To Die Fur (A Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Mystery) (18 page)

[Which I’m sure you have no experience with.]

[Excuse me. If you hear a sudden loud noise, it’s merely my brain exploding.]

“Who?”

what
being a black bear named Bruno.>

“An actual bear, not a stuffed animal?”

“How so?”

[Not just chimps. It’s amazing how many of the substances in my olfactory library are labeled as animal psychedelics:
Astragalus
or
Swainsona
for horses,
Amanita muscaria
for reindeer,
Banisteriopsis caapi
for jaguars.]

I already knew about animals with bad habits; Caroline had told me a few stories about rescued chimps with a variety of addictions, including tobacco of both the regular and wacky types. “Poor Gorgo. Did he have a jones for junk food, too?”

“Uh-oh. What did they give him?”

[What did Gorgo do?] Whiskey asked.

“Wow. Did the fall kill him?”

[I don’t imagine he would.]

“So what happened to Bruno?”

Well, that explained why the liger was so interested in the bear statue in the graveyard. Poor guy; childhood friends would always have a special place in your heart, and when they were also your only friend? No wonder he was sad.

My phone rang; it was ZZ. “Foxtrot? I’ve made a decision concerning Augustus’s body. I’m going to announce it at dinner tonight. Will you be there?”

“Of course.”

Then she told me what she’d decided. “That makes sense,” I said. “But it’ll make everyone else angry.”

“No matter what I decide the rest are going to be angry. That’s why I want you there—I’m going to need a little help keeping people calm.”

*   *   *

I dressed early for dinner and went downstairs. Whiskey and Tango, as usual, went with me.

Oscar was already in the sitting room, nursing a drink; though with Oscar “nursing” generally translated into “euthanasia,” with another patient being wheeled in as the first one left.

“Hello, Oscar. Fueling up for the evening’s festivities?”

He raised his glass in a salute. “Indubitably. I’ve been considering offering odds on a winner if things come to blows.”

“Who’s the favorite?”

“It’s hard to say. Karst is an outdoorsman, but Rajiv has the devious eyes of a lawyer. Then again, both Mr. Chukwukadibia and Ms. Yao have a certain fervid intensity that could translate into serious bloodshed.”

I walked over to the bar and poured myself some sherry. “What, our self-admitted criminal doesn’t even get a mention?”

Oscar took a long swallow of his drink before answering. “First of all, Mr. Navarro hasn’t admitted to being a criminal, only to working for one. Second, one never wagers on the professional in a case like this. They’re always much too careful to get their hands dirty.”

I had to admit he had a point. Not that I thought Navarro wasn’t capable of violence, just that he was extremely aware of its consequences.

The first to join us for drinks was Jaro Karst. He seemed his usual relaxed self, slightly less jovial than usual but still cheerful. He was followed by Rajiv Gunturu, who had dressed all in black—right down to his turban—and was somber. He and Jaro exchanged glances, but apparently had nothing to say to each other.

Zhen Yao was next, also dressed in black, and looking resigned. She’d obviously convinced herself that ZZ was going to choose someone else.

I’d thought Navarro might pull his showing-up-at-the-last-minute bit again, but he surprised me by arriving at the same time as Abazu. They even appeared to be talking civilly to each other, which amazed me. It shouldn’t have, though; I’ve seen stranger things at ZZ’s get-togethers. You never can tell who will hit it off with whom.

“Good evening,” I said to both of them. “Can I get anyone a drink?”

Abazu wanted a soda, while Navarro asked for a glass of red wine. “We were just discussing exercise regimens,” Abazu said as he accepted his drink.

“Yes,” Navarro said. “I’m fond of tai chi and free weights, while Abazu favors hiking.”

Abazu nodded, beaming. “Indeed. I used to do a little weight lifting myself, many years ago, but I’m afraid my back and I disagreed on the practice. These days, I much prefer long walks to stay in shape—the worst I risk then is sore feet. But put too much strain on my back and I could be immobilized for a week.”

“Well, if that happens, don’t worry. We’ll take care of you.” I glanced at Navarro. “We’re in no hurry to get rid of anyone, as long as they behave.”

He bowed his head with a slight smile. “So noted. I’ll call off the airstrike I had scheduled for midnight.”

I smiled back despite myself, then excused myself to make nice with the other guests. Everyone was pleasant enough, but I wound up doing most of the talking; people were either morose or nervous, worried about saying the wrong thing and screwing up their chances. Even Karst didn’t do more than mumble a few inanities about how he’d enjoyed using the pool today.

Then it was time for dinner. The quiet at the table was even worse, the only noise from the guests the occasional clink of silverware or slurp of soup. I did my best to fill the void by chatting with Oscar and ZZ, but all my comments did was make everybody else’s silence seem even more pronounced. I could usually count on Oscar for a few entertaining remarks, but he deliberately kept all his responses down to one word, accompanied by an evil smirk. Kind of like this:

Me: “My, it certainly was nice out today. Not like that time we had the freak blizzard and aliens invaded and the dead rose and then a dinosaur carjacked the pope. That was quite the day, wasn’t it, Oscar?”

Oscar: “Yes.”

Except, of course, what I was actually saying wasn’t anywhere near that interesting. ZZ wasn’t much more help. She had serious things on her mind, and making small talk just wasn’t high on her to-do list. So I bravely nattered on, feeling like a tap dancer on the
Titanic
as the deck slowwwwly tilted to one side.

“… and
that’s
why I never get croutons on my salad at a steak house,” I said. “Right, Oscar?”

“Yes.”

I returned his smirk with a hard smile that told him I’d make him suffer for this later. He didn’t seem intimidated, but Oscar had several glasses of courage in him by that point.

ZZ waited until the main course had been served, eaten, and cleared before she decided to make her announcement. She cleared her throat, causing the room to go so quiet I could hear individual atoms spinning in their orbits, and said, “I’d like to thank everyone for their patience. It’s been a difficult and sad day, and all of us have been affected. That being said, practical matters still have to be dealt with, and it falls to me to make certain decisions.”

She paused. I took a quick look around the table and saw the same nervous, anticipatory look on everyone’s face—everyone but Navarro. He looked relaxed and carefree, like a man on vacation whose biggest decision is what to have for dessert.

“But before I tell you what I’ve decided, there’s something else you need to know first. Augustus didn’t die of natural causes—he was poisoned.”

I was watching for people’s reactions. Everyone looked shocked, except for Navarro. He just nodded, ever so slightly.

Zhen was the first to speak. “How—how was this done?”

“Antifreeze in the pool,” ZZ said.

“Who would do this?” Rajiv demanded.

“And why?” said Karst.

Everyone turned to look at Navarro. He laughed and spread his hands in front of him. “Don’t be ridiculous. I wanted him alive just as much as anyone else. And if I had killed him, why would I still be here?”

“That is a very good question,” Abazu said mildly. “Why, indeed, are any of us still here? I suspect for the very same reason.”

“And you would be correct,” said ZZ. “Each of you wants Augustus’s body, for differing purposes. I’ve spent all day thinking about which of you should get it, and why.”

“Have you made your choice?” asked Navarro.

“I have. The body will go to the Wuhan Zoo, to aid them in their liger research. And my decision is final.”

Nobody looked more surprised than Zhen Yao. “I—thank you,” she said. “We shall do our best to honor your generosity. Thank you.”

“I’m not the one you need to honor,” said ZZ. “Honor Augustus. Honor the existence of a magnificent, unique creature who’s gone now. Maybe, if we’re lucky, one day we’ll see another like him. Do your best to make that day arrive.”

“I shall,” she said quietly.

“This is not acceptable,” Rajiv growled. “Do you have any idea how much money my firm has invested in this? The least you can do is give us the body!”

“Hang on there, mate,” said Karst. “We all wanted to walk away with the prize, but fair is fair. Let it go.”

“I will not! Ms. Zoransky, listen to reason. I am authorized to increase my bid—surely there is room for negotiation?”

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Gunturu.”

“But—a research facility? They will simply chop him into pieces!”

“Indeed,” said Abazu. “And you will stuff and mount him, will you not? How is that better?”

I kept glancing at Navarro, expecting him to voice his own objections, but he was simply listening to the others intently.

Rajiv got to his feet. “It will provide many with the chance to experience some of the grandeur of the liger firsthand, something you would deny them. Surely you must see—”

“Sit down,” Navarro said.

The room didn’t so much fall silent as collectively hold its breath. There was nothing overtly threatening in Navarro’s voice, but the softness of his tone was somehow far more menacing than a barked command. Rajiv sat down.

“And you, Mr. Navarro?” ZZ said. “Will you respect my decision, or do you have more veiled threats to make?”

Navarro shook his head. “No threats. A good negotiator knows when a deal is done, and this one is over. Thank you for your hospitality, Ms. Zoransky. And my compliments to your chef—the meals here have been excellent.” He got up, nodded to everyone at the table, and left the room.

Give him a moment and then follow him,
I told Whiskey.

[Understood.]

“Now, I understand Chef Montain has prepared a wonderful dessert,” said ZZ. “Let’s all enjoy it without arguing, shall we?”

Rajiv glared at her, but said nothing.

“I’ll have the gangster’s portion,” said Oscar. “I don’t think he’s coming back.”

*   *   *

Afterward, the guests didn’t linger. Rajiv stormed off without a word, stomping upstairs presumably to pack. Karst ambled back to the study with Oscar, both of them with drinks in hand. Abazu said he was going for a walk, while Zhen, ZZ, and I went upstairs to ZZ’s study to discuss details of transporting the body.