To Hell and Back (15 page)

As I screamed, Carson woke me, speaking gentle words in my ear as I shook violently in his arms, sweating and crying for who knows how long.  He told me about the future we would build together, told me he would protect me with every breath in his body, and told me Hank would never lay a hand on me again.  He assured me I was safe and reminded me that nothing that had happened to me was my fault.  I finally got back to sleep and, in the morning, the paralyzing fear brought on by the nightmare faded away as the sun brought new light to the day.

I keep reminding myself that I am a strong person, a good person.  That whatever my life used to be was beyond my control.  I control my life now, my decisions, and I share this amazing new life with a man who supports me and loves me unconditionally.  I couldn’t ask for more.

***

There is something different in the air today.  I can feel it the minute I start walking toward the warehouse.  Carson had an early meeting with the director this morning, so he’s been gone since just after the sun came up.  Adam and Kate are coming in a little later than usual today, so I lounged in bed with my new Kindle for a while before heading over. 

A couple of the set guys are taking a coffee break near the hair and makeup trailer.  It’s a pretty popular spot for most of the male crew members.  I think Daisy’s ass and Sara’s cleavage have a lot to do with that. 

I decide to stop in and say hi to my voluptuous friends since I still have some time on my hands.  I can hear bits and pieces of the guys’ conversation as I go by.  I hear something like, “She might be sexy as fuck, and I’m not saying I wouldn’t tap that in a heartbeat, but I’ve heard she’s a real bitch.”

Another guy laughs, saying, “So what?  It’s not like I’d actually want to
talk
to her. Lips like that? I can think of other uses.”  The guys high-five and leave me rolling my eyes as I open the trailer door and step in. 

“Hey, sweetie! Late morning for you?” Daisy calls as she continues teasing the hair of an older woman I’ve seen around but have never met.

“Coming in for a makeover?” Sara asks, looking up from the latest Cosmo. “Not that you need one, dammit, but I’m still itching to get my brushes on that face of yours!”

I decline with a laugh and ask, “What’s going on around here today?  Something seems different and the guys out front want to ‘tap’ some ‘sexy bitch’.”

“You haven’t heard?” Daisy asks dramatically. “Oh, I guess you wouldn’t have if you’re just getting here. 
Madeline Young
is coming to the set today.  She’ll be here about a week.  The director and producer have been trying to get her to sign on for a while, but she kept saying she didn’t want to do an indie film.  They were in serious talks with someone else when suddenly her manager let Tom know she had finally agreed to do it.”

“Yeah, the timing of it is just perfect, don’t you think,” Sara’s words drip with sarcasm.  The look between the two women tells me they’re in agreement, I just don’t know what they’re agreeing on.

“I’m not sure what you mean” I say cautiously, looking back and forth between the pair of them. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Daisy smiles at me. “You’re the worst kept secret out there right now.”

“Me? What does this have to do with me?” I’m clueless here, suddenly not really sure what we’re talking about. “We’re still talking about Madeline, right?”

Another knowing look passes between my new friends and I get the feeling I am the only one around here who doesn’t know what’s going on. 

“Brie,” Sara says softly, “it’s common knowledge, well, everywhere, that Madeline has wanted Carson for herself for a long time. Why she didn’t jump at the chance to do this film with him, I’m not sure, but the minute word got out that Carson had a live-in girlfriend on set with him, Tom got that phone call. The tabloids may not have gotten ahold of this story just yet, but people still talk.”

“So Madeline is coming here to be with Carson?” I feel myself pale at the thought.  I know he loves me, but she’s beautiful and famous and his equal.  There is always a part of me that can’t quite believe he’s with me, that he wants
me
. The same part of me that’s afraid he will eventually realize how much of a burden I really am.

“Well, not exactly, Brie. Being with Carson implies that he has any desire to be around her. From what I can see, he only has eyes for you.” Daisy smiles at me and commences a series of kissing noises that turn my face from pale to bright pink.

“Agreed,” Sara chimes in.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Carson. 

C: Need to talk. U on set?

I look at the clock, realizing I’ve used up every bit of the extra time I had and I’m about to be late.  “I have to get to the warehouse now, but thanks for the info.” I smile at the two of them, hoping I look a lot calmer than I’m actually feeling.

“Don’t worry about that diva, Brie,” Daisy says as she gives me a wave.

“We’ll see you soon.” Sara hugs me with what I’m sure is supposed to be a reassuring smile.  I’m not confident that this is a battle I can win, so I just say a prayer it doesn’t come to that as I hurry to the small office at the back of the warehouse, texting Carson on the way.

B: Just got here.  Talk at lunch? :)

He replies right away, so I know he’s been waiting for my answer.

C: Sounds good. Love you.

B: Love you, too.

Putting my phone back in my pocket, I walk into the office where Adam and Kate are already waiting for me.  I push Madeline Young to the back of my mind and get to work.

***

Carson

Dammit! Madeline Young?
 
I knew Tom wanted Madeline for this part in the film; the part of my character’s ill-fated fiancée. I threw out the names of every age-appropriate actress I could think of, but Tom insisted that Madeline was perfect for this.  It’s a small part, though, the character is killed off early on, and Madeline resisted taking it, saying it was “beneath” her.  Tom just wouldn’t give up hope, and pushed back the scenes he needed her for as far as possible.  Now, with Brie on set, and the gossip mill hard at work, Madeline can’t resist checking out the competition. Even before I met Brie, I made it clear to Madeline that I wasn’t interested in her personally. I thought she finally understood and now that my angel has come into my life, no one else holds a candle to her.  She has a light within her that even her father couldn’t dampen, and the way she has been coming into her own lately is exactly what I’ve wished for her.  Madeline, on the other hand, is jaded, manipulative and drinks entirely too much. 

Brielle knows I love her, but the years of being told she’s worthless have taken their toll.  I know she thinks she doesn’t deserve me, isn’t the “right” kind of girl for me, but I have done everything I can think of to make her secure in our relationship.  I have the worst kind of feeling inside knowing that Madeline is coming.  She has the kind of bite that can make a grown man cry and I don’t want her anywhere near the girl I love.

It’s time to call the man who is my father, my manager, and a giant pain in my ass.  I have a feeling he’s partially to blame for her sudden change of heart. He has been trying to get us together for years. 

I press the screen to call the seldom-used number and reach his voicemail. “
This is Brian Malone
.  If you would like to
speak with me, please hang up and dial (818) 555-1967 to schedule an appointment.
  Current c
lients may leave messages after the tone;
all other messages will be deleted.”   

What
an egotistical prick. 
Good thing I’m a client. That’s far more important than being his son. God forbid the man actually answers the phone or speaks to another human being without an appointment.  I hear the tone and say, “Dad. We need to talk about Madeline. Call me. Soon.” He’s not the only one who can get straight to the point. Nothing good can come from this. Not a damn thing.

Brielle

Hurricane Madeline is in full force by mid-day.  She has made it clear that none of her lines are right, the costumes need to be re-designed, and the tuna salad needs to disappear from the menu before we break for lunch.  Apparently, she’s much too sensitive to smells to work with anyone who may end up with tuna breath.  Her scenes are scheduled to begin shooting tomorrow, so there is a major time crunch for getting the changes made.

Tom calls a lunch meeting to discuss the script changes with Madeline and the writers, so Kate asks me to sit in and take notes. Even though I’m just sitting here, mouth shut, pen scribbling on my notepad, I feel like there is a neon sign flashing above me.  Madeline has stared at me for most of the meeting, checking me out and wrinkling her nose as though something in the room has an offensive smell.  I’m trying hard not to compare myself to her, but a part of me wishes I had taken Sara up on the offer to give me a makeover this morning. 

Madeline is tall, slender and gorgeous. Her shiny black hair hangs to her waist and her huge brown eyes would be the undoing of most human men. Her porcelain skin is flawless and I start to wonder how long Carson could really hold out if she decides to go after him. I’m pretty sure if you added up everything she is wearing today, it would cost more than the house I grew up in. I’ve never really cared much about money, but it’s disconcerting to have beauty and wealth waved in front of my face like this.  I just keep reminding myself that Carson could have chosen her a long time ago, and, instead, he’s here with me.  He brought me here to be a part of his life; he’s already made his choice.

I somehow get through the rest of the meeting and the room clears as I take a second to steady myself.  I put the pen and notebook back in my bag and pull out my phone.  There is a new text from Carson – I completely forgot to tell him I couldn’t talk at lunch after all.  I begin typing my answer as I exit the room and I almost drop the phone when Madeline steps out in front of me. 

“Brianna, is it?” She sneers at me. “I’d like to talk to you.”

“Um, it’s Brielle, actually, and –“

“Whatever. Listen, I know you’re staying with Carson. You’re his flavor of the month or whatever. I want you to know I think that it’s cute. I didn’t really think he was the type to enjoy slumming it, but, if it has kept him happy, then I can’t be too upset. It was my mistake to leave him alone this long. I guess I went a little crazy there for a while. I’m sure whatever you two have going on has been fun, and I’ve allowed it this long, but things will have to change now that I’m back in his life.”

She stops talking to take a drink from her disposable coffee cup, and the smell of alcohol overwhelms me for a moment.  I shake my head to clear it, the familiar scent trying to take me away to places I’d rather not visit ever again.  I remember Carson mentioning an alcohol problem; her secret drinking in the middle of the day tells me nothing has changed.  I don’t get a chance to think too much about it before she starts talking again.

“So, I can expect you to be out of his trailer by tonight, right?  I’m sure he’s already mentioned it.  We’ll be together all the time, going over our scenes and reconnecting personally, so we might as well be living together while I’m here.  I’m already thinking I may just stay until the movie wraps, anyway. A week just isn’t enough time to rekindle our love.  Or to spend
making
love,” she giggles at me.

She may be smiling, but the venom is dripping from her lips as she speaks.  My mind is whirling.  Carson told me that he and Madeline had never slept together.  Is it possible he just didn’t want me to know?  Is this really supposed to be a temporary fling while he waits for her to come around? I don’t want to believe a word she says, but she seems so sure. Carson hasn’t said anything about wanting me out, and I can’t believe he wouldn’t want to say something first if there was any truth to this. I stiffen for a moment and the blood drains from my face as I remember his text about wanting to talk to me.

“Oh, Brianna, I’m so sorry.  I see he hasn’t mentioned this yet.  Well, I guess it doesn’t matter who tells you, as long as you’re out by the time we’re ready to go home tonight.”

I’m having trouble forming the words; I want to respond, but my mouth won’t cooperate.  Anger starts to build up inside me as she gives me a look of pity. “Madeline,” I begin.

“I think you should probably call me Ms. Young,” she sniffs.  “You’re just an assistant around here, I’m a star.  There is a pecking order to these things, and I’m
way
above you.”

That’s about all I can take of this. Mousy, frightened Brielle has had time to learn a little bit about confidence and self-worth, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this uppity bitch bring me down. Maybe some or all of what she says is true, maybe it isn’t, but I’m not doing a damn thing about any of it until I talk to Carson.

“Well, excuse me,
Ms. Young,
” I try again, my tongue finally working, my voice dripping with sarcasm and disdain. “You’re right. Carson hasn’t said a word about any of this to me. When I speak to him, I’m sure we can straighten things out on our own. It’s been lovely talking to you, but, perhaps next time we can have our little chat when you’re sober.”

Her mouth falls open; she clearly didn’t expect me to do anything but run away crying.  Instead, I walk away from her with my head held high. It isn’t until I’ve reached the women’s room and locked myself in a stall that the tears come.

It’s probably silly to cry when I don’t know where I really stand in this situation, but I can’t help it. Something about being talked down to and made to feel like nothing, especially with the scent of alcohol in the air, leaves me emotionally exhausted and it’s several minutes before I can make the tears stop.  I send a text to Kate, telling her that I’m headed back to the trailer with a migraine.  I hate lying to her, but the excuse
Madeline Young may have just turned my whole world upside-down
is a little more than I want to explain right now.