To Have and to Hold (21 page)

So, though she cringed with embarrassment, she bore Matthew’s hands pawing at her and willed it to be over quickly. Matthew would have held on to Carmel at the end of the dance but she was having none of it and she swung away from him.

Jane and Sylvia caught up with her before she reached Paul. ‘I should watch that brother of Paul’s, if I were you,’ Jane said. ‘He looks a nasty piece of work.’

‘He is,’ Carmel said with feeling. ‘He gives me the willies, to tell you the truth.’

‘He had his hands all over you,’ Sylvia said.

‘Let’s hope Paul didn’t see that,’ Carmel commented grimly.

However, Paul had been talking to his father at the bar and had noticed nothing amiss. He smiled as he saw Carmel approach and went to meet her. Holding her arm, he led her on to the floor. Carmel took care to keep well away from Matthew after that.

Many hours later, when Paul carried Carmel over the threshold of 17 York Road there was no one to see him do it. Eve and Sister Frances had returned to the convent and Michael and Chris were lodging at Lois’s house to give Paul and Carmel some time on their own as they weren’t going away anywhere.

Paul set Carmel down in the hallway of her new home, slammed the door shut with his foot and said, ‘Come on. Let’s go to bed.’

‘At this time of day?’ Carmel protested.

‘I need the time to show you just how much I love you,’ Paul said. He waved an admonishing finger at Carmel, though he had a large grin on his face as he went on, ‘And another thing, you promised only a short while ago to obey me, and here you are arguing already.’

Catching Paul’s mood, Carmel touched her forelock ‘Yes, sir, no, sir, three bags full, sir.’

‘You cheeky monkey! Wait till I catch up with you,’ Paul cried.

With a shriek, Carmel was up the stairs with Paul pounding after her. He caught up with her at the threshold of their bedroom door and the two staggered
across the floor to collapse on the bed, helpless with laughter.

The laughter abated as Paul gently held Carmel’s face in his hands, looked deeply into her eyes and said, ‘There are not enough words to tell you how much I love you. I would lay down my life for you and consider it an honour. And now I want to show you how much I love you.’

‘Oh, yes, Paul, yes,’ Carmel cried as her insides tinglied with anticipation.

They undressed hurriedly, leaving their clothes in crumpled heaps on the floor, such was their urgency and their need for one another, and then slipped naked between the sheets. Carmel thought wryly of the slinky nightdress that she had bought in preparation for this night, which was still folded in the chest of drawers, and then Paul’s lips were upon hers. She thought for one fleeting minute of Lois’s sister, Sue, and hoped that Paul would be gentle with her, and then she gave herself up to the pleasure of it.

Paul was fully aroused, but knew Carmel was nowhere near ready yet, and he had no wish to frighten her, or hurt her more than he had to. So he gave himself up to bringing pleasure to her. Carmel was giving little gasps of delight as Paul eased her mouth open and began shooting his tongue in and out while he fondled her breasts. When his lips fastened on her nipples and his hands began to slide between her legs, she arched her back and moaned in desire and told Paul, ‘Hurry, for God’s sake.’

However, Paul had no intention of hurrying for anyone’s sake and he went on fondling, caressing and
kissing her until there was not much of Carmel’s body that he hadn’t explored and she was in an agony of desire and felt as if she would die if he didn’t enter her as she was begging him to.

When he did, her first sigh was almost of relief and then she felt the stab of pain and cried out against it, but in a second it was over and the rapturous feeling filled her body as she moved in rhythm with Paul until she felt she had reached the pinnacle of joy and she cried out again and again so that Paul knew he had pleased his young wife, and he smiled.

Each time Carmel and Paul made love was better than the one before, as they each learned how to please the other. Sometime that night they had crept downstairs for tea and toast, which they had taken to bed. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other and Carmel did wonder at one point if you could die from sheer happiness. However, eventually they were both spent and, entwined together, they fell into a deep sleep.

Shafts of sunshine through the gap in the curtains, which Carmel had pulled hurriedly closed the evening before, woke her and looking at the clock she saw it was almost eight. Despite the tea and toast hours before, her stomach growled with emptiness, but she couldn’t eat until after the nine o’clock Mass, when she would take communion. After that, she had arranged to take her mother and Sister Frances to see the city centre while Paul took Michael for a spin on the bike.

‘Why take them into Birmingham on a Sunday?’ Paul had asked when Carmel had told him what she proposed. ‘The shops will be shut.’

‘That’s exactly why,’ Carmel said. ‘Neither Mammy nor Sister Frances has money to spend and you don’t see so much with the streets thronged with people. Admittedly the Bull Ring won’t be the same, but they will get the essence of the rest of the place.’

However, if she didn’t get a move on, she told herself, nothing would be achieved, and she leaned over the bed and kissed Paul awake.

Carmel had been introduced to Father Robertson, one of the priests from the Abbey, the day before. Father Donahue from St Chad’s had said the Mass and married Carmel and Paul, and Father Robertson had assisted him. He was plump both in face and body, and his brown-grey eyes would miss little, Carmel imagined. He had a bald head except for a little fringe of grey decorating the edge of it.

Carmel didn’t much care for him as a person and guessed that Father Donahue was a kinder, friendlier priest altogether, but the Abbey would be their parish from now on and she thought that Father Robertson was probably all right as a priest.

That morning he greeted Carmel and Paul as though he had known them for years.

‘Thank God he didn’t ask us if we’d had a good night’s sleep,’ Paul whispered to Carmel as they hurried home. ‘I wouldn’t have been able to keep my carnal thoughts from showing in my eyes.’

‘Sex-mad, that’s your trouble.’

‘No, darling, Carmel-mad,’ Paul said huskily. ‘It is you driving me wild. What say we forgo breakfast for a bit?’

Suddenly the hunger dropped from Carmel as if it had never been. As soon as they were in the door she led the way upstairs.

Eve saw straight away that whatever happened in the marriage bed had pleased her daughter and she was relieved. She knew the nicest man in the world can turn into a sex-crazed monster in the bed, concerned only with satisfying his own desires, and she was glad it was not that way for her daughter.

Though Letterkenny was no little village, Eve and Sister Frances were stunned by the size of Birmingham and dazzled by the array and variety of shops. They wandered through one street after the other in open-mouthed amazement. Carmel took them to the Bull Ring and they stood and looked around the empty cobbled streets, beside the statue of Nelson, St Martin-in-the-Fields church in front of them.

Carmel tried to explain the busy bustling thoroughfare the Bull Ring was six days a week, when the barrow boys lined the streets in front of the shops, flower sellers were grouped around the statue of Nelson and touts sold things from suitcases with someone keeping a watch for the police. She knew it was hard for the women to imagine and harder still when she started to tell them about the entertainment to be had there on a Saturday night as she led the way up New Street to the Town Hall.

They were impressed by the Town Hall, as she had known they would be, and the Council House. Then Carmel led the way down Colmore Row, past the Grand Hotel, opposite St Philip’s, with the flowerbeds a blaze of colour, and up Bath Row so that they could see St
Chad’s, for they had attended Mass that morning in the chapel in the convent. Then they went down Whittall Street so that they could see the entrance to the nurses’ home where Carmel had lived for four years, before emerging into Steelhouse Lane where they would catch the tram home.

They returned home to a meal that Paul had cooked, and Eve, married to a man who didn’t know how to boil a kettle, was further amazed—and even more so when it turned out to be so delicious. Michael was thrilled with his first trip on a motorbike, which he said was wizard.

‘We went to Sutton Park,’ Paul said, smiling at Michael’s enthusiasm. ‘We’ll all go tomorrow, if you like. You have a few days left before you go back and we intend for you to make the most of them.’

Later, as Eve was shown around the house, she remembered the word her son had used, ‘wizard’, and could have said it herself. The whole house was truly wonderful, magnificent, and Eve, who hadn’t an envious bone in her whole body, was just filled with thankfulness that her daughter had effectively fallen on her feet.

Sister Frances, feeling that Carmel needed time with her family, said she would bide at the convent and did not accompany them when, over the next two days, Carmel and Paul took her mother and Michael first to Sutton Park on the train and the following day to the other side of the city to Cannon Hill Park and the Botanical Gardens. Then they went further on the tram to the Lickey Hills. A fine time was had by all and Carmel knew she would miss her mother and brother when they returned home.

Before he left, Michael confided to Carmel that he was glad to get out of Lois’s house, where her mother held sway and people danced all day to her tune and her word was law.

‘Honest to God, she reminded me of our dad,’ he said. ‘She might not go around thumping people, though I think she’s not averse to the odd slap, but she’d rip a body to bits with her tongue. I tell you, Carmel, it’s a shame to waste two houses between the pair of them.’

‘Poor Lois!’

‘It is “Poor Lois” all right,’ Michael said with feeling, ‘and the sooner she is married and out of it, the better.’

The following Saturday, Carmel and Paul took the tram to Sutton Coldfield to the Royal Hotel to attend Chris and Lois’s reception. It was a very upmarket place and Carmel was awed by the liveried footman, or butler, or whatever he was, who welcomed them at the door, took their outdoor things and directed them to the room where the function was being held.

Looking across the foyer, Carmel could see Chris and Lois in the doorway, greeting guests, most of whom had followed them down from the church. The newlyweds were particularly delighted to see Paul and Carmel, who hadn’t been allowed to attend the service.

‘Lois, you look truly radiant and very beautiful,’ Carmel cried. She did, and her dress too was gorgeous. Chris was also smart in a pinstriped suit. However, it wasn’t the clothes that made the difference, but the happiness almost oozing out of the couple. They were at one and in love. Carmel hugged them both in delight and declared truthfully she couldn’t have been happier. Paul took Lois in his arms as well and shook Chris’s hand warmly.

‘Glad to be able to congratulate you at last,’ he said. ‘Bit of a nuisance, the church not allowing Catholics to attend the ceremony, but that’s religion for you.’

‘Most religions are like that about something or other,’ Chris said. ‘Give me the agnostic viewpoint any day.’ Then, seeing that Lois was engaged in talking to Carmel, went on quietly, ‘Left to myself I would have slipped away and married Lois in the registry office and then had dinner with a few chosen friends in a nearby pub. It’s the marrying that counts. Course, I didn’t bother saying that because I knew it would go down so very badly, but all this is a bit over the top for me.’

‘Never mind, mate,’ Paul said, punching his friend on the arm. ‘Grin and bear it, eh? It is only the one day and her father, at any rate, is as pleased as punch.’

‘Oh, he’s like a dog with two tails,’ Chris said. ‘He is all right, James. I have a lot of time for him, but the old harridan of a mother…well, I don’t know what you’d have to do to please her.’

Paul’s eyes followed Chris’s to the disgruntled old woman sitting at a table across the room, her whole body showing her dissatisfaction, watching the proceedings with malevolent eyes. ‘Don’t even try to make up with her,’ he advised. ‘Whatever you do will not be good enough. Now we had better move off because you have a backlog of guests to see. I’ll catch you later.’

Paul, with Carmel on his arm, moved further into the room, each of them accepting a glass of sherry from a silver tray as they went. Paul was immediately hailed by someone from the hospital and as he stopped to speak to them, Carmel made her way to Sylvia and Jane, glad to see familiar faces in the midst of such opulence.

They obviously thought the same because Jane’s first comment was, ‘A bit posh, this.’

‘Bit different from my spartan effort last week.’

‘I really enjoyed your wedding,’ Jane declared. ‘We both did. Didn’t we Sylv?’

‘Not half,’ Sylvia agreed. ‘I had a really good time at yours and could definitely relax more. And while this is all right, when my time comes…well, my parents won’t have the money for anything like this.’

‘Well, what did mine have?’ Carmel said. ‘Not a brass halfpenny. We, or rather Paul, paid for it himself.’

‘And very good it was too,’ Sylvia said. ‘And how is married life?’

‘Terrific, thanks,’ Carmel said, and laughed at the speculative look that passed between her two friends. ‘You are getting no more information than that. Let’s just say in all areas it is more than just satisfactory. And what did you mean by “when my time comes”, Sylvia? Should we be expecting an imminent announcement?’

‘Hardly,’ Sylvia said. ‘Don’t you think that if I had anyone special in my life, he would be here by my side? You couldn’t see my man for dust when I casually mentioned getting engaged.’

‘Mine too,’ Jane said gloomily. ‘I mean, what is a girl to do? If we are not careful, the two of us will be left on the shelf.’

Carmel laughed. ‘Don’t be daft,’ she said. ‘You are only twenty-two. It’s a bit much to be thinking of you as old maids yet a while. But then,’ she went on, ‘just think who will be so proud of you if you are.’

‘Who?’ said both girls, puzzled.

‘The matron,’ Carmel said with an explosion of
laughter. ‘She actually said to me just before I was leaving that she couldn’t understand this passion to get married and that nursing could be a very fulfilling life.’

‘Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better, I don’t think,’ Sylvia said. ‘What about you, Jane?’

‘I feel the same,’ Jane said. ‘And though I enjoy nursing, if I was just to have that in my life, I would think there was something missing.’

‘Yeah, like sex?’ Sylvia put in.

‘If you like,’ Jane said. ‘And nothing wrong with that either. Makes the world go round, don’t it?’

‘It certainly does,’ Carmel said. ‘We would be in a bad way without it. None of us would be here, for a start.’

‘Yeah, think of that loss to mankind.’

‘It would be a blow the world would never recover from, I’m sure,’ Carmel said with a grin. ‘And added to that, sex is very pleasurable.’

‘Oh, yes? Tell us more.’

‘Not likely,’ Carmel said, laying her empty sherry glass on the table. ‘And just now I am going to do my good deed for the day and say hello to Lois’s mother.’

‘Oh, God! Lion’s den or what?’

‘Definitely,’ Carmel said. ‘But it would look mighty odd if I didn’t.’

She didn’t relish the prospect and knew just by looking at the old, miserable woman that she was the sort to target the weak and vulnerable and go in for the kill. Carmel straightened her back unconsciously before crossing the room.

She saw that Marjory Baker’s mouth looked like a scarlet slash of disapproval in a face so wrinkled in dis
content that the face powder lay in the folds of the skin. She reeked of lavender. She regarded Carmel’s approach with blue eyes that were as cold as ice and glittering with malice, and when Carmel sat down in the seat next to her and, holding her hand out, said pleasantly, ‘Hello, Mrs Baker,’ the older woman smiled like a cat might, just before it kills a mouse.

Marjory ignored the hand of friendship completely. ‘You are our Lois’s friend?’ she growled. ‘James pointed you out to me.’

‘Yes,’ Carmel said, still pleasant and still extending her hand. ‘How do you do?’

The woman looked at the hand as if it was a snake and her lip curled in contempt as she said, ‘Another who couldn’t wait to be married. Not long out of the school room and now married.’

Carmel sighed and, giving up the idea of shaking hands with this woman, gave a grim laugh before she said, ‘It’s a long time since I was in the school room. I have been working since I was fourteen, trained as a nurse at eighteen and now I am twenty-two, an adult, and old enough to decide when I want to get married.’

‘Oh, a hoity-toity miss?’

‘Not at all,’ Carmel began, and then stopped for she suddenly saw Emma Connolly enter the room and head straight for her. She felt her insides quiver with nervousness.

She needn’t have worried, as Emma totally ignored her. ‘Marjory, my dear. How are you now?’

Marjory’s eyes narrowed. So, that’s the game, she thought. Emma isn’t happy with Paul’s choice. ‘I’m not so bad,’ she said. ‘But would be better if I wasn’t sitting
next to this young woman who seems to think she knows better than her elders.’

It was as if Marjory had not mentioned Carmel at all. Never by the slightest twitch did Emma acknowledge her presence and instead said to Marjory, ‘I am glad to see you looking so well.’

Carmel got up. There seemed no point in staying to be ignored and she hadn’t gone more than a few paces when Jeff grasped her hand.

‘My dear, can I apologise for my wife’s arrant bad manners?’

‘There’s no need. It isn’t your fault.’

‘There is every need,’ said James, coming to join them. ‘I can hardly believe Emma is my sister, and my wife is little better.’

‘You’re not the only one being given the silent treatment either,’ said Jeff. ‘Emma cut Paul dead when she came face to face with him in the hallway just a few minutes ago.’

That did shake Carmel. She didn’t think Emma would ever do that to Paul. Paul obviously didn’t think so either, for when she caught sight of him just a minute or so later he was white-faced and carried their coats over his arm. ‘We’re leaving,’ he said.

‘Oh, but—;’

‘Look, love,’ Paul said, ‘at the very least there will be a terrible atmosphere if we stay, and at worst I will end up telling my mother exactly what I think of her. We can’t spoil Lois and Chris’s day like that. I have explained it to them and they understand.’

‘I wouldn’t let anyone push me out,’ Jane said fiercely as Paul went to have a few words with his father. ‘I mean,
I agree, your mother-in-law is a cow of the first order, but she would leave before I would.’

‘Hear, hear,’ Sylvia agreed.

Carmel shook her head. ‘No,’ she said, ‘Paul is right: we can’t risk spoiling the day for Chris and Lois.’ She hugged both her friends and said, ‘You know where we live and I expect to see you there before too long. And now that I am an old married woman, I want all prospective boyfriends paraded in front of me, so I can give my expert opinion on their suitability. We will have the pair of you married off in no time, you’ll see.’

‘We’ll bear it in mind,’ Sylvia said with a laugh as Paul came to claim Carmel.

Things might have been explained to Lois, but she was still mortified with shame and she had tears streaming down her face as she hugged her friend when they met in the little lobby by the front door of the hotel.

‘Don’t cry,’ Carmel urged. ‘Please don’t. It is terrible to cry on your wedding day.’

‘But I wanted you here, you of all people.’

‘Listen, Lois, our Church prevented me from attending the actual wedding. This is just the party afterwards.’

‘Yes, but—;’

‘So, how about us arranging a house-warming when you come back from your few days’ honeymoon and invite just the people we want to invite?’

‘I’m all for that,’ Chris said. ‘Damned shame, though, about all this unpleasantness.’

‘That’s all right,’ Carmel said. ‘We are stuck with our relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends.’

‘You said it,’ Paul said. He glanced back into the room. ‘You had better get back to your guests.’

‘Put some powder under your eyes first to hide the puffiness,’ Carmel suggested, and Paul and Carmel slipped away as Lois was trying to repair the damage to her face.

However, despite the assurances Carmel had given to Lois, she felt slightly despondent as they wandered down Mill Street hand in hand. She tried to hide this from Paul, knowing he would start blaming himself, and yet she knew he had made the right decision to leave the reception. Paul, though, did know how Carmel was feeling, for he was disappointed himself and when he pulled her into his arms and said, ‘What d’you say to a slap-up meal for the pair of us, somewhere posh to suit the finery we have on, as we are not going to get a sniff of the wedding breakfast?’ Carmel had to feign more enthusiasm than she felt.

By the time Lois and Chris were back from their few days’ honeymoon in Blackpool, Carmel had come to terms with the way she had been slighted at their wedding reception and told Lois, who was still fretting, not to worry about it.

‘For a start,’ she said. ‘Paul’s mother is crackers. I mean, he told me he didn’t expect his mother to go to our wedding because she had said basically she didn’t think it posh enough. But any normal person, even if they had been daft enough to think that months before, would surely to God had got over it by the day of the wedding. Mind you, judging by the way she was at yours, I can only be glad she didn’t make it. We left to prevent
a scene that would have spoiled your day. She is not used to being thwarted, that’s her trouble.’

Lois nodded. ‘You’re right. We used to go for a visit and Uncle Jeff would spend the whole time running around after her and sort of deferring to her in everything and agreeing with her all the time. I hated to see him like that, to tell you the truth. I mean, he wasn’t at all like that about other things.’

Carmel said, ‘It probably got to be a sort of habit so that he didn’t think about it; it was just something he had always done. It spread to the children as well—Paul, anyway, because he was always being warned, as he was growing up, not to upset his mother. That gets kind of ingrained in a person like the fear we all had for my father. Even to think of him now ties my stomach in knots.’

‘Yes, and we were encouraged to think of our mother as delicate,’ Lois said. ‘D’you know, we’re not well blest with our parents, are we? Perhaps my mother, your father and your mother-in-law should get together sometime and compare notes.’

‘Yeah,’ Carmel agreed with a smile. ‘I have a better idea. Let’s leave them on a deserted island somewhere and they can bully or roar at one another to their hearts’ content.’

‘Oh, if only we could,’ Lois replied with feeling, then went on, ‘Uncle Jeff was furious with Aunt Emma after you had gone. I have never seen him so angry and it was worse because he had to sort of control it, you know. Anyway, as soon as the meal was over he fetched Aunt Emma’s coat and hauled her off home. I bet he really let rip then.’

‘Oh, to be a fly on the wall.’

‘I’ll say. I’d be rubbing my hands with glee to see that woman get her comeuppance, for all she is my aunt.’

‘Oh, let’s draw a line under the bloody woman,’ Carmel said. ‘I am fed up talking about her. Let’s plan the party instead—a much nicer subject to discuss altogether—and I think one of the first things to do is introduce ourselves to the neighbours. I haven’t seen them except to nod to, taking things to the bin or hanging out a bit of washing, because I thought I would leave formal introductions until you arrived. They are an oldish couple and as tomorrow is Saturday we might get both of them in if we go round in the afternoon. I’d hate to get off on the wrong foot and let the first time we meet them be when they come round to complain about the noise of the house-warming.’

Lois could see the sense of that. The next afternoon, the two girls knocked at the house next door and met George and Ruby Hancock. The couple had been intrigued by the set-up next door to them and were delighted to discover two young married couples would be living there, all with respectable jobs and the girls, at least, with impeccable manners.