in the waves until finally he caught her. Pulling her back up onto the beach, he made passionate love to her upon the very shore where he had first revived her passion. Her cries of pleasure at his possession
of her mingled with the mewling cries of the gulls soaring above them. His own cries were drowned by the gentle pounding of the surf on the sand. Afterward they lay sated and contented, the bright sun drying their bodies.

Cailin’s twentieth birthday had passed. The summer spun itself out in a succession of long, sunny days, and hot passionate nights. She had never imagined a man could be so virile, particularly a man of his age, and yet his desire for her never ceased.

Basilicus came quite regularly with Casia to visit, and when Aspar teased his friend about his sudden liking for the country, Basilicus claimed fussily, “The city is a cesspit in this heat, and I hear rumors of plague. Besides, you have more than enough room for us, and should not keep to yourselves so much.” Basilicus also secretly brought them word from Verina.

Aspar had indeed gone directly to the patriarch and expressed his great displeasure at any plan to set the empress aside simply over the matter of a male heir. Another wife would do no good, Aspar bluntly pointed out to Byzantium’s chief cleric. The fault lay with Leo, who preferred an uncomplicated, ascetic existence now, which allowed him to rule more wisely than if he were overburdened with carnal matters. There were plenty of men fit to follow Leo, but a wise and godly emperor was a rare blessing upon Byzantium. The empress, Aspar told the patriarch, understood this. She sought to protect her husband from disturbing influences. She was both virtuous and devotedly loyal. To disturb her peace of mind was, Aspar forcefully noted, wicked, unjust, and ungodly.

Basilicus reported that the priests surrounding the emperor had been removed and reassigned to distant places. New priests took their place, and seemed to devote themselves only to the emperor’s spiritual life. The empress was both relieved and grateful to have this sword of Damocles removed from over her beautiful blond head. She sent word, through her brother, that she would keep her promise. She
had already begun her campaign to influence Leo more favorably in the matter of a marriage between the empire’s First Patrician and Cailin Drusus, a young patrician widow from Britain who was soon to be baptized into the Orthodox Christian faith.

In early autumn Aspar was sent to Adrianople, where the governor of the city was having difficulties with two rival factions that threatened anarchy within the city. One of the factions was made up of Orthodox Christians and the other of Arian Christians. Since Aspar, an Arian who served an Orthodox ruler, had the ability to move easily between these two religious worlds, he was the logical choice to make peace. Men of all faiths respected Flavius Aspar.

“I wish I could take you with me,” he told Cailin the night before his departure, “but I must be able to move swiftly and without impediment at all times in a matter like this. These fanatics will quarrel with one another over the most foolish things, but unless their anger is stayed, they cause terrible destruction and lives are lost.”

“I would be a weakness to you,” she said. “Without me you are able to act decisively, and you may have to, my lord. To kill and wreak havoc over a point of religion is pure madness, but it happens far too often.”

“You will be such a perfect wife for me,” he said admiringly.

“Why?” she teased him. “Because I share your passion, or because I do not complain when you must be away from me?”

“Both,” he said with a smile. “You have an inborn skill for understanding people. You know the fine line I must walk between those fanatical factions in Adrianople, and you do not distract me from my duty. Those who have opposed our marriage will soon see that they were wrong, and that Cailin Drusus is the only wife for Aspar.”

“I do not distract you?”
She pretended to be offended, and mounting him suddenly, glared down into his handsome face. Her pointed little tongue snaked over her lips suggestively, slowly. Her eyes darkened with her passion, and cupping
her breasts in her hands, she teased her own nipples erect. “Can I not distract you just the tiniest bit, my lord?”

He watched her through slitted eyes as she played, a faint smile upon her lips. He knew her certainty of his love was what made her bold, and it was surely to his benefit. She was so young and so very beautiful, he thought, lazily running both his flattened palms up her torso. Sometimes when he looked at her, he wondered if when he became old she would love him still, and fear gnawed at his vitals. Then she would smile at him and kiss him sweetly and, reassured, he knew she would always love him, for it was her nature to be honest and loyal. His fingers clamped about her waist and he lifted her up slightly, allowing his engorged organ to raise itself up.

“You distract me mightily, my love,” he said softly, lowering her slowly, encasing himself fully within the warm sweetness of her hot, wet sheath. Then pulling her forward almost roughly, he kissed her deeply, sensuously, his mouth soft yet firm against hers, turning her quickly over onto her back so that he now held the ascendant position. “And you are hereby sentenced to spend the remainder of your days distracting me, Cailin,” he growled lovingly in her ear as he plunged with slow deliberation in and out of her eager body. “I adore you, my love, and soon you will be mine for all eternity! My wife! My very life! The sweet, bright half of my dark, dark soul!”

“I love you, Flavius Aspar,” she told him, half sobbing, and then Cailin was lost again in the very special world he seemed to be able to weave about her now. She was warm and cold at the same time. Her heart both raced and soared with his loving. But if her place was in his heart, and in his arms, then why was she afraid? Then, her crisis overwhelming her, Cailin cried out with pleasure, and her fears were quickly forgotten in the security and the safety of his loving arms. Happily she snuggled against him and fell asleep.

When she awoke in the morning, he was already gone. Nellwyn brought her a tray with newly made yogurt, ripe apricots, and fresh bread with a little pot of honey. “Master Arcadius asks if you will pose for him today. He says he is almost
finished, and can be gone by week’s end if you will but cooperate. I think he is anxious to return to Constantinople. The summer is over. He talks about the autumn games.”

“Tell him I will be there in an hour,” Cailin told her servant. “I want the statue completed, and mounted upon its pedestal in the garden before my lord returns. It will be my wedding surprise for him.”

“I never saw anything like it before,” Nellwyn admitted. “It’s so beautiful, lady. I thought only the gods were portrayed so.”

“The statue represents Venus, the old Goddess of Love,” Cailin explained. “I have simply posed in place of the goddess for Arcadius.”

Cailin ate, and then having bathed, joined the sculptor in his studio. Nellwyn in attendance, she removed her tunica and took her position. He worked for a time, his eye moving between the smaller clay statue he had originally fashioned from her pose and Cailin herself. When he saw she was growing tired, he stopped, and Cailin put on her tunica before they went to sit outside in the sunshine and drink sweet, freshly squeezed orange juice, and nibble upon sesame cakes that Zeno brought them.

“I shall miss your company,” Cailin told Arcadius. “I enjoy all your wicked gossip, and have learned much of those with whom I will have to associate when I am married to Aspar.”

“Your life will not be easy,” he answered her frankly. “Those at the court with whom you should associate will avoid you until they know you, and even when they know your true worth, some will continue to shun you, Cailin Drusus. Only those of whom you should be wary will be eager to cultivate your friendship due to the influence you have with Aspar, or because they hope to seduce you as they have so many others. Your virtue, in light of the gossip surrounding you, will truly madden them.”

“What a paradox you Byzantines are,” Cailin said. “You espouse a religion that preaches goodness, and yet there is so
much evil among you. I do not really understand your people at all.”

“Our society is simple,” Arcadius told her. “The rich desire power, and more riches. These things make them feel invincible, and so they behave as other people would not dare to behave. They are crueler, and more carnal, and because their faith promises them forgiveness if they will but repent, they do so every now and then, ridding themselves of their past sins so they may go and sin some more.