TIS THE SEASON...FOR ROMANCE (WESTMORELAND/MASTERS/JEFFERIES) (18 page)

When they’d first begun seeing each other he would return to Orlando every other week. Now he came to town every weekend. His daughter had begun teasing him about it but he took it all in stride. He figured sooner or later they would make a decision about their future. He was just giving her time to get used to having him around. She had to know the only reason he visited Orlando so often was because of her.

He wondered how she defined their relationship and decided he would ask her later.

* * *

“Peggy?”

They’d just made love and she was lying beside him with her eyes closed. His hands were resting on her thigh, still needing to touch her. “Hmm?”

“I have a business trip to Paris the first week in February and I would like you to come with me.”

He studied her face and saw her eyes open. She glanced over at him in surprise.

“Paris?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t miss the frown that settled on her face as she pulled herself up in bed in a sitting position. “I don’t know, Willie. We’ve never gone on a trip together before.”

“I know. Don’t you think it’s about time?”

Her frown deepened. “I didn’t know there was a time table on things like that.”

“There’s not, but I figured it would be something nice for us to do together.”

“Yes, but Paris?”

“I’d like to take you there.” He decided not to mention that in the eight months they’d been together, although he’d invited her to his ranch in Texas she hadn’t been there either.

When she didn’t say anything he said. “Talk to me, Peggy. Is it because you can’t get the time off work or is it me?”

She lifted her brow. “You?”

“Yes, sweetheart, me.” He moved to prop up on his elbow. “I want to ask you something and I want you to think before you respond, okay.”

“Okay.”

“How would you define our relationship?”

He could tell she’d gotten nervous by the way she was nibbling on her bottom lip. “How would you define it?” she countered.

“I asked you first.”

She pulled in a deep breath and met his gaze and said. “I consider us friends.”

He nodded. “Nothing more than friends?”

“Good friends,” she clarified.

He didn’t say anything for a moment. He would love for her to admit to him what she’d admitted to Toni a week ago. “And good friends on occasion do things together, I would agree with that. However, I doubt very many spend as much time in bed as we do,” he said, trying to make a point and hoped that she got it.

She shook her head. “No, but our relationship is different.”

“Different how?”

She shrugged. “We’re good friends and we’re also lovers.”

He noted she spoke with strong conviction in her voice when she’d stated the latter. “And what if I told you I wanted to be more than your good friend and lover, Peggy? What if I told you that I was in love with you and wanted to marry you?”

She stared at him for a long moment and then without saying anything she slowly eased out of bed. He could tell her degree of nervousness had increased by the way she was rubbing her hands over her arms. And she was looking at everything else in her bedroom but him. She was wearing a cute negligee. She liked wearing them to bed and although he would eventually remove them, sometime during the night she would put it back on. She hadn’t gotten the hang of sleeping in the nude yet.

Finally she met his gaze again and he actually saw fear in her eyes. “Why do you want things between us to change, Willie?”

She eased up in bed, not caring he was stark naked. “And why do you want things between us to stay the same?”

She gazed at him for a long moment and then she turned and walked over to the window and glanced out into the darkness. It took her a few moments to turn around and the look on her face made him draw in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Tears wetted her cheeks.

“I’m scared to totally give my heart to you,” she said brokenly.

He got out of bed and crossed the room to pull her into his arms. After holding her for a few moments he asked. “Why, Peggy? Do you think I would deliberately hurt you?”

She shook her head against his chest before raising her face to meet his gaze. “No, I don’t think you would deliberately hurt me. You are the most honorable man I know, Willie. I realized it on the first day I met you. You’re as genuine as they come. You would treat your marriage vows as sacred and would never abuse them.” She paused a second and then said. “But -”

“But what?”

“Nothing is one-hundred sure proof. And I’ve built this protective shield around me since my divorce. Our relationship, as it is now, makes me feel safe because I’ve set up inner boundaries I won’t cross. I don’t want that to change.”

“And I do. We’ve been together for eight months, Peggy. We’re good together, we enjoy spending time together and I see no reason for us not to consider our future.” He smiled teasingly down at her. “We’re not getting any younger, you know.”

Willie then paused a moment and when she lowered her head to study his naked chest, he added. “And I’m not Joe.”

She snatched her head up abruptly and met his gaze. “I never said you were Joe,” she whispered.

“You didn’t have to. By not wanting to deepen our relationship and setting those boundaries you basically told me what the roadblocks were. He hurt you, I know that. His actions established a degree of mistrust in your mind about men, including me, I know that as well. But not all men are like Joe Morrison, Peggy, and don’t you think it’s time for you to give love a second chance? I heard it’s even better the second time around.”

She held his gaze for the longest time. “I wished I could believe that.”

“You can and you should. But the belief has to come from within you, Peggy. You have to be the one to determine if your ex-husband is worth everything you’re now denying yourself because of him and the pain he’s caused you. I can’t make that decision for you, sweetheart. I’m just a man who has fallen in love with you. I don’t want anyone else and I don’t need anyone else, younger or older. You’re all the woman I need and want but you have to believe it. I can tell you that until I’m blue in the face and it wouldn’t matter. It has to be what you believe.”

When she didn’t say anything, he said. “Come on, let’s get dressed and fix breakfast. I’ll be leaving for the airport around noon today,” he whispered against her ear.

The thought of leaving her this time bothered him but he knew she needed her space to think about all they’d said to each other. He knew things would work out between them, but like he’d said she was the one who had to believe.

* * *

A short while later they were in her kitchen working in companionable silence. As usual he was at the stove cooking the eggs, bacon and biscuits while she set the table. Over the past few months they’d done this together several times. The only difference today was the silence. Peggy suspected that like her, Willie had a lot on his mind.

“Everything’s ready.”

She turned from taking the bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator. “Okay.”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see something was going wrong with their relationship already and she had no idea how to fix it. He wanted her to go to Paris with him but she wasn’t sure she was ready to do that. In her mind, taking a trip with him meant leaving her comfort zone, venturing beyond what was safe and the thought of doing that sent shivers of fear down her spine. She had worked too hard to rebuild her self-esteem at the risk of it being destroyed again. That was more than she could bear.

Peggy continued to hold his gaze, seeing the solemn look in his eyes. He was a wonderful man and he loved her. He’d said it and she believed him. He didn’t deserve the garbage she was still lugging around. He deserved so much more. And the sad thing was that she loved him back. She really did but she was afraid to admit it to him.

“Come here, baby.”

She sat the orange juice on the table and didn’t hesitate to cross the room to him. She shivered as she went into his open arms and he pulled her closer to him. He seemed to be enveloping her fears – but not all of them. There were some he didn’t know about. The ones of her sitting in her house alone days and nights drinking heavily. God, she didn’t ever want to go through that period of her life again. It could destroy her. It was bad enough that every time she saw Joe and Suzette she was reminded of the pain, the hurt and the humiliation. Why couldn’t she let go?

“I love you,” Willie whispered against her temple.

She lifted her head from his chest and met his gaze. At that moment he deserved her honesty. “And I love you. But -”

He placed a finger to his lips. “I won’t accept any buts baby. When you’re ready to take full advantage of that second time around, I want you to say you love me with finality. There can be no reservations. Okay?”

She fought the tears from her eyes. He deserved what he was asking of her. “Okay.”

“What you need is time, sweetheart. Time to think about all I’m offering and I will give you that.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I won’t take up your time this weekend. I promised Norris I would help him work on the cabin at the lake anyway.” She swallowed. In other words, he would not be coming to Orlando this weekend. Would he come back ever?

As if he read her thoughts he lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “This is not goodbye so don’t even think it, babe.”

Relief flooded through her and she nodded. And then wanting to convey her own feelings in a physical way, she leaned up on her toes and she kissed him. She kissed him with all the love in her heart, although she knew for them it wasn’t enough. But for now it would make do and when he tightened his arms around her and returned the kiss, she knew her attempt had not only been accepted but was now being reciprocated. When he groaned deep in his throat and deepen the kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold on as heat rushed through her.

She gasped and broke off the kiss when she was swept off her feet and into his strong arms, and knew just where he was taking her. “The food is going to get cold, Willie.”

He smiled down at her. “That’s the beauty of having a microwave. We can warm it up again later.”

She smiled as she cuddled closer into his arms. Yes they could warm it up again and they would. Much later.

Peggy stood at the window and looked out. It had been two weeks since she’d seen Willie and she was missing him like crazy. They still talked on the phone most nights but it wasn’t the same. Their conversations didn’t have the excited anticipation of them knowing their week was headed into the weekend where they would spend time together.

She knew he would be leaving for Paris next week although he hadn’t reminded her of it. He’d invited her to go and was letting it be her decision. She thought about it all the time and each time she got ready to pick up the phone to call and let him know she’d decided to go, something would hold her back. Her hands would get clammy and sweaty and all it took was for her to remember the mess she made of her life when Joe had asked her for a divorce to marry Suzette.

She loved Willie; she knew that in her heart. And like she’d told him she also knew he was a different man than Joe. But still, something was keeping her from taking that next step in their relationship. Toni, Barbara and Sonya had tried talking sense into her, telling her she should go to Paris with him. But she’d closed her ears to their opinions.

“Ms. Morrison, Mr. Joe Morrison is on line one.”

Peggy winced. The last time Joe had called her at her office almost seven months ago had ended in them not speaking to each other for months. Not that she cared since even now their relationship was strained. The only reason she cared about it now was because of Sonya’s delicate condition. Her daughter was going through morning sickness big time and poor Mike was taking all the blame.

She drew in a deep breath as she moved to her desk and pressed the button. “Thanks.”

She picked up the phone. “Yes, Joe?”

“Peggy, I’ve been trying to get Sonya, where is she. I need to talk to her. I need to talk to my baby.”

Peggy frowned. Joe’s speech was slurred and she could barely make out what he’d said. If she didn’t know better she would think he was drunk and as far as she knew he was still only a social drinker, which didn’t explain why he’d be intoxicated so early in the morning.

Besides that, when had Sonya become his baby? He hadn’t referred to their thirty-five-year-old daughter as his baby in years. Maybe she should remind him about the two-month old baby Suzette had given him, but decided not to waste her time. The last person she wanted to bring up was Suzette.

“Sonya is out of town, Joe. She left yesterday with Mike. They went with Carla, Jesse and the kids to Atlanta for the Martin Luther King Day parade.”

“I need to talk to her. I need to tell her what Suzette has done.”

Peggy rolled her eyes. “I wished you wouldn’t get our daughter involved in you and your wife’s drama, Joe.”