To Kill the Duke (36 page)

It was this sense of justice that had led Alexei to help a guy in the parking lot at
The Coconut Grove
who just happened to be a gangster.

Stompanato walked slowly to the far back of
The Coconut Grove’s
back room. Alexei and Ivan also walked slowly as they eyed everything around them.

There were cardboard boxes of unopened liquor stacked against one wall. Another wall had crates full of items that neither Alexei nor Ivan could make out. As they walked to where Stompanato was motioning for them to hurry up to, Ivan was amazed at the large size of the room because from the outside the tavern didn’t look that big.

“You of all people should know about judging a book by its cover,” Alexei said to Ivan when they were driving back to
Seven Zeros
. “Who would have thought way back when in Russia that the little projectionist would be here in Hollywood, America helping to assassinate John Wayne.”

Ivan nodded in agreement. He had to admit that he never saw his metamorphism coming, even if someone would have predicted it to him when he was just about to start the film projector way back when.

Stompanato was waiting by a big fish tank. The water was rather green and murky.

“What’s all this about Johnny?” Alexei asked.

“My pet,” replied Johnny Stomp.

“You keep a fish as a pet?” Alexei asked.

“Not just any fish. A piranha,” Johnny said with a smile.

“I thought they were illegal to own in California?” Alexei said.

Hey, I know what a piranha is!
Ivan mused.

“I am impressed that you know that. But I don’t worry about things like what is legal and what is illegal,” Stompanato said with a grin. “Know why?”

Both Alexei and Ivan shook their heads no.

“First off, I don’t give a dead rat’s asshole about the law. And second, the two guys I was playing cards with before you came in were two of the biggest detectives on the force.”

“I like that,” Alexei said.

“Me, too,” chipped in Ivan.

“That makes three of us,” Stompanato agreed. “Watch this,” Stompanato said as he went to a table and picked up an oversized glass vase.

The vase held goldfish in it. Some were little and darted in the water. Others were big and fat and just stayed in one position. Johnny Stomp poured a bunch of the goldfish into his piranha tank and put the vase back where he had picked it up.

“Watch,” he said with a grin.

Alexei and Ivan watched the piranha eat all the big goldfish rather quickly. Then, the piranha took a few more minutes chasing down the little goldfish and retired to the murkiness of the tank.

“Lunch time is over,” Stompanato said as he reached down and picked up a long metal handle that had a little fish net at the end.

He swirled the net around and he found what he was looking for. “Take a look at these,” he said to Alexei and Ivan.

They both looked into the net, expecting to see half eaten goldfish; but they saw a few mangled human fingers that were in various states of decomposing.

“So,” Alexei said.

“That’s what’s left of the last guy who double crossed me. Let’s go to my private office and discuss the reason why you both are here,” he said calmly.

Ivan got the message that Johnny Stomp was someone you don’t mess with.
Someone who would mutter toughski shitski as he fed you to a fish
,” he thought.
I wonder if Alex has had a premonition about this guy.

Alexei got the message that he would have to kill Stompanato before Stompanato could even think of planning to kill them — if it came to that.

Stompanato’s private office wasn’t much of an office.

“More like a closet,” Ivan said to Alexei later.

“More like an apartment, if we were back in Russia,” Alexei said.

The office had five folding chairs set in a semi-circle; there was a waste basket and a few bottles of various liquors scattered around the chairs. Alexei noticed that there were no cups.

Johnny Stomp sat down and grabbed the bottle next to his chair and took a swig. He motioned to his guest to do the same.

“What do you think?” Johnny said to Ivan.

Up to this point, Ivan had been doing as he was told and playing second banana to Alexei. Now he had to go first.

“It’s the most unusual office I have ever seen,” Ivan said.

“Of course it is. It’s mine!” Stompanato yelled. “Everything is so alike in this town it makes me puke. That’s why I’m me and that is why you two guys are here.”

“We need to get access to John Wayne,” Alexei said. “You offer us a way.”

“Why not approach his agent?” quizzed Stompanato.

“We tried. No go. If we want to break out of making movies that are considered grade-F pictures, we need a big star. We have the perfect picture for him,” Alexei said.

“A great western,” Ivan added.

“So, like me, you want to try something different. Okay, but it will cost you,” Stompanato said.

“We will pay,” Alexei said.”

“And pay well. What’s your plan?” Johnny Stomp asked them.

Alexei nodded to Ivan that he would take it from here. Ivan nodded back.

“We know that you and Lana Turner are close. Lana and Wayne starred in a movie and we feel she could get us close to Wayne, but in a very different manner.”

“Different than your typical Hollywood lunch? Different than your typical Hollywood casting couch? Different than a deal being made on the golf course?” Stompanato asked rapid fire.

Both Alexei and Ivan nodded.

Johnny Stomp took a swig from the bottle and passed it around. The others drank with him. “Okay, let it rip… and I’ll tell you my price.”

“It is time for
Seven Zeros
to make a quality picture,” Alexei began.

“A big-time quality picture,” Ivan interrupted, knowing that Alexei wouldn’t mind.

“So far, we have produced and distributed four movies. The first three not only lost money, they were never noticed by anyone in the press, let alone finding an audience,” Alexei said.

“What type of movies were they?” Stompananto asked.

“Two movies were set in the desert with heroic French Foreign Legion soldiers fighting marauding Arabs, with a lot of girls in harem outfits running around screaming. Had beautiful scenery, with horses and camels in both of them, too. The other loser was a movie on frogmen,” Ivan said proudly.

“Oh, sand-and-tits movies,” Johnny said. “I like those types of flicks. Wonder why I never saw yours? Americans don’t like frogs, that’s probably why that one failed.”

“Thanks Johnny,” Alexei said sarcastically.

“Well, this is a tough town when it comes to being successful, which you guys want to be or you wouldn’t have come to see me,” Johnny Stomp said. “You said your third picture ‘made it.’ Why was that?”

“Not a ‘sand-and-tits’ picture,” Ivan said.

“What type of movie?” Stompanato asked them.

“A teenage movie,” Alexei said.

“You mean one of those teenage monster movies. Good idea to capitalize on that craze.” Johnny said.

“Not exactly a monster movie,” Alexei said.

“What was the name of it?” Johnny Stomp said.

Ivan gulped and told him. “It was called
I Was a Teenage Communist
.”

“Sounds like a horror movie to me!” Stompanato said with a cackle.

“It was,” Alexei said under his breath.

“Got some great reviews
and
realized a modest profit,” Ivan bragged.
A real toughski-shitski moment for us when it came out
, he thought.

“Reviews are not something that interests me,” Johnny said.

“Why not? A good review drives sales. Sometimes a bad review does, too,” Ivan said.

“In my line of business, you stay out of the papers… no matter what,” Johnny Stomp said firmly.

“Talking about these three movies pains us,” Alexei said. “It is why we have a degree of interest in your services.”

“So you want to pay me big money to have Lana invite Duke Wayne to our house. You guys will be there and talk him into making a movie with you,” guessed Stompananto.

“Not exactly,” Alexei said. “Here is
our
plan. First of all, Wayne would walk out of Lana’s house if he came to dinner and saw that two producers who haven’t done much were there. He would know what was up and it would hurt his relationship with Lana, you and us. My partner Ivan and I have come up with something different, which is what is going to help us get Wayne in our big-budget western.”

“Makes sense. Go on,” urged Stompanato.

“Remember you told me that Wayne loves to throw parties and that once and a while the party goers get all dressed up and play practical jokes on Wayne’s friends?” Alexei asked Johnny Stomp.

“Well, that’s what Lana has told me,” Johnny said.

“That’s
our
plan! Lana finds out when the next such party is planned. She tells you, and we arrange to meet Wayne and his friends in a way that will totally awe him,” Alexei said.

Stompanato took the bottle and walked around the room saying nothing and showing no emotion. He took a swig from the bottle and handed it to Ivan, who did the same. Ivan handed the bottle to Alexei who repeated the process.

“I like it!” yelled Stompanato. “It’s so crazy, it will probably work. Hollywood has a knack for making something out of insane ideas. Your plan is definitely that.”

“We have a deal then?” Ivan asked Johnny Stomp.

“No. I haven’t told you
my
terms.”

Alexei and Ivan said nothing. They had learned from prior negotiations during their first three movies that he who gives the number first — loses in the negotiating game.

“I want to be in the movie business gentlemen,” Johnny Stomp announced.

“Well you are, with Lana Turner as your girlfriend,” Ivan stated.

“Why would you want to go into the movie business, when it’s obvious to me that your present occupation is successful?” Alexei asked Johnny Stomp.

“My present stuff is very rewarding. It’s my future that I’m worried about,” Johnny replied.

Both Ivan and Alexei looked at each other. They didn’t know how to answer that statement.

“I’m also worried about Lana’s future,” Stompanato said as he took another swig from the bottle. He offered it to Alexei and Ivan, and they both waved it off. Stompanato took another belt from the bottle.

“I didn’t know that big stars like Lana Turner
ever
worried about anything,” Ivan said.

“She’s a great actress. You’re obviously well-to-do. What are you worried about?” Alexei asked Johnny Stomp.

“Being an old mobster is a lot like being an old Hollywood actress,” Stompanato said with a chuckle. “The deals just stop dead faster than John Wayne kills Indians in his movies. No one wants old actresses, when they can get younger and better looking ones for less money. No one wants an old leg-breaker around, who isn’t as fast or strong as the younger ones. Even worse, is that neither Lana nor I can compete with the risk factor.”

“The risk factor?” both Ivan and Alexei asked at the same time.

“The younger actresses will take more ‘risks.’ Do more than the usual sexual favors. Show more flesh in a movie. The younger leg-breakers will pop someone in broad daylight. Try to take down someone who they have no business trying to take down in order to make a reputation. Lana has bumped into so many actresses she came up with, and they do nothing but wait by the phone that never rings. They get so despondent they just hide in their homes, and when they do go out all they do is whine about the younger actresses who took their places. Older men in my profession who
are still alive start hanging out at the racetracks and bookie joints hoping to win a few bets to put food on the table. The lucky ones are indeed lucky if they get hired to be a body guard for one of those young stars who have replaced the older stars. How’s that for coming full circle? Lana and I don’t want to be hanging around waiting for the phone to ring… knowing it never will.”

“That’s depressing. Think I’ll have a belt from that bottle,” Alexei said as he thought
what happens to Cold War agents when they retire?